Player

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The player in Word Realms might be a Wizard or Warrior, but character-development-wise, follows largely the same path either way.

During battles, the player and opponent take turns taunting each other, usually alongside an attack, in which case the taunt normally includes the attack word. Possible taunts for the player follow.

Contents

Special Taunts

In a Bubble

  • I guess I'll just stand here in this bubble.
  • It's kind of boring in here.
  • I hate this stupid bubble.

While your opponent is Impersonating you

  • Can't... hurt... myself!
  • That face is just too pretty to hit!
  • I'm not some kind of masochist!

If you try a word not in the dictionary

  • Ow, I stubbed my toe!
  • Crap, I think I pulled something.
  • Dangit, stand still!
  • Charlie horse! Charlie horse!
  • I think I drank too much last night.
  • I'm feeling a bit off-balance...

When your opponent requires your attack word to be a different part of speech

These may come about from an opponent using Active Bodyguard, Literal-Minded, or Invisible.

  • I guess this %NOUN isn't going to impress you.
  • Showing you my %NOUN isn't getting me anywhere with you.
  • I guess these %NOUNS aren't going to impress you.
  • Showing you my %NOUNS isn't getting me anywhere with you.
  • This fight's %ADJ enough with you being so hard to hit.
  • Man, what's %ADJER than an enemy you can't seem to hit?
  • Your perplexing nature is the %ADJEST! Cut it out!
  •  %WORD! Not that it matters much, I guess.

When your opponent is Impatient (requires a shorter word)

  • Back in my day, (a/an) %NOUN only cost 5 crowns.
  • Sigh.  %NOUNS today.
  • The youth of today are far too %ADJ.
  • Things were %ADJER when I was your age.
  • Yours is the %ADJEST generation.
  • Kids today, they just don't %VERB!
  • The problem with your generation is that it %VERBS too much.
  • Back in my day, we %VERBED our elders.
  • In my day, %VERBING was popular with the kids.
  • I hear you kids saying '%WORD' all the time. What does it mean?

When your opponent is The Invisible Man and is impatient

  • What? Where'd you go?

When a Giant Spider mutes you

  • Mmmph.  Mph.
  • Mmthmm phmkmm.
  • M mmmt!

When you pass your turn

  • Better run while you can, punk.
  • Excuse me while I tie my shoes.
  • Look! A three-headed monkey!
  • I sure could use a drink.
  • Why aren't you dead yet?
  • Time out for a sec.
  • Woah woah woah. Hold on a minute,

When you start first

  • Say your prayers, sucker!
  • You're going DOWN.
  • I'm gonna wipe the floor with you! Ooh yeah!
  • Can you smell what I'm cooking?!
  • I'm here to kick expletives and chew bubblegum!
  • I'm kicking butt and taking names!
  • I am the greatest!
  • I'm gonna rip you a new one!
  • What d'you want on your tombstone?
  • Say your prayers, punk!
  • The pain train is leavin' the station! Next stop: you!
  • Get bent!
  • Halt, villain!
  • En garde!
  • Have at you, fiend!
  • Prepare to die!
  • Hello. My name is %name. Prepare to die.
  • Say your prayers, buddy.
  • Get ready to meet your maker...
  • Prepare to die, scum!
  • You sure you want to tangle with me?
  • Prepare to taste justice!
  • Can't we just be friends?

For specific parts of speech that don't have a word-specific taunt

  • You're not ready for my %NOUN!
  • This is gonna hurt like (a/an) %NOUN.
  • You'll be bleeding out of your %NOUN when I'm through with you!
  • I'm gonna knock your %NOUN off.
  • Take this %NOUN! Please!
  • Respect my %NOUN!
  • I've got a match: your face and my %NOUN!
  • Pain is temporary, but (a/an) %NOUN is forever!
  • You're no match for my %NOUN!
  • Your %NOUNS are showing!
  • You're gonna need some new %NOUNS when this is over!
  • I hope you like the taste of %NOUNS!
  • You'll be spitting %NOUNS when I'm done with you!
  • I'm gonna take you to the %NOUNS.
  • This one's coming straight at your %NOUNS!
  • I'm gonna come down on you like a ton of %NOUNS!
  • You're gonna be %ADJ when I'm done with you.
  • Take this, %ADJ cur!
  • You're in for (a/an) %ADJ time!
  • Good grief, you're really %ADJ.
  • Whew! How do you stand to be so %ADJ?
  • You can't beat me! I'm %ADJ!
  • The %ADJ Kid, they used to call me. Because I was %ADJ.
  • I'm much %ADJER than you, so there!
  • I doubt you're %ADJER than this!
  • I'm %ADJER than you'll ever be!
  • I am the %ADJEST!
  • This is gonna be the %ADJEST day of your life!
  • I'm the %ADJEST there ever was!
  • I'll %VERB your face!
  • Fish gotta %VERB; I've gotta beat you up!
  • Birds gotta %VERB; I've gotta beat you up!
  • I'm gonna %VERB you into next week!
  • Get ready to %VERB, scum!
  • It's sink or %VERB time!
  • Don't think you can %VERB your way out of this!
  •  %VERB the painbow!
  • I'll %VERB you so hard your grandkids will feel it!
  • Your mom %VERBS! So there!
  • Let's see how your head %VERBS!
  • Your face really %VERBS me off.
  • You won't even know what %VERBED you.
  • You'll be sorry you ever %VERBED.
  • This'll be the worst pain you've ever %VERBED!
  • You're gonna be %VERBING blood after this.
  • There's no %VERBING your way out of this!
  • Less talk, more %VERBING!
  • You're %VERBING for a bruising!
  • It's %VERBING time!
  • I can hit you hard, or I can hit you %ADV. I choose %ADV.
  • I speak softly and beat you %ADV!
  • I speak %ADV and carry a big (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).

Generic taunts

  • You're no match for my %WORD-fu!
  •  %WORD, I say.  %WORD!
  • I can't think of anything funny to say about %WORD.
  • Mama always said '%WORD.' Mama was crazy.

Word-specific taunts

  • Open up and say AAH.
  • This will provoke some oohs, some AAHS, and some ouches.
  • I'll be miles from here before your pain ABATES!
  • Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as I ABHOR you.
  • Nature ABHORS a vacuum, and I abhor you.
  • The Dude ABIDES, but I have no patience at all.
  • My wrath will set you ABLAZE.
  • Are you still ABLE to stand? Guess I'll keep beating you, then.
  • I'll beat you soundly and ABLY.
  • All ABOARD the Ass-Kick Express, now leaving the station!
  • You'd better ABORT your mission to try to defeat me!
  • This attack ABORTS any hope of victory you might have had!
  • I'll beat you ABOUT the head and neck.
  • Heavens ABOVE, is that your actual face?
  • You're about to be ABSENT from this picture.
  • You'll end this fight feeling used and ABUSED.
  • Read this insult with a French ACCENT: Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
  • ACCORDING to my calculations, you've got about twelve seconds to live.
  • You're about to shed dignity and ACCRUE wounds!
  • I've got an ACE up my sleeve. Here it is!
  • Your blood's not ACID, right? Because I'm about to spill a lot of it.
  • They'll use ACIDS to etch your tombstone soon.
  • Even a tiny ACORN grows into a magnificent ass-kicking.
  • Were you just trying to attack me? I've had squirrels throw ACORNS at me harder than that!
  • You're in for, if not a world of hurt, at least a full ACRE.
  • Maybe this'll help me get my point ACROSS.
  • Don't ACT like this doesn't hurt.
  • No more words. Time for ACTION!
  • ACTIONS speak louder than words, so let me shout with my attack!
  • Evil ACTS require punishment.
  • I'm not kidding -- I ACTUALLY am going to kill you.
  • You appear to have an ACUTE case of asskickitis.
  • Allow me to ADD some bloodstains to your clothes.
  • Allow me to ADDRESS your lack of a major spinal fracture.
  • Your existence ADDS nothing to the world.
  • I dislike your attitude. Allow me to ADJUST it.
  • It's time for me to ADMINISTRATE a beatdown!
  • I really ADMIRE the way you're still standing after all this.
  • If you'd fought more bravely, I might have ADMIRED you.
  • Without further ADO, take this!
  • You should consider ADOPTING a kid and getting him trained to fight on your behalf.
  • Sit thine ass ADOWN, foul varlet!
  • I am more ADROIT than you, and more cunning.
  • Your eyes are like ADS for evil.
  • How about we discuss this like a reasonable ADULT... and whatever you are.
  • Get ready for an ADVANCED course in being beaten up.
  • I'll give you some ADVICE -- go back in time and don't pick this fight with me.
  • Ach, away AFF wi' ye!
  • Let's see how a (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) in your guts AFFECTS your ability to sass-talk!
  • Don't be AFRAID. Actually, on second thought, be AFRAID. Be very, very AFRAID.
  • AFTER I'm done with you, you'll be able to get a job as a dishrag.
  • I'm gonna hit you, and then I'm gonna hit you AGAIN.
  • I'm AGAINST animal cruelty, so I'm just gonna put you out of your misery.
  • What AGE should I inscribe on your tombstone?
  • My AGED grandmother fights harder than you do!
  • I shall be the AGENT of your doom.
  • My fists are the AGENTS of your demise!
  • I wish you were stronger; I haven't had a proper fight in AGES.
  • You think you'll win this fight? I am AGHAST!
  • If you were more AGILE, you could avoid this.
  • Hang on, didn't I kill you just a few minutes AGO?
  • Your future contains more AGONIES than ecstasies.
  • Get ready for some AGONY.
  • You think I should beat you senseless? I AGREE!
  • I hit, you die. Are we AGREED?
  • I don't like you, and my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) AGREES with me.
  • AHA! You left yourself wide open!
  • AHOY matey, prepare to be boarded... by my fist!
  • Nobody will come to your AID...
  • I hope this AIDS you on your way to Hell.
  • This is good for what AILS you, if that happens to be an unbroken skull.
  • I AIM to make you regret fighting with me.
  • My AIMS are 1) win this fight, 2) take your stuff, 3) dance on your grave. Let's begin!
  • I will rob you of the very AIR you breathe!
  • You think you're better than me? I'll teach you to put on AIRS!
  • I'm almost feeling something AKIN to pity for you. Almost.
  • I don't mean to ALARM you, but you're about to die.
  • ALAS and alack, I give thee a smack!
  • I do feel some regret about this, ALBEIT not very much.
  • I like two things. Beating you up, and drinking ALE.
  • ALGA will grow on your bones!
  • I bet winning is a pretty ALIEN concept to you.
  • There'll be nothing left of you for ALIENS to abduct.
  • What? You're still ALIVE?!
  • I won't be content until I've spilled ALL of your blood.
  • Pardon me if I sneeze. I have an ALLERGY to losers.
  • You could've had me as an ALLY, but you picked the wrong team.
  • My ALMA Mater is Defeat U.
  • Be patient, I'm ALMOST done with you.
  • It's gonna take a lot of ALOE to heal this one.
  • When this attack's over, I'll be standing here ALONE!
  • Why can't we all just get ALONG?
  • I'm gonna lay you out ALONGSIDE the corpses of your fallen comrades!
  • Had enough ALREADY? I'm just getting started!
  • I have a hangnail. ALSO, take this!
  • I'll sacrifice you on the ALTAR of righteousness.
  • I'm gonna sacrifice you on the ALTARS of blood and spinal fracture.
  • Don't be surprised if this beating ALTERS your plans for the evening.
  • You don't seem like that bad a guy really, ALTHOUGH that won't stop me from beating the hell out of you.
  • You're a bass now, but you'll soon be an ALTO.
  • Why do you guys ALWAYS have to choose the hard way?
  • Your ability to soak up damage continues to AMAZE me.
  • You'll be AMAZED by how much this hurts!
  • It AMAZES me that you still think you can win!
  • It really is AMAZING how you can take a beating like this and still stand.
  • And now I shall smite thee, AMEN.
  • Is it my sorrowful fate to always find myself AMID such fools?
  • I feel like a wolf AMIDST the sheep. C'mere, sheep.
  • Something seems AMISS... Oh! Your skull is still intact!
  • I'm gonna run AMOK on your internal organs!
  • You'll be bleeding out of your ears, AMONG other things.
  • Don't worry, I'll find you a nice spot in the graveyard, AMONGST your soon-to-be fellow corpses.
  • You don't AMOUNT to a hill of beans.
  • For my next trick: multiple AMPUTATIONS!
  • Shouldn't a fighter as bad as you wear some kind of protective AMULET?
  • Do you think I'm here to AMUSE you?
  • I don't know whether to be offended or AMUSED by your attacks.
  • I'm going to tear you a new ANAL orifice!
  • Further ANALYSIS may be required, but my working theory is that you're ugly and I'm going to beat you up.
  • You aren't a good fighter, but I bet you'd make a great boat ANCHOR.
  • I'm gonna hit you AND it's gonna hurt.
  • No ifs, ANDS, or buts about it -- you're going down.
  • I am the ANGEL of your death.
  • Flights of ANGELS will not sing you to your rest.
  • You need more fire within you to succeed. You have ANGER management issues!
  • Your insolence ANGERS me. Have at you!
  • I'm gonna hit you from all the ANGLES I can think of.
  • Okay, now I'm really ANGRY!
  • Your whole family is a bunch of filthy ANIMALS!
  • You shall not mitigate my ANIMUS against you!
  • You're not worth an ANNA. It's... a coin, apparently.
  • You know, you're really starting to ANNOY me.
  • I'm getting kind of ANNOYED that you aren't dead yet.
  • It's time for your ANNUAL beating.
  • If you think you can beat me, you've got ANOTHER think coming!
  • Your face asked a question. My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) will ANSWER.
  • I'm gonna crush you like an elephant crushes an ANT!
  • If you wanna play, you'd better ANTE up! ...Or something!
  • I'm not a racist, but I'm definitely ANTI-you.
  • I'm gonna tear you into tiny, tiny bits and feed you to the ANTS!
  • Presently, varlet, I shall calcitrate your ANUS.
  • Do you have ANY last words? Other than 'ow'?
  • You got ANYTHING you want me to tell your next of kin?
  • I hate to sink to your level, but I'm going to kill you ANYWAY.
  • It's time to take you APART.
  • I would kill you in a really exciting way, but I'm feeling kind of APATHETIC.
  • You damned dirty APE!
  • I've met APES smarter than you!
  • I'll knock you to the APEX of Mt. Pain.
  • I shall defeat you with gusto and APLOMB.
  • I think you owe me an APOLOGY for getting blood all over my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • Is your name Stupid McUglyjerk? Because that would be surprisingly APT.
  • I can't wait to see the ARC your head makes when it comes off.
  • Stick to fighting games in the ARCADES, kid.
  • Don't be ARCH with me, buddy.
  • They call me the ARCHDUKE of assassination!
  • Your story ARCS are all about to come to an abrupt end.
  • I'm so cool, you'd have to go to the ARCTIC to find someone colder!
  • You ARE not going to like this.
  • I will hit you in the head and neck AREA.
  • You need improvement in several AREAS.
  • First a bark, then a bite. ARF.
  • The inside of your skull must be an ARID, barren wasteland.
  • From the smackdown I'm about to give, you'll never ARISE!
  • A new foe has ARISEN, but soon will be interred!
  • I can be pretty violent when the need ARISES.
  • This fight will cost you an ARM and a leg. And also a head.
  • I'm gonna rip off your ARMS and beat you to death with them.
  • You think you can take me? You and what ARMY?
  • The AROMAS of fear and failure coming off of you aren't very pleasant.
  • This'll knock you clear AROUND the world.
  • Would it be ARROGANT of me to say you're a pathetic wretch who has no chance of defeating me, ever?
  • I'll pierce your heart like an ARROW!
  • I'm all out of ARROWS, so how about (a/an) (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword)?
  • Try again when you can tell your ARSE from your elbow!
  • You're as cool as ARSON.
  • There's an ART to ass-kicking, and you're gonna be my masterpiece!
  • You're terrible at fighting. Maybe stick to ARTS and crafts.
  • There isn't going to be anything left of you but ASH.
  • You should be ASHAMED of yourself.
  • I'm gonna burn you to the ground and spit in the ASHES.
  • Step ASIDE, fool.
  • Let me ASK you a question. Does this hurt?
  • Right! You ASKED for it!
  • Don't worry -- if anyone ASKS, I'll tell them you fell down some stairs.
  • I think I fell ASLEEP for a second there. Did I win yet?
  • I'm on the road crew, and I'm kicking your ASPHALT!
  • Do you want to be a henchman your whole life? Don't you ASPIRE to anything greater?
  • I'll knock you ASS over teakettle!
  • You'll end up bleeding in a ditch like all my other ASSAILERS!
  • Take a moment to ASSEMBLE your last words!
  • It'll be hard to ASSESS all the damage this does.
  • Takes one to know one, ASSHOLE!
  • He who ASSUMES he'll beat me in a fight makes an ass out of U and MES!
  • I ASSURE you, it's nothing personal.
  • Rest ASSURED I will defeat you soundly.
  • Ye'll soon be ASTRADDLE a pale mare, ye varlet!
  • When you meet Death ASTRIDE his pale horse, tell him I said hi.
  • Who do you think you are, some kind of space ASTRONAUT?
  • I ATE the last guy who tried to fight me!
  • Ask not for whom the bell ATOLLS, it tolls for thee.
  • There won't be a single ATOM left of you when I'm done!
  • I'll ATOMIZE you, buster.
  • I'm gonna break you down into your component ATOMS.
  • I'm pretty sure it won't be necessary for me to ATONE for this.
  • Have you ATONED for your sins? ...Actually, I don't really care.
  • Lets see how many lumps I can fit ATOP your head.
  • I'm glad you ATTACKED me, so I can claim self-defense.
  • Something tells me your stairwell doesn't go all the way to the ATTIC.
  • Are you sure that's appropriate ATTIRE for your funeral?
  • I'm about to adjust your ATTITUDES!
  • And now I shall create a great chasm ATWEEN thy lungs!
  • I'll knock you into next AUGUST.
  • Should AULD acquaintance have his face kicked in, and auld lang syne?
  • Man even my AUNT could kick your ass.
  • I can tell by your AURA that you're about to be in a lot of pain.
  • I can't beat you up, since you're under the AUSPICES of the assassin's guild. Oh, you're not? Well, then.
  • AVAST, ye scurvy dog! Prepare t'be keelhauled!
  • Welcome to the intersection of My Foot Street and Your Ass AVENUE!
  • I am an AVID enthusiast of violence.
  • You should've tried harder to AVOID this sorry fate.
  • A clever foe AVOIDS my blows. You are not a clever foe.
  • I am going to eradicate you -- this I AVOW!
  • I don't just enjoy beating people up, I've also won several AWARDS at it!
  • I bet you thought you'd get AWAY with this. You thought wrong.
  • I am simply in AWE of what a complete loser you are.
  • The spectators will be AWED by this. Oh, there aren't any spectators?
  • Things have gone AWRY for you.
  • Let me AXE you a question. Ha ha ha.
  • If life is your job, you're about to get AXED.
  • If I were wearing skates, I'd do an AXEL on your face.
  • Not only will I dance on your grave, I'll do triple AXELS!
  • Watch as this attack AXES any hope you had of winning!
  • I'm AXING you a question! Get it? ...Wait, that only works if I have an axe.
  • My victory is an AXIOM of this system.
  • I'll beat you along every possible AXIS.
  • I'm going to break the AXLE off your little red wagon!
  • I'll pound you 'til your wheels fall off your AXLES!
  • I'm about to separate your every neuron from its AXON!
  • This is gonna fry your AXONS and dendrites and stuff.
  • Will I defeat you? AYE.
  • You'll never again gaze upon the AZURE sky!
  • You don't at all remind me of the BABE.
  • I'll hit you, BABY. One more time.
  • This'll knock you flat on your BACK.
  • So where's your boss? Seems like he doesn't have you guys' BACKS.
  • BACON is delicious. Also, take this!
  • I'll slice you like rashers of BACONS!
  • Your day's about to go from BAD to worse.
  • You should've listened when your mother BADE you stay at home today.
  • I'll wear my victory against you as a BADGE of honor!
  • I don't mean to BADGER you, but...
  • I don't need no stinking BADGES!
  • This will end BADLY for you.
  • You'll be leaving this fight in a body BAG!
  • You're as threatening as a stale BAGEL!
  • Let's end this quickly. There are some BAGELS with my name on 'em at the Tavern.
  • You'll be tagged and BAGGED before dinner.
  • They'll be carrying you out of here in BAGS.
  • BAH! Why aren't you dead yet?
  • A BAHT is a unit of currency equal to 100 satangs. Also, die.
  • Your ship is sinking. You'd better BAIL!
  • A smart pilot BAILS out of a crashing plane, but you're still in this fight.
  • In this scenario, you're the BAIT and I'm the switch. Wait, no, you're the butt.
  • I BAITED my hook, and caught the ugliest fish ever.
  • I see you have taken the BAITS in my masterful traps!
  • I'm gonna BAKE you into the world's ugliest pie.
  • You must be BAKED if you think you'll win this fight!
  • Was your father a BAKER? Because I'm about to slice you up.
  • You can say I'm one of the BAKERS, because I'm about to toast your buns!
  • A carpenter builds, a baker BAKES, I beat you up.
  • To say I'm not going to kill you would be a BALD-faced lie.
  • I'm pitching a BALE of pain your way.
  • I'll toss you like I toss BALES of hay.
  • I won't BALK at the notion of clobbering you.
  • If you were more on the BALL, maybe you'd be able to dodge this.
  • I hope you're one of the BALLERS, because you're clearly not a shot-caller or a brawler!
  • You want me to take that rib out for you, so you can kiss your BALLS goodbye?
  • No BALM will soothe this.
  • BAM! SOCK! POW!
  • I'm going to have to BAN you for life, from life.
  • Ah, yes, another enemy to destroy. How jejune. How BANAL.
  • I can't hear you, I have a BANANA in my ear.
  • I'll tell the BAND to play a funeral march for you.
  • You're gonna need a whole lot of BANDAGES for this one.
  • You might have had a long life, but I'm going to be your time BANDIT!
  • You're going to look like a gang of BANDITS took turns beating on you!
  • All of your favorite BANDS suck!
  • Your stupid face is the BANE of my existence.
  • I am the BANES of each of your existences.
  • I'd recommend you BANG your head against a brick wall instead of trying to beat me!
  • You're gonna need longer BANGS to cover the black eye you're about to get.
  • I shall BANISH you to the underworld!
  • I am gonna make the sweetest novelty BANJO out of your skull.
  • Time for you to make a withdrawal from the pain BANK!
  • You'll wash up later on the BANKS of the river!
  • It's been a real BANNER year for violence.
  • You'll wish there were BANS on beat-downs this bad!
  • Enough witty BANTER. Die.
  • They set the BAR pretty low when they made you.
  • I'll beat you like a spoony BARD.
  • The BARDS will sing of my epic victory!
  • Prepare to see your inadequacies laid BARE!
  • I have BARED my teeth and my weapon! Beware!
  • Beware the wolf when it BARES its teeth!
  • Do me a favor and shout 'BARF!' when you go down. I love that bit.
  • I'm about to BARGE into your party.
  • I'll be done with you in time to dump you in one of the garbage BARGES!
  • Looks like your BARK is way worse than your bite.
  • I hear you BARKING, but I don't feel a bite.
  • You couldn't hit the broad side of a BARN.
  • Were you born in a series of BARNS?
  • They call me the BARON of Beatings!
  • This one's for the BARONESS!
  • Hah, I've got you over a BARREL now!
  • Your skull must be as BARREN as... I dunno, a desert or something.
  • You should've been put behind BARS a long time ago.
  • You can't BARTER with the Reaper...
  • If you think you're gonna survive this, you're way off-BASE.
  • Are you ready for some fist-BASED behavioral correction?
  • All your BASES are belong to me.
  • I'll BASH your brains out!
  • Remember that time I BASHED your skull in with a (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword)? That was great.
  • I'll bash you like a BASHER, then have a few rashers of bacon.
  • I'll bash your head in like a sledgehammer BASHES a watermelon!
  • Go ahead and keep sending guys after me. I'll just keep BASHING their heads in.
  • My god, did you never learn the most BASIC principles of fighting?
  • We need to spice up this fight a bit. Try some of this BASIL!
  • I'll spill enough of your blood to fill a BASIN!
  • BASK in my might!
  • You're a terrible fighter. You should take up BASKET weaving!
  • After this slam dunk, they'll be collecting your body parts in BASKETS!
  • You'll be flopping around like a BASS after I'm done with you.
  • When I'm through with you, you'll be glum as a BASSET hound!
  • It's almost too easy to insult you with a word like this, but I don't mind. You BASTARD!
  • I'll BASTE you in blood! Or possibly honey-lime reduction. Scrumptious!
  • I'll leave you BASTED in your own blood!
  • I could kill you with a turkey BASTER!
  • You may think you're a BASTION of hope, but you don't even have a cool grizzled narrator.
  • It's my turn at BAT, and this is going to be a home run!
  • Your death awaits you with BATED breath!
  • Man, you really need a BATH. If you survive this.
  • I'll BATHE in your blood!
  • I'm about to be BATHED in your blood. Then I'll take a shower at home.
  • Ugh! I hope my next opponent at least BATHES every once in a while.
  • Phew. How many BATHS have you taken this year?
  • You've got too many BATS in your belfry. Here, I'll knock some of them out for you.
  • Your BATTERIES are nearly dead.
  • BATTERS up!
  • I'll dispatch you without even BATTING an eye.
  • This BATTLE will be mine.
  • I've survived countless BATTLES! ...Well, I guess I could have counted them.
  • I'm gonna enjoy hearing you BAWL like a little girl.
  • You cannot keep the hounds of defeat at BAY!
  • You should've gone to the BEACH today instead of fighting me.
  • I'll knock every last BEAD of sweat from your brow.
  • There aren't even BEADS of sweat on my brow yet!
  • Soon the vultures will peck you with their BEAKS!
  • There's a mote in your eye. Here, lemme knock it loose with this BEAM.
  • I could kill you with BEAMS of lightning from my eyes if I wanted to.
  • I'm really gonna BEAN you this time.
  • You don't amount to a hill of BEANS, buddy.
  • I hate to have to do this, but I guess everyone's got their cross to BEAR.
  • I've seen scarier things than you in my father's BEARD!
  • My epic victory will be heatedly discussed among guys with big BEARDS!
  • You're going to look like you were mauled by BEARS when I'm through with you!
  • You've unleashed the BEAST in me.
  • When I finish with you, you'll be food for the BEASTS!
  • I am gonna BEAT you so hard, your children will be born bruised. Also you will probably die.
  • You've never been BEATEN like I'm gonna beat you. Promise.
  • Let's play a game: I'll be the BEATER and you be the beat-up!
  • Rock BEATS scissors like I beat your face.
  • You're the BEAVER and I'm the Beaver Cleaver!
  • Why am I beating your ass? Just BECAUSE.
  • The specter of Death is at my BECK and call!
  • I am BECOME death, the destroyer of this bastard.
  • You're gonna end this fight in a hospital BED!
  • How can you sleep when your BEDS are burning? And when I'm about to hit you?
  • You're a real BEE in my bonnet, jerkwad.
  • I've got a real BEEF with you, turkey!
  • I don't have any BEEFS with you, but I'm still gonna turn you into hamburger.
  • This is gonna hurt worse than that time you got your head stuck in a BEEHIVE.
  • You should have BEEN nicer to me.
  • Please leave a message at the BEEP!
  • All the BEER in the world isn't gonna make this feel any better.
  • Let's get this over with so I can go have a few BEERS.
  • I hate you as much as BEES do!
  • Even a vegetable could BEET you senseless!
  • I'll squash you like a BEETLE.
  • Allow me to block-rock you with BEETS!
  • Now you shall see first-hand the fate that BEFALLS my enemies!
  • BEFORE I kill you, I just want to say: no hard feelings?
  • You'll BEG for mercy before I'm done.
  • You BEGAN this fight, but I'm going to end it.
  • My attack BEGETS suffering!
  • Man, you are just BEGGING for a curbstomping.
  • I'll be finished with you before I even BEGIN!
  • Your last breath BEGINS now!
  • BEGONE, foul jerkface!
  • Man, your face just BEGS for me to hit it.
  • The best days of your life are BEHIND you. And by 'best', I mean all of them.
  • BEHOLD! A brand new sucking chest wound!
  • I'm gonna teach you about the unbearable lightness of BEING. Being killed. By me.
  • I do BELIEVE you're the ugliest bastard I've ever fought.
  • Your face is the BELL, my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) is the clapper.
  • Soon you'll be in the BELLIES of the worms!
  • I'm about to ring all of your BELLS at once.
  • Where do you want it -- in the BELLY or the head?
  • This victory does not BELONG to you!
  • Face it, you'll always rank BELOW me!
  • Hold still so I can BELT you one.
  • You're about to get BELTED around the mouth, and possibly mouthed around the belt!
  • Let me get a few BELTS of whiskey in me, then we'll finish this.
  • Your attempts at harming me only BEMUSE me.
  • You're going to be sorry that I know archaic words like BEN!
  • If you do not BEND to my will, you will break!
  • I'm gonna finish this fight, then go on a week-long BENDER.
  • Let's see how far backwards your neck BENDS, shall we?
  • Your bones are about to get a lot more BENDY.
  • Let's find out what lies BENEATH that ridiculous face of yours.
  • Get BENT.
  • I'm not here to BERATE you. I'm here to behead you!
  • Being BERATED isn't enough for you. Only violence will change your ways.
  • I'm not going to be the guy who BERATES you. I'm just going to kill you, instead.
  • BESIDES your other obvious problems, you're also about to be dead.
  • Is that the BEST you can do?
  • I am the best fighter by whom you'll ever be BESTED!
  • If I were you, I wouldn't BET on winning this fight, or even surviving it!
  • All BETS are off.
  • You'd BETTER have some decent loot on you, or I'll be mad.
  • I'm BETTING this is gonna hurt.
  • BETWEEN you and me... you're the one who's gonna get pummeled.
  • I shall plant my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) BETWIXT thine eyes!
  • BEWARE of me. Is what the sign should have said.
  • Be sure to send me a postcard from the Great BEYOND.
  • My data shows a slight BIAS against letting you live.
  • This could get messy -- I should've worn a BIB.
  • Your desperate BID for victory will not pay off!
  • I can BIDE my time no longer -- have at you!
  • The Reaper BIDES his time until he comes for you!
  • BIFF! Bam! Socko!
  • So you think you can take me, BIG man?
  • You know what they say: the BIGGER they are, the harder they hit!
  • I don't mean to be BIGOTED, but I can't allow foes like you to live.
  • Beating you up is as easy as riding a BIKE.
  • I've got the strength of ten BIKERS.
  • I like you, but I don't fight. Let's ride BIKES instead!
  • I'll make you choke on your own BILE!
  • This will knock all the BILES out of your... livers?
  • I'll discard you like so much BILGE.
  • You need to be beaten with something, and my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) fits the BILL.
  • I'll be sure to send you my dry-cleaning BILLS.
  • I'll crumple you up and throw you in the BIN!
  • Even if you managed to BIND me, I'd beat you with no hands!
  • I'll make a BINDER out of your skin!
  • The tie that BINDS us in combat is about to be severed!
  • Get out of my way, I'm on a killing BINGE!
  • BINGO!
  • I'll throw you out with the recycling BINS!
  • All I know about BIOLOGY is which bits to stab.
  • I hear your mother eats like a BIRD: a vulture!
  • Not hitting you is for the BIRDS.
  • You're about to experience the opposite of BIRTH.
  • After this, you'll feel like you've been trampled by a BISON.
  • I'm gonna take you apart BIT by bit.
  • BITCH about it all you want, but your fate is sealed.
  • BITCHES love me 'coz they know that I can rock!
  • Sorry about this, I'm always real BITCHY before I get my coffee.
  • My bark is worse than my BITE. My BITE is still pretty bad, though.
  • If you're gonna be a BITER, you'd better have some spare teeth with you.
  • I dislike BITERS, and you look like one. Take this!
  • This BITES. When do I get to fight someone worth a damn?
  • They're gonna be finding BITS of you in the next county!
  • If you're BITTEN by me, you might turn into a were-badass.
  • You'll find the sting of defeat BITTER on your tongue!
  • I'm in the violence BIZ. Here's my card.
  • I don't have time to BLAB all day. Let's finish this.
  • I'm gonna beat you BLACK and blue. And red, and red, and red.
  • I shall defeat you, then empty my BLADDER on your remains!
  • Soon you will taste my BLADE, or possibly my wand.
  • I don't need a pair of BLADES to beat you. I barely need one.
  • BLAH blah blah whatever. I'm gonna kill you just to make you shut up.
  • BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
  • Don't BLAME yourself. I'm a really good fighter, and you're just . . . not.
  • No one would have BLAMED you for backing out of this fight.
  • Don't worry; no one BLAMES you for losing to me.
  • Your fighting style could use a little spice. Right now, it's as BLAND as a mayonnaise sandwich on white bread.
  • Wipe that BLANK stare off your face. No, wait. I'll do it for you.
  • Allow me to fill in the BLANKS. With pain!
  • This fight has been a BLAST, but I really must be going now.
  • Prepare to be BLASTED.
  • A BLASTEMA is less awesome a thing than it sounds like.
  • They call my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) the BLASTER, on account of how it's about to blast you.
  • Just sit back and relax as this blow BLASTS you into oblivion.
  • You're about to go out in a BLAZE of ignominy.
  • You're about to burn out, and you've never brightly BLAZED.
  • I am the BLAZER, and you are the trail.
  • I'll have to pick which of my BLAZERS to wear to your funeral.
  • What the BLAZES made you think you could beat me?
  • Your future is looking pretty BLEAK.
  • Your prospects just keep getting BLEAKER.
  • You'll BLEAT like a sheep before this is over.
  • You're like a lamb who BLEATS as he's lead to the slaughter!
  • I won't stop until you've BLED out!
  • This is very simple: I hit you, you BLEED.
  • Less talking, more BLEEDING!
  • If it BLEEDS, I can kill it. You bleed, right?
  • Is that ugly BLEMISH on top of your neck actually your head?
  • It appears the gods have chosen to BLESS me this round! Probably because you're terrible at this.
  • Man! That attack BLEW! What were you thinking?
  • I could beat you BLIND folded and handcuffed!
  • Your arrogance BLINDS you to your shortcomings!
  • I'm gonna take you down faster than a hummingbird BLINKS! Or something.
  • You're not even a BLIP on my radar.
  • You're just one of the little BLIPS that have passed across my radar.
  • A nice spring day, and a monster to kill! What BLISS!
  • If ignorance leads to BLISSES, I'll bet you never stop smiling.
  • I'll pop you like a BLISTER!
  • Soon your corpse will BLOAT in the sun!
  • Time to die, you BLOATED, miserable sack of failure!
  • Are you unsure how to attack next? You must have fighter's BLOCK.
  • This is gonna make a great post for my BLOG.
  • You BLOKES are getting right on my tits!
  • I'm gonna punch out all of your BLOOD!
  • I'm about to spill all your BLOODS.
  • You'll be a BLOODY mess when I'm done with you.
  • My fighting skills are coming into full BLOOM!
  • You are a BLOT on the face of this world.
  • You're about to be a series of BLOTS on the ground!
  • This BLOW has your name on it.
  • Get ready to be BLOWN away.
  • I'm sorry our harsh words have come to BLOWS, and that my blow will be this harsh word!
  • This'll hit you like a bolt from the BLUE.
  • You'll be singin' the BLUES after I'm done with you.
  • Here's where I thrash you with a BLUNT object -- your own spine.
  • Let me give you the BLUNTEST assessment of your skills: you don't have any.
  • I hope this attack BLUNTS your weapon!
  • Man, I've killed so many of you guys, you're kind of starting to BLUR together.
  • Have I fought you before? Sorry, it all kind of BLURS together.
  • All that BLUSTER and bravado won't stop me from making short work of you.
  • You're as boorish as a BOAR, and I'm getting bored with this fight.
  • Time to hit you with my BOARD of education!
  • May wild BOARS gnaw at your liver!
  • To say I will win is not a BOAST, but a statement of fact.
  • Fortunately, I won't have to listen to your BOASTS much longer.
  • You shouldn't have rocked the BOAT.
  • Your Viking funeral will require multiple BOATS after I'm done with you.
  • It's hard to BOB for apples with no teeth. You'll find out soon enough.
  • You don't stand a BOBSLED's chance in Jamaica of defeating me.
  • Nice BOD. Mind if I crush it?
  • This doesn't BODE well for you.
  • I'm afraid this BODES ill for you!
  • I'll rip you like a BODICE.
  • Time to add you to the pile of BODIES I've defeated!
  • BODY blow!
  • A thousand years from now, they'll find your corpse in a BOG.
  • My ennui for this fight almost BOGS me down too much to attack. Almost.
  • This fight's outcome shall be excellent for me. For you, BOGUS!
  • Just looking at your face makes my blood BOIL!
  • You fight like a BOILED cabbage!
  • I'll burn the various pieces of your corpse in a number of BOILERS!
  • It BOILS down to this: I'm just better than you.
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) will go BOING as it bounces off of your skull!
  • You may be BOLD, but you sure aren't beautiful.
  • You're BOLDER than I would have expected for such a weird little gimp.
  • You should have worn some sort of enchanted BOLO tie. That would've been awesome.
  • This is gonna hit you like a BOLT from the purple.
  • The horse of your life has BOLTED from the barn of this world.
  • This is coming at you like BOLTS from the blue.
  • This attack is gonna be the BOMB.
  • It's a BONANZA of destruction!
  • I'm going to sever the BOND between your head and your neck.
  • I will break the BONDS that shackle you to this world.
  • I'm gonna break every BONE in your miserable body.
  • I shall call you "fresh fish," because you are thoroughly BONED!
  • Picking a fight with me was a real BONER on your part. Ha ha ha, boner.
  • I hope you're a skeleton, otherwise this joke about BONERS won't really work.
  • I'm gonna break every one of your BONES!
  • If you seriously think you can take me, you'd better put down that BONG.
  • I'll play you like a pair of BONGOS.
  • That BONK you hear? That's me bonking you.
  • You've got a real bee in your BONNET! By which I mean a (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) in your skull.
  • I just do this for the exercise. Any gold you drop is a BONUS.
  • Your BONY arms are no match for my prodigious muscles!
  • BOO! Did I scare you? No? Hmm, guess I'll just kill you, then.
  • Stop acting the BOOB. And stop laughing.
  • You're as useless as BOOBS on a mule!
  • You smell like BOOGERS.
  • I'm throwing the BOOK at you! The pain book!
  • You're in my bad BOOKS, and I'm editing for content!
  • BOOM goes the dynamite!
  • Get ready for the BOOMS!
  • I will dispatch you quickly. That is the only BOON I can grant!
  • I will grant you no BOONS. You shall be defeated!
  • You're an unbearable BOOR, and I'll beat you like an unboarable bear!
  • You're the worst of the uncultured BOORS I've fought!
  • You shall fall to a deafening chorus of BOOS!
  • This should be a nice BOOST to my self-esteem.
  • I hope you have a flashlight, because I'm about to lose my BOOT in your ass.
  • I'll be the BOOTH to your Lincoln!
  • I'm gonna strangle you with your own BOOTLACES. Unless you aren't wearing boots.
  • You're about to get knocked out of your BOOTS.
  • I'm about to kick your BOOTY, then loot it!
  • It would take a whole lot more BOOZE before I found you at all attractive.
  • Excuse me while I BOP you one.
  • Your face is beginning to BORE me. Die already!
  • I'm BORED of fighting you. Time to die!
  • I guess I'd better kill you before I die of BOREDOM.
  • Your face BORES me. I think I'll rearrange it a bit.
  • You could at least fight back so this wouldn't be so BORING.
  • In the words of my Northern ancestors: BORK BORK BORK!
  • After this, you'll wish you had never been BORN.
  • I keep waiting for you to stop talking, but you BORON!
  • I'll bury your body in a BOSK!
  • My fighting prowess is not theoretical, just like the Higgs BOSON!
  • I'm going to kick your ass like a BOSS!
  • I'm gonna unload BOTH barrels on you.
  • Defeating you won't be any BOTHER at all.
  • Your face really BOTHERS me. Do you mind looking the other way while I beat you up?
  • You're out too far on a limb. Time to take your final BOUGH!
  • You're gonna feel like I hurled BOULDERS at you!
  • Don't blame me if the check your mouth just wrote BOUNCES!
  • You were BOUND to meet this sorry fate eventually.
  • My wrath knows no BOUNDS.
  • Your soul shall be BOURNE aloft to heaven, along with your identity!
  • Look, you're going to have to try harder if we're to have a proper BOUT.
  • Pardon me, I'm stricken with BOUTS of uncontrollable violent urges.
  • Time for you to BOW out.
  • This one's gonna BOWL you over.
  • You couldn't be less threatening if you had little pink BOWS in your hair.
  • I'll BOX your ears!
  • When this is over, I'll have BOXED your ears.
  • I shall be the BOXER left standing in this clearing!
  • BOXERS or briefs? Eh, never mind.
  • They're gonna ship your body home in a dozen different BOXES.
  • Your style seems to be a mix of BOXING and falling flat on your face.
  • See, I'm curvy and streamlined. You're just too BOXY to outfight me.
  • You hit like an eight-year-old BOY!
  • BOYS will be boys, and bastards will be corpses.
  • Take this, you BOZO.
  • You're just the latest of all the BOZOS I've beaten!
  • BRACE yourself -- this one's gonna hurt.
  • I hope you've BRACED yourself sufficiently, because here I come!
  • You won't need BRACES after I knock out your teeth!
  • You're boxing way outside of your BRACKET!
  • When you're as good as I am, you don't need to BRAG. The proof is in the beat-down.
  • I'm not the (gal/guy) who BRAGS about (her/his) skills, so I'll say it with violence instead.
  • The BRAID of your life is about to become unplaited!
  • Take the BRAIDS out of your hair, schoolgirl, and fight me!
  • A BRAIL is a leather binding for a hawk's wings. That's not important right now.
  • I'm gonna BRAIN you till you don't have any left.
  • The last guy who took me on got BRAINED with a broadsword!
  • I'd like to introduce your BRAINS to my brawn.
  • If you were truly BRAINY, you would have avoided this fight!
  • I'll BRAISE you like a rack of lamb!
  • If you want any hope of winning this fight, get your foot off the BRAKE!
  • I'm letting off the BRAKES now, to speed you to your finish!
  • I'll leave you with a blockage no BRAN can cure!
  • I shall BRAND the mark of failure upon you!
  • Watch as my weapon BRANDS you like the cow you are!
  • For someone so BRASH, you have very little skill.
  • You must have some BRASS ones to pick a fight with me!
  • I'm gonna beat on the BRAT with my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword). Oh yeah.
  • Until I met you, those BRATS at the tavern were the most disgusting thing I had ever seen.
  • You're pretty BRAVE to attack me like that! ...Wait, I think I meant 'stupid'.
  • I've BRAVED far tougher fights than this. In fact, I've had tougher haircuts than this.
  • You're BRAVER than other goons I've killed, but you sure aren't smarter.
  • He who BRAVES combat with me suffers mightily.
  • I'm amazed you've managed to survive this long! BRAVO!
  • You may have BRAWN, but you're definitely short on brains.
  • I'll make you BRAY like a mule.
  • You'll be dead before the donkey BRAYS!
  • Take this, you BRAZEN cur!
  • You're about to be melted in the BRAZIER of my wrath!
  • Prepare your bulkheads for a hull BREACH!
  • I'm going to knead you like BREAD dough!
  • I'll grind your bones to make a series of BREADS!
  • If you wanna make an omlette, you've gotta BREAK a few faces.
  • These are the BREAKS, buddy.
  • I'll leave you flopping like a BREAM out of water!
  • You'll wish you'd never left your mother's BREAST! I wish I'd never left it, too!
  • ...Huh? Oh, sorry, I got a little distracted thinking about BREASTS. Where were we?
  • I'll fight you to my last BREATH.
  • I guess you were BRED for ugly and stupid, huh?
  • I'll wipe you out before you BREED!
  • Familiarity BREEDS contempt, and you and I are getting pretty familiar!
  • Man, killing you is gonna be a BREEZE.
  • For you, this fight shall not be easy, BREEZY, nor beautiful!
  • I'm gonna BREW you up a nice hot cup of death!
  • This will hurt worse than that time you fell in a BRIAR patch.
  • I'm gonna drop you like a hot BRICK!
  • Hit the BRICKS, dirtbag!
  • I won't take you for a BRIDE, but we will be together 'til your death parts us!
  • You'll be the latest in a long line of BRIDES I've sent to the Lord of the Underworld!
  • I'll leave you crazy and ranting under a BRIDGE!
  • I'm not one to burn BRIDGES... just monsters.
  • You smell like a decade-old BRIE.
  • I'd throw you in the BRIG, but it's already full.
  • Avast, ye scurvy BRIGAND!
  • You look like you've spent time in the BRIGS of various ships.
  • I'll use the BRINE from your tears to make pickled eggs!
  • Are you BRINED? Because you're in a pickle now!
  • You're the pickle, and I'm the BRINER.
  • I hope a tanner BRINES your hide as a warning to others!
  • BRING it on!
  • You stand on the BRINK of destruction!
  • You may have been to some BRINKS before, but I'll push you over the edge!
  • Avast, lubber! I'll send ye to rest in the BRINY depths of the sea!
  • I'll make a charcoal BRIQUET out of your skull.
  • Welcome to the BRIS; I'll be your mohel for the evening.
  • What a nice, BRISK afternoon for a fight.
  • You couldn't hit the BROAD side of a barn, or the barn side of a broad!
  • I'll BROIL you alive!
  • Dealing with you jerks really BROILS my bacon!
  • I once had a vow not to beat up on anyone who didn't stand a chance against me. But I BROKE it!
  • I'll leave you bruised and BROKEN!
  • They call me the pain BROKER.
  • I'll try not to BROOD about how quickly I beat you.
  • You won't live to sire any BROODS!
  • You are the mouse, and I am the BROOM.
  • I won't need any BROOMS to sweep the floor with you!
  • I'm gonna hit you so hard, there'll be nothing left but a thin BROTH!
  • As a fighter, you'd make a pretty good BROTHEL worker.
  • Wanna see what I BROUGHT? It's the pain!
  • Don't furrow your BROW at me...
  • You're on the b-road to BRUIN!
  • I'm gonna turn your entire skin into one giant BRUISE.
  • You'll be BRUISED when this is over.
  • You have too few BRUISES. Let me hook you up with some more.
  • You're not my most hated enemy, but you're about to bear the BRUNT of my anger anyway.
  • You'll take the BRUNTS of all my attacks.
  • Enjoy this BRUSH with greatness -- it'll be your last.
  • This beating will be BRUTAL and swift.
  • Take this, you horrible BRUTE!
  • I've dealt with far scarier BRUTES than you!
  • The BUCK stops here! ...Jerkbag!
  • I hope you picked out a good BUCKET, because you're about to kick it.
  • They'll be carrying you home in BUCKETS.
  • I'll knock the BUCKLE off your hat, Pilgrim.
  • All of your BUCKS stop here.
  • All right, BUD, let's hurry up and settle this.
  • My iron resolve never BUDGES!
  • I hope there's room in your BUDGET for medical expenses.
  • I don't think we're gonna be best BUDS after this.
  • I'm so BUFF this is barely going to take any effort.
  • Go away, kid. You BUG me.
  • You know what really BUGS me? Your face.
  • You can BUILD nothing that I cannot destroy.
  • My fury BUILDS, and soon it will reach a boiling point!
  • Face it, you're just not BUILT to survive this beating!
  • You're a dim BULB.
  • That BULGE is a weapon. I'm not particularly happy to see you.
  • Check out the way my bicep BULGES! Wanna feel it?
  • Check out these BULGING muscles! You don't stand a chance!
  • I provide beatings in BULK and pass the savings on to you!
  • You messed with the BULL, now you're getting the (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • I don't want you to think I'm a BULLY, so I'm gonna beat you up without asking for your lunch money.
  • I'm about to kick your BUM, you bum!
  • This is gonna leave a BUMP on your noggin.
  • Get ready to harvest a BUMPER crop of pain!
  • You're the same as all the other BUMS I've beaten!
  • You couldn't be more dead meat if you were served on a BUN!
  • Defeating you will be as easy as drinking beer from the BUNG of a barrel!
  • You'll wish you hadn't gotten out of your BUNK this morning.
  • I'm gonna tear you up like a hawk does a BUNNY!
  • I'm gonna hit you so hard it'll knock the BUNS out of your grandmother's hair.
  • Anything you pitch at me, I will BUNT right back.
  • You're only hitting BUNTS; I'm going for home runs!
  • Man, I'm famished. Let's finish this, so I can go grab a BURGER.
  • You're gonna need to wear a BURKA to cover all the bruises you're about to get!
  • Get ready for a trip to the BURN ward.
  • You've BURNED your candle at both ends and your time is up!
  • I bet my sick BURNS are hurting even worse than my sword, amirite?
  • You're about to become a BURNT offering!
  • You're gonna last about as long as a BURP in a hurricane.
  • Is there anywhere around here to get a decent BURRITO?
  • I'm gonna BURST your skull like a cheap piñata!
  • I won't stop until your heart BURSTS from your chest!
  • Would you prefer I BURY or cremate you?
  • I'll throw you under the BUS.
  • A (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) in your face is worth two in the BUSH.
  • Let's get down to BUSINESS.
  • I'm gonna BUST your chops.
  • You're about to get BUSTED.
  • Take this, BUSTER.
  • You can call me Keaton, because I'm one of the BUSTERS!
  • No tears will dampen the BUSTS of young maidens when they hear you're gone!
  • Get BUSY livin', or get BUSY dyin'. Preferably the latter.
  • I was going to leave you alone this round, BUT I changed my mind.
  • I am going to kick your BUTT. It's just that simple.
  • This is going to hurt, and you BUTTER believe it.
  • I'll knock the BUTTONS off your waistcoat.
  • If you had two BUTTS, I'd kick both of 'em.
  • Remind me to BUY a wreath for your funeral.
  • Sooner or later, everybody BUYS the farm.
  • BYE bye now -- don't forget to write.
  • How about instead of a CAB, I'll call you an ambulance?
  • I'll toss you like so many CABERS.
  • This is gonna hurt worse than the time you slammed your head in a CABINET door.
  • I'll send a CABLE to your next of kin!
  • I'll hire a couple of CABS to haul the pieces of your corpse away.
  • You're in deep CACA now, buddy.
  • Take this, you CAD!
  • Is there a good CAFE around here? I could really use a cup of coffee.
  • You should never have let this tiger out of its CAGE.
  • I'm going to tear this roof off like two dogs CAGED!
  • Despite all your rages, I keep fools like you in CAGES!
  • You're acting a little CAGEY. Is it because you know you're about to die?
  • You think you're pretty CAGY, but you belong in a zoo!
  • I'll make a CAIRN out of your bones.
  • I will stack CAIRNS over your remains!
  • This'll go through you like a knife through CAKE.
  • You're about to be significantly more blood-CAKED.
  • Sadly, the CAKES are lies!
  • You'd need CALIPERS to measure your worth. Because it is very small, you see.
  • Who are you gonna CALL? A doctor, probably.
  • The afterlife CALLED. They say you're late.
  • You have entertained your last gentleman CALLER.
  • I'm CALLING you out, jerkwad!
  • When duty CALLS, I answer. Duty asked me to kill you.
  • CALM down, buddy -- I just want to kick your ass, that's all.
  • Maybe if you CALMED down a little, we could talk about this like adults!
  • I'll be CALMER once you're deader!
  • Let's see if a severe head wound CALMS you down.
  • Beating you won't burn many CALORIES -- I still need to hit the gym afterwards.
  • I'll take all of your phlogiston and turn it into CALX.
  • I wonder if I can beat you to a CALYPSO beat! Day-o! Daaaay-o!
  • I CAME, I saw you, I attacked you.
  • This is the (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) that broke the CAMEL's back!
  • I'm gonna turn your face into a battleaxe CAMERA!
  • All those beatings you got at CAMP? Those were good practice for today.
  • This is just the beginning of my CAMPAIGN of violence against you.
  • I'm going to pretend I'm a schoolboy and kick your CAN!
  • A man, a plan, a CANAL: a beat-down!
  • This attack is serious as CANCER!
  • I'll send flowers and CANDIES to your next-of-kin!
  • Your brief CANDLE is about to go out.
  • I'll light a few CANDLES to your memory when I'm through with you.
  • I plan to kill you. I mean, you have to admire my CANDOR.
  • This'll be as easy as taking CANDY from a baby.
  • You'll be walking with a CANE when I'm done with you.
  • You'll hurt so bad you'll wish I had merely CANED you!
  • You'll be walking with two CANES after I'm through with you!
  • You're a CANKER on the face of this world.
  • Your reign CANNOT continue.
  • You're up the creek without a CANOE, buddy!
  • They'll collect what's left of you in buckets, jars, and CANS!
  • You seem to have an odd CANT to your gait. Allow me to adjust it!
  • This'll knock the CAP right off your head.
  • I think I'll make a CAPE out of your hairy back skin.
  • I will walk away from here CAPED with your skin!
  • You've perpetrated your last CAPER, swine.
  • Your series of ill-advised CAPERS ends here!
  • The CAPES you wear shall become your shroud!
  • Beat you to a pulp? Why yes, that's a CAPITAL idea!
  • I don't need a CAPO to play a tune on your spine.
  • If this beating were a sentence, it'd be in all CAPS.
  • I'll pack your misshapen skull in a time CAPSULE for future scientists to puzzle over!
  • You're about to feel like you've been hit by a CAR!
  • This beat-down is going to be 18 CARAT gold!
  • If you come talking that trash, I will pull your CARD!
  • Look, just because you keep getting CARDED at the bar, there's no reason to take it out on me.
  • I'm afraid a victory isn't in the CARDS for you!
  • I bludgeon because I CARE.
  • If you really CARED, you'd kill yourself and save me the trouble.
  • Nobody CARES about you. Least of all me.
  • Come, sweet death! One last CARESS!
  • CARGO 'beep beep'. Also, die!
  • Look, I'm long past CARING about your feelings.
  • Man, you guys are creepier than CARNIES. Ugh.
  • I should make up a jaunty CAROL about how ugly you are. That'd be fun.
  • I'll defeat you, then sing some CAROLS.
  • I must confess I CAROUSED with your mother and sister last night.
  • I'll gut you like a CARP!
  • You're about to get a much closer look at the CARPET.
  • Maybe you should calm down. You're getting a little CARRIED away.
  • Your arrogance CARRIES the death penalty!
  • I'm going to turn you into hot CARRION!
  • My style is all stick, no CARROT!
  • I love beating you like a rabbit loves CARROTS.
  • They'll have to CARRY you home after this.
  • This pain train will have more CARS than normal pain trains.
  • They'll be hauling you off in a CART before long.
  • I'll walk away from this fight, but you'll be CARTED off.
  • You're gonna feel like you've been run over by a dozen CARTS!
  • I'll CARVE you like a turkey!
  • My attack CARVES foes like butter!
  • Mi CASA es su tumba.
  • Looks like you're about to come down with a bad CASE of being dead.
  • Soon you'll be CASED in a pine box!
  • We skilled fighters know hopeless CASES when we see them!
  • Your mouth just wrote a check your skills can't CASH.
  • I'll crunch you like a CASHEW! Gesundheit!
  • I'll crunch you like a handful of CASHEWS! Gesundheit!
  • Perhaps I'll empty a CASK of ale after this fight.
  • I hope you've got a nice CASKET picked out, you'll be needing it soon.
  • I'll put you in a full-body CAST!
  • Man, they sent me a talentless rube from central CASTING.
  • I'm about to capture your CASTLE!
  • I'll build little CASTLES out of your bones!
  • All your limbs will be in CASTS after this.
  • How about a game of CAT and mouse? You be the mouse.
  • The next time I see you, it'll be in the CATACOMBS where they bury you.
  • You are the CATALYST in an endothermic pain reaction.
  • I'll play a CATCHY tune on your skull!
  • I shall CATER to your every whim, as long as what you want is to be beaten.
  • I'm gonna save some bits of you to feed to my CATS.
  • All who face me are CATTLE in the slaughterhouse!
  • Were you born with a CAUL? If so, did you see this coming?
  • I'm gonna CAULK up the holes in your face.
  • There's no CAUSE for alarm; I'm just here to kill you.
  • Here comes the CAVALRY.
  • I won't CAVE to your demands.
  • Let's see how pretty you look when I've CAVED in your skull!
  • Time for you to go to the CAVERNS of the underworld!
  • Do all your relatives live in CAVES, or just your mom?
  • You're about to get a few more CAVITIES.
  • Your existence is about to CEASE.
  • I'll still be standing as your heartbeat CEASES!
  • Would you like a CEDAR coffin?
  • Did you hear that crunching noise? Yeah, that wasn't CELERY.
  • I'll take you apart CELL by living cell!
  • You fight like a single CELLED organism, and not even one with cool flagellae.
  • You know what this dull fight needs? Some techno beats and a CELLO.
  • I'll take you apart on a CELLULAR level!
  • I'll grind your bones into CEMENT and make a bridge out of you!
  • I hope the CENSORS don't find out what I'm about to do to you.
  • I'm quite startled that CENSORSHIPS is an acceptable plural!
  • The CENSUS totals are about to be reduced by one.
  • You're not worth one red CENT!
  • I can't decide where to hit you. I'll just go with the CENTER.
  • Your sorry hide won't be worth two CENTS when I'm through with you!
  • I'm gonna knock you into the next CENTURY.
  • Prepare for your CERTAIN doom! Well, fairly certain.
  • I'm making preparations for the CESSATION of your respiration!
  • I be it really CHAFES when people point out how horrible you look.
  • Much to my CHAGRIN, you appear to be alive. What might I do about this?
  • I'm adding you to the CHAIN of fools I've beaten down!
  • After I kill you, you'll wear the CHAINS you forged in life!
  • I'll make a CHAIR out of your bones!
  • You've CHAIRED your last meeting. Assuming you've ever CHAIRED a meeting at all, that is.
  • Let's play musical CHAIRS. When the music stops, I beat you down!
  • Can I borrow some CHALK? I'll need it to draw your outline.
  • Aha! Is this my CHANCE?
  • I don't want to discourage you, but CHANCES are you won't survive this.
  • I'm gonna CHANGE you from a living creature into a dead one. Ready?
  • It used to be you could just kill a goblin without all this talk. Times have CHANGED, I guess.
  • This one's going to be a real game CHANGER!
  • I'm gonna make a few CHANGES to your anatomical structure, okay?
  • Prepare to be singing my victory CHANT!
  • Don't you love that moment when the whole crowd CHANTS your name? Eh, I suppose that's never happened to you.
  • It must be an indescribably baffling CHAOS inside your head.
  • You seem like a decent CHAP, but I'm afraid I can't allow you to live.
  • Maybe this would hurt less if you were wearing CHAPS.
  • You've reached the final CHAPTER, fiend.
  • There won't be anything left of you but teeth and CHAR.
  • I'm gonna serve you your liver with CHARD and a nice béchamel sauce!
  • CHARGE!
  • Yes, Your Honor, guilty as CHARGED -- I did kill a bunch of total douchebags.
  • Don't expect any CHARITY from me, fiend!
  • You're a little short on CHARM, but I guess I won't hold that against you.
  • You must lead a CHARMED life. No, wait, I meant cursed.
  • If you have any CHARMS, rest assured I'm immune to them.
  • It's off to the CHARNEL house with you.
  • My fiery retribution CHARS you to the bone!
  • Do I have to draw you a CHART to explain how you're going to lose?
  • I've CHARTED a course to victory!
  • You're one more stepping stone on my way to the top of the CHARTS!
  • The thrill of the CHASE has faded. Time to finish this!
  • Is this the first time you've CHASED victory only to catch defeat?
  • How about a shot of violence, with a mayhem CHASER.
  • You're someone who CHASES after victory but only catches a beatdown!
  • There is an unbridgable CHASM between your skills and mine! ...Mine are better.
  • I hope you haven't been CHASTE before now, because you're totally screwed!
  • Verily I CHASTEN thee, and hasten thee unto thy end.
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) would like to have a little CHAT with you.
  • The time for CHATS is over.
  • Sorry about the CHEAP shot, but I'm kind of in a hurry.
  • You can't CHEAT death. Here, let me prove it.
  • This fight is gonna be a cinch. I feel kind of CHEATED.
  • Because you are a CHEATER, you shall never prosper.
  • CHEATERS never prosper.
  • How are you not dead yet? You must be CHEATING!
  • Nobody CHEATS death when I'm around!
  • It's nothing personal, I've got gots ta earn that CHEDDAR.
  • Please. I've seen CHEDDARS less cheesy than you.
  • Be of good CHEER! You're going to lose, but at least you'll lose quickly.
  • Your jeers are no match for my CHEERS.
  • When this fight is over, much like the CHEESE I will stand alone.
  • I'm going to eat your liver with an assortment of fine CHEESES!
  • I'm the CHEF here, and I'm cooking up a four-course meal of pain!
  • This is like a game of CHESS -- a kind of CHESS where the players kill each other.
  • I'll open your CHEST like I was searching for treasure!
  • I've seen treasure CHESTS with more personality than you have!
  • CHEW on this!
  • By the end of this fight you'll be CHEWED up and spit out!
  • I'll be the maw that CHEWS you up and spits you out!
  • Welcome to CHEZ Asskick. Table for one?
  • I will gather my CHI and unleash destruction upon you.
  • Do you like my fighting style? I call it Violence CHIC.
  • I'll feed you to the CHICKENS.
  • I hate to be the one who CHIDES you, but honestly, it's like you're not even trying.
  • Easy there, CHIEF.
  • I'm going to beat you like a red-headed step-CHILD!
  • I'm gonna hit you so hard, your CHILDREN will explode!
  • All right, everyone: CHILL!
  • I'm gonna ring your head like a CHIME.
  • Your death knell has alreadyCHIMED!
  • Ask not for whom the CHIMES chime; they chime for thee!
  • CHIN up, tiger -- this'll only hurt until you die.
  • I'll pound you so hard you pop out in CHINA.
  • Your armor is looking a bit CHINKY, my friend!
  • I'll punch you so hard all three of your CHINS will feel it!
  • I'll knock the CHIP off your shoulder.
  • I'll knock the CHIPS off your shoulders!
  • What shall I CHISEL on your tombstone?
  • This CHIT is good for one beating. Redeemable instantly.
  • Okay, enough CHITCHAT. Let's just fight!
  • You're no more significant than a single CHIVE.
  • I'm gonna serve up your carcass with mint jelly and CHIVES!
  • A series of poor CHOICES led you to this sorry fate.
  • Soon you'll hear the singing of the heavenly CHOIR!
  • Soon you'll hear the CHOIRS of angels. Or possibly demons. I don't really care which.
  • CHOKE on this!
  • Forgive me if this hit CHOKES off your last words.
  • I'll cut you into pieces small enough to pose a CHOKING hazard.
  • You may CHOOSE to die quickly or slowly!
  • You are the beggar, and I am the CHOOSER.
  • I'm gonna CHOP you into little bits and use you for fertilizer.
  • You really don't have the CHOPS for this.
  • I'll write a CHORAL ode to your weakness after you're gone!
  • I don't consider it a CHORE to beat you. It's my pleasure!
  • Beating you is just another entry on my list of CHORES!
  • You CHOSE the wrong line of work, buddy.
  • You'll wish you hadn't CHOSEN to fight me!
  • I'm gonna turn you into dog CHOW! Well, not necessarily dog. Maybe some other animal.
  • This'll take some of the CHROME off of you.
  • I've got a can of pain here and I'm about to make you CHUG it!
  • I'll have a few CHUGS of ale after this fight, I think.
  • I'm gonna grind you up into CHUM, chum.
  • I don't think we're gonna be CHUMS after this.
  • I'll knock a CHUNK out of you.
  • I'll rip you into bite-sized CHUNKS.
  • Begone thee hither, vile CHURL!
  • This will really make your stomach CHURN.
  • Ugh, my stomach CHURNS just from looking at you.
  • Down the CHUTE with you.
  • You're not very good at this. Maybe you should stick to CHUTES and Ladders.
  • This is gonna feel like having your head stuck in a CIDER press.
  • I'll knock back a couple of CIDERS after this easy fight.
  • Sometimes a CIGAR is just a CIGAR. Other times it's a blow to the head.
  • I'll pass around CIGARS at your wake!
  • I'll burn you to a CINDER!
  • When I'm done with you, there'll be nothing left but CINDERS!
  • You're gonna be farther underground than arthouse CINEMA!
  • They will show the footage of my victory at all the finest CINEMAS!
  • Future scholars will CITE this as an example of a perfect beating.
  • This will be CITED as one of the greatest knockouts of the decade!
  • My Monster Journal CITES several sources saying you're a total loser.
  • They'll be able to bury you in multiple CITIES after this.
  • You've tormented the CITIZENS of this land for too long.
  • I'll kick your ass all the way to Empire CITY.
  • The CIVETS will gnaw your flesh, in between coffee beans!
  • Here's a move I learned in CIVICS class!
  • I don't think there is a way to settle this in a CIVIL fashion!
  • I'll leave you CLAD in a burial shroud!
  • Your health insurance company's about to get a hefty CLAIM!
  • You mom CLAIMED you were adopted, but you're just as ugly as she is.
  • You've jumped one too many CLAIMS.
  • I'm happy as a CLAM that you're about to lose!
  • My muscles CLAMOR for a good fight!
  • My heart CLAMORS for violence. Who am I to deny it?
  • I think I'll CLAMP your mouth shut. Or just kill you.
  • You'll be sleeping with the CLAMS tonight!
  • Is your entire CLAN as dumb as you?
  • There will be a mighty CLANG when this blow lands.
  • This'll hit you like a CLAP of thunder!
  • I'm so impressed by your skills I'll give you some sarcastic slow CLAPS.
  • This is hardly a CLASH of titans. More like an ant under a boot!
  • I'm about to give you a world CLASS beating.
  • Did you have to take CLASSES for this? Do you have a degree in Henchmanning?
  • Unlike you, I am CLASSY, and I plan to stay that way.
  • I'm gonna CLAW your eyes out and keep pencils in the holes.
  • You'll wish you'd CLAWED your legs off instead of stepping to me!
  • I will defeat you despite your CLAWING and biting.
  • Mess with a lobster, you're gonna get the CLAWS.
  • You've got feet of CLAY and a brain to match.
  • I'm gonna CLEAN your clock!
  • Your clock is about to get CLEANED.
  • I wish I were fighting a CLEANER opponent, but I'll mop the floor with you anyway.
  • You're a rotten, dirty bastard, and I'm taking you to the CLEANERS!
  • Watch as this janitor CLEANS house!
  • Let me be perfectly CLEAR - I'm gonna beat you senseless.
  • You're in luck! There's a CLEARANCE sale on beat-downs!
  • I've CLEARED up some space on my calendar for your defeat.
  • My vision of victory grows ever CLEARER!
  • You are CLEARLY no match for me.
  • I'll be the one left standing when the smoke CLEARS!
  • I'll leave a print on your ass from my CLEAT!
  • I'll be picking bits of you out of my CLEATS after this.
  • Mark my words: I shall CLEAVE you in twain!
  • Prepare to be CLEFT asunder.
  • This one's gonna leave a CLICK in your jaw.
  • I'm the pain provider and you're my CLIENT!
  • I'm a pain merchant, and you're one of my new CLIENTS!
  • I hope you brought a jacket, because I'm going to kick you into the next CLIMATE!
  • Let me know what the CLIMATES are like in the afterlife, will you?
  • You are trying to CLIMB the ladder of victory, but you're missing the arms of skill and passion!
  • Sad how you CLING to the desperate hope of victory.
  • I hope you have your room at the CLINIC pre-booked.
  • There are no CLINICS good enough to cure what's about to ail you.
  • I'll CLIP your wings.
  • I am the scissor that CLIPS the thread of your fate!
  • Your victory is as hard to find as the elusive CLITORIS!
  • Prepare to get a dagger in your CLOAK!
  • You are CLOAKED in weakness, and I am CLOAKED in strength.
  • Now you've made me angry, you insensitive CLOD!
  • Why do you CLODS keep attacking me? Do I smell delicious, or something?
  • There appears to be a CLOG in your skill-pipe!
  • I'll dance on your grave in some jaunty wooden CLOGS!
  • If only we could CLONE you, so others could enjoy such an easy fight!
  • Were you CLONED or something? Because I could swear I've killed you before.
  • I hope you have a bunch of CLONES. You'll need them.
  • This will make a satisfying "CLONK" sound.
  • You won't even come CLOSE to winning!
  • The book of your life is about to get CLOSED.
  • You're not dead yet, but you're CLOSER than you've ever been!
  • Coffee is for CLOSERS. You get a beating, instead.
  • You're about to be a skeleton in somebody's CLOSET.
  • I've CLOSETED my violent urges for long enough.
  • Your skeleton will decorate multiple CLOSETS.
  • You are about to get some CLOSURE.
  • Your blood can't possibly CLOT fast enough to keep up with me.
  • I hope I brought enough CLOTH to use as your shroud.
  • I will CLOTHE myself in victory! And also clothes!
  • I'll knock you straight out of your CLOTHES!
  • This'll knock loose all of your blood CLOTS.
  • I'm gonna turn you into a CLOUD of hazy, bloody mist.
  • Your arrogance CLOUDS your vision!
  • Your future is CLOUDY.
  • I've got the CLOUT to clout you about the head and neck!
  • Would you like a CLOVE cigarette before you're cloven in twain?
  • Tonight you'll dine with pitchfork-holding guy who has CLOVEN hooves!
  • I will make you to lie down in fields of CLOVER. Because you'll be dead.
  • There aren't enough four-leaf CLOVERS in the world to save your hide from me.
  • This fight needs a little seasoning. . . try some of these CLOVES!
  • I hate you like everybody hates a CLOWN.
  • I hate two things. CLOWNS, and you.
  • You CLOY me. I hate being cloyed.
  • I wouldn't join any CLUB that would have you as a member.
  • I'll let all your CLUBS know you won't be at the next meeting. Because you'll be dead.
  • Here's a quarter. Go buy a CLUE. Wait, this isn't a quarter, it's a beating.
  • All signs and CLUES point to you losing this fight!
  • You're no more significant than a CLUMP of dirt.
  • My blade is bright steel and my heart is black COAL!
  • I'm gonna rake you over the COALS, buddy!
  • You are too COARSE and uncouth to abide.
  • Since this fight's going downhill for you, you might as well COAST!
  • You may have COASTED through life up til now, pal, but here's where it gets hard!
  • I'll COAT the ground with your entrails!
  • The ground is about to get COATED in bits of you.
  • I'll paint the ground with your blood! Two COATS!
  • I'll COAX some blood out of you.
  • Now you've done it. You've COAXED the real violence out of me.
  • My attack COAXES victory out of the most stubborn opponent!
  • Don't COB your bob, buddy.
  • I strike like a COBRA! Except I'm not actually venomous.
  • I'm the COCK of the walk!
  • Defeating you will warm the COCKLES of my heart.
  • You're crazy in the COCONUT!
  • You're as clammy as a COD, and I'm gonna kick your ass just for the halibut.
  • My symphony of destruction will end in a CODA of pain!
  • I am bound to a strict CODE of beating up foes like you.
  • I'm not much of a CODER, so this message should be very clear...
  • If you know any cheat CODES, you should use them now.
  • I'll chop you into pieces like CODS!
  • You're nothing but a COG in the machine of evil.
  • The COGS of this world will turn more freely without you.
  • It'll take more than you and your COHORT of numbskulls to stop me!
  • Get ready to shuffle off this mortal COIL, fiend!
  • I'm COILED and ready to strike!
  • You are trapped in the COILS of the boa constrictor that is my fighting prowess!
  • You'll have to COIN a new phrase to describe this level of pain.
  • I've COINED a new word just to describe you: "asspanel"
  • I'm gonna beat you till COINS pop out!
  • If you think you can beat me, you must be on COKE, by which I mean distilled coal.
  • You can have my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) when you pry it from my COLD, dead hands.
  • You may be chilly now, but in the grave you'll be COLDER!
  • Where'd you go to COLLEGE? Stupid Bastards University?
  • I'm gonna turn your COLON into a semicolon.
  • You're an underdeveloped nation and I'm a COLONIAL army!
  • What's your favorite COLOR? Mine's black and blue.
  • You're about to see the world through blood-COLORED glasses.
  • You sure are a COLORFUL cariacature of humanoid life.
  • These COLORS don't run, but soon your blood shall!
  • You're a wild COLT and I'm going to break you!
  • You'll feel like you've been trampled by COLTS after this.
  • I'm gonna hit you so hard your mom will go into a COMA!
  • The bigger they COME, the harder they fall. How big are you?
  • Tragedy is when you hit me. COMEDY is when I kill you.
  • The end COMES for all of us. For you, much sooner than you'd probably like.
  • Ever been hit by a COMET? It feels a lot like this.
  • You'll feel like you got in the way of a comet. No, two COMETS.
  • I'll hit you so hard you won't know if you're COMING or going.
  • Congratulations, I've decided to COMP you a free beating.
  • I hear misery loves COMPANY, so let me give you a few more things to be miserable about.
  • I'm a COMPOSER of pain, and this is my Beatdown Sonata!
  • Hey kid, I'm a COMPUTER! Stop all the downloadin'!
  • Your face is about to be considerably more CONCAVE.
  • I shall place you beneath the CONE of silence!
  • I'll knock the CONES out of your eyes. Then you'll... only be able to see well at night.
  • There aren't any pros to attacking me, but here are a few CONS!
  • I was gonna let you walk out of here alive, but my CONSCIENCE just won't allow it.
  • I'm about to put a few grooves in the CONTOUR of your body!
  • Don't worry. I've got this fight under CONTROL.
  • I'm going to COOK up some delectable deep-dish pain for you!
  • The winner of this fight gets a box of COOKIES. Oh, and to live.
  • I'm COOKING up a fresh pot of pain for you!
  • Too many COOKS spoil... your face!
  • COOL story, bro.
  • It'd be way COOLER if you were dead.
  • I'll have forgotten you before your body COOLS!
  • You are like a COON, in that you eat garbage and I'm going to wear your ass for a hat.
  • COONS are creepy because they have those little hands that they wash their food with. And, um, I'm going to kill you.
  • Your bird of hope has flown the COOP!
  • I bet your lungs are tired of being COOPED up inside that ribcage.
  • I'll knock the hens out of your COOPS!
  • Take this, you crotchety old COOT.
  • You won't be able to COP a plea out of this!
  • Sorry, I just can't COPE with your face.
  • Sometimes I wonder how someone as terrible as you COPES with their obvious problems.
  • I use senseless violence as a COPING mechanism.
  • The COPS won't protect you from this.
  • Don't try to COPY my moves.
  • COR, blimey, this is gonna hurt.
  • I'll dump you into the ocean to become part of the CORAL!
  • I was unaware that CORALS was a proper plural!
  • Time to cut the CORD.
  • You're about to scream your vocal CORDS out!
  • I'm gonna rock you to your CORE!
  • You are the apple of my eye. Prepare to be CORED!
  • You're about as much of a threat to me as a bag of apple CORES!
  • I'll knock the CORK out of your bung!
  • I say guv'nor, this is one bally CORKER of a punch-up!
  • I'll husk you like an ear of CORN!
  • I'll kick you around the CORNER. Bring me back some fudge.
  • I'm done backing you into CORNERS. Now I'm just going to end you.
  • My jokes are CORNIER than yours.
  • I'll hit you so hard it'll knock the CORNS off of your grandmother's feet.
  • This attack may be CORNY, but there's a kernel of pain to it!
  • Hello there, near-future CORPSE!
  • I'm going to add you to my collection of CORPSES.
  • This'll hurt worse than an overtightened CORSET.
  • The damage this deals will be a function of the COSINE of the angle of attack.
  • Your insolence will COST you dearly.
  • The COSTS of messing with me are fatally high!
  • Don't worry; soon you'll be in a nice COSY grave.
  • This'll send you to an infirmary COT.
  • Another pigeon has left the pain-COTE!
  • I don't COTTON to the likes of you.
  • That's a nasty COUGH you have. Prepare for a coffin!
  • Sure, I COULD go easy on you, but what fun would that be?
  • If I were your COUNSELOR, I'd advise you not to fight me!
  • How shall I beat you? Let me COUNT the ways!
  • You'll be dead by the time I've COUNTED to three.
  • Good point. Allow me to COUNTER.
  • It's time to turn the tables and mop the COUNTERS with you!
  • I regret that you have only one ass to kick for my COUNTRY.
  • I'm sure you're thinking about winning this fight. Unfortunately, it's not the thought that COUNTS!
  • I'll knock you into the next COUNTY.
  • Get ready for the COUP-de-grace.
  • All right, I'll just hit you a COUPLE more times and we'll call this a done deal.
  • It takes real COURAGE to mess with me!
  • Is this going to hurt? Of COURSE it is.
  • I'm taking you to COURT! The court of pain!
  • You COURTED disaster. Now it's time to marry it.
  • All the COURTS in the world would acquit me for your murder!
  • You remind me of my COUSIN. I hate that guy.
  • All the witches in their COVENS couldn't give you the power to win this!
  • Maybe you should COVER your eyes, so you don't see what I'm about to do to you.
  • You're ugly, stupid, and... well, I guess that about COVERS it.
  • There are no COVES for you to hide in!
  • How appropriate! You fight like a COW!
  • COWER before my might!
  • When this is over, you'll have COWERED before me.
  • You're like a dog that COWERS in a corner!
  • I'm gonna beat you 'til the COWS come home.
  • Don't be COY; come here and get smacked!
  • Give it a chance, I'm sure your face will COZEN to my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • Your face is about to get COZY with my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • I'll shell you like a CRAB!
  • I guess when I'm feeling CRABBY, I tend to take it out on those around me.
  • I've met CRABS with more personality than you.
  • Ooh, I think I heard one of your ribs CRACK.
  • You're a lot closer to your grave than your CRADLE, at this point.
  • I enjoy both the art and the CRAFT of violence.
  • I'm gonna make your bones into decorative arts and CRAFTS!
  • Listen, babyface, if you were a little CRAGGIER, I might take you seriously.
  • I'll knock the CRAGS out of your brow!
  • I'm gonna CRAM this sword down your throat!
  • Are you gonna be dead soon? I think I'm getting a CRAMP.
  • Are you just a lousy fighter, or do you have bad CRAMPS?
  • Now I'll demonstrate what happens when someone CRAMS a (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) down your throat.
  • My CRANE technique is unstoppable!
  • I'll fold a thousand paper CRANES for your soul after I kill you!
  • No use CRANING your neck to see your future -- you haven't got one.
  • Do you plan to fight for real, or are you just jerkin' my CRANK?
  • I'm about to turn your CRANKS and grind your gears!
  • I'm sorry to be so harsh, but I'm feeling kind of CRANKY lately.
  • I'm gonna beat the CRAP out of you.
  • I'm going to roll the dice and beat the CRAPS out of you!
  • You've had a decent race, but you're about to CRASH!
  • I don't mean to be CRASS, but I'm about to mail you your ass!
  • I'll bash you open like a CRATE of supplies.
  • I'll have your entrails CRATED and mailed to a zoo!
  • There'll be nothing left but a CRATER after this.
  • I'm about to leave some deep CRATERS on your surface!
  • It's gonna take seven separate CRATES to send you home for your funeral.
  • I'm going to use your large intestine as a stylish and amusing CRAVAT.
  • Your destruction is like potato chips: I CRAVE it!
  • As a child, I CRAVED peace. Now it's violence all the way.
  • Have at thee, thou swinish and CRAVEN blackguard!
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) CRAVES your blood! Just kidding, it's me actually.
  • That really sticks in your CRAW, huh? My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword), I mean.
  • You won't walk away from this fight. You won't even CRAWL!
  • You'll be sorry you CRAWLED out from under your rock this morning.
  • The cockroach that CRAWLS on the floor has a better survival chance than you!
  • I'll make you crack and CRAZE like an old window!
  • You must be CRAZED if you think you're gonna take me down.
  • Hula hoops, beating you up -- I'm up on all the latest CRAZES.
  • If you think you can beat me you're CRAZIER than I am!
  • If you think you can beat me you've got a case of the CRAZIES!
  • You're not the best fighter, or the strongest, or the nicest-smelling, but you're definitely the CRAZIEST.
  • If you think you can win this fight, you're CRAZY!
  • I like the way your spine CREAKS when I hit you. It's a good tone.
  • I'm gonna CREAM you like mushroom soup!
  • You're about to get CREAMED.
  • The CREAMS rise to the top, but dregs like you sink!
  • A nice CREAMY pint of ale awaits me after I destroy you!
  • I'm going to fold, spindle, and mutilate you until you've got a CREASE up the middle!
  • Your mother's job was to CREATE your face, mine is to destroy it.
  • You'll wish you had never evolved or were CREATED, depending on your preference!
  • Your very existence CREATES in me the desire to end you!
  • I prefer destroying to CREATING. Allow me to demonstrate.
  • I won't kick you into next week; I'll boot you to the dawn of CREATION!
  • Get ready to say hello to your CREATORS.
  • I'll give you CREDIT -- you're very satisfying to hit.
  • I'd let you get away, but it's against my CREED as an assassin.
  • I'll store your organs in my fishing CREELS!
  • Creepers gonna CREEP.
  • The vines and other CREEPERS will twine around your rib cage!
  • You give me the CREEPS, pal.
  • I'll flatten you like a CREPE.
  • They should add a chicken to your family CREST!
  • What a crummy, crude CRETIN you are to attack me!
  • The CRETINS in my home town are geniuses compared to you!
  • After I defeat you, I'm going after your whole CREW.
  • It'll take two CREWS working overtime to put you together again!
  • You'll be sorry you ever left your CRIB.
  • Perhaps you should go back to the CRIBS you slept in as a child!
  • I think that CRICK in your neck is actually my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • I beat my last opponent until he CRIED. Now it's your turn to weep!
  • When this is done, I'll be celebrating and you'll be the CRIER!
  • I'm gonna beat you 'til your great-grandson CRIES.
  • It must be a CRIME for you to be so ugly.
  • For your CRIMES, I sentence you to death!
  • Your crimes are too CRIMINAL to ignore.
  • This is what we do to CRIMINALS around these parts.
  • I'll dispatch you, then go CRIMP my hair.
  • This one will really make your CRINGE.
  • You're about to experience a little bit of a CRISIS.
  • I wonder what sort of CRITTERS will nest in your lifeless skull?
  • Why don't you make like a frog and CROAK?
  • You should have listened to that CRONE and stayed home today.
  • I've met ancient withered CRONES with better dental hygiene than you.
  • You and your CRONIES are in for a real surprise!
  • No CRONY can save you from your fate.
  • By hook or by CROOK, I'll win this fight!
  • I eat CROOKS like you for breakfast.
  • I'm not here to CROON you a lullaby; I'm here to put you to your final rest!
  • My heart CROONS wistful ballads of violence and retribution.
  • It's time for me to CROP you down to size!
  • I'm gonna water my CROPS with your blood! ...Well, except I'm not a farmer.
  • This'll teach you not to CROSS me!
  • You'll wish you'd never CROSSED me!
  • You're about to get caught in the CROSSFIRE.
  • Perhaps after you are dead, a CROW will escort you to the afterlife!
  • This must be your coronation, coz I'm gonna CROWN you!
  • You've been CROWNED King of the Losers.
  • The victor's CROWNS won't go to you!
  • You'll soon be a feast for the CROWS!
  • You really think a piece of CRUD like you can beat me?
  • Your fighting techniques are CRUDE and amateurish.
  • Is it CRUEL for me to beat you so badly? Oh well.
  • This is gonna leave a CRUISE. I mean... a bruise.
  • Yesterday you CRUISED for a bruising. Today I deliver it.
  • There'll be nothing left of you but CRUMBS.
  • I'm gonna CRUSH you like a frat boy crushes a beer can!
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) is just the CRUST of an entire loaf of violence.
  • You're a CRUSTY old fool and I'm about to slice you like bread.
  • Here's the CRUX of the matter: you just aren't good enough.
  • This situation has multiple CRUXES, but the main one is that you're toast.
  • I'm gonna beat you so hard, your unborn descendants will CRY!
  • I've got a nice cool CRYPT reserved for you!
  • You'll shatter like a CRYSTALLINE vessel!
  • I'm gonna crush you into a tiny CUBE and use you to generate random numbers!
  • You're so square, this attack will be CUBED!
  • I'll cut you into a thousand tiny CUBES.
  • I'm as ferocious as a mother bear protecting her CUBS.
  • It's gonna be hard to chew your CUD without teeth!
  • This is your CUE to fall on the ground in a bloody heap.
  • I'm doing a CULL of dumb thugs, starting with you.
  • I've been looking over my enemies list, and it's time to make some CULLS!
  • Worship at the CULT of my personality!
  • To some CULTS, I am the God of Destruction!
  • I've left many brave warriors stuffed into CULVERTS!
  • Here's a beating-CUM-humiliation that I think all witnesses will enjoy.
  • CUMIN is a delicious spice with a terrible name.
  • I bet you thought I wouldn't know the word CUNT.
  • As if one wasn't too much for you anyway, have some CUNTS!
  • Your CUP runneth over -- with pain!
  • Do not mistake this blow for an arrow from CUPID.
  • You must be pretty deep in your CUPS if you think you can beat me!
  • You are a rabid CUR and I am going to put you down!
  • I'll CURB your enthusiasm for life!
  • There'll be no CURE for this.
  • Relax! Soon I'll have CURED you of your terrible being alive problem.
  • They say a good beating CURES all kinds of ugly.
  • I'm going to whittle your bones into weird little CURIOS.
  • This one will CURL your toes.
  • Do you feel Death's icy fingers CURLED around your heart?
  • You should lift more, bro. Try some CURLS!
  • It won't do you any good to try and CURRY my favor!
  • You will CURSE the day you were born!
  • You are CURSED! Cursed to have your ass kicked by me!
  • CURSES. Foiled again. Is what you'll say in a few minutes.
  • Don't get CURT with me.
  • It's CURTAINS for you!
  • Get ready for a CURVE ball! Or (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword). Or something.
  • Allow me to add some additional CURVES to your spine.
  • How does it feel to be on the CUSP of death?
  • You're an ornery old CUSS, but I'm tougher!
  • I'm preparing a CUSTOM ass-beating, just for you.
  • I'm gonna CUT you down to size!
  • Evil isn't CUTE, no matter what your mother says.
  • If you were CUTER, I wouldn't have to do this.
  • Prepare for the death of a thousand CUTS! Or maybe just one big one!
  • I'll hit you so hard you'll see CYAN instead of green!
  • That's a nasty looking CYST you've got there... oh, sorry, that's your head.
  • I've had CYSTS more charming than you.
  • They call me the CZAR of Czarnage!
  • Did you inherit that face from your DAD? And was he some kind of warthog?
  • I'm gonna DADA you like elastic harpsichord scorpion.
  • A fish, a DADAIST, and the color orange walk into a crematorium.
  • Who is your DADDY, and what does he do? Just kidding, I don't care.
  • I am gonna kick your ass, doo-DAH, doo-dah.
  • I'll watch the footage of your beat-down later, in the DAILIES!
  • Have you had your DAILY dose of pain?
  • Awww. Did I bruise your DAINTY face?
  • You fight like a DAIRY farmer!
  • I'm gonna rock you on the DAIS.
  • You'll be pushing up DAISIES soon.
  • Here's a real DAISY of a punch to make you feel daze-y afterward!
  • Over hill, over DALE, my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) will make you wail.
  • I'll chip away at you and scatter you through the DALES!
  • I'm a beaver, you're a log, and you don't have a DAM chance.
  • This is gonna do some DAMAGE.
  • All of the DAMES in all of the speakeasies in all of the world couldn't give a hill of beans about you!
  • DAMN, this is gonna hurt.
  • You couldn't fight your way out of a DAMP paper bag.
  • The DAMS of violence have collapsed, my friend.
  • You're no DAMSEL, but you're about to experience some distress.
  • I've got a second-DAN belt in (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword)-fu!
  • I'm gonna DANCE a merry jig on your spine!
  • Fighting clearly isn't for you. Perhaps you should have been a DANCER.
  • I shall hire some DANCERS to liven up your funeral!
  • They call my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) "DANCES With Your Face."
  • DANG, I'm gonna enjoy this.
  • I don't think you appreciate the DANGER you're in!
  • Maybe now you understand the DANGERS involved with messing with me.
  • It's off to a DANK mausoleum for you.
  • I DARE you to try and avoid this attack!
  • You'll regret having DARED to step to me!
  • No foe as insignificant as you DARES challenge me!
  • Are you trying to lull me into a false sense of security? How DARING.
  • It'll be a DARK day in the dawnward deserts before I... umm something that means "let you escape" except starting with a D.
  • Your presence will no longer DARKEN this world.
  • You, like all the other DARKENERS of my doorstep, are going down.
  • I'm about to DARN you like a sock!
  • This is gonna hurt like a DART to the eye.
  • All in all, I'd rather be playing DARTS at the tavern.
  • A pinch of battery, an ounce of assault, and a DASH of pain.
  • My analysis of the DATA shows you haven't a chance in hell of beating me.
  • I hope you didn't have a DATE tonight...
  • You're pretty ugly, but frankly I've DATED uglier.
  • What DATES do you have available for a beating? How about today?
  • Your pathetic display of prowess does not DAUNT me in the least!
  • The thought of fighting you DAUNTS me not one whit!
  • This is the DAWN of a new age of pain for you.
  • Man, I could kick your ass all DAY long.
  • You'll be feeling this for DAYS.
  • My considerable battle skills will leave you in a DAZE!
  • It's only natural to be DAZED by my skills!
  • My fighting prowess DAZES everyone!
  • I'll be careful. You'll be DEAD!
  • You're gonna be DEADER than dirt when I'm through here!
  • Are you DEAF? I said die already!
  • Here's the DEAL -- I'm gonna kick your ass.
  • Call me the DEALER, coz I'm cashing in your chips!
  • I'm one of the world's best DEALERS, and you're about to get dealt a handful of pain!
  • It's too late for DEALS. Time to die!
  • This'll be the strongest blow ever DEALT.
  • Just call me the DEAN, 'cause I'm putting you on double-secret probation!
  • The DEANS of the School of Hard Knocks have agreed to admit you.
  • Oh DEAR, that looked particularly painful.
  • Let's be frank, my DEARS: this guy isn't going to win.
  • I must say, DEATH becomes you.
  • A coward dies a thousand DEATHS. Here comes your first one.
  • I hope this attack DEBASES you even more than the last one!
  • Your mouth is writing checks your body can't cash. Let the DEBITS commence!
  • I'm pretty sure I owe you a beating, so let me just pay back that DEBT.
  • It's time you paid your DEBTS to society.
  • You're about to be the latest in my series of DECAPITATIONS.
  • All you'll be able to do soon is DECAY!
  • Should I kill you, or just beat you senseless? I can't DECIDE.
  • I am the DECIDER, and I have decided to defeat you.
  • I'm gonna DECK you.
  • A DEE is a metal ring on your saddle for hanging gear from. Why am I telling you this?
  • This'll be my good DEED for the day!
  • Your dirty DEEDS have just come due.
  • I DEEM you unfit for this world.
  • I would wager even an earthworm DEEMS you unworthy!
  • I'm gonna hit you hard, fast, and DEEP.
  • Stop looking at me like a DEER in headlights!
  • The best offense is a good DEFENSE! Am I right?
  • You'll never be as DEFT as I am.
  • I DEFY you to survive my mighty attacks!
  • I have a graduate DEGREE in Violent Studies.
  • Now would be a good time to get right with whatever DEITY you worship.
  • I'll enjoy watching you slump away DEJECTEDLY!
  • It's time to erase you and DELETE all the backups.
  • I'll slice you into DELI meat!
  • Beating down fools like you always DELIGHTS me!
  • Now for my Super DELUXE attack! It's like the regular attack except I get to say Super Deluxe.
  • Die! I DEMAND for you to die! Hurry up!
  • I don't mean to DEMEAN you. You're just so ugly, it happens automatically.
  • You've earned one DEMERIT too many.
  • I tip my hat in honor of your imminent DEMISE!
  • I'm gonna give you a DEMO of my new bastard-destroying strategy.
  • You're a DEMON and I'm about to get some exorcise!
  • I've defeated my inner DEMONS, and you're next.
  • I regret to inform you that you've been DEMOTED to 'corpse'.
  • You just walked into a lion's DEN, buddy.
  • If you think you stand a chance against me, you're deep in DENIAL.
  • Your DENIALS notwithstanding, you're going to lose!
  • Your request to remain alive has been DENIED.
  • Man, you guys are DENSE. A sensible person would have stopped attacking me by now.
  • Allow me to add another DENT to your skull.
  • I hope you have good DENTAL coverage!
  • Hold still while I put a few more DENTS in your skull.
  • You cannot DENY my fighting prowess.
  • Sorry, mercy isn't my DEPARTMENT.
  • Face it pal -- you're out of your DEPTH.
  • Not to DERAIL this fun conversation, but: die!
  • I've DERAILED the train of your life.
  • I'll bet this DERAILS your train of thought!
  • This will be a DERBY of destruction...
  • Your DESCENT into Hell starts here.
  • I'm going to do things to you you won't be able to DESCRIBE!
  • I'm sure you've done something to DESERVE this.
  • I dropped out of DESIGN school to study fighting.
  • Beating you isn't just necessary; it's an overwhelming DESIRE.
  • This fight will not come to your DESIRED outcome, I fear.
  • I'm a (woman/man) of few DESIRES -- chief among them kicking your ass.
  • Are thou DESIRING of another wound, sirrah?
  • You should've taken that DESK job while you still had the chance.
  • DESPITE your protestations, I will destroy you.
  • Sadly, your DESTINY ends today.
  • I will DESTROY you.
  • I am become Death, DESTROYER of... well... you.
  • I'll be the Devil in your DETAILS.
  • I'm a beat-down bomb and I'm DETONATING now.
  • You're going to need some serious DETOX when this is over.
  • I'll arrest your DEVELOPMENT.
  • Have you ever danced with the DEVIL in the pale moonlight?
  • Tell the DEVIL I said 'hi' when you see him.
  • The DEVILS are sharpening pitchforks for you!
  • I have all the time in the world to DEVOTE to pummeling you.
  • I will DEVOUR your soul.
  • Your blood will mix with the DEW and make some sort of... watery... blood soup.
  • I may not be serious as cancer, but I'm as deadly over time as DIABETES!
  • I'm gonna DIAL it up to 11 for this one.
  • I've set my attack DIALS to eleven!
  • I'll hit you so hard it'll knock the DIAPER off your baby!
  • I could've beaten you when I was still in DIAPERS.
  • I'm not much of a DIARIST, but this is definitely one I'll want to record for posterity.
  • Dear DIARY: Today I killed a total idiot.
  • There's a lot of guys that want to kick your ass, but I called DIBS.
  • Looks like your DICE came up snake eyes.
  • Prepare to be sliced and DICED!
  • This attack slices, DICES and makes Julienne fries! Now how much would you pay?
  • You're in a DICEY situation, my friend.
  • You're a real DICK, you know that?
  • All the Toms, DICKS, and Harrys in town think you're useless!
  • DID you seriously think a dreg like you could beat me?
  • DIE! DIE! DIE!
  • Your story will read: Was born. Met me. DIED.
  • I'll make a deal with you: the first one who DIES loses!
  • You're in for a steady DIET of pain.
  • Your DIETS are nothing but quackery. Take this!
  • Clobber you, bludgeon you. What's the DIF?
  • Did you bring a shovel to DIG your own grave?
  • Someone better call the grave DIGGER!
  • Do you have special instructions for whomever DIGS your grave?
  • I'm gonna DILATE a hole in your chest cavity!
  • You're as DIM as a lantern that's out of oil!
  • Here's a DIME -- call someone who isn't going to beat the hell out of you.
  • I'm gonna pound you so flat, you'll be two-DIMENSIONAL!
  • I hope you've got a couple DIMES for the Ferryman.
  • I'll put an end to your ceaseless DIN.
  • The vultures will DINE on you before today is over.
  • When this is over, you're gonna look like the grease trap in a DINER.
  • You'll be the buffet, and the crows will be the DINERS.
  • The vulture DINES tonight on your entrails!
  • Your might is DINKY compared to mine.
  • I'll beat you to a pulp and be home in time for DINNER!
  • I've kicked more asses in my life than you've had hot DINNERS!
  • Your DIP in the pool of life is about to end.
  • Sheesh, all you guys are such DIPS.
  • Your face is looking pretty DIRE.
  • How's this for DIRECT and to the point?
  • What's that I hear? It's a funeral DIRGE, playing just for you.
  • Don't be sad; I'm sure they'll sing lovely DIRGES at your funeral.
  • I shall defeat you with either DIRK or daring.
  • You're gonna be taking a DIRT nap when I'm done here.
  • None of your DIRTY tricks will avail you!
  • If you think you're going to win, I must respectfully DISAGREE.
  • Phwoo, what happened? Your face is a real DISASTER!
  • Do you always fight this way, or has your spine slipped a DISC?
  • This ain't no party, and it ain't no DISCO, so quit fooling around!
  • Do you suffer from sort of debilitating DISEASE? Like stupiditis?
  • Looks like you can DISH it out, but you can't take it.
  • You're about to slip a DISK.
  • If you weren't such a DIVA, you might have more friends.
  • You'll be so worn out after this attack, you'll need multiple DIVANS to faint onto!
  • Take a DIVE if you want, but I'm gonna stomp you regardless.
  • You're about to meet the Holy DIVER.
  • No holy DIVERS will find a scrap of you in the River Styx!
  • In a little while, I'll watch as a vulture DIVES to feed on your carcass!
  • It would take DIVINE intervention to save you now.
  • Call me DOC, 'cause I'm about to do some impromptu surgery.
  • Perhaps an impromptu lobotomy will render you DOCILE.
  • Your face is the DOCK and my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) is the boat.
  • I hope you know a good DOCTOR. Or a decent mortician.
  • Your best DODGES aren't any help now!
  • When I'm done here, you'll be as extinct as the DODO.
  • You'll be as extinct as a couple of DODOS when I'm done with you.
  • Don't look at me with those DOE eyes.
  • Some are observers, but I am one of the DOERS.
  • What DOES it feel like to lose to someone like me?
  • You're the man now, DOG!
  • Are you gonna bark all day, little DOGGIE, or are you gonna bite?
  • Cry havoc! and let slip the DOGS of war!
  • If we fought at my grandmother's house, your blood would get all over the DOILIES.
  • Why don't you go home and crochet me a DOILY?
  • I'm not sure what you think you're DOING, but it isn't going to end well for you.
  • I'll DOLE out as much punishment as it takes.
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) DOLES out quite the punishment.
  • Do you have a DOLL of yourself, so you can show the doctor where I stabbed you?
  • Go home and play with your DOLLS before you get hurt.
  • Hello, DOLLY! I'm gonna put you in the ground where you belong!
  • Only a DOLT would dare to attack me!
  • You're just like the other DOLTS with delusions of grandeur!
  • This one's gonna knock the chrome off your DOME.
  • I'll knock the chromes off of your DOMES.
  • DON you now your funeral apparel.
  • You're about to DONATE some blood to the ground.
  • You'll be begging for mercy long before I'm DONE!
  • I'm gonna ring your head like a bell. Ding DONG.
  • I don't think I can make the word DONGLE any funnier than it already is.
  • I will ring your head like a bell, resulting in a series of dings and DONGS.
  • I hope you're an organ DONOR, I would hate for them to go to waste.
  • You're about to become one of my many blood DONORS!
  • Are you ready for a Hertz DONUT? Hurts, don't it?
  • It's time to murder the DONUTS!
  • Evil beast, prepare to meet your DOOM!
  • I will be the DOOMS of all your plans.
  • Don't let the DOOR hit your ass on the way out.
  • I'm gonna use you as a DOORMAT.
  • This is the end, my only friend; I'm slamming the DOORS on you!
  • Get ready for the old rope-a-DOPE.
  • I can defeat DOPES like you with one hand tied behind my back.
  • I don't have a clever taunt, so I'll just say you're a total DORK.
  • I'll defeat you, and then the rest of the DORKS like you.
  • So do you guys live in a henchman DORM, or are you just on call?
  • Time for a DOSE of pain, killer.
  • Get ready for several DOSES of pain.
  • Prepare for a DOSING, because I'm going to give you some medicine!
  • I've read the DOSSIER on you. You are really, really evil.
  • Your remains will DOT the landscape!
  • I'm here to beat you, not DOTE on you!
  • Thou wretched villain! Thine noxious odor DOTH offend my sensibilities!
  • Connect the DOTS and you won't see a pretty picture!
  • There is no DOUBT I will win! Ready my bathwater!
  • This'll leave a DOUR expression on your face.
  • I wouldn't DOUSE you if you were on fire. Well, maybe with pee.
  • You'll see only the hawk from me; never the DOVE!
  • This is what it sounds like when DOVES get the crap beaten out of them.
  • Sit DOWN, you bastard!
  • Forgive me if I DOZE off. You're just not that much of a challenge!
  • Sorry, are you still trying to fight me? I DOZED off for a second.
  • I'll chew through you like a DOZEN donuts.
  • I've dispatched DOZENS of foes stronger than you.
  • You fight like you're half asleep. Well, DOZER, meet The Bull!
  • My power DOZES, but it will soon awaken!
  • I'm DOZING off here. Wake me when you learn how to fight.
  • Your attacks are as uninspired as your DRAB personality!
  • This fight is kind of a DRAG. Do you have a boss, or someone more challenging?
  • You should step up your game. You're DRAGON a little.
  • Don't count on smooth sailing in this fight. Here be DRAGONS!
  • Don't you hate it when a one-sided fight just DRAGS on? Let's end this.
  • I will DRAIN your very life's essence!
  • After this fight, you'll be DRAINED of all your energy. Also all of your blood.
  • Watch how my attack DRAINS your life away!
  • In this scenario, you're a female duck and I'm a DRAKE!
  • What sort of flag shall we DRAPE on your coffin? A yellow one?
  • Does your blood match the DRAPES? Let's find out!
  • DRAT, why aren't you dead yet?
  • This blow will almost certainly DRAW blood.
  • You'd be DRAWN and quartered, except I'm granting you no quarter.
  • I'm not the type who DRAWS things out. Let's get it over with!
  • That feeling of DREAD you're having? Totally justified.
  • I'm here to realize your deepest DREADS!
  • I'm gonna hit you so hard you'll think it was a DREAM. Only you won't wake up.
  • You must be DREAMING if you think you can beat me!
  • You think you can beat me? In your DREAMS!
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) is really DREAMY. Here, take a closer look!
  • Your boss must be low on funds, if he's hiring DREGS like you.
  • How would you like me to DRESS for your funeral?
  • Whoo, you are not what I'd call a snappy DRESSER.
  • You've had this coming since the first day you DREW breath.
  • I'll have forgotten you before your blood has DRIED.
  • I'll have forgotten you before your blood spatter DRIES!
  • Come on, you know the DRILL -- I hit you, you fall down.
  • I'm gonna tear through you like diamond-tipped DRILLS through cheese.
  • Man, I'm really working up a thirst. You wanna go get a DRINK after this?
  • Let's finish this fight so I can knock back a couple of DRINKS at the Tavern.
  • It's not long now before your blood starts to DRIP!
  • As the last of your blood DRIPS out of you, you'll regret picking this fight with me.
  • Not only will I send you to the grave, I'll DRIVE the hearse!
  • I can't stand to listen to your DRIVEL any more.
  • I am DRIVEN by a need to kick your ass.
  • I hope this blow DRIVES my point home.
  • Oh, you're supposed to be a worthy opponent? How DROLL.
  • Prepare to be obliterated, mindless DRONE!
  • I squash queen bees and DRONES alike.
  • I'll knock the DROOL right off your chin.
  • The next one of you guys that DROOLS all over me is getting EXTRA-killed.
  • I'm gonna DROP you like a hot potato... a hot pain potato!
  • DROPS of your blood will soon dapple this landscape.
  • I'll discard you like so much DROSS.
  • Just so you know, your face DROVE me to this.
  • Sheesh, you guys are dying in DROVES. Don't you ever give up?
  • Prepare to DROWN in your own sorrow.
  • My anti-DRUG is kicking your ass!
  • You think a scrub like yourself can beat me? Are you on DRUGS?
  • I'm gonna beat your ass like a DRUM!
  • I bet I could make some excellent DRUMS out of your wretched hide.
  • I am DRUNK with power! And also with booze.
  • I'll serve you your heart with a nice DRY white wine.
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) has DUAL purposes -- killing you, and... Wait, I guess it just has one purpose.
  • I DUB thee: Sir Uglyface of Gothisasskickedalot!
  • You can DUCK and cover if you want, but it won't help.
  • I'd say get your DUCKS in a row, but no mere queue of waterfowl will help you.
  • They're gonna need a lot of DUCT tape to patch you up after this.
  • This one is unlikely to be a DUD.
  • What do you even think you're doing? DUDE, seriously, cut it out.
  • If you see your boss, tell him I'm killing his DUDES.
  • The account of your life has come DUE.
  • Is this a joke, or a DUEL?
  • You should know better than to go around getting into DUELS with your betters.
  • Time to pay your DUES.
  • I hate to make you scream solo, but I'm not going to make it a DUET.
  • This isn't one of my best DUETS, that's the fault of my partner, I think.
  • Get off your DUFF and fight me for real!
  • You just DUG your own grave, bucko.
  • Am I gonna kick your ass? Well DUH, of course I am!
  • Let's DUKE it out by the Marquis' rules. I'll have you down for the count.
  • Put up your DUKES, fiend.
  • You're about to feel a DULL pain followed by a sharp one.
  • You don't like having all your teeth smashed in? DULY noted.
  • Wow, even compared to the rest of the guys I've been fighting, you're pretty DUMB.
  • Let's get this over with -- I still need to find somewhere to DUMP your sorry carcass afterward.
  • When it comes to fighting, you're a DUNCE! Go stand in the corner.
  • If the others are DUNCES like you, this is gonna be the easiest quest ever.
  • There won't be enough of your bones left to litter a single DUNE.
  • Your life will be as brief and impermanent as footprints on the DUNES!
  • I've met DUNG beetles with better hygiene than you.
  • I'm gonna make a slam DUNK with your severed head.
  • You can't DUPE me -- you're just a hobo in an ugly costume, aren't you?
  • I'd appreciate it if you could refrain from screaming DURING this beatdown.
  • I will beat you from DUSK to dawn.
  • Ashes to ashes, your face to DUST.
  • Whew, I was afraid my fool-killing skills were getting DUSTY.
  • I feel it is my DUTY to give you a thorough beating.
  • Don't DWELL on this, it's nothing personal.
  • What evil DWELLS in your heart? Let's check!
  • I'll DYE the ground red with your blood...
  • You sure are a DYED-in-the-wool annoyance, aren't you?
  • And... boom goes the DYNAMITE!
  • To EACH his own. His own funeral, that is.
  • I'll leave you to rot, and EAGLES will eat your eyes.
  • I'll box your EAR!
  • I'm the EARL of evisceration!
  • My plan is to beat you EARLY and often.
  • You'll have to do a lot better than that to EARN my respect.
  • I'm gonna hit you 'til your brains run out your EARS!
  • The EASE with which I'm obliterating you is quite surprising.
  • This would be a lot EASIER if you stopped struggling.
  • I'm gonna knock your body EAST and your head west.
  • You got me mad; now I'm not gonna go EASY on you.
  • EAT this.
  • You're boring, and your slideshow EATS!
  • Is there an ECHO in here? Is there an ECHO in here?
  • Sorry, but it simply doesn't make ECONOMIC sense to leave you alive.
  • That's it. You pushed me too close to the EDGE.
  • You may think you're all cool and EDGY, but you're going down like all the other chumps.
  • Let me EDIT you out of this scenario real quick.
  • I'm going to give you an EDUCATION... in pain!
  • You fight like an EEL out of water. What a bad joke you are!
  • You seriously think you can take me? What the EFF?
  • Your EFFORTS are for naught.
  • What, you EGG!
  • If you wanna make an omelet, you've gotta break a few heads. I mean EGGS.
  • The only thing more powerful than my fist is my EGO!
  • You're an incurable EGOIST if you think you're better than me, the best fighter of all time!
  • This world isn't big enough for both of our EGOS.
  • EITHER those curtains go, or I kill you.
  • No matter how ELASTIC you are, you'll not bounce back from this!
  • Are you the ELDEST member of your tribe? Or just the ugliest?
  • Remember to keep your leg ELEVATED after I break it!
  • Your life will be short and hard, like a bodybuilding ELF.
  • I don't kill many people this way, so consider yourself one of the privileged ELITE.
  • I hope you wont think it ELITISM when I say I'm the best.
  • There's no ELIXIR powerful enough to heal the damage I'm about to cause.
  • No physician's ELIXIRS will bring you back from where you're going.
  • Man, what's that smell? Did you just ELLIPSIS?
  • You're an ELM and I'm a Dutch Disease!
  • You're engaged to pain, and soon you'll have ELOPED!
  • This is your last warning: surrender or ELSE!
  • The dying EMBERS of your life cannot light your way to victory!
  • The noxious odor you EMIT is offensive to my nostrils!
  • You won't be receiving any ENCOMIA -- that is, expressions of high praise -- from me!
  • I'll put an END to your nonsense.
  • You'll never ENDANGER the people of this valley again, fiend.
  • We've reached the ENDPOINT of your lifespan!
  • This is how your world ENDS: not with a bang, but with me kicking your ass.
  • You'd be better off having a barbed-wire ENEMA than fighting me!
  • I wonder if you'd be as lame a friend as you are an ENEMY.
  • Man, I think I've had too many ENERGY drinks today.
  • That's no country I ever heard of! Do they speak ENGLISH there?
  • Prepare to be ENGULFED in defeat!
  • ENJOY the refreshing taste of (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword)!
  • Look, I'm not someone who ENJOYS beating up total strangers, but you make it so easy.
  • I've had ENOUGH of your crap. Take this!
  • You'd best wave an ENSIGN of surrender!
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) will ENSURE your swift departure from this plane.
  • Your face is really enticing. It ENTICES me to smash it in.
  • This will be ENTICINGLY painful.
  • I am going to knock your ENTIRE face off.
  • I'm gonna knit your ENTRAILS into a particularly disgusting sweater!
  • I don't ENVY you for what's about to happen...
  • Don't worry, your death will be suitably EPIC.
  • Your fighting style is sadly EPICENE. Oh, like you know what that means, either.
  • I'll hit you so hard it'll give your grandkids EPILEPSY.
  • What do you think of, "a barely average fighter" for your EPITAPH?
  • You're gonna need some EPOXY to stick your spine back together.
  • All things being EQUAL, I think I'll kill you now.
  • Here's some math: my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) plus your face EQUALS ouch.
  • Perhaps you should EQUIP your fighting skills?
  • Your mother EQUIPS you funny!
  • It's time for a new ERA of face-wrecking!
  • Prepare to be ERASED from the chalkboard of life.
  • I like to refer to this weapon as my bastard ERASER.
  • You'll know the meaning of fear ERE this fight is through!
  • It's simple logic: you're an ugly bastard, ERGO, I'm going to beat the crap out of you.
  • This will not be at all EROTIC, unless you are a masochist.
  • Let's finish this quickly -- I've got some ERRANDS to run.
  • I'll show you the ERROR of your ways.
  • There's no ESCAPE from your fate!
  • The last foe that ESCAPED from me had to leave his face behind!
  • No villain ESCAPES my wrath.
  • If you were thinking about ESCAPING, I'll give you one chance.
  • Allow me to ESCORT you to the afterlife!
  • I have to say, destroying you has been ESPECIALLY satisfying.
  • Get ready for an ETERNITY of torment.
  • I shall compose a series of ETUDES to your memory.
  • Your EULOGY will be short and depressing.
  • You couldn't EVADE my attacks even if you had twice as many legs!
  • No foe EVADES my attack!
  • EVASION is pointless. My aim is too good!
  • This is the EVE of your destruction.
  • You won't EVEN know what hit you.
  • I'm just getting warmed up for the main EVENT!
  • And now for current EVENTS: you're getting your butt kicked.
  • EVER taste your own liver? Because you're about to.
  • My fists itch EVERY time I look at you.
  • EVERYTHING about you makes me want to kick your ass.
  • I'm afraid I have to EVICT you. From your skin.
  • I shall suffer no EVIL, and you, my friend, are pure EVIL.
  • Given the choice between killing you or letting you live, I've picked the lesser of two EVILS.
  • I don't know the EXACT number of teeth I'm about to knock out of you, but I know it's a lot.
  • I'm going to cut you into EXACTLY twelve pieces.
  • Let me show you how a hero EXACTS revenge.
  • I will EXALT in my utter defeat of you!
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) EXALTS in the glory of combat! Woo-hoo!
  • You're about to fail your final EXAM!
  • I think a few of your life choices may need to be re-EXAMINED.
  • The coroner's gonna wonder what the hell happened, when he EXAMINES you.
  • I'm gonna make an EXAMPLE of you.
  • If you had done better on your EXAMS, you could've avoided this sorry fate.
  • Wow, you really EXCEL at taking a hit.
  • You may have EXCELLED in the past, but your past is about to be surpassed!
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) EXCELS at dispatching foes like you.
  • I like everything about you, EXCEPT your face, and the fact that you're alive.
  • Time for me to EXCISE that cancer called life from you!
  • Few things EXCITE me like smiting evil. You're evil, right?
  • I'm EXCITED for this fight to finally be over!
  • It really EXCITES me to think I won't have to look at your face any more.
  • This fight is about to get EXCITING.
  • There's no EXCUSE for that kind of behavior. But I'm doing it anyway.
  • No, you may not be EXCUSED from the fight!
  • I barely have to EXERT myself to beat you!
  • The EXERTION of battling you is quite exhilarating.
  • If you think this beating is bad, you should meet my EXES.
  • I'll kill you, bury you, EXHUME you, and kill you again.
  • I'm gonna send all of your bones into EXILE!
  • Prepare to be EXILED from the world!
  • My might EXILES you to a land of sorrow and pain.
  • Soon, you will cease to EXIST! Because, you know, I'll have killed you.
  • I'm gonna hit you so hard, it'll be like you never EXISTED.
  • Your pointless EXISTENCE is about to end.
  • Right, it's time for you to stop EXISTING now.
  • I suspect that your face only EXISTS for me to smash in.
  • Allow me to escort you to your final EXIT!
  • Ladies and gentlemen, the nameless scumbag has EXITED the building!
  • Listen to your blood as it EXITS your body.
  • Man, it looks like your blood is having a full-on EXODUS.
  • I'll beat you like an EXON beats a peasant.
  • Your destruction is going to be both novel and EXOTIC.
  • 9 out of 10 EXPERTS agree -- I'm about to kick your ass.
  • I could EXPLAIN how I'm going to kill you, but it'll be faster to just show you.
  • You were dropped on your head as a child? That EXPLAINS it.
  • All aboard the EXPRESS train to Paintown!
  • Your life EXTENDS no further than this moment!
  • The poets will EXTOLL my virtues after this fight is over.
  • I won't stop until every defeated corpse EXTOLS my virtue!
  • It looks like you have some EXTRA ribs. Let me take care of that for you.
  • You may think you're the protagonist of this play, but you're not even one of the EXTRAS!
  • See how my attack EXUDES confidence!
  • If I put this (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) in your EYE, would that offend you?
  • Yeah, I saw how you EYED my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword). Wanna see it up close?
  • Here, let me uncross your EYES for you.
  • People are gonna tell their kids FABLES about this fight! The moral will be: don't mess with me.
  • I've got a match: My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) and your FACE.
  • When FACED with something as ugly as you, my first instinct is to kill it. Hasn't steered me wrong yet.
  • I wish you had more FACES, so I could keep smashing them.
  • I'll make you experience every FACET of pain imaginable!
  • You're FACING a hero, jerkwad! You're going down!
  • Here's an interesting FACT -- this is gonna hurt. A lot.
  • You didn't FACTOR the fact that I'm the hero into your plan, did you?
  • You should have FACTORED in your complete lack of skill!
  • These are the FACTS: I rock, and you're dead.
  • My violent tendencies are no FAD -- they're here to stay!
  • Already your will to fight begins to FADE!
  • I'll still be standing as your vision FADES to black!
  • 'FAG' is another word for 'cigarette'.
  • This fight is making me extremely tired, or as a foreigner might say, "FAGGED".
  • I'm gonna split this FAGGOT up and hit you with every stick!
  • Spare a quid for a packet o' FAGS, guvnor?
  • You're so full of FAIL, it isn't even funny.
  • You have FAILED to impress me. Take this!
  • Your posturing FAILS to impress me.
  • As a fighter you're a FAILURE. But as a punching bag, you're great!
  • Since you obviously want a broken skull, I FAIN would oblige you.
  • Try not to FAINT before I actually hit you!
  • I hit the last guy so hard that his great-uncle FAINTED!
  • You smell FAINTLY of raw onions and cheese.
  • I hope you're not one who FAINTS at the sight of blood, 'cause you're about to see some of yours.
  • All's FAIR in love and beating the hell out of you.
  • Perhaps I should tie one hand behind me to make this fight FAIRER?
  • I'm FAIRLY certain that this is the end for you.
  • You ought to be exhibited in the freak show at county FAIRS!
  • Not even a FAIRY in a bottle will bring you back to life!
  • If you have FAITH you're going to beat me, prepare to become an atheist!
  • This isn't some FAKE beating I'm giving you, it's the real deal.
  • All of your courageous airs are FAKES!
  • Pride goeth before a FALL, and you're looking pretty proud right now.
  • Prepare to join the ranks of the FALLEN.
  • Don't hold out any FALSE hope of winning!
  • FAME! I'm gonna live forever. You're gonna live about another five minutes.
  • You've terrorized the FAMILIES of this valley for long enough.
  • Is your entire FAMILY as ugly as you? I'm just wondering.
  • Have their been some FAMINES where you're from? You're pretty scrawny.
  • I call my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) Sean, because it's so FAMOUS.
  • I'm a huge FAN of yours! Can you autograph my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword)?
  • Let's see how FANCY you are with your guts on the floor!
  • I've got a FANG, and I plan to use it!
  • Let's see how bad your bite is when I pull those FANGS of yours!
  • This one's for my FANS.
  • So FAR, you haven't impressed me much.
  • This fight is a FARCE, and I'm about to end it.
  • You won't FARE well in this fight.
  • If you had trained harder, you'd have FARED better.
  • Let's see how your face FARES against this blow.
  • FARINA is a delicious grain. Take this!
  • Did you decide which FARM you're going to buy?
  • You're gonna be a candidate for the Bone FARMS!
  • Have you read Sun Tzu's 'The FART of War?' I have.
  • I have FARTED things more terrifying than you!
  • Are you attacking, or just FARTING around?
  • Does it smell like FARTS in here, or is it just you?
  • I hope bruises are in FASHION whereever you live.
  • This'll be over FAST.
  • You lack energy. You probably shouldn't have FASTED before the fight!
  • FASTEN your seatbelt -- this is going to be a bumpy ride.
  • You're going down FASTER than your mother does.
  • You just earned yourself a FAT lip, buddy.
  • For you, this encounter will be FATAL.
  • Are you prepared to face your FATE?
  • Don't feel too badly. You were FATED to lose.
  • The FATES have decreed that I will be the victor!
  • Your FATHER must be pretty ashamed of how you turned out.
  • Take this, FATTY.
  • This is your own FAULT, you know.
  • You're nothing more than a collection of FAULTS.
  • I'm gonna show you some real pain, not that FAUX pain you're used to.
  • Do me a FAVOR and sit the hell down, will you?
  • You aren't doing yourself any FAVORS by trying to fight me.
  • I almost feel bad for hitting a helpless FAWN like you.
  • You want me to FAX it to you? Are you serious?
  • Let's get this over with -- somebody just FAXED me some apple juice and I'm really thirsty.
  • Once FAXES are invented, I'm telling all my coworkers about this fight.
  • Your puny attacks won't FAZE me!
  • I'm not FAZED in the slightest by your attempts to beat me!
  • A blow from the likes of you rarely even FAZES me.
  • I'm gonna put the FEAR into you. The fear of me.
  • This beating will be worse than you FEARED.
  • I am the embodiment of your darkest FEARS!
  • May the hounds of hell FEAST upon your entrails! Jerk!
  • I won't say I'll be FEASTING on your entrails, because that's super gross. Something like that, though.
  • You will provide FEASTS for countless worms.
  • Getting your blood out of my clothes is gonna be no mean FEAT.
  • I have performed many heroic FEATS. Defeating you will prove no challenge.
  • Your head is full of FECES! So there!
  • Let's see how you like being FED your own teeth.
  • Citizen's arrest! It's a FEDERAL crime to be that ugly!
  • You're lucky I don't charge a FEE for skull-cracking services.
  • I've had some FEEBLE enemies, but you couldn't even lift the cake.
  • I'm gonna FEED the worms with your sorry carcass.
  • Your terrible douchiness just FEEDS my anger.
  • This probably won't FEEL good.
  • You'll have to let me know how losing this badly FEELS!
  • This is gonna knock you 50 FEET into the air.
  • You could at least try a dodge, or a FEINT, or something.
  • All the FELINES in town will come chew on your remains!
  • Hah! You FELL right into my trap!
  • FELLATIO is not a suitable topic for a family-friendly game, so suck on this!
  • Nice shirt. Is it FELT?
  • I'm going to beat you to death with your own FEMUR.
  • Should I kill you, or just seriously injure you? I'm kind of on the FENCE.
  • Good FENCES make good bludgeons.
  • Try to FEND this one off!
  • Oh FER cryin' out loud, will you just die already?
  • I'm as wild as a FERAL dog!
  • A red FERN will grow atop your grave.
  • Beautiful FERNS will grow on your grave.
  • It's gonna be a real gore FEST in here.
  • Better put something on that wound before it starts to FESTER.
  • You smell like month-old FETA.
  • You can curl up in a FETAL position if you want. It won't help, though.
  • When I'm done here, we'll have a FETE to celebrate your funeral.
  • I'd better kill you before your FETID breath knocks me unconsious.
  • This FEUD will be over soon.
  • I've got a FEVER and the only cure is more beating you up!
  • You'll only have a FEW teeth left after this.
  • If you survive this attack, I doff my FEZ to you!
  • It would be a FIB to say you stand a chance!
  • I'd say I felt bad about this, but I don't want to be a FIBBER.
  • You're about to be buried in Potter's FIELD!
  • Which of the pauper's FIELDS do you suppose they'll bury you in?
  • My assault is too FIERCE for you to handle.
  • I will strike you down with FIERY vengeance.
  • I don't give a FIG what you want, you're getting a beating.
  • This is likely to be your last FIGHT, so you better enjoy it.
  • I'm here to kick your butt and eat FIGS. Guess what I'm all out of.
  • I'll twist your guts into a FIGURE eight!
  • I'll FILE you under "opponents I defeated easily".
  • You're gonna be FILED under "F.U." ...It stands for "Filed Under".
  • I'll put you under L for Loser in my FILES!
  • I'm gonna FILL you with candy and use you for a piñata.
  • Enemy defeated. FILM at eleven.
  • You're covered in the FILMY residue of failure!
  • Time to clean up the FILTH.
  • You mess with the shark, you're gonna get the FIN.
  • This will be the FINAL act in your story.
  • They're gonna FIND your teeth in the next county.
  • Is this your spleen? Sorry, FINDERS keepers.
  • Am I the only one who FINDS your attempts to hurt me amusing?
  • Not to put too FINE a point on it, you're terrible at this.
  • You're about to be FINED for your crimes, in the amount of one life.
  • Ah, what could be FINER than a nice spring day and an ugly monster to kill?
  • You know, this country has FINES for being that ugly.
  • Get ready to lose a FINGER.
  • How many FINGERS am I holding up?
  • I'll steal the FINIALS from your lamps after I put out your lights!
  • Let's FINISH this.
  • Life is FINITE. Yours especially.
  • You no good dirty rat FINK. Take this!
  • You're about to have more bruises than a fish has FINS.
  • This'll light a FIRE under you.
  • You're FIRED.
  • Let's light the FIRES and kick the tires, by which I mean your ass.
  • I am FIRMLY against letting you leave here alive.
  • They'll bury you amongst the pines and FIRS!
  • I may not be the FIRST to fight you, but I shall be the last!
  • This'll be like shooting FISH in a barrel!
  • I've got a match: My FIST and your face.
  • You won't be so sassy once I've FISTED you! ...Wait, I think I mean 'punched'.
  • I could beat you with one of my FISTS tied behind my back!
  • You'll be FIT to be tied after this.
  • Well, if the (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) FITS...
  • You want to take a break? Sure, take FIVE! By which I mean five breaks. And it's your bones that will be broken. Crap, am I over-explaining?
  • I'll give myself some high FIVES after beating you!
  • I am gonna FIX your wagon, buddy.
  • This fight isn't FIXED, so there's no way you can beat me!
  • Man, your face is a real FIXER-upper.
  • Your face is the problem, and people like me are the FIXERS.
  • Let's hope this FIXES your "walking around breathing" problem!
  • It's too late to wave a white FLAG!
  • They'll be flying the FLAGS at half mast for you...
  • I will attack you with FLAIR and gusto!
  • I've picked scarier things than you out of my breakfast FLAKES!
  • Like a moth drawn to a FLAME, you're about to get burned.
  • You're going down in FLAMES! Oh, the humanity!
  • I do so love FLAN! I think better when I eat it!
  • You're about to make my temper FLARE up!
  • My eyes are wide, my nostrils are FLARED, and you're doomed!
  • You're less of a threat than when my asthma FLARES up!
  • I'm gonna knock you FLAT as a pancake!
  • Try not to gag on the bitter FLAVOR of defeat!
  • It seems that there's a fatal FLAW in your plan.
  • Ten tons of FLAX!
  • I'll FLAY the skin from your bones!
  • A FLEA would draw more blood than you!
  • I'll knock the FLEAS from your mangy hide.
  • Soon, you'll be wishing you'd FLED when you had the chance!
  • Don't try to FLEE -- just take your punishment.
  • If only you were quicker of mind and more FLEET of foot, you might stand a chance.
  • I'll flay the FLESH from your bones.
  • I just FLEW in from Paramount City, and boy am I gonna kick your ass.
  • I will dispatch you, and then FLEX my muscles to impress any onlookers that may arrive.
  • Is that a FLICKER of intelligence in your eyes? Hmm, maybe it was just gas.
  • Time FLIES when I'm beating you senseless.
  • I shall summon the flames of your defeat with neither FLINT nor tinder!
  • I shall gaze at you FLINTILY as I beat you handily!
  • You may think you're destined to win, but I'm about to FLIP that script!
  • Are you going to fight, or just do FLIPS?
  • We all FLOAT down here!
  • Violence really FLOATS my boat.
  • I'll FLOG you like a dolphin. I HATE dolphins.
  • You're about to get inundated by a FLOOD of pain.
  • Your new nickname is 'Mop', 'cause I'm gonna wipe the FLOOR with you.
  • I'm gonna wipe all the FLOORS with you!
  • Did you remember to FLOSS this morning, or will the mortician have to do it for you later?
  • I'll crush your bones into FLOUR! ...Wait, that's a terrible idea. Bleah.
  • Your blood will FLOW like wine.
  • Perhaps a FLOWER will grow on your grave.
  • What kind of FLOWERS would you like on your grave?
  • Looking at you is worse than having the FLU.
  • If you survive this, it'll be a real FLUKE.
  • I'll make a FLUTE out of your legbone!
  • Your FLY is open! Just kidding.
  • I'm a stallion and you're barely a FOAL!
  • If it weren't for the lack of FOAM, I'd assume you were a rabid dog.
  • You're like a rabid dog who FOAMS at the mouth!
  • You're such a boring fighter I can barely FOCUS on beating you!
  • You're not a worthy FOE, but you'll have to do.
  • Of all my dumbest and ugliest FOES, you're one of them.
  • The FOG of war is upon me. Have at you!
  • You won't live to be an old FOGY.
  • FOH is a real word? Faugh!
  • This'll hurt worse than chewing on tin FOIL!
  • Your plans are about to get FOILED.
  • I'm sorry if my victory FOILS all of your plans!
  • I'll FOLD you in half!
  • I'm about to knock the FOLDS out of your garments.
  • The FOLEY guys are gonna need a lot of celery to make this sound-effect.
  • I've fought FOLIAGE more tough than you!
  • FOLK music calms some people, but it gets me in the mood for violence.
  • That's all, FOLKS.
  • I am not FOND of you. In fact, I am quite the opposite.
  • I bet your funeral notice will use all the ugliest FONTS.
  • You're gonna be worm FOOD when I'm done with you.
  • What makes you so evil? Is it the FOODS you eat?
  • A FOOL and his life are soon parted.
  • Don't be FOOLED by my pretty face -- I really am going to kill you.
  • Shall I add you to the list of FOOLS I've defeated?
  • Let's see you dodge around with my FOOT jammed up your ass.
  • This one's FOR the ladies.
  • I FORBID you from remaining alive.
  • Allow me to FORCE the issue.
  • Sorry, but the situation has FORCED my hand.
  • I'm sorry, but your ugliness FORCES me to do this.
  • After this fight, I'll have to FORD a river of your blood.
  • FORE!
  • The concept of mercy is FOREIGN to me.
  • You're missing the FOREST for the trees.
  • I'll melt you in the FORGE of my prowess!
  • I'm going to beat you until you FORGET how to walk.
  • Sorry, I FORGOT to not kill you.
  • I'd almost FORGOTTEN how good it feels to pound an idiot into the ground.
  • This will hurt worse than a FORK in the eye.
  • I tire of your face and this fight. Let's stick FORKS in both, shall we?
  • FORM of... an ass-kicking adventurer!
  • I bet I could make a pretty sweet FORT out of your bones.
  • You should have stuck to building pillow FORTS in your mom's living room.
  • Looks like it was your bad FORTUNE to run into me today!
  • You'll be quite the unusual FOSSIL for future archaeologists to ponder.
  • Your behavior FOSTERS a lot of resentment.
  • I should've recognized your FOUL stench when I arrived.
  • You've committed so many FOULS, I'm calling you out! Or going on strike.
  • I FOUND a bunch of teeth stuck to my boot, are they yours?
  • Jeez, you sure are a FOUNT of endless ineptitude.
  • There... are... FOUR... lights!
  • I'm not going to tell you this a FOURTH time.
  • You'll have to get up pretty early to out-FOX me!
  • Prepare to be out-classed, out-fought, and out-FOXED!
  • The fleetest of FOXES couldn't outrun me!
  • There may be wilier fighters than I, but few are FOXIER.
  • Not only am I a better fighter than you, I'm FOXY, too!
  • Ach, I'll tear ye limb FRAE limb!
  • You are pasty and FRAIL compared to me.
  • I'm gonna knock you out of FRAME like an antique comic-strip foil!
  • I could keep pictures of your embarrassing beat-down in a series of FRAMES!
  • FRANKLY, this is going to hurt a great deal.
  • My patience with you is beginning to FRAY.
  • Take this, you FREAK!
  • The truth will set you FREE... and I'm going to set your gall-bladder free.
  • Pardon my FRENCH, but en garde!
  • You've got a lot of old scars there. Let me give you some FRESH ones.
  • Don't FRET, it'll all be over soon.
  • You're gonna be FRIED when this is over.
  • I wonder if you'd be as lame a FRIEND as you are a fighter.
  • It's hard to make FRIENDS with someone you've just beaten the crap out of, so I'm not gonna try.
  • Would you like FRIES with your gruesome beating?
  • Ha! You don't FRIGHTEN me! You just disgust me!
  • Got a FROG in your throat? Let me get that for you.
  • I've met FROGS with better romantic prospects than you.
  • I'm gonna kick your ass FROM here to Empire City!
  • I do tend to FRONT a lot, but I can back it up.
  • Let's end this before the ground FROSTS over beneath us, okay?
  • Fortune FROWNS on you this day.
  • I thought you were going to beat me until you FROZE up.
  • Prepare to have your assets FROZEN! So to speak.
  • I'll discard you like so much rotten FRUIT.
  • Prepare to harvest the FRUITS of your insolence!
  • You're nothing but a small FRY.
  • Hey, monster! FUCK you! Ha ha ha ha wooooo!
  • I'm allowed to say that? Are you FUCKING kidding me?
  • Your pathetic attacks only FUEL my rage!
  • A drive for justice FUELS my violence.
  • I'm gonna fill you FULL of pain like a big pain... duffelbag!
  • There won't even be a FUME left when I'm through with you!
  • My tank is full and you're running on FUMES!
  • All right, enough FUN. Let's finish this.
  • This never would have happened if you hadn't squandered your parents' college FUND.
  • I'm going to deplete you like my FUNDS!
  • I'll get rid of you like I got rid of that toe FUNGUS I had last year.
  • I'm bringing both the noise and the FUNK!
  • This one will leave you walking FUNNY.
  • This'll knock the FUR off of your boots.
  • Feel my FURY as I nick you like a howling commando!
  • I've got a short FUSE, and you just lit it.
  • Of all the world's FUSES, mine is probably the shortest.
  • Look, I don't see what all the FUSS is about. I'm just killing you, that's all!
  • Don't be FUSSY -- it's time to take your medicine.
  • Your efforts to survive this fight are FUTILE.
  • The FUTURE is gonna be a lot nicer without you there to spoil it.
  • I can't sit around and GAB all day. Have at you!
  • Just looking at you makes me GAG!
  • No pain, no GAIN!
  • Nothing slaughtered, nothing GAINED!
  • There'll be no GAINS for you. Only pain!
  • You'll walk with a weird GAIT after this fight.
  • You'll walk with a variety of weird GAITS when this is over.
  • This is not what I'd call a GALA affair.
  • The winds of change are reaching GALE force now!
  • I'll blow you over like a series of strong GALES!
  • I can't believe you had the GALL to attack me! Or the guts!
  • I would let you hit me, but such GALLANTRY would only give you the wrong idea.
  • I should have worn GALOSHES, you're getting blood all over my nice shoes.
  • This is a real GAMBLE you're taking, and I don't think much of your chances.
  • You may be a GAMBLER, but now is the time to walk away or run!
  • This is no GAME. This is serious business!
  • You've GAMED the system for long enough.
  • I'll pwn you like a GAMER frags a noob!
  • I polled a bunch of GAMERS, and you got 84 percent of the vote for Dumbest Mob Ever.
  • I'm through playing GAMES with you. Take this!
  • Phew, you're smelling a bit GAMEY there, pal.
  • If you guys would GANG up on me instead of attacking singly, you might have a chance.
  • You'll want to put a tourniquet on when I'm done here, to avoid GANGRENE.
  • I'll make a GAP between your head and your neck!
  • Don't stare at me in astonishment when your wounds begin to GAPE!
  • I'll give you a wound that GAPES like the mouth of a grave!
  • This is gonna leave some GAPS in your smile.
  • You're as ugly as a GAR.
  • I'll knock you right out of your GARB.
  • I've seen slugs in my GARDEN with more personality than you.
  • You'll be a GARGLER of your own blood after this.
  • Ugh! Have you been eating GARLIC?
  • I will GAROTTE you, and then dance a gavotte.
  • Your fighting engine is out of GAS!
  • My favorite noble GASES are argon and helium.
  • I'm donating a large GASH to your impressive collection of wounds.
  • Soon you'll be nothing but wounds and assorted GASHES!
  • Prepare for a GASHING, whatever that is!
  • I'll knock the last GASP out of you.
  • It's nothing personal. I'm just feeling GASSY. That always puts me in a foul mood.
  • I was ahead of you straight out of the GATE!
  • You'll never make it into the GATED community of those who have defeated me!
  • Haters gonna hate, and GATERS gonna gate.
  • I'm gonna knock you to the GATES of Hell.
  • I'ma gunna wrassle you like a GATOR and make a wallet from yer skin!
  • I'll feed what's left of you to the GATORS.
  • You're looking a little GAUNT; maybe you should eat something. Like... this!
  • I'll trample you like a GAUR.
  • There's not enough GAUZE in the world to staunch the wounds you're about to get!
  • I've repaid sevenfold any injury anyone ever GAVE me!
  • I'm bringing down the GAVEL and sentencing you to death!
  • I will garotte you, and then dance a GAVOTTE.
  • I would never use the word GAY as a pejorative, so hang on while I think of something else to call you.
  • I have nothing interesting to say about GAYS.
  • You should've never met my GAZE, fiend.
  • I have GAZED into your future -- it's nasty, brutish and short.
  • Don't be such a navel GAZER.
  • Are you one of the star GAZERS, or do you do anything useful?
  • Everyone who doesn't like violence should avert their GAZES!
  • There's not a piece of GEAR that will save you in this fight!
  • You really grind my GEARS.
  • Well GEE willikers! I guess I'll just haveta kick your ass, mister!
  • Take this, GEEK.
  • I've seen better battle tactics from a flock of GEESE!
  • GEEZ buddy, your face is a mess.
  • There'll be nothing left of you but a foul-smelling GEL!
  • I'll crush you and make GELATIN from your bones.
  • I will make GELATINS from your bones!
  • I'm gonna GELD you... assuming you've got anything to remove in the first place.
  • This one will be a real GEM.
  • You've got some real GEMS in your scar collection there. Let me add a few more for you.
  • This is gonna be a real next-GEN beating.
  • It's not my fault. I was born with the violence GENE.
  • In GENERAL, I disapprove of violence, but in your case I'll make an exception.
  • I'm about to splice your GENES!
  • You'll wish you'd never let this GENIE out of the lamp.
  • This one's coming straight at your GENITALS.
  • I happen to be one, but it wouldn't take a GENIUS to beat you!
  • Lady or GENT, it's time for you to bow out!
  • This will be the opposite of GENTLE.
  • There's no way to put this GENTLY...
  • Step right up, ladies and GENTS, and watch me win this fight!
  • I'll bury you next to your pet GERBIL.
  • You're nothing but a GERM.
  • You're as insignificant to me as the GERMS on my hands!
  • I'm gonna GET you good!
  • The early bastard GETS the stabbing!
  • I'm GETTING tired of your nonsense.
  • You're about to give up the GHAST.
  • If you come back again as a GHOST to haunt me, I'll kill you a second time.
  • Prepare to join the ranks of the GHOSTS!
  • Soon you'll be nothing but food for a GHOUL!
  • Soon you'll be food for the GHOULS!
  • Fighting me was a GIANT mistake!
  • I'm standing on the shoulders of GIANTS... and I can see your grave from here.
  • Don't GIBBER and whine all day. Fight me!
  • Does my impending victory make me GIDDY? Yup.
  • This is the GIFT that keeps on giving!
  • You're a terrible fighter, but perhaps you're a GIFTED cellist or something.
  • Here are some more GIFTS for you: a concussion, and a sucking chest wound.
  • Beating you up is sure to be a lucrative GIG.
  • I could use fancier attacks, but I'm not one to GILD the lily.
  • You'd better grow some GILLS quick, 'cause you're gonna be sleeping with the fishes.
  • Gold-plated as my skills are, I shall feel no GILT about beating you!
  • Maybe you should GIMP along home and think about what you've done.
  • I'll finish you off like a bottle of GIN.
  • I'm gonna make you cry like a little GIRL.
  • GIRLS love a guy in uniform, so I'll make sure you're uniformly bruised.
  • You can't beat me! You're a little GIRLY... whatever!
  • Give it up; you'll never have the speed, power, or GIRTH that I have.
  • Okay, I think I've got the GIST of how this works -- you attack me, and I beat you up. Is that right?
  • I'm gunna kill ye, ye daft GIT!
  • I'll GIVE you whatfor!
  • It is pretty much a GIVEN that you aren't going to survive this encounter.
  • I am a selfless GIVER of ass-kickings!
  • There are GIVERS of violence, and takers. I'm the former.
  • I hope this GIVES you as much pain as it GIVES me pleasure.
  • You'll be GLAD when this is over. Or dead.
  • Fighting you is about as difficult as a pleasant walk through a GLADE!
  • You're about to visit the GLADES and dales of the afterlife.
  • Sword, arrow, or GLAIVE will not help you now!
  • There's no GLAM here, only ugly death.
  • There's nothing worse than a game that GLAMORIZES violence. Wait, I mean, 'awesomer'.
  • The first time I GLANCED at you, I knew I'd be the end of you.
  • If this blow GLANCES, the next one won't.
  • Bam! Right in the pituitary GLAND!
  • I'll squeeze the last bit of juice out of your terror GLANDS!
  • You can GLARE at me all you want, but I'm not particularly intimidated.
  • Did you think if you GLARED at me hard enough, I'd go away?
  • I shall endure your sullen GLARES no longer. Have at you!
  • Your ass is GLASS, and I'm a brick!
  • I wouldn't hit a guy with GLASSES, but I would hit him with a (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword)!
  • When did you last sleep? You're all GLASSY-eyed.
  • This'll make your eyes GLAZE over.
  • This'll leave a GLAZED look in your eyes.
  • When I think about you, my eye GLAZES over. Then the other one GLAZES over, too.
  • Your eyes are kind of GLAZING over. I think you might have a concussion.
  • That GLEAM in my eye is glee at your impending doom!
  • I'll knock the GLEAMS right out of your eyes.
  • Study this attack and see if you can GLEAN some knowledge from it!
  • I will feel no satisfaction at your defeat. But I will feel GLEE!
  • Let's see how GLIB you are without a face!
  • I will effortlessly GLIDE to victory!
  • Sugar GLIDERS are as adorable as you are ugly.
  • I'll enjoy watching as your hope of winning GLIDES into despair!
  • Do you see the murderous GLINT in my eyes?
  • I'll knock the GLINTS right out of your eyes.
  • I see the sweat GLISTEN on your brow! Let's add some blood!
  • I'm not usually the sort to GLOAT, but hahaha I'm kicking your ass!
  • You're gonna feel pretty silly for having GLOATED too soon.
  • I hate to be the person who GLOATS after a good attack. So I'll do it beforehand!
  • I think I could travel the entire GLOBE and not meet anyone as ugly as you.
  • By the golden GLOBES of the goddess, I strike!
  • You bring nothing but GLOOM to the world.
  • I've been to GLOOMIER places, but the monsters there weren't as dumb.
  • Why so GLOOMY? It'll all be over soon!
  • Instead of resting on the laurels of past GLORIES, how about you fight me for real?
  • Let's find out if the old adage 'No guts, no GLORY' is actually true.
  • I'm not going to GLOSS over it: this is going to hurt.
  • You'll need several GLOSSARIES to describe this beating.
  • I'd challenge you to a duel, if I had a GLOVE to slap you with.
  • I'm taking off the kid GLOVES!
  • That GLOW you see -- that's the light at the end of your tunnel.
  • Don't GLOWER at me! It's rude!
  • I'm about to smack your face until it GLOWS!
  • Maybe when I'm done here I can sell you to a GLUE factory.
  • Don't just stand there like you're GLUED to the ground!
  • I'm going to use your bones to make GLUES and other household products!
  • Don't be GLUM. There's no sense in wasting the last few seconds of your life being in a bad mood.
  • There seems to be a GLUT of wannabe losers around here.
  • When I eat GLUTEN, it puts me in a bad mood. I had some bread earlier.
  • You're a GLUTTON for punishment, eh?
  • You're about to get a GNARLY wound.
  • You won't be able to GNASH those teeth for much longer.
  • I thought a GNAT bit me just now, but I guess it was your attack.
  • I'll brush you off like a cloud of GNATS.
  • I'm gonna leave your bones for the weasels to GNAW.
  • You're as strong as an ox, and as tall as a GNOME.
  • I'll beat you more viciously than an army of rabid GNOMES, and I can hit above shin level.
  • This is what you get when you GOAD me.
  • I'm insulting you hoping it GOADS you into being a marginally better fighter.
  • My GOAL is merely to beat you, but humiliating you is an added bonus.
  • One of my GOALS for the day was to beat you up.
  • Have at you, you child of a motherless GOAT!
  • I'll stampede over you like a multiverse of GOATS!
  • I'm gonna smash yer GOB in!
  • When you meet GOD, tell him I sent you.
  • They're all away on business, but go ahead and pray to the GODS!
  • I'm about to defeat you. So it GOES.
  • Here's a simple one: I'm GOING to kick your ass.
  • You're about to win the GOLD in the getting-beat-up Olympics!
  • Silence is GOLDEN, so I'm gonna shut you up for good.
  • As far as you're concerned, I'm a beatdown GOLEM.
  • Jeez, you guys couldn't be more brainless if you were GOLEMS.
  • I'll play GOLF with your eyeballs.
  • I'm gonna kick you in the GONAD, assuming you even have one.
  • This attack is coming right at your GONADS, if you have any!
  • Your ass is going, going, GONE!
  • You're a GONER, pal.
  • Better tell your friends: all you jerks are GONERS!
  • I'm gonna ring your skull like a GONG!
  • I'll ring you like a series of GONGS.
  • I'm gonna stomp your entire body into GOO!
  • Say GOOD night, Gracie.
  • Say GOODBYE to your favorite parts while you're got the chance.
  • I'm a pain peddler. Let me show you my GOODS!
  • You're about to see that I'm no GOODY two-shoes!
  • C'mon, hurry up -- I haven't got time to GOOF around.
  • I'll squish you into a GOOKY paste.
  • You're nothing but a no-account GOON!
  • I've had enough of you stupid GOONS!
  • You'll be a puddle of GOOP when I'm through with you!
  • Ugh, I bet your insides are all GOOPY.
  • I'm about to loosen your GOOSE.
  • This attack is likely to produce some GORE.
  • You'll feel like you've been GORED by a bull when I'm through with you!
  • I'm gonna hit you like a bull GORES a matador.
  • This is gonna get pretty GORY, so just shut your eyes and I'll tell you when it's over.
  • GOSH! Even compared to the rest of these guys, you're really ugly!
  • The GOSSIP around town is that you're about to lose a fight!
  • You think you can beat me? You have GOT to be kidding.
  • Are you a GOTH? Or is it just that this beatdown is making you sad?
  • I hate you almost as much as I hate hippies and GOTHS.
  • I'll deprive you of your ill-GOTTEN gains.
  • You must be out of your GOURD if you think you can defeat me!
  • Your parents must have been out of their GOURDS to raise you the way they did.
  • You fight like an old man with GOUT!
  • Unlike the GOVERNMENT of, by, and for the people, you're about to perish from the earth!
  • I'm gonna start cutting bits off now, so GRAB anything you don't want to lose.
  • You're not one of those people who GRABS at straws, are you?
  • Please try to accept your defeat with GRACE.
  • You should be honored that I've GRACED you with my presence.
  • If you want to get in my good GRACES, I recommend you hurry up and die.
  • I didn't go to adventuring GRAD school to get taken down by a scrub like you!
  • When it comes to worthy opponents, you sure don't make the GRADE.
  • You'll have to do better than that -- you're being GRADED on style here.
  • I bet you got pretty good GRADES in Stupid Minion School.
  • This is gonna be the Holy GRAIL of pain.
  • Kicking your ass and smashing your face in are basically my two holy GRAILS.
  • There's not a GRAIN of sand left in your hourglass!
  • Vegan zombies crave GRAINS, I crave your defeat!
  • Soon, all that will be left of you is a GRAINY photograph.
  • Don't expect a GRAM of mercy from me!
  • I'm guessing your GRAMMAR got run over by a reindeer.
  • You hit like an old man, GRAMPS!
  • My prescription? 50 GRAMS of pain.
  • Now for the GRAND finale! Huzzah!
  • I'll GRANT you a boon: a swift exit from this world!
  • If you've got a death wish, then congratulations, your wish is GRANTED!
  • Let's hope this attack GRANTS you your eternal rest.
  • I shall unleash one giant GRAPE of wrath on you!
  • You're whining pretty loud now, but just wait'll I start stomping on your GRAPES.
  • I don't think you quite GRASP the seriousness of your predicament.
  • Your ass is GRASS.
  • If you had more than one ass, they would be multiple GRASSES.
  • I'm gonna be the GRASSY knoll to your motorcade! ...Or something.
  • I'll GRATE you like a block of cheddar!
  • Would you prefer to be blended, chopped, or just GRATED?
  • You're gonna look like you lost a fight with a cheese GRATER.
  • I don't know what it is, but your face just really GRATES on me.
  • Don't worry, this is a service I perform GRATIS.
  • I'm gonna send you to an early GRAVE!
  • You may grovel at my feet, but you'll still end up lying in the GRAVEL!
  • I shall commission a GRAVEN image in honor of this victory!
  • They'll have to bury you in a dozen different GRAVES!
  • I don't think you understand the GRAVITY of your situation, here.
  • I've already defeated you. This is just GRAVY.
  • Let me know when your vision starts going GRAY, and maybe I'll ease up a little. Maybe.
  • This one will do more than just GRAZE you.
  • You'll wish this hit only GRAZED you!
  • I will not mourn as a worm GRAZES upon your corpse!
  • You're gonna be nothing but a GREASE stain on the floor when I'm done.
  • I've GREASED the rails for your train to the afterlife!
  • I'll smash you into a pile of GREASY grimy guts!
  • This is going to be GREAT. For me.
  • There is no GREATER joy than delivering a smackdown to someone who really deserves it.
  • I am the GREATEST!
  • I'm one of the all-time GREATS at beating you up!
  • GREED is good, but revenge is sweeter!
  • Among your various other sins, you're very GREEDY.
  • It's not easy being GREEN, but it's easy to lay the smack down on you.
  • Perhaps the grass will be GREENER on the other side of the pale.
  • Maybe if you'd eaten your GREENS like mom said, you'd be tough enough to take this.
  • Prepare to GREET your maker!
  • Wave to the Grim Reaper as he GREETS you!
  • It's time you GREW a spine, so I can break it!
  • There's no GREY area here -- I'm good, and you're evil.
  • I'm going to carve a GRID into you and play Tic-tac-toe!
  • That's enough GRIEF outta you, buddy!
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) is headed straight for your GRILL.
  • I'm afraid your fate is no fairy tale, but it's certainly going to be GRIM!
  • I've had harder fights with the GRIME on my armor!
  • I've seen some disgusting GRIMES in my life, but none as nasty as you.
  • I'll smash you into a pile of greasy GRIMY guts.
  • I'm going to kick your ass, so you might as well just GRIN and bear it!
  • I'm going to GRIND your bones, but not into bread. That would be gross.
  • I'm about to put you through the meat GRINDER!
  • Let's hope this GRINDS your gears!
  • Can you see the Grim Reaper as he GRINS?
  • Try as you might, you'll never escape my GRIP.
  • If I have one GRIPE, it's that you only have one skull for me to crush.
  • Spare me your petty GRIPES! Prepare to be defeated!
  • Quit GRIPING! I'll be done killing you in a minute!
  • You'd better come to GRIPS with your impending demise.
  • You're just more GRIST for my mill!
  • When I'm through with you there'll be nothing left but GRISTLE.
  • This'll make you GRIT your teeth.
  • If you don't like the way I fight, kiss my GRITS!
  • I'm gonna make you GROAN in pain!
  • That last thing you said was a real GROANER.
  • My ears will be deaf to your piteous GROANS!
  • I'll shuck you like a GROAT. You shuck those, right?
  • Man I cannot wait to drink GROG out of your skull. It's gonna be so awesome.
  • It'd be gauche to aim for your GROIN, so this one's coming straight at your face.
  • I wish you had multiple GROINS, so I could kick you in more than one.
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) is the bride and your face is the GROOM.
  • I will strike with a surgeon's precision while you GROPE around like a drunken frat boy!
  • You fight like a guy who GROPES around in a dark room looking for a light switch!
  • What's grosser than GROSS? You. It's you.
  • What's GROSSER than gross? You. It's you.
  • Would you mind turning around? Your face really GROSSES me out.
  • Neither caves nor GROTTOS can hide you from my wrath!
  • Man, you are such a GROUCH! Cheer up!
  • I'm going to smash you so far into the GROUND, you'll come out the other side.
  • Your mere existence is sufficient GROUNDS to beat you up!
  • If you guys attacked me together, I could give you a GROUP rate on your beatings.
  • Don't GROUSE about it, just take your licks.
  • Let's get this over with. I need to clean the mildew out of my GROUT.
  • I'll hit you so hard it'll knock the GROUTS out of your shower tile!
  • I'll bury you in a beautiful sylvan GROVE, and then set it on fire.
  • We'll bury you beneath GROVES as shady as you are!
  • You're not going to GROW one second older!
  • I have to say, I'm GROWING pretty fond of beating the tar out of you.
  • You may GROWL like a bear, but you hit like a mouse!
  • When my stomach GROWLS like that, it means I'm hungry. For killing.
  • Try again when you're full GROWN!
  • My apathy about this fight GROWS ever larger. Let's end this!
  • Let's hurry this up so I can go get some GRUB!
  • You'll be a feast for the GRUBS!
  • You are likely to be eaten by a GRUE. I mean beaten by my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • I'm gonna make GRUEL from your bones and feed you to orphans.
  • I'm going to beat you. There's no sense being a GRUMP about it.
  • Cheer up, GRUMPY! It'll all be over soon!
  • Macho and intimidating GRUNT!
  • Soon you'll have GRUNTED your last.
  • Your GRUNTS of effort are disgusting! I shall end this quickly!
  • Man, you need to learn to GUARD once in a while.
  • Let's test how well that ribcage of yours GUARDS your organs.
  • I GUESS I'll just have to destroy you now.
  • I'll give you three GUESSES for where I'm stabbing you next.
  • Be my GUEST. By which I mean my victim.
  • May the stars GUIDE my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) into your face.
  • I hope your spirit GUIDES can get you to the afterlife!
  • You're a disgrace to yourself, your family, and your GUILD!
  • Your GUILE is beyond the ken of mortals. Even mortals named Zangief.
  • I'm not going to feel any GUILT about doing this to you.
  • I'm feeling GUILTIER about this than I expected... but I'll get over it.
  • I feel a little GUILTY about killing all you guys, but you're just so easy to hate.
  • This beating will come in the GUISE of an even worse beating.
  • I'm about to ring your bell just like playing a GUITAR!
  • No GUITARS will play at your funeral!
  • The huge GULF between our skill levels almost makes me feel bad for you.
  • That GULP you hear is yourself, gulping with fear.
  • I'm here to beat you up and chew GUM. Got any gum?
  • I'll knock your teeth out and bruise your GUMS!
  • I bet you wish you'd brought a GUN to this swordfight.
  • Clean the GUNK out of your joints and move!
  • I hope you've got air support with a tail GUNNER. You'll need it!
  • I'll stuff your remains in a GUNNY sack!
  • GUNS don't beat you up -- I do.
  • I hope you at least make a funny GURGLE noise when you die.
  • I am like a GURU, but for violence instead of peace.
  • And now it's time for blood to GUSH upon the ground!
  • Your blood's about to get all GUSHY.
  • Did you say something, or was that just a GUST of wind?
  • I'm going to beat you with vim, verve, and GUSTO!
  • I'll GUT you like a fish.
  • You're a GUTLESS slime, and I'm going to make that description literal.
  • You sure have a lot of GUTS! Let me show them to you.
  • Yer in fer a spot've barney, GUV.
  • I think I've had just about enough of this GUY.
  • Maybe you'd stand a chance if there were, like, ten other GUYS on your side.
  • You should've spent more time at the GYM.
  • I thought you'd be a lot tougher than this. What a GYP!
  • I'll ditch you like a bad HABIT.
  • I've tried to give up killing monsters, but old HABITS, you know?
  • I'm gonna HACK you into stock cubes!
  • You won't be such a smart-mouth when I've HACKED you into tiny cubes!
  • I was gonna let you go, but you just HAD to make me angry.
  • You shall pay for your sins in HADES! Or whereever your particular religion sends you.
  • Your mother is a HAG, and also you smell bad.
  • I'll make a HAGGIS from your entrails!
  • Your mother and your sister are both HAGS.
  • All HAIL the soon-to-be deceased!
  • When this is over, you'll be HAILED as my messiest kill!
  • I'll be grinning as the whole village HAILS me as the victor!
  • I'll knock the HAIR off of your moles.
  • This is gonna make the HAIRS on the back of your neck stand up.
  • This is gonna be a HAIRY situation for you...
  • You won't be looking HALE and hearty for much longer.
  • How old are you? Never mind, I'll just cut you in HALF and count the rings.
  • HALO or horns, it's time for you to explore the afterlife!
  • HALT! Hammerzeit!
  • You're about to be HALTED in your tracks!
  • You're about as useful as a HALTER top is for armor!
  • I hope this one HALTS you in your tracks!
  • This approach is a little HAM-fisted, but...
  • To be isn't an option for any of the HAMLETS who have fought me!
  • Look dude, I'm not gonna spank your HAMS.
  • I have to HAND it to you, you sure know how to take a punch.
  • I'm sure hard to HANDLE!
  • You're gonna have your HANDS full in a minute... full of your own intestines.
  • I'm pretty HANDY with a (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword), in case you hadn't noticed.
  • HANG on to your butts!
  • Your face is the HANGAR and my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) is the plane.
  • Look on the bright side -- this fight will save you the trouble of being HANGED.
  • Your life is HANGING by a thread!
  • Just so you know, I don't HARBOUR any ill will toward you. Ha ha ha!
  • Come on then, if you think you're HARD enough!
  • I'm gonna hit you so HARD, they'll be able to bury you in an envelope.
  • The uglier they are, the HARDER they fall!
  • You HARDLY pose a challenge.
  • I'm the tortoise and you're the HARE. I always win.
  • You'll fall like the HARES before the foxes!
  • HARK! A fool is about to get his comeuppance!
  • HARKEN unto my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword), fiend!
  • 'HARM' doesn't really cover what I'm about to do to you.
  • Give up now and you won't be HARMED! ...Okay, that's probably not true.
  • Fighting me will do you no good and plenty of HARMS!
  • You're about to get some wings and take up playing the HARP!
  • And then the cyclops said, "No, she gave me HARPIES!"
  • I am the HARPOON, and you are the whale.
  • There aren't gonna be any HARPS playing where you're going, buddy.
  • Never HAS a fighter been less of a challenge!
  • Man, you are really making a HASH of this fight, buddy.
  • You've HASSLED the people of this valley for too long.
  • I shall lay waste to you with HASTE!
  • This should HASTEN your demise.
  • I'm going to force you to wear your large intestine as a HAT.
  • I'm gonna love this, but you're gonna HATE it.
  • You remind me of my uncle. I HATED my uncle.
  • Why are all of you guys such HATEFUL jerks?
  • If a HATER is gonna hate, call me a beater.
  • They said I couldn't fight! Take this, HATERS!
  • It's not me, it's my weapon. It just HATES you.
  • Besides scorned women, Hell HATH no fury like me.
  • My HATRED for you knows no bounds!
  • You keep putting on HATS, I'll keep knocking them off.
  • My plan is to kick ass, then HAUL it.
  • Promise me after I kill you, your ghost will not HAUNT me!
  • You know, I'm starting to think this place is HAUNTED. What do you think?
  • I hope the memory of this hit HAUNTS you forever!
  • I met your mom and she was totally HAUT!
  • You can HAVE this beating and eat it, too.
  • There is no safe HAVEN for you!
  • There are no safe HAVENS for the likes of you.
  • You won't be HAVING any fun after this.
  • Yee HAW, this is gonna be painful.
  • I'll treat you like a HAWK treats a rabbit!
  • I'm watching you like a bunch of HAWKS.
  • I'm making HAY while the sun shines! Wait, not hay, bruises.
  • I'm going to HAZE you harder than a frat boy with a new pledge!
  • I'm the frat boy and you're the pledge. Time to get HAZED!
  • I'm going to paddle you like a frat boy HAZES a pledge!
  • This'll be worst the worst HAZING you've ever endured.
  • Reply HAZY, try again.
  • This is gonna take your HEAD off.
  • You're HEADING into a world of pain, buddy.
  • I'll hit you so hard it'll knock your grandparents' HEADS off.
  • This one's gonna take a while to HEAL.
  • This wound won't be easily HEALED.
  • You'll need a skilled HEALER after this.
  • They're gonna need a whole army of HEALERS to repair this damage!
  • I hope you've got some HEALING items on hand. You're gonna need 'em.
  • It'll be a while before this one HEALS!
  • The Surgeon General says: annoying me is bad for your HEALTH.
  • You're not looking too HEALTHY. I guess I'm not helping much.
  • I'll leave you a crumpled HEAP.
  • Ugh, you got gross all over my shirt. Thanks HEAPS!
  • Do you HEAR that? It's the sound of your approaching doom!
  • If you HEARD that I'm a skilled fighter, you don't know the half of it!
  • I told you not to step to me, but you must be hard of HEARING.
  • Wait 'til the whole village HEARS about how badly you lost!
  • The next ride you go in will be in a HEARSE.
  • You should listen to your HEART, because I'm about to stop it!
  • After this, you're gonna wish you had a couple of spare HEARTS.
  • I'll defeat you and have a HEARTY laugh about it.
  • If you can't stand the HEAT, get out of my face.
  • Gosh, I didn't expect this little altercation to get so HEATED.
  • You're a lousy fighter, but you'd make a decent space HEATER!
  • Hell is gonna seem like HEAVEN after what I do to you!
  • Gosh darn you to HECK!
  • Take HEED, scum: your end is nigh!
  • Your entire body is an Achilles HEEL!
  • I'm going to knock you head over HEELS. Literally.
  • Any message you want me to pass on to your HEIR?
  • I've HELD back up to this point, but now your beating is really going to start.
  • You think you're heavy metal, but you're just HELIUM!
  • I will unwind the double HELIX of your DNA!
  • Why don't you make like a tree and go to HELL?
  • HELLO! Time to die!
  • I'm going to send your limbs to their own individual HELLS!
  • Maybe you can find a HELM that will cover up what I'm going to do to your face.
  • You're beyond HELP.
  • Let's see if a decapitation HELPS clear up that face problem you have.
  • You're not fit to touch the HEM of my garment.
  • I'll peck you like a HEN pecks... another HEN.
  • Honestly, I've slaughtered HENS who put up more of a fight than you.
  • Tell your mother I miss HER.
  • There is no medicinal HERB powerful enough to heal these wounds.
  • You'll need an HERBAL remedy after this is over.
  • You must have been smoking some funny HERBS if you think you can beat me.
  • It's time to thin the HERD.
  • I'm HERE, I'm attacking you, get used to it.
  • You are barely a bit part in this play. I am the HERO!
  • You'll never be immortalized like the HEROES of old!
  • I am probably the greatest of all the HEROS!
  • I sure hope that sore on your lip isn't HERPES.
  • Are you married? I could give you his-and-HERS stab wounds.
  • I shall have a coffee mug HEWN from your skull! Or a cereal bowl.
  • Hex-ee-poo! HEX on you!
  • Are you naturally a bad fighter, or did you get HEXED by a bad-fight witch?
  • Not even the most powerful HEXES will save you!
  • HEY! You! Die!
  • I guess this is what I have to put up with when I hang around these little HICK towns.
  • You should've HID from me rather than try and fight!
  • If you have any HIDDEN talents, now'd be the time to show them.
  • There's nowhere for you to HIDE!
  • You look like a better HIDER than a fighter!
  • I've tanned the HIDES of better fighters than you!
  • HIE unto the afterlife, fiend!
  • You think you can beat me? Are you HIGH, or something?
  • Take a HIKE.
  • Take a hike! In fact, take several HIKES!
  • Let's get this over with. I'm going HIKING later.
  • If this is the HILL you've decided to fight and die on, then so be it!
  • The HILLS are alive with the sound of your death.
  • Let's see what you look like with a HILT sticking out of your thorax.
  • I ought to stab a bunch of swords in you to their HILTS!
  • When you meet the devil, tell HIM I said hi.
  • You think you have a golden HIND, but in reality your ass is grass.
  • You shall not HINDER my quest for greatness!
  • You seem like someone who needs a swift kick in the HINDERS.
  • If you had two HINDS, I would kick them both!
  • Fortunately, my self-esteem doesn't HINGE on having a competent opponent!
  • The whole fight HINGES on this blow. Or the next one, or the one after that.
  • Let me give you a HINT: you don't have a chance in hell of beating me.
  • Careful not to break a HIP.
  • You don't have to HIRE me to defeat you. I'll do it for free!
  • Are you applying for the position of my door mat? In that case, you're HIRED!
  • Man, your boss HIRES the most incompetent underlings I've ever seen.
  • To each HIS own. HIS own beating, I mean.
  • You HISS like a snake, but you fight like a cow.
  • That's it! You're HISTORY, sucker!
  • I'm gonna HIT you 'til candy comes out!
  • And the HITS just keep on coming!
  • I'm a real heavy HITTER.
  • I guess this is a real HIVE of scum and... eh, whatever.
  • The very sight of you makes me break out in HIVES.
  • HMM.
  • Your mother was a--I mean, I shall beat you before the HOAR frost forms!
  • I'll add your valuables to my treasure HOARD, and your friends to my warrior horde!
  • I will defeat you and take any and all HOARDS of treasure you may be keeping.
  • It's not a HOAX -- I'm actually this strong.
  • Your other victories must have been cruel HOAXES!
  • I'm going to gut you like a HOBO! ...Fish! I meant to say 'fish'.
  • You're the garden, I'm the HOE.
  • I guess I shouldn't HOG all the fun, but I just can't get enough of killing you guys.
  • I'll feed you to the HOGS.
  • Prepare to be HOISTED by your own petard.
  • HOLD on a second, I'm trying to remember which side your liver is on.
  • No HOLDS barred, right? Because I thought of a new one.
  • Come on, die already! What's the HOLDUP?
  • I'm gonna tear you a new HOLE!
  • You should've stayed HOLED up in your cave or whatever.
  • Let's put a few new HOLES in you, shall we?
  • I'm sick of your HOLIER-than-thou attitude.
  • Just give me a HOLLER if you get tired and want to go get a beer instead.
  • HOLY beating, Batman!
  • Run HOME and cry to Mama!
  • You're striking out, so I'm about to hit a HOMER.
  • Sorry, HOMES, but your time is up.
  • I can tell you're no HOMO. Sapiens.
  • Perhaps you should HONE your skills before you fight?
  • I've HONED my skills on better foes than you!
  • Every fight just HONES my skills further!
  • I have to be HONEST with you: you're not surviving this fight.
  • Do you HONESTLY think you can beat me? Come on.
  • They say you can catch more flies with HONEY, but I think I'll stick with this (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • HONK if you love a (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) in your neck!
  • You are entirely devoid of HONOR.
  • Allow me to do the HONORS.
  • I should be wearing an executioner's HOOD for this.
  • I've dealt with HOODS like you before.
  • I've also got a mean right HOOK.
  • I'm kicking your butt! HOORAY!
  • You think you'll beat me? What a HOOT!
  • You'll be dead before the night owl HOOTS!
  • I'll HOP up and down on your grave!
  • You'd better HOPE you never meet me when I'm in a bad mood.
  • I HOPED I wouldn't have to do this... ha ha, just kidding, I live for it.
  • Don't get your HOPES up about surviving this.
  • I would make beer out of your whine if I had some barley and HOPS!
  • You're so TENSE! Allow me to relax you by knocking you out.
  • I could defeat a whole HORDE of jokers like you.
  • I've defeated HORDES of your brethren -- you pose no threat.
  • If you've got some kind of magical aid-summoning HORN, now'd be the time to blow it.
  • Mess with a bull, you're gonna get the HORNS.
  • I'll squish you like a HORNY toad.
  • Let's not put the cart before the HORSE, here.
  • Wild HORSES couldn't help you win this fight, even if they were inclined to!
  • Up your nose with a rubber HOSE.
  • Let's not sugar-coat this: you're totally HOSED.
  • Why don't you get out of here, ya HOSER.
  • Up your noses with some rubber HOSES!
  • I'm about to HOSPITALISE you.
  • There's a party in your face, and my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) is the HOST.
  • Is it HOT in here, or is it just me?
  • You're about to check into the great HOTEL in the sky.
  • I'll stay at a series of fine HOTELS to celebrate this victory!
  • Did you know your mother has the HOTS for me?
  • My fury is HOTTER than a blacksmith's forge!
  • You're as wretched as a lowly HOUND.
  • Cry 'Booyah!' and let slip the HOUNDS of kicking your ass!
  • Your final HOUR has come! In fact, it's your final couple of seconds!
  • I could do this for HOURS.
  • This is MY HOUSE!
  • I will release the blood HOUSED within your veins.
  • People who live in glass HOUSES shouldn't attack adventurers.
  • Don't HOVER like that. It makes it hard to think of a word.
  • HOW d'you like these apples?
  • Normally I'm the peaceful sort; HOWEVER, in your case, I'll make an exception.
  • You gonna HOWL all day, little doggie?
  • In a diagram of losers, you're the HUB!
  • Your current HUE doesn't suit you. Perhaps black and blue will look better on you!
  • You'll have bruises in several HUES.
  • You'll need a HUG after this.
  • You're about to experience a HUGE amount of pain.
  • I suspect you didn't get HUGGED enough as a child.
  • I'm here for punches, not HUGS!
  • So... you're pretty dumb, HUH?
  • Let's see how well you can HUM with no teeth.
  • Look, I'm only HUMAN. Hurting people and ruining things is just what I do.
  • Sheesh, you don't have much of a sense of HUMOR, do you?
  • I'm gonna give you the Death of a HUNDRED Cuts! ...Could you help me keep count?
  • Prepare to be HUNG out to dry!
  • I have a HUNGER for victory, and you'll make a passable hors d'oeuvre!
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) HUNGERS for your blood!
  • I'm HUNGRY for some justice!
  • I'm gonna carve a HUNK off of you to use... as... well, I'll think of something!
  • Don't bother running away -- I'd just HUNT you down.
  • I am the hunter and you are the HUNTED.
  • Aha! Now the HUNTER becomes the cadaver!
  • And now the HUNTERS have become the hunted!
  • You must be the kind of guy who HUNTS for a beating!
  • Quit looking directly at me -- your face makes me want to HURL.
  • In a minute I'll be HURLING you to the ground!
  • I'm gonna rock you like a HURRICANE!
  • Let's get this over with. I'm in kind of a HURRY.
  • This is gonna HURT, and you're not gonna like it.
  • Would you like a hertz donut? HURTS, don't it?
  • HUSH, now. It'll all be over soon.
  • Your mother was a HUSSY.
  • I'll crush you to paste and build a HUT out of you.
  • What's your favorite HYMN? They'll need something to sing at your funeral.
  • The HYPE about me? It's all true.
  • I feel strangely HYPNOTIZED.
  • I'm as cold as ICE, and you're about to get sacrificed!
  • I'll sink you like ICEBERGS sink ships!
  • ICK! You got blood all over my shoes!
  • Hey, here's an IDEA: die.
  • IDEALLY, you would have realized that you can't win by now.
  • How about I just go IDLE for a bit, and you can call when you're done?
  • Your plan of attack seems a bit IFFY to me.
  • You're goin' down, no IFS, ands, or buts!
  • Your IGNOBLE deeds cannot go unpunished.
  • I've had it with you and your ILK.
  • You'll be feeling ILL when this is over.
  • I hold you personally responsible for all of the world's ILLS.
  • Your sleep tonight will be haunted by IMAGES of your defeat!
  • I never IMAGINED killing monsters would be so easy and profitable!
  • Prepare for your IMMINENT demise!
  • Thought you were IMMORTAL? Wrong.
  • Brace yourself for IMPACT.
  • Your face is about to suffer multiple fist IMPACTS!
  • Your judgement is about to be forcefully IMPAIRED.
  • Stay tuned for an IMPORTANT message from my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • It must feel awful to be as IMPOTENT as you are.
  • I find your banter INANE.
  • INCEST is bad, and so are you. And so is your sister.
  • I'd let you go free, but INCH, mile, all that.
  • I'm going to break all of your bones -- INCLUDING the little ones in your ears.
  • Let's see if I can INCREASE your level of pain and suffering a bit.
  • This will be a sound beating INDEED.
  • How do you spell your name? I'll add you to my INDEX of douchebags I've killed.
  • My sources INDICATE that you don't stand a chance against me.
  • You should've spent more time INDOORS as a kid.
  • I hope you'll INDULGE me in a little display of midless violence.
  • I've met some dumb thugs, but you're even more INEPT than most.
  • Begone, INFERNAL creature!
  • Here's some INFO for you: you're boned.
  • Here's some interesting INFORMATION: This is going to hurt.
  • You're about to be the main INGREDIENT in a pain sundae.
  • Tell me what INJURES you more -- my wit or my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • Allow me to add some insult to this INJURY.
  • Your future is as dark as INK.
  • I have an INKLING that you're not going to survive this fight!
  • There's no vacancy at the INN, but maybe you can get a room at the hospital.
  • This one is going all up INS.
  • It was foolish to fight me at all, but to expect to win is INSANE!
  • Stop the INSANITIES! All of them!
  • I'm gonna swat you like the puny INSECT you are!
  • INSERT (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) A into gall bladder B.
  • I'm gonna ram a fist down your throat and turn you INSIDE out.
  • I'm gonna let out some of your INSIDES.
  • Your style isn't just ineffective, it's downright INSIPID.
  • I was considering letting you off the hook, but I think I'll just kill you INSTEAD.
  • I don't need no INSTRUCTIONS to know how to rock!
  • Now I'll add INSULT to injury: you're ugly.
  • I hope your life INSURANCE is paid up.
  • No INSURERS will want to touch you after this is over.
  • For all INTENTS and purposes, you're about to be hamburger.
  • Here's payback -- with INTEREST!
  • I'm gonna twist your limbs into INTERESTING and artistic new configurations.
  • Don't worry, your injuries won't all be INTERNAL.
  • I'm speaking the INTERNATIONAL language: violence.
  • Hello, I'd like to INTERVIEW you for "Bleeding In a Ditch Quarterly".
  • I'm gonna beat you INTO a pulp.
  • Your presence INTRUDES on my peace of mind.
  • You might want to INVEST in a good life-insurance policy. Quickly.
  • You should have INVESTED in some better armor.
  • Your face INVITES violence, and it's about to arrive.
  • This fighter INVOKES the right to triumph!
  • I'll charge you like an ION.
  • Your lack of prowess makes me IRATE!
  • Okay, now you've raised my IRE!
  • You IRK me, kid.
  • Your presence here IRKS me.
  • I'll IRON my shirt with your skull.
  • The IRONY of this is, I'd much rather be at home knitting.
  • Are you trying to beat me, or just IRRITATE me?
  • You wouldn't believe how much your face IRRITATES me.
  • We are but ISLANDS in the stream, and you're about to sink!
  • I take ISSUE with that, buddy. And by 'that' I mean your face.
  • Man, you've got some real ISSUES, buddy.
  • You'll know I'm really serious when I start talking in ITALIC type!
  • Defeating you will mean one less ITEM on my to-do list.
  • Every dog has ITS day. Today is mine.
  • The only thing you have to fear is fear ITSELF. Oh, and also me.
  • You'll be pushing up IVY soon enough.
  • Who needs to throw a right hook when this JAB will work just as well?
  • See how you fold at the first couple of JABS!
  • All work and no play makes JACK a dull boy. All work and...
  • I'll skin you and make a JACKET out of your hide.
  • Get ready to feel the sting of a thousand yellow JACKETS.
  • You know those little tiny bones in your hands? I'm gonna use them to play JACKS.
  • Don't let this JADE you.
  • I don't mean to sound JADED, but is this really the best you've got?
  • It JADES me to see how easily you are defeated.
  • I'm going on a little destruction JAG, here.
  • Sorry about this, I guess I'm just on one of my murdering JAGS.
  • This is going to feel like being ripped apart by rabid JAGUARS.
  • I'm gonna send you to JAIL. Pain jail!
  • The fury I have JAILED within me is about to be set free!
  • The JAILERS of your fighting prowess haven't released it yet, I see.
  • I won't be your judge or JAILOR, just your executioner!
  • There aren't enough JAILS in the world to contain all my hate for you. Or something.
  • Forget it, JAKE, it's Word Realms.
  • Looks like you're in one helluva JAM, my friend.
  • I'm ready to kick out the JAMS! Also, your teeth!
  • Call a JANITOR - there's about to be a stain on the floor.
  • You should give up fighting and join the League of JANITORS.
  • JAPE all you want, but this is deadly serious.
  • Your JAPES are hurtful and not funny at all.
  • I won't leave any airholes in the JAR for you!
  • Prepare to be JARRED back into reality, fiend!
  • I'm sending you back home to momma in several JARS!
  • Your fear leaves you pales as if you had JAUNDICE!
  • Let's take a little JAUNT down the "come-get-beaten-up" trail!
  • You're JAUNTIER than I would expect for a walking corpse.
  • You think this is a fight, but to me it's just one of my pleasant JAUNTS!
  • I think I'll whistle a JAUNTY tune while I beat you down!
  • I'm gonna tear off your JAW and beat you to death with it.
  • The JAWS of fate are about to snap shut on you.
  • You are obviously a simple-minded or gullible being, otherwise known as a JAY!
  • The vultures, hawks, and even the JAYS will feast on your bones!
  • I'm gonna slice you, dice you, all that JAZZ.
  • I bet you're just JEALOUS of my good looks and unkicked ass.
  • I'll knock you out of one JEAN, and then the other.
  • I'll knock you right out of your JEANS.
  • JEEPERS! Creepers! Where'd you get those... bruises!
  • Even though it's impossible not to, I do know it's impolite to JEER at you.
  • That JEERING sound you hear is me making fun of you. Ha ha!
  • My JEERS will be the last thing you ever hear.
  • This is JELLY for which you are not prepared!
  • You're a real JERK, you know that?
  • I'll tan your hide and make JERKINS out of it!
  • Man, you guys are all such JERKS, it's no wonder nobody likes you.
  • You say you'll survive this attack? Surely, you JEST!
  • I said I wasn't going to kill you, but I JESTED.
  • You think you're a knight? You're not qualified to be the JESTER.
  • You're the least amusing of the many JESTERS I've fought.
  • You think you can beat me? You must be JESTING!
  • All JESTS aside, you seriously do suck.
  • We'll see if you're smiling when a JET of blood is spurting from your chest!
  • Cool your JETS. I'll beat you senseless in a minute.
  • A JEW? Gesundheit!
  • Here's the crown JEWEL of my attacks collection!
  • I wonder what kind of JEWELRY I could make from your teeth.
  • I'll knock the JEWELS out of your crown!
  • This attack will be as awesome as the three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax, that the JEWS have!
  • I dislike the cut of your JIB, so here's a cut of my own!
  • This probably won't JIBE with your idea of a good time.
  • Your demonstrated skill level JIBES with my perception of your ineptitude.
  • I'll dance a JIG on your remains!
  • I'll dance a series of JIGS on your grave!
  • I'm about to launch a JIHAD against your face.
  • You're romancing Death, and I'll make sure you don't JILT him!
  • I'm coming at you with the fury of a thousand JILTED lovers.
  • You'll be left crying when victory JILTS you in favor of me!
  • It's funny how your skull JINGLES when I hit you. Like a windchime.
  • JINX! Now you owe me a drink, and I get to beat you up.
  • Bad luck that you met me today. You must be JINXED.
  • Are you under a bunch of JINXES, or do you always fight so poorly?
  • I... can't think of anything family-friendly to say about JISM.
  • Take this, you JIVE turkey.
  • You'll find my skill JIVES perfectly with my reputation!
  • I wouldn't call beating you a JOB. It's more of a pleasant hobby!
  • I like to think of it as creating JOBS for the mortuary and coffin-making industries.
  • I'm guessing you weren't one of the JOCKS at monster school? Did you run the AV equipment?
  • How about a nice hot cup of JOE. No? Well, how about a beating, then.
  • I see you're yet another of the regular JOES who imagine they're warriors.
  • Perhaps this will JOG your memory.
  • I hope this JOGS your memory.
  • Let's get this over with -- I need to go to the JOHN.
  • Get ready to JOIN your ancestors.
  • You and death are about to be JOINED at the hip.
  • When it comes to the losers' club, looks like you're a JOINER!
  • There are two types of people in the world: Beaters and JOINERS. I'm the former.
  • I bet you feel pretty dumb for JOINING an obviously evil organization now!
  • This attack JOINS my foot and your face!
  • Every JOINT in your body is gonna be sore after this.
  • I'm gonna break so many of your bones, they'll think you're octuple-JOINTED.
  • I will dislocate all of your JOINTS!
  • You're gonna feel like I dropped a roof JOIST on you!
  • I'll hang you from the ceiling JOISTS.
  • You're trying to beat me? What, is this some kind of a JOKE?
  • I JOKED about killing you before, now I'm actually going to do it.
  • You mess with the deck, you're gonna get the JOKER.
  • You're just the latest of all the JOKERS I've smoked!
  • You're the latest in a long series of JOKES whose punchlines I've punched!
  • Did I say I would let you live? Well, I was clearly JOKING.
  • Yes, as a matter of fact, this is how I get my JOLLIES.
  • I'm going to hit you like a JOLT from a car battery!
  • You're about to get JOLTED out of your apathy!
  • Don't mind the JOLTS you're about to feel. That's just me kicking your ass.
  • I've got a JONES for violence, and I'm looking for a fix!
  • I'd tell you that you have a chance to beat me, but I'd hate to JOSH around with you like that.
  • I don't mean to JOSTLE you. I mean to bisect you.
  • Sorry if this attack JOSTLES you. It's meant to kill you.
  • I'll not leave one JOT or tittle of you!
  • Wait a second while that traveling minstrel JOTS down a description of my victory!
  • This attack will deliver uncountable JOULES of force.
  • I'm gonna destroy you, then write about it in my JOURNAL.
  • If this were a JOUST, you'd be buzzard bait.
  • I've JOUSTED with ostriches more skilled than you!
  • I'll hit you like a JOUSTER hits... a different JOUSTER.
  • If you had taken up JOUSTING as a youth, maybe you'd be in better condition now.
  • It's time to bring these little JOUSTS to their foregone conclusion!
  • Well, you're quite JOVIAL for someone who's about to have all their bones broken.
  • This is gonna leave your JOWLS flapping.
  • This is gonna bring me as much JOY as it brings you agony.
  • Beating the crap out of one's intellectual inferiors is one of the great JOYS of life.
  • I JUDGE thee unworthy of continued existence.
  • I have JUDGED you and found you lacking.
  • The JUDGES will bring down their gavels on you!
  • Did I mention that I know JUDO? No? Well, I know JUDO.
  • I'm gonna send you home in a JUG.
  • I'm gonna keep your blood in JUGS and use it to water the flowers on your grave!
  • I'm gonna drain out all your JUICE and make you into your own colostomy bag.
  • You're about to get JUICED like a lemon!
  • You're a bad apple, and I'm going to put you through the JUICER!
  • You're going to end up looking like you've been put through a couple of JUICERS!
  • I'll roast you in your own JUICES!
  • I had a JUICY taunt for you this round, but you're not worth the trouble
  • I'll JUMP your bones! Wait. Crush! I meant crush!
  • Welcome to the JUNGLE! We've got tons of pain!
  • JUNIPER berries taste like your face. By which I mean 'an ass'.
  • Bam! Right in the JUNK!
  • The JURIES are still out. I'll just beat on you until they return.
  • No JURORS will convict me.
  • I'm judge, JURY, court stenographer, and executioner!
  • I'll serve up a beat-down, rare, with au JUS!
  • JUST hold still a moment while I crush your skull.
  • I'm gonna exact JUSTICE for your crimes, creep!
  • All the JUSTICES in the world wouldn't find me guilty if I murdered you!
  • Your limbs will JUT out at odd angles when I'm through with you!
  • Whether it's this fight or a JUTE necktie, the end result's the same for you!
  • You should've eaten your KALE.
  • When it comes to beating you, I'm as KEEN as the edge of a blade!
  • I'll beat you up so cleanly that you'll feel each wound quite KEENLY.
  • KEEP it up, buster -- I'm just getting started.
  • Yeah, that's right -- I play for KEEPS!
  • Let's get this over with. There's a KEG waiting for me back at the tavern.
  • I'll knock the bungs out of your KEGS.
  • This will be a beating beyond your KEN.
  • Yeah, I figured if I KEPT hitting you, you'd go down eventually.
  • Violence is the KEY to a successful adventuring career.
  • Ooh, did you fall on your KEYS? I hate when that happens.
  • KICK, punch, it's all in the mind. And your face.
  • Here's looking at you, KID. I mean murdering. Here's murdering you, KID.
  • Don't worry, you can live with just one KIDNEY. Until I kill you.
  • It's okay, you don't need both KIDNEYS.
  • I'm gonna hit you so hard, your KIDS will be born ugly. Actually I guess that would happen anyway.
  • I could make a clever quip here, but I'd rather just KILL you outright.
  • I won't rest until I've KILLED you and all of your guts!
  • This attack is gonna be a real KILLER. Literally.
  • I'm adding you to my long list of KILLS!
  • This is going to hurt worse than that time you stuck your hand in a KILN.
  • I won't skirt the issue: you're about to be KILT!
  • Do you want men in KILTS playing bagpipes at your funeral?
  • Now would be a good time to contact your next of KIN.
  • You've got the KIND of face I never seem to get tired of hitting.
  • Maybe someday I'll give you a KINDER, gentler beating. Not today, though.
  • Allow me to teach you about the different KINDS of pain.
  • Bow to the KING.
  • KINGS suffer the same ultimate fate as paupers. And also you, very very soon.
  • Excuse me, while I knock you high enough to KISS the sky.
  • You've been KISSED by the specter of death! Or something.
  • Pow! Right in the KISSER!
  • This one's gonna knock your KIT off.
  • Even if you were high as a KITE, I wouldn't stop to check you out!
  • I like you, but I don't fight. Let's fly KITES instead! Just kidding.
  • Where did all you identical jerks come from? Does your boss build you from KITS?
  • Forsooth, ye KNAVE! Yon foul misdeeds endeth here!
  • I used to be an adventurer like you, until I took an arrow in the KNEE.
  • KNEEL before my might!
  • On your KNEES, fiend!
  • I always KNEW you were a bad egg.
  • I'll carve you like a hot KNIFE through butter!
  • I'll bake bread with your bones and KNIT a sweater with your hair!
  • This'll hurt like an avalanche of KNIVES.
  • I'm gonna solve this problem like the Gordian KNOT!
  • I'm gonna tie your neck in KNOTS!
  • I'm actually quite nice if you get to KNOW me. You won't have the chance, though.
  • You should have KNOWN better than to mess with me!
  • I've fought KOALAS with better koalifications than yours!
  • Time for you to go back to the LAB again.
  • Don't LABOR under the delusion that you're gonna survive this.
  • I'll feed you to the LABS, or perhaps the spaniels.
  • I'm gonna put so many holes in you, you'll look like a LACE doily.
  • This pain is not LACED with pleasure. Not even a little bit.
  • I will LACERATE you, and the tears will run down your cheeks.
  • Hey, your LACES are untied. Made you look!
  • I find your impending LACK of teeth... disturbing.
  • I'll hit you so hard you'll start to LACTATE, for some reason!
  • I haven't seen someone fight this poorly since I was a wee LAD!
  • You are LADEN with a surplus of blood. Let me lighten your load.
  • Take this... LADIES.
  • LADY luck has forsaken you, friend!
  • Don't try to blame this on LAG.
  • Let's get this over with. There's a pint of LAGER at the pub with my name on it.
  • I will defeat you, and then drink a variety of ales and LAGERS.
  • Pain often LAGS behind impact, so this might take a few seconds to start hurting.
  • When I've defeated you, you'll be LAID to rest somewhere nice. I have some manners!
  • Why don't you go back to your LAIR of mediocrity?
  • I'll hit you so hard the goblins will feel it in their underground LAIRS!
  • Go jump in a LAKE.
  • I have spilled LAKES of blood, and now I shall spill yours!
  • A one-L LAMA is a priest; a two-L llama is a beast.
  • Little LAMB, who clobbers thee? It's me. I clobber thee.
  • This beating will leave you blind, LAME, and dead.
  • I'm betting nobody's gonna LAMENT your passing.
  • I imagine your mother LAMENTS your decision to get into this line of work.
  • Geez, you guys are even LAMER than I expected.
  • You're a boil on the bum of the world and I'm about to LANCE you!
  • You're the boil and I'm the LANCER!
  • I'll strike you with the strength of 100 LANCES.
  • I'll launch you so high you'll LAND a mile away.
  • When this blow LANDS, you're gonna see some real pain.
  • You're not even fast enough for the slow LANE!
  • You'd better change LANES. You're not fast enough to fight me!
  • Forest creatures will LAP up your blood when this is over.
  • Maybe you should go do some LAPS and stuff, and come back when you're in better shape.
  • Attacking me shows a total LAPSE in judgement on your part.
  • Your crimes (such as LARCENY) require punishment!
  • I'll fry you in LARD and make a sandwich out of you.
  • Your power is as small as mine is LARGE.
  • My largesse will not stop me from delivering the LARGEST defeat you'll ever suffer!
  • It's nothing personal, I'm just doing this on a LARK.
  • Your screaming is as sweet as the song of the LARKS!
  • I'll chop you up and make a nice LASAGNE out of you.
  • My attack is as "focused" as a "LASER" beam!
  • LASERS don't have the precision of my strikes!
  • Defy me, face the LASH.
  • Sorry if I LASHED out at you. Let me do it again!
  • I could beat you with a single one of my eye LASHES!
  • You're in for a serious tongue-LASHING.
  • To say you fight like a young LASS would be demeaning to the gender!
  • I'm gonna hogtie you with a LASSO made of your own guts! Yeehaw!
  • This is my LAST word on the matter!
  • I would have thought you'd have LASTED longer than this.
  • Soon you're gonna be the LATE Mr. or Ms. Ugly Monster Face.
  • I was considering beating you up LATER, but I changed my mind.
  • Are you allergic to LATEX? How about getting punched?
  • I've not broken a sweat and you're LATHERED like a draught horse!
  • I'll bisect you and dispose of you in two different LATRINES.
  • Hurry up and die, my LATTE is getting cold.
  • When offered disgrace or death, choose the LATTER!
  • If nothing else, I guess I should LAUD you for your persistence.
  • Are you trying to make me bleed, or make me LAUGH?
  • I will be the last LAUGHER.
  • Well, we've had some LAUGHS, but it's time to end this.
  • This one's gonna LAUNCH you sky-high.
  • The floor is LAVA, and you're about to fall in.
  • You'll feel like you've been LAVED when I'm through with you!
  • I am the LAW!
  • Get off my LAWN!
  • Aren't there LAWS against this sort of thing? Oh well.
  • I'm no LAWYER, but I still have an objection. To your face.
  • I've been too LAX in my beating-you-up duties. I'll rectify that now.
  • I'll LAY you out!
  • I hate to fight when I could just LAZE about, but since you insist . . .
  • If only you hadn't LAZED around instead of learning to fight!
  • I can tell you're the type who LAZES about instead of training.
  • If you were any LAZIER you'd be classified as a species of lichen.
  • Maybe if you weren't too LAZY to practice, you'd be a better fighter.
  • I can't turn LEAD into gold, but I can smash your face into a pulp.
  • Follow the LEADER. Simon says die!
  • Some people are natural LEADERS. You're natural cannon fodder.
  • The path you're on LEADS nowhere.
  • I used to be a pacifist, but I'm turning over a new LEAF.
  • Whoops! Looks like you've sprung a LEAK!
  • Ooh, I think your blood is LEAKING out.
  • Hmm, you might wanna plug those LEAKS before you try drinking anything.
  • I'm really gonna LEAN into this one.
  • I see that the scale of victory LEANS my way!
  • Go take a flying LEAP off a short pier!
  • It doesn't take any big LEAPS of faith to see I'm going to win this.
  • Man, when are you creeps going to LEARN?
  • I'd have thought you would have LEARNED to fight better by now!
  • You're not ready to fight yet. Just hang back with the LEARNERS.
  • Gee, I guess a monster like you just never LEARNS.
  • Your LEASE on life won't be renewed and you're not getting your deposit back.
  • Looks like someone let their dog off its LEASH!
  • You've just been LEASING your life and I'm here to repossess it!
  • Beating you senseless is the LEAST I can do.
  • Prepare to take your LEAVE of this world.
  • Your impulse to attack me has LED you to your doom! Dooooom!
  • You're about to get some red ink in your LEDGERS!
  • You're a filthy LEECH on society!
  • If I LEER at you, I'm only sizing you up for a coffin!
  • I confess, I've never liked the way your mother LEERS at me.
  • All that's going to be LEFT of you is a puddle of blood and maybe a kidney.
  • Break a LEG. No, wait. I'll do it for you.
  • This technique is so powerful it probably shouldn't be LEGAL.
  • Let's be blunt and cut out the LEGALESE: I'm going to stomp you.
  • This beating will the stuff of LEGEND.
  • I am too LEGIT to surrender to the likes of you!
  • I'm going to cut your LEGS off at the knee!
  • You should take your brain to be serviced, I think you got a LEMON.
  • You can't make lemonade without pulverizing a few LEMONS! Isn't that right, lemon?
  • Will you LEND me an ear, or should I take it by force?
  • Your face LENDS itself well to pummeling.
  • The LENS of history shall see my great victory!
  • If you had glasses I'd break the LENSES!
  • I've given you up for LENT.
  • LES stands for Lower Esophageal Sphincter. Here, let me show you yours.
  • This is gonna hurt me way LESS than it hurts you.
  • Nothing you can do will LESSEN your suffering.
  • You're definitely the LESSER of we two fighters.
  • I hope this painful disembowelment will be a LESSON to you.
  • Welcome to the school of hard knocks. Time for some LESSONS!
  • I fear I shall have to humiliate and slay you, LEST you get the wrong ideas about your station in life.
  • Maybe we can LET bygones be bygones. After I'm done beating you senseless.
  • Get ready for a LETHAL injection of (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • LETS get this over with.
  • Take a LETTER. No, not a LETTER. A (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • This should LEVEL the playing field.
  • I wonder if maybe I'm over-LEVELED for this area.
  • No amount of LEVERS or places to stand will allow you to move me!
  • I'm going to LEVY a tax on your blood! Blood tax.
  • My LEXICAL prowess is... Umm... Real real good.
  • LIAR, LIAR, pants on fire. Let me put them out for you.
  • If your parents told you that you were worth anything, they were LIARS!
  • Not even the LICE in your hair will mourn you!
  • Fair warning: If you come back as a LICH, I'll just kill you again.
  • You won't be LICHEN this one...
  • I'm going to beat you like a drum and LICK you like a lollipop!
  • I'll knock the LID off your bottle. Your bottle being your head.
  • Soon the LIDS of your eyes will close forever!
  • I cannot tell a LIE: This is going to hurt. A lot.
  • Did I say you might win? Sorry. I LIED.
  • Your LIES will get you no further than this.
  • Please accept this concussion in LIEU of a tip.
  • LIFE is short. Yours doubly so.
  • I'm gonna LIFT and separate your head from your body.
  • There's no LIGHT at the end of your tunnel.
  • The difference between us is that I am LIKABLE and you are despicable.
  • You're not gonna LIKE this one bit.
  • You're trying to kill me? I thought you LIKED me!
  • I don't think it's very LIKELY that you'll be walking away from this.
  • My LIKES include long walks on the beach and beating you down!
  • I'll be sure to plant a LILY on your grave.
  • I'm gonna go out on a LIMB and guess that I'm going to break all of yours.
  • I'll bite you harder than a sabre-toothed LIME!
  • I ought to beat you with a sack of LIMES, so you don't get scurvy.
  • I am just about at the LIMIT of my patience.
  • You're gonna walk with a LIMP after this.
  • You crossed the LINE, and now you're gonna pay!
  • The equation of my fighting prowess is geometric, not LINEAR.
  • The cloud of defeat hanging over you isn't silver-LINED!
  • You're not worth using as a LINER on a birdcage!
  • No more witty one-LINERS. Time for pain!
  • Hell, I've forgotten my LINES. Um... die!
  • A LING is a long thin food fish related to the burbot. So there!
  • You're the missing LINK between hilarity and mediocrity!
  • Science has determined that attacking me is LINKED to severe tissue damage.
  • Science has proven definite LINKS between attacking me, and death.
  • I'll discard you like so much pocket LINT.
  • You mess with the LION, you're gonna get the... claws, I guess?
  • I'd throw you to the LIONS if I had any lions.
  • Don't give me none of your LIP!
  • I'll knock all the LIPIDS out of your subcutaneous layer of fat.
  • I'm gonna cut your LIPS off and feed them to you! It will be difficult for you to eat them, because, y'know, no lips.
  • You'll be on a LIQUID diet after this blow.
  • Your various vital LIQUIDS are about to start leaking.
  • I'm gonna beat you so hard, your children will LISP!
  • I have a LIST here of all the ways you disgust me, but it's too long to read out.
  • You'll be LISTED in the obituaries!
  • The problem with you is that you just don't LISTEN.
  • You should have LISTENED to your school guidance counsellor.
  • I told you that you won't win this fight. You're a pretty bad LISTENER.
  • My fuse is LIT and I'm about to blow!
  • Sheesh, you aren't tough. You're like "Monster LITE".
  • This one will cost you at least a LITER of blood.
  • You're stiff as a board and I'm LITHE as an otter!
  • I'll throw you away like so much LITTER.
  • And your LITTLE dog, too!
  • Usually I say LIVE and let live, but in your case I'm making an exception.
  • You'll be sorry you ever LIVED.
  • How much is your LIVER worth on the open market?
  • If you have two LIVERS, I'll stab you in both of them!
  • You better hope you've got nine LIVES.
  • Boy, your boss is gonna be LIVID when he hears how badly you screwed this up.
  • It's time for you to stop LIVING!
  • You're about as fast as a LIZARD on a cold day.
  • Maybe this'll take a LOAD off your neck!
  • You think you can win this? Man, you must be LOADED.
  • You don't scare me, I've fought LOADS of guys just like you!
  • Let's finish this up, I can't LOAF around here all day.
  • They'll bury you beneath the LOAM of the fields.
  • Do you know anyone that can LOAN you some blood, so we can keep going?
  • If I could have LOANED you some talent, I would have.
  • Turns out your life was just a LOANER, and it's time to go back to the shop!
  • I could lend you half my strength and still beat you, but I don't make LOANS!
  • I'm LOATH to let you go free, so I guess I'll just kill you.
  • You know, I'm really starting to LOATHE you.
  • I am filled with an entire Kingdom's worth of LOATHING for you.
  • I'm gonna chisel you a new frontal LOBE!
  • I'll separate the LOBES of your brain!
  • I'd offer you some LOCAL anesthetic, but you'll be unconsious soon anyway.
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) is the key, your face is the LOCK.
  • I've been looking for some sap to beat up, and I just hit the mother LODE!
  • I've been looking for some easy fights, and I think I just found the mother LODES!
  • I'm gonna LODGE this (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) so far up you, you'll be able to taste it.
  • This word was stuck in my throat. I hope it LODGES in yours!
  • Captain's LOG: Today I beat the crap out of an ugly fool.
  • You cannot deny the LOGIC of my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • Killing you is the only LOGICAL course of action.
  • I'll carve a LOGO in your forehead.
  • You only girded one LOIN -- you should've girded all of them.
  • The thought of killing you lights a real fire in my LOINS.
  • It looks to me like you're here to LOITER, not to fight.
  • You're like one of those losers who LOITERS outside the convenience store!
  • You have not one LONE hope of surviving!
  • It's a good thing for you I'm a LONER -- you'd really be screwed if I had a gang.
  • You must have been one of those weirdo LONERS at school.
  • This has been a LONG time coming.
  • I don't think I can handle you being alive much LONGER.
  • Every foe I've fought LONGS for the days before he met me!
  • I need to finish this so I can head to the LOO.
  • Hey, LOOK! It's your spleen!
  • If I LOOKED like you, I'd be begging you to kill me.
  • You're LOOKING a bit... well, ugly. And, evetually, dead.
  • It certainly LOOKS like you don't stand a chance of winning!
  • Soon you will see a dark cloud LOOM over you!
  • Your defeat LOOMS before you!
  • You're as nutty as a LOON. And as loony as a nut, I suppose.
  • Do you hear the LOONS crying on the lake? They're crying for you!
  • Back to the LOONY bin with you.
  • This'll really throw you for a LOOP.
  • Your head will be doing LOOPS by the time I'm done with you!
  • Your mother was of LOOSE moral character!
  • Your teeth look too tight. Let me LOOSEN them for you.
  • I bet that one LOOSENED a few teeth.
  • You're a loser who is about to have LOOSER tendons!
  • I can't wait to see what kind of LOOT you drop!
  • I'll go to the market after I've LOOTED your corpse!
  • I cannot abide a LOOTER. Except when I'm looting my enemies.
  • Buddy, you'd better drop some sweet LOOTS, or I'm gonna be angry.
  • I'll make a throne out of your bones and sit in it while I LORD over everything.
  • Let's play LORDS and serfs. I'll be the lord.
  • This beating will be the stuff of LORE.
  • I've studied the LORES of many cultures, and in none of them are you a good fighter.
  • You're gonna feel like you got run over by a whole convoy of LORRIES.
  • It's not whether you win or LOSE, it's whether I win or LOSE.
  • You're a LOSER, so why don't I kill you?
  • Don't feel bad. Every battle has LOSERS.
  • I am a fighter who never LOSES!
  • Buddy, you are literally fighting a LOSING battle here.
  • You'll be at a LOSS to describe this pain.
  • You look a little LOST. Maybe you should go home to your mommy!
  • My plan is to hit you a LOT, until you die or run away.
  • I thought I told you to put the LOTION in the basket.
  • Your body parts all drew LOTS, and bad news -- your face lost.
  • This might get LOUD.
  • Actions speak LOUDER than words. Allow me to demonstrate.
  • Don't LOUSE about; at least try and make an effort to fight me!
  • If you're trying to win this fight, you're doing a LOUSY job!
  • You're an ornery LOUT.
  • Stomp on your head? Why, I'd LOVE to!
  • I'm a fighter, not a LOVER.
  • In another life, we might have been LOVERS. Just kidding.
  • Man, I just LOVES me some gratuitous violence.
  • I'm LOVING this as much as you must be hating it.
  • I apologize in advance for this LOW blow.
  • If you expect to survive this fight, you should LOWER your expectations.
  • I'll devour you like a bagel topped with delicious LOX!
  • After this fight you won't be LUCID. You won't even be conscious!
  • Your LUCK has run out.
  • Okay, you might get a LUCKY hit in, but your luck's gonna run out soon enough!
  • Take this, you big LUG.
  • How many of you LUGS do I have to beat before I get to see your boss?
  • This is gonna leave a LUMP on your head.
  • If we still had a moon, I would knock you into LUNAR orbit!
  • I need to get some LUNCH after this. Know any good restaurants nearby?
  • Let's see how sassy you are with a freshly-punctured LUNG!
  • You should have done a LUNGE or two to limber up for this!
  • Even if you've been doing LUNGES and crunches, I'll still beat you!
  • It won't be long before your last breath leaves your LUNGS!
  • Here's where I LURE you into my trap! ...Are you lured yet?
  • I'll reel you in like a fisherman LURES a fish!
  • I shall spare your next of kin the LURID details of your demise!
  • Maybe you should LURK more before attempting to participate.
  • You're staggering around like a LUSH!
  • My LUST for violence can only be sated by your defeat.
  • Sissy bards will compose LUTE ballads about this victory.
  • The bards shall sing of me while they strum their LUTES!
  • I'm gonna dip you in LYE and make soap out of you.
  • Songs of this victory will be composed for the LYRE and the digeridoo.
  • I'm gonna shove my weapon up your ass, and call it MACARONI.
  • A MACE and a battleaxe wouldn't help you!
  • You're gonna feel like you've been MACED, and I don't mean with a spray can.
  • I'll leave you feeling like you've been beaten with MACES!
  • I'm like a well-oiled MACHINE.
  • You must be MAD if you think you can beat me!
  • Now look what you've gone and MADE me do!
  • The most learned MAGE could not help you defeat me!
  • Not even the most skilled MAGES will be able to bring you back from where I will send you!
  • Not even the most potent MAGIC could help you!
  • The most eldritch of MAGICS will not avail you!
  • Boy, you're just a (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) MAGNET, huh?
  • Do you have a MAID? Because I'm not gonna clean up this mess.
  • Today will mark your MAIDEN voyage to the Great Beyond.
  • I don't think many MAIDENS will mourn at your funeral.
  • I'll make a mess of you for the MAIDS to clean up!
  • I'm gonna MAIL you home in a box!
  • You'll have to be MAILED home in a number of tiny boxes after this!
  • I'll squash you so flat you'll fit in a MAILER.
  • The finest-wrought MAILS won't protect you from my attacks!
  • Your face isn't the MAIN reason I'm beating the hell out of you, but it helps.
  • You're about as smart as an ear of MAIZE, or "corn," as we call it.
  • I hope you're ready for a MAJOR head-stomping.
  • You just had to go and MAKE me angry, didn't you?
  • Prepare to meet your MAKER!
  • I'm gonna send you to meet your MAKERS: The Ugly Jerk Factory, Inc.
  • Your face really MAKES me angry.
  • You're MAKING a real ass of yourself, bucko.
  • MALE or female, I'll beat the stuffing out of you!
  • I defeat all foes, MALES and females alike.
  • I want you to know I don't bear you any MALICE. Ha ha! Just kidding.
  • Is there a MALL around here? I'd kill for a giant pretzel.
  • Are you MALNOURISHED? Is that why this is so easy?
  • Did your mother sue the midwife for MALPRACTICE?
  • I'll beat you senseless and then go have a MALT!
  • Go ahead and run! Run home and cry to MAMA!
  • Oh MAN, you're gonna feel that in the morning.
  • The MANAGEMENT regrets to inform you that your services are no longer required.
  • I'm going to kick you like a mule. This is the MANE event!
  • Is your hair always like that, or do you have MANGE?
  • Your head's so full of hay I could use you as a MANGER!
  • I'm gonna MANGLE you.
  • Begone, thou MANGY cur!
  • Whoo, I'm kind of MANIC today. I should cut down on the coffee.
  • You think you're pretty MANLY, huh? Pfft, yeah right.
  • Well, at least you're behaving in a MANNER befitting your role as a brainless mook.
  • I'm about to teach you some MANNERS!
  • I'm totally gonna beat you, MANO a... well, whatever you are.
  • Time for me to take up the MANTLE of the victor!
  • There are so MANY ways I could kill you, it's hard to choose just one.
  • I hope you packed your MAP, because you're about to go on a trip to Pain Town.
  • I'm going to tap you like a MAPLE tree!
  • Your final resting place won't be marked on any MAPS!
  • I hope this doesn't MAR your good looks! Ha ha ha, just kidding.
  • You may claim to be a marauder, but you can't MARAUD like I can!
  • I'll break you like a MARE.
  • When you sleep you shall be visited by the MARES of the night!
  • Who needs MARINES when you are a one-adventurer army?
  • MARK my words -- you're going down!
  • You're MARKED for death, buster!
  • Are you in the MARKET for a beating? Because I'm selling!
  • Perhaps you should frequent the MARKETS and see if someone will sell you more fighting prowess!
  • This is going to leave a mark. Or perhaps several MARKS.
  • Your presence has MARRED this world for too long.
  • Your face and my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) are about to get MARRIED.
  • I won't MARRY you, but we will be together 'til your death do us part!
  • Let's hope this blow MARS your skin!
  • Did you buy all your gear at "Hench-MART" or something?
  • Prepare to be MARTYRED for your sins!
  • Is your MASCARA running? I guess you'd better catch it!
  • You should be the MASCOT for the Empire City Losers.
  • I'm gonna MASH you like the world's ugliest potato!
  • You'll look like a bowl of MASHED potatoes when I'm through with you!
  • Your face is like a potato, and my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) is a MASHER.
  • Do you have a MASK or something? Your face is putting me off.
  • I wish you were some kind of MASKED assassin, so I wouldn't have to look at your face.
  • Are all you guys wearing MASKS, or do you really look like that?
  • You're attacking me? you must be some kind of MASOCHIST
  • If I were a MASON, I'd wall you up in my basement.
  • I'm a weapon of MASS destruction!
  • You couldn't be captain of a ship. You're not even smart enough to be the MAST!
  • When this is over, you'll call me MASTER!
  • I see you've MASTERED the art of Ugly Stupid Jerkwad-Fu.
  • I have a MASTERS degree in thrashing you soundly!
  • Do you have MASTERY of any fighting tactic besides missing and whining?
  • I'll use your hide for a door MAT.
  • Yeah, I've got a MATCH -- your face and my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword)!
  • How would you like a MATCHED set of fractured ribs?
  • You're about to get tossed on the barbie, MATE.
  • You'll wish your parents had never MATED!
  • You're about to no longer be lviing in a MATERIAL world!
  • Looks like you and defeat are best MATES!
  • I've done the MATH, and my calculations say you're a jerk.
  • Maybe they'll find what's left of you at the MATINEE!
  • Are you fighting or MATING?
  • What's the MATTER? Can't take a joke? Or a beating?
  • Nothing really MATTERS.
  • MAUGRE thy unsightly visage, I shan't take pity upon thee!
  • I fight like a bear, and it's time for you to take a trip to the MAUL!
  • Let me be the latest person who MAULS you like a bear!
  • I'll hurl you into the gaping MAW of the underworld!
  • You're grody to the MAX.
  • My 'Annoyed' meter is MAXED out, and it's time to activate the power attack!
  • This hit far from MAXES out my fighting capacity!
  • MAY day! You're going down!
  • MAYBE you shouldn't have picked a fight with me.
  • You will forever wander a MAZE of pain!
  • If maze was a verb, this attack would leave you MAZED!
  • It a-MAZES me that anyone could be as inept as you.
  • I'm gonna finish this fight quickly, so I can get back to drinking MEAD.
  • Your MEAGER skills are no match for my prowess!
  • You'll never beat me with such MEAGRE skills!
  • I hope you enjoyed your last MEAL...
  • Soon the worms will make MEALS of your carcass!
  • You are a MEALY-mouthed buffoon.
  • I've got a real MEAN streak. Wanna see it?
  • I've had MEANER foes, but never uglier. So congratulations, I guess.
  • You realize, this MEANS war.
  • When I said, "only one of us gets out alive," I MEANT me.
  • You look like you've been run through a MEAT grinder.
  • I'm gonna butcher you into a wide variety of MEATS!
  • One more MEATY punch from me and it's lights out for you!
  • You won't win a MEDAL for this fight. You're barely qualifying for a participant ribbon!
  • I've won numerous MEDALS for my bravery and fighting prowess.
  • Do you need me to call for a MEDIC?
  • You'll need prompt MEDICAL attention after this.
  • The MEEK may inherit the earth, but the strong will win this fight!
  • Your face is about to MEET my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • This is the sound of my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) MEETING your face.
  • Here's where your face MEETS my foot!
  • I'm not just going to kill you, I'm going to MEGA-kill you.
  • Try to steal the MEL, you're gonna get stung!
  • Here's the part where I MELD my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) with your liver.
  • I'll split you like a MELON.
  • If you had more than one skull, I'd crust them both like rotten MELONS!
  • Prepare to split open and MELT.
  • Has your face MELTED, or do you always look like that?
  • I can see your resolve MELTING like a butter fireplace poker.
  • The heat of my anger MELTS your icy resolve!
  • MEMO to self: Defeat this opponent.
  • I've bested better MEN than you.
  • This'll be a hard wound to MEND.
  • These wounds will never be MENDED.
  • My name is M.C. MENSES and my flow is fresh!
  • You're MENTAL if you think you can beat me.
  • My MENTOR warned me about foes like you.
  • What's on the MENU for tonight? Five courses of pain.
  • I can't show MERCY to someone so incredibly annoying!
  • I will never be defeated by a MERE... er, whatever you are.
  • This will be more of a hostile takeover than a MERGER.
  • I'm negotiating several MERGERS between my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) and your internal organs.
  • You should start cheating. You'll never beat me on MERIT!
  • I'll dispatch you and be on my MERRY way.
  • You'll be a bloody MESS when I'm done with you.
  • I don't mind killing fools like you, but I do mind the MESSES you leave.
  • Your first mistake was MESSING with me!
  • I'm glad this isn't my best shirt, 'cause this is gonna get MESSY.
  • You'll be sorry you ever MET me.
  • I'm too METAL for one hand!
  • I'll test your mettle with a clash of METALS!
  • You're gonna feel like a METEOR struck you!
  • I'm gonna hit you so hard, people will think your teeth are METEORS. Or something.
  • The time on your METER is almost up. Soon you will be expired!
  • You'll die by inches and I'll win by METERS!
  • Allow me to demonstrate my new killing METHOD.
  • Get ready for a METRIC buttload of pain.
  • The cat says MEW, the bastard says "Please don't kill me, aargh."
  • You future is nothing but rain, pain, sadness and MIASMA.
  • I'll shatter your bones like thin sheets of MICA!
  • I'm gonna hollow out your skull for MICE to live in!
  • I'll split you right down the MIDDLE.
  • I MIGHT have gone easy on you, if you weren't so ugly.
  • Time for you to MIGRATE from this world to the next!
  • Maybe you should try some extra-spicy attacks instead of these MILD ones?
  • I was going to obliterate you, but I'll do a MILDER attack and just eviscerate you.
  • I'm going to kick you a MILE down the road!
  • I'll knock you so high into the air you'll be able to see for MILES.
  • Your pain is like mother's MILK to me.
  • You've certainly MILKED this fight for all it's worth. Time to end it!
  • You're just a run-of-the-MILL opponent.
  • After this fight, it is definitely MILLER time.
  • I wouldn't pass up this opportunity for a MILLION gold coins.
  • Let's not MINCE words. On second thought, let's.
  • I'm going to make a MINCED meat pie out of you!
  • Let me introduce you to my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword). It slices, it dices, it MINCES, and it's coming straight at your face!
  • You don't MIND if I pulverize your organs, do you? Great.
  • I'm of two MINDS -- should I kill you quickly, or painfully?
  • All of your possessions will be MINE!
  • I'll unearth this victory the way I once MINED for fish!
  • I'll pound you into the ground so deep it'll take a MINER to find you!
  • It'll take MINERS years to find all your pieces!
  • You'd be better off working in the salt MINES!
  • You're gonna need some last rites. I'd summon a MINISTER now, if I were you.
  • This wound will be anything but MINOR.
  • I majored in violence and MINORED in theater.
  • I'm sending you back to the MINORS!
  • Your doctor bill is gonna cost a MINT.
  • You're an old fighter about to become a freshly MINTED corpse!
  • Is that a glass eye? I sure hope you don't keep MINTS in it.
  • You're worn out and I'm still MINTY fresh!
  • Let's see what you look like MINUS your face!
  • This shouldn't take more than a MINUTE.
  • This fight should only take a couple of MINUTES.
  • You might think you see a glimmer of hope on the horizon, but it's just a MIRAGE.
  • You won't escape the MIRE of despondency you'll feel after I beat you!
  • Let's not get MIRED in pointless debate, here.
  • My sadness at having to beat you MIRES me down, but I'll overcome it!
  • Your comical antics fill me with MIRTH.
  • I don't want you to think I'm a MISER, so I'm sharing the pain!
  • I'm not like the MISERS; I freely give beat-downs to all who ask for them!
  • MISERY loves company, so let's add you to the group!
  • I won't say that I've missed you before, and I'm not going to MISS this time, either!
  • Ah, I've MISSED a nice, challenging fight. And I still miss it, actually.
  • You can't stop me. I'm on a MISSION from the Gods. Or at least Steve at the Butcher Shop.
  • I'm going to turn your entire torso into a thin red MIST.
  • That attack was so beautiful, I MISTED up a little.
  • All right, jerkwad -- no more MISTER nice guy!
  • Soon your name will be lost in the MISTS of time!
  • I'll try not to get too MISTY when I think about how I killed you.
  • You're about as threatening as a dust MITE!
  • I'll leave a 45-degree angled cut through you, without the use of a MITER!
  • I've been hit harder by dust MITES!
  • I shall make sure the bishop wears his MITRE at your funeral!
  • I'm going to make MITTENS out of... well, some part of you.
  • Let's throw some violence into the MIX.
  • You should know that I've studied MIXED martial arts!
  • I serve my beat-downs straight: no ice and no MIXER!
  • I'll deliver a pain cocktail straight up with no MIXERS!
  • I'm not the kind who MIXES business and pleasure, but I am kind of enjoying this.
  • Killing you is MIXING business and pleasure!
  • MOAN and groan all you want -- your fate is sealed.
  • Did you know your mom's a MOANER? It's true.
  • I will remain deaf to your final MOANS!
  • The next would-be attacker will have to cross a MOAT of your blood!
  • They'll be able to fill multiple MOATS with the blood I'm about to spill.
  • When I'm through with you, you'll look like you got stomped by an angry MOB!
  • You're not a competent fighter. You're barely MOBILE!
  • I've beaten MOBS of enemies tougher than you!
  • MOCK my smock, and I'll clean your clock!
  • Should I beat you up in a Mixolydian or Dorian MODE?
  • My preferred MODEL of the universe does not include you in a living state.
  • Maybe there will be some beautiful MODELS waiting for you in the afterlife. Probably not, though.
  • There's no room for you in this MODERN era.
  • You're gonna feel like you've been run over by various MODES of transportation!
  • There's no need to be MODEST when you can fight like I can!
  • I'll spill your MOIST and clammy guts!
  • I'll MOISTEN my weapon with your blood!
  • You'll be considerably MOISTER after I knock you into a puddle.
  • I'll make myself a necklace out of your MOLAR!
  • I'll knock out your MOLARS and make a necklace out of them!
  • They broke the MOLD when they made me.
  • In a month I'll come back and see what MOLDS have grown on your corpse!
  • You're already kind of MOLDY, so being dead won't change much.
  • I'm gonna bury you so deep, even a MOLE won't find you.
  • I'll knock the MOLES right off your chin.
  • I'm going to MOLEST you, but not in the sexual sense. Gross.
  • Are you going to MOLT and turn into an even uglier creature?
  • MOLTEN lava does not burn as hot as my wrath!
  • You're as helpless as a snake when it MOLTS!
  • When you get to Hell, tell your MOM I said hello.
  • Nine out of ten MOMS agree: you need to die. Sadly, your own mother was one of the nine.
  • I'm going to stomp your face, and I won't stop for love or MONEY.
  • I'm a fighter, not a MONK!
  • I'm gonna skin you like a MONKEY skins a banana.
  • You should get your money back from the MONKS who taught you these fighting techniques.
  • Some MONSTER you are. Did they get you from a temp agency?
  • My aim is to rid the world of MONSTERS like you.
  • You're gonna be spending the next few MONTHS in a hospital, buddy.
  • If you're going to fight like a cow, here's a MOO for you!
  • This isn't gonna do your MOOD any good.
  • Let's get this over with. I'm not in one of my better MOODS.
  • Geez, why do you have to be so MOODY all the time?
  • One of these days . . . Bang! Zoom! To the MOON!
  • One of these days, bang! Zoom! Straight to the powdered remains of the MOONS!
  • Your spirit will forever wander the MOOR!
  • Go back to haunting the MOORS, you wretch!
  • You smell like a MOOSE in a swamp!
  • All of your points are MOOT. Take this!
  • I'm going to MOP the floor with you!
  • I'll dispatch you quickly; it's painful to see you MOPE about.
  • It's gonna take a lotta MOPS to clean up the mess I'm gonna turn you into.
  • The MORAL of the story is, don't pick a fight with the hero.
  • Your MORALS are very questionable.
  • When you picked a fight with this eel, you didn't realize it was a MORAY.
  • You want some MORE? Do you?
  • I'm afraid local MORES demand that I pummel you senseless.
  • Good MORNING! This is your nine o'clock wake-up beating!
  • Get a brain, MORON.
  • I'll put an end to your MORONIC shenanigans.
  • Why are henchmen and monsters always such MORONS?
  • I'll try not to be MOROSE about how quickly this fight's going to be over!
  • Look, you've lost. If I pound it out on your skull in MORSE code, will you get the message?
  • Prepare to shuffle off your MORTAL coil.
  • Did you bring your own MORTICIANS, or shall we provide some for you?
  • If you didn't want to get hurt, you shouldn't have gotten in the MOSH pit.
  • You move so slowly I'm surprised you're not covered in MOSS!
  • Maybe you could move your MOSSY behind a little bit faster? I've got plans tonight.
  • I would say you winning is MOST unlikely!
  • I MOSTLY beat you at night. MOSTLY.
  • There may be a MOTE in my eye, but there's about to be a fist in yours!
  • You smell worse than a MOTEL bathroom.
  • I've had more satisfying fights against dust MOTES!
  • Like a MOTH to the flame, my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) to your face.
  • By the way, tell your MOTHER I said hello.
  • The worms will eat your body. The MOTHS can have your clothes.
  • Oh come on, you're just going through the MOTIONS. Fight me for real!
  • No complicated MOTIVES here; I just want to beat you!
  • You'll MOULDER in a grave for eternity until you're all skull-y!
  • I'll place a cross on your burial MOUND!
  • Can you look meaner? I'd like to stuff your head and MOUNT it on my wall.
  • Your head would look great MOUNTED on a plaque in my den.
  • The tension MOUNTS . . . just kidding. We both know I'm going to win.
  • It must be sad to know that nobody will MOURN your death.
  • No one MOURNS your fate.
  • Are you a man or a MOUSE? You certainly squeak like the latter.
  • Let's see if my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) will fit in your MOUTH.
  • Bam! Your MOVE, sucker!
  • You'll wish you had MOVED out of the way of this.
  • I'm a MOVER and a shaker, I'm a spinal column breaker!
  • You're clearly not one of the MOVERS and shakers!
  • Oh yeah! I've got the sexy MOVES, baby!
  • If they made a MOVIE of this, you'd be played by... I don't know, a bag of slugs or something.
  • Do you like MOVIES about gladiators?
  • I'm gonna MOW you down like weeds in a wheatfield! Or something.
  • Let's face it, kid. You don't have the magic, the muscles, or the MOXIE to beat me!
  • You don't even know how MUCH trouble you're in, buddy.
  • I'll toss you into the MUCK of the thoroughfare.
  • This will teach you to be one of the MUCKERS about in others' business!
  • I'm gonna pound you so far into the MUD they'll need a backhoe to free you.
  • I'll MUDDLE you like the mint in a mojito!
  • I'm sick of your ugly MUG.
  • I've seen uglier MUGS than yours, but not many.
  • I'm as stubborn as a MULE and as strong as an ox.
  • This is going to feel like being trampled by a team of MULES.
  • MULL this over for a while.
  • That could have been better. Can I take a MULLIGAN?
  • Did you know I'm MULTILINGUAL? I can kick your ass in three different languages!
  • I am going to hit you MULTIPLE times! So there!
  • I am going to hit you MULTIPLE times! So there!
  • I am going to hit you MULTIPLE times! So there!
  • I am going to hit you MULTIPLE times! So there!
  • It's not MURDER, it's putting you out of your misery!
  • There's gonna be two MURDERS today. Me murdering you, and... Actually, I guess there will only be one.
  • I've got more MUSCLE in my ear than you have in your whole body!
  • You don't stand a chance against my huge MUSCLES!
  • You must be the MUSE of beatings, because I'm feeling really creative.
  • I have often MUSED upon why fools keep stepping to me, but never figured out why they do.
  • The MUSES of extreme violence are inspiring me!
  • They're gonna put you on display in the pain MUSEUM. In an exhibit about pain.
  • There'll be nothing left of you but MUSH when I'm through.
  • I'll smash you into MUSHY residue.
  • Your grunts of pain are like MUSIC to my ears.
  • What is that weird MUSK I smell? When did you last take a bath?
  • This attack is likely to MUSS your hair. And also kill you.
  • Beat me? You MUST be joking.
  • I'm about to hit you with all the strength I can MUSTER, and I can MUSTER a lot.
  • Brag all you want now; soon you'll be MUTE!
  • Your cries of pain will not be MUTED!
  • Let's hope this MUTES your endless chatter!
  • I considered hiring someone to beat you, but I decided to do it MYSELF.
  • I don't mean to NAG, but could you just die, already?
  • Not the slightest worry about losing this fight NAGS at me!
  • I guess I could be merciful and let you go, but... NAH.
  • I'm gonna fight you tooth and NAIL! And fist!
  • You couldn't fight worse if you had one foot NAILED to the floor!
  • I'm tough as NAILS!
  • This fight could only be more embarrassing for you if you were NAKED!
  • I ate guys like you for breakfast back in NAM.
  • You'll be sorry you ever heard my NAME.
  • Life ain't easy for a foe NAMED... whatever your name is.
  • NAMES can't hurt you, but my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) sure can.
  • I think I'll take a NAP. Wake me when I'm done killing you.
  • I'll toss you out of here by the NAPE of your neck.
  • I could take three NAPS right now and you still couldn't win!
  • Ouch, right in the NARD!
  • I hope you're flexible, because you're gonna want to kiss your NARDS goodbye!
  • You offend my honor, my aesthetics, and my NASAL cavities!
  • You are definitely the NASTIEST freak I've ever tangled with.
  • I considered writing you a NASTY letter, but I decided to just kill you instead.
  • It would take a NATION to beat me!
  • They should declare a NATIONAL holiday in honor of me killing you.
  • All the NATIONS of the world can come together and laugh about how pathetic you are.
  • Gosh, you're a real NATURAL at taking a blow to the head!
  • Don't take it personally, I just have a violent NATURE.
  • I'm normally very good NATURED, but you've caught me on a bad day.
  • Even if you took sanctuary in the NAVE of a church I would beat you, knave!
  • Oh yeah? You and what NAVY?
  • Will you win? NAY.
  • The hour of your defeat draws NEAR!
  • I'm about to render you NEARLY headless.
  • This battle NEARS its inevitable conclusion: your destruction!
  • It'd be really NEAT if you just gave up.
  • I'm gonna break your NECK.
  • I have a NEED to see you bleed.
  • Put the NEEDLE on the record when the drum beats go like this!
  • You need to fight me; I need to beat you. We all have NEEDS!
  • NEON is pretty cool, but I prefer argon.
  • Take this, NERD.
  • You've got a lot of NERVE...
  • You're so ugly, I bet your mother has literal empty NEST syndrome, due to being an actual vulture.
  • My weapon's about to be NESTLED deep in your guts!
  • The vultures in their NESTS are waiting to sample your flesh!
  • This will result in a NET loss of blood for you.
  • Now you see -- a life of crime NETS only disaster.
  • I will NEUTER you like a stray dog!
  • Will I give up or surrender? NEVER!
  • I'm gonna tear you a NEW hole!
  • Start spreading the NEWS: I'm breaking your face.
  • You're as insignificant as a NEWT!
  • If you think this hurts, just wait until the NEXT one.
  • We have reached the NEXUS of my fist and your face!
  • Sure is a NICE day for an ass-kicking.
  • If you were NICER, stuff like this wouldn't happen to you.
  • Is your face always like that, or did you NICK youself shaving with a chainsaw?
  • I am ashamed to even think the word NIGGER.
  • NIGGERS? Uh, let's just pretend I said SNIGGER instead.
  • Say good NIGHT, Gracie.
  • Frankly, your chances of survival are NIL.
  • We'll see how NIMBLY you dodge with all your legs missing.
  • I hope you have NINE lives, because just one would be way too easy.
  • I'm dressed to the NINES, and you're only dressed to the threes or fours.
  • You forgot I was a NINJA, mothereffer!
  • I attack with the speed and skill of four NINJAS.
  • I'll have a NIP of whiskey, then clobber you.
  • I'd gut you to make sausages, but you're probably full of NITRITES.
  • Let's get down to the NITTY gritty, here.
  • I'll NIX your antics right quick.
  • You're about to be NIXED.
  • This attack NIXES any chance you had of winning, buddy!
  • I don't even have to know what NIXIES are to beat you!
  • Oh, you must be fighting poorly to make me feel better. How NOBLE.
  • It is NOBLER to destroy you than to abide your existence.
  • Does this hurt? Just NOD if this hurts.
  • Allow me to connect the "You" node with the "dead" NODE!
  • I'll knock your lymph NODES out through your nose.
  • My fighting style receives NODS of approval from all onlookers.
  • You won't live past the end of this fight. Hope you enjoyed your last NOEL.
  • I'm gonna raise a cup of NOG to toast your funeral.
  • When I'm done here, I'll go enjoy some classical NOH theatre? I guess?
  • Your defeat will be as grim and unrelenting as film NOIR!
  • What's that NOISE, you ask? It's the sound of your impending doom.
  • Soon I'll find out what kind of NOISES your skull makes when I hit it.
  • This is going to be a NOISY fight unless you're resolved to die silently!
  • NOMEN are islands!
  • How much uglier could you be? NONE. None more ugly.
  • I'm gonna beat your ass from midnight to NOON.
  • If this fight was a hanging, my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) would be the NOOSE.
  • Are you going to survive this fight? NOPE.
  • When I'm done with you, there'll be neither hide NOR hair remaining.
  • Your face is an extreme deviation from the NORM.
  • Don't worry if you lose to me. That's NORMAL!
  • I'll knock your head NORTH and your ass south.
  • I'll cut off your NOSE to spite your face!
  • I wish you had two NOSES so I could break them both!
  • I'll leave you alone this round. NOT.
  • I'll make a NOTE of how easy this was once you're defeated!
  • Your objections are NOTED. Ignored, but NOTED.
  • Take some NOTES on this beat-down, and maybe you'll do better next time.
  • There's NOTHING I like better than beating the crap out of jerks.
  • You're definitely going to NOTICE this one.
  • Your delightful conversational skills NOTWITHSTANDING, I've decided that I'm forced to kill you.
  • I'm about to go NOVA on you.
  • Are you losing on purpose? It's a NOVEL strategy, but not very effective.
  • NOW I lay thee down to... dead!
  • You're missing a few subtle NUANCES of the fighter's art.
  • You've worn my patience down to a NUB.
  • I'm exercising the NUCLEAR option!
  • I could defeat you NUDE with both hands tied behind my back.
  • I'm glad your hideous form isn't in my extensive collection of NUDES!
  • I guess it could be worse -- you could be a NUDIST.
  • If this attack doesn't work, I'll NUKE the planet from orbit to be sure.
  • Even an arsenal of NUKES wouldn't help you win this fight!
  • There'll be nothing left of you. Zip. Zilch. NULL. Nada.
  • I'm gonna hit you so hard, your children will go NUMB!
  • That's it, buddy -- your NUMBER is up!
  • You fight like a NUN.
  • I will strike you with the fury of a thousand NUNS.
  • You're going to need a doctor, a NURSE, and an undertaker when I'm through with you!
  • They're gonna need a whole army of NURSES to fix this damage!
  • Sometimes you feel like a NUT, sometimes I pummel you.
  • You must be some kind of NUTCASE to attack me!
  • NUTS to you.
  • Man! Is your skull made of OAK or something?
  • I'll fell you like a series of OAKS.
  • You'll be up the creek without an OAR.
  • I'll defeat you before you have time to eat a single OAT.
  • Sorry, I swore a solemn OATH to leave no douchebag unstabbed.
  • I'm gonna grind you up and use you to flavor my morning OATMEAL.
  • I'm really feeling my OATS now.
  • Your OBIT will be short and gruesome.
  • I don't have time to play an OCARINA! I need to win this fight!
  • You're about to set sail on an OCEAN of pain!
  • I have crossed OCEANS of time to beat you up.
  • This'll raise you voice a couple of OCTAVES.
  • That's ODD -- I didn't expect this fight to be such a pushover.
  • Man, why are all of you guys such ODDBALLS?
  • ODDS are, you're not getting out of this alive. Place your bets!
  • They're gonna sing an ODE to the glory of this beatdown!
  • What you smell is the ODOR of victory! Not yours, mine.
  • You offend my honor and my sense of smell and I shall strike you down, ODOROUS knave!
  • Your foul ODORS assault my nasal passages!
  • I'll be escorting you OFF this mortal coil!
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) is about to make you an OFFER you can't refuse.
  • I'm gonna send you to the principal's OFFICE... of pain!
  • I'm taking your ass OFFLINE!
  • My plan is to beat you early and OFTEN.
  • I'll teach you to OGLE me!
  • I'll suck the marrow from your bones like an OGRE!
  • Man, I've met OGRES with better dental hygiene than you.
  • I'll boil you in OIL!
  • I'm gonna take you apart like a well-OILED machine!
  • There won;t be anything left of you but a puddle of miscellaneous OILS!
  • You going to OINK all day long, little piggy, or are you gonna bite?
  • Hold still a minute while I beat the hell out of you, OKAY?
  • I hate you almost as much as I hate OKRA!
  • Your company is getting OLD quickly.
  • Since there's no audience, do me a favor and shout OLE when I stab you.
  • I'll crush you like a grape, or perhaps an OLIVE.
  • I'm here to eat OLIVES and kick ass. Wait. I don't even like OLIVES.
  • The alphabet of your life is about to reach the OMEGA.
  • I won't OMIT a single one of your bones from this litany of fractures!
  • I'm only going to tell you this ONCE.
  • Here comes the old ONE two punch.
  • I'll dispatch you, then drink a couple of cold ONES.
  • This will ONLY hurt a little. No. Wait. I meant a lot.
  • This is the part where I knock you ONTO your ass, ass.
  • Your face will be as black as ONYX and as blue as Lapis Lazuli when I'm done with you.
  • Boy, you sure have a lot of guts in you. Like OODLES of guts.
  • OOH, you're gonna feel that in the morning.
  • OOPS -- sorry, was that your ear?
  • I'm gonna turn you into thin, watery OOZE.
  • Let's see if your blood OOZES as satisfyingly as I think it will.
  • I'm running the pain store, and we're OPEN for business!
  • This jar of whoop-arse OPENS now!
  • Religion is the OPIATE of the masses, but violence is the OPIATE of your face.
  • I'll bet you wish you could OPT out of this.
  • This attack will be my magnum OPUS!
  • As a zoologist might say, I'm gonna cut you some new ORA.
  • Got an ORAL fixation? Try chewing on my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword)!
  • I'm going to peel you like an ORANGE!
  • Comparing a loser like you to a warrior like me is comparing apples to ORANGES!
  • I ORDER you to die!
  • The world is full of chaos, and I am the ORDERER!
  • I'll smelt you like so much ORE.
  • You're an ORGAN donor, right?
  • I guess technically you're an ORGANISM. You know, like a sea slug.
  • I hope you weren't using all of those internal ORGANS.
  • Sorry, but stabbing monsters to death is the only way I can have an ORGASM.
  • It is kind of inappropriate and weird to be thinking about ORGASMS right now.
  • Prepare for an ORGY of violence.
  • I'm gonna cut you a new ORIFICE!
  • You should have spent more time with the toot ORIOLE!
  • I'll make an ORNATE sculpture out of your bones.
  • I'm gonna tear you up like a wild OSTRICH!
  • You got any OTHER clever things to say before I kill you?
  • Are there any OTHERS like you? Because I can never stop at just one.
  • OUCH, that really looks like it hurt.
  • What's OURS is OURS, and also what's yours is OURS.
  • I'm taking you OUT.
  • It's cute how you guys all have matching OUTFITS.
  • Your chalk OUTLINE is gonna be a shapeless blob.
  • Your weapon isn't exactly OUTRACING your tongue, buddy.
  • I can see I'm gonna have to teach you the ins and OUTS of combat.
  • I think I'd prefer your blood to be on the OUTSIDE of your body.
  • Your face is my least favorite OVAL.
  • My fury burns hotter than a hundred OVENS.
  • It's OVER for you, scumbag!
  • Your manner of death will be elaborate and OVERCOMPLICATED.
  • By the way, you OWE me for wear and tear on my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • You'll be OWED an apology after this, but you won't get one.
  • You boss OWES me for wear and tear on this (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • I'm going to twist your head around like an OWL.
  • There won't be anything left of you for the OWLS to eat.
  • This is your OWN fault.
  • Man! This (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) totally OWNS!
  • They're gonna need OXEN to um... pull your hearse? Because you're gonna be extra dead? Or something?
  • You're so slow I'm surprised there's not iron OXIDE on your sword!
  • Is your brain OXYGEN-starved? That might explain a few things.
  • I'll crack you open like an OYSTER!
  • There'll be nothing left of you but a faint whiff of OZONE!
  • You'd be a better fighter if you'd PACE yourself! Nah, wait, nothing would make you a better fighter.
  • Get ready for an exciting, fast-PACED career in the getting beaten up field.
  • Hold still while I put this weapon through its PACES.
  • You're about to be permanently PACIFIED.
  • Time for you to PACK your bags and go.
  • Do you guys come in six-PACKS or something?
  • Let's form a homicide PACT: I'll kill you and walk away.
  • Just die, okay? No need to PAD it out.
  • In this scenario, I'm the PADDLER, and you're the paddlee.
  • No PADS are thick enough to shield you from my blows!
  • Just to make sure we're on the same PAGE -- you're trying to kill me, right?
  • You're going to wish you had PAGED through a few martial arts manuals!
  • You should call in some back-up. Do you have a PAGER?
  • I hope the docs at the local hospital have their PAGERS ready.
  • Scribes shall write PAGES of stories about me!
  • You ordered this beat-down and it's bought and PAID for!
  • You're looking a little PAIL. Like you're about to kick the bucket.
  • They'll carry you home in PAILS after this!
  • My friend, you are entering a world of PAIN.
  • Fall over, already! Don't just stand there looking PAINED!
  • I shall take PAINS to ensure that you suffer plenty of the same!
  • I'll PAINT the scenery with your blood!
  • These walls will soon be PAINTED with your blood, so I hope it isn't lead-based.
  • I wish I'd hired a PAINTER to make a mural of my epic impending victory!
  • A crew of house PAINTERS could beat you!
  • Your sordid history PAINTS a bleak picture.
  • I've got a PAIR -- my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) and your face.
  • Your pallbearers will carry your coffin in PAIRS!
  • Take this, PAL.
  • I shall beat you and retire to my PALATIAL estate, assuming I have one!
  • You're looking a little PALE - must be all the blood leaking out.
  • Your defenses have PALED before the might of my powerful attacks!
  • You'll be quite a bit PALER once I let all the blood out.
  • Your might PALES in comparison to mine.
  • No longer shall you cast a PALL on this land.
  • You've got kind of a sickly PALLOR. Maybe it's the blood loss.
  • Hmm, I can't remember how that 'Five-Point PALM Exploding Heart Attack' goes.
  • I don't even need my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) -- I could defeat you with just the PALMS of my hands.
  • I bet we could be PALS if you weren't a murderous thug.
  • Your skills are PALTRY compared to mine.
  • This isn't going to PAN out very well for you, I fear.
  • Not only will I kill you, I'll do it with PANACHE!
  • This one's coming straight at your spleen. Wait, no, the PANCREAS, that'll hurt more.
  • You know as much kung fu as a PANDA!
  • If you think I'll PANDER to the monster community by losing, you're wrong.
  • I'm not the guy who PANDERS to the crowd, but watch me hit this loser!
  • I see through your pathetic attacks; now I shall teach you the meaning of PANE!
  • You really push my buttons. Which I keep behind PANELS.
  • It PANES me to admit that I'd happily shove you through a window.
  • I'll feel not a PANG of regret for taking you out!
  • I feel no PANGS of remorse over your fate!
  • Trust me; now is the perfect time to PANIC!
  • I bet your mirror PANICS when you look at it in the morning.
  • I guess I'll just try this attack and see how it PANS out.
  • I will lay a single PANSY upon your grave!
  • I'll hound you until you PANT like a dog!
  • I'm not sure what about this situation made me think of PANTIES, but whatever.
  • Get ready to be knocked out of your PANTS.
  • Was your PAPA a rolling stone?
  • They'll put my picture in the PAPER for this one.
  • This beating will make all the PAPERS.
  • Your performance is sub-PAR.
  • I'm gonna PARADE your head around town on a stick. And it won't be candy I throw to the kiddies.
  • They won't throw any PARADES in your honor!
  • My 3-D attacks will create PARALLAX!
  • I beg your PARDON, I never promised you'd leave here alive!
  • Let me PARE some bits off of you.
  • Do you have a next-of-kin or PARENT I should notify?
  • Your PARENTS must be awfully ashamed of you.
  • This will be a walk in the PARK for me.
  • You're about as threatening as a PARKED car!
  • Jusr call me PARKER, 'cause I can't lose!
  • I'll dispatch you, then visit some of this region's fine PARKS.
  • Don't even try to PARRY this.
  • I can't PARSE what you're saying. Are those even words?
  • What PART of "Die!" didn't you understand?
  • It is time you and I, and you and life, PARTED ways.
  • You can't even do the things a PARTICLE can!
  • What are you doing after this? Know any good PARTIES around?
  • And now, some PARTING words from my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • I hate to get involved in such PARTISAN activities, but... die!
  • I'm going to sell you for spare PARTS!
  • I'm gonna PARTY like it's 099!
  • You shall not PASS!
  • Soon you will have PASSED beyond this mortal veil!
  • You're now a PASSENGER on the road to ruin!
  • My PASSION is for beating the hell out of punks like you.
  • Your best days are in the PAST!
  • Even a god of PASTA couldn't save you now!
  • You must have eaten a lot of PASTE as a kid.
  • Don't worry, you can probably get those bits PASTED back on.
  • I will squish you into multiple PASTES.
  • You're looking kind of PASTY, maybe you should go see a doctor after I'm done killing you.
  • Let me give you a PAT on the back. I mean, skull.
  • I'll beat you until your PATE is addled.
  • The PATH of the righteous man is beset on all si -- you know what, let's just get it over with.
  • You're gonna be sorry that we've crossed PATHS today!
  • I'm running out of PATIENCE for this crap, bucko.
  • This fight doesn't have a rewind or a PAUSE button, but it's about to fast forward.
  • I'll PAVE my driveway with your bones!
  • The road to death is PAVED with attacks like this!
  • You should be a road PAVER instead of a lousy fighter.
  • This attack PAVES my way to victory!
  • I won't be a PAWN in your boss's little game!
  • You probably shouldn't have PAWNED your fighting skills, buddy!
  • You guys are mere PAWNS in my scheme! My pawn-killing scheme.
  • Keep your mangy PAWS away from me!
  • There will be no peace for you! A pox on your PAX!
  • You're gonna PAY for that, dirtbag!
  • You've sinned plenty -- now here's your PAYMENT.
  • Now you'll learn the hard way that crime never PAYS.
  • You couldn't win a fight against a dried PEA!
  • I guess it's a little late for a PEACE negotiation.
  • I'm going to pit you like a PEACH!
  • A few more hits like this and you'll have reached PEAK blood.
  • I shall defeat you, then emit a PEAL of laughter.
  • Ask not for whom the bell PEALS. It's for thee!
  • Man I bet you guys get paid PEANUTS. I hope your health insurance is good, at least.
  • Looks like things are going a bit PEAR-shaped for you.
  • You're no PEARL--you're not even an oyster.
  • Showing you my sweet combat moves is like casting PEARLS before swine.
  • You smell like rotten PEARS.
  • We're like two PEAS in a pod. PEAS who hate each other.
  • Soon you'll be buried beneath the PEAT moss!
  • Okay, it's time to put the PEDAL to the metal, by which I mean the beat-down to the you.
  • I'm putting both PEDALS to the metal!
  • I'm gonna mess you up so bad, you'll have to take your hat off to PEE.
  • My dog has PEED more interesting things than you.
  • Ooh, I think I got a PEEK at your liver there.
  • I'm going to PEEL your face off and use it as a dishrag.
  • There'll be no filing a-PEELS to this beat-down!
  • I don't wanna hear another PEEP out of you!
  • Let us not even pretend that you're a PEER of mine in fighting skill!
  • I'm gonna try you before a jury of your PEERS! By which I mean my fists!
  • They'll have to replace your head with a PEG after this.
  • I'm going to knock you down a few PEGS!
  • I intend to make a warm winter coat out of your PELT.
  • I intend to make a warm winter coat out of your PELT.
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) will be the PEN that writes the tale of your doom.
  • If you'll pardon my language, you look like you belong in a PENAL colony!
  • I'll snap you like a PENCIL.
  • I'll snap you like a handful of PENCILS.
  • PENILE? Ha ha ha ha!
  • The PENIS mightier than the sword!
  • I can't think of anything witty to say, so I'm just going to shout PENISES at you. PENISES!
  • I'll leave two PENNIES on your eyes for the ferryman.
  • You're not worth a counterfeit PENNY!
  • How many PENS can you fit in your mouth? I need a new desk organizer.
  • I'll leave you PENSILE in a tree! I also can't believe I used those letters for this word!
  • I'm sorry for venting my PENT-up frustrations on you like this.
  • Some people are born leaders. You're a born PEON.
  • Boy, your boss has the dumbest PEONS I've ever met. Like you, for instance.
  • The PEOPLE of this valley deserve better than the likes of you.
  • I'm full of PEP and gusto and derring-do!
  • My fists deal like a million pounds of force PER square inch!
  • I'm giving this one 110 PERCENT.
  • PERHAPS I should try talking to the people that get in my way, instead of just killing them? ...Nah.
  • You attacked me at your PERIL, cur.
  • You're dead. PERIOD.
  • Verily shalt thou PERISH at my hand.
  • One PERK of being an adventurer is that I get to meet such interesting people.
  • Why do you fiends PERSIST in annoying me so?
  • You aren't the first PERSON I've killed for being ugly, and you won't be the last.
  • I'm gonna be your own PERSONAL grim reaper!
  • You'll wish you had PERUSED a few martial arts books!
  • Don't be a PEST.
  • You've PESTERED the people of this valley long enough.
  • I'll crush you like a PESTLE crushes some herbs. Or... is it the mortar that does the crushing...
  • You're like a mosquito to me--just another one of the PESTS I have to swat.
  • Is that your face, or do you have a PET... ugly thing... on your shoulder?
  • I will knock every last PETAL from your rose.
  • Don't worry, I'll throw some rose PETALS on your grave. That'll be nice.
  • I'll hoist you by your own PETARD! Petard means guts, right?
  • I hope you've found somebody to take care of your PETS, because you're not going home from this one.
  • PEW PEW. PEW.
  • Sorry about this -- it's just a PHASE I'm going through.
  • I'll beat you until you're PHASED out of existence!
  • Life has many PHASES. This phase will be your last.
  • No PHIAL of unguent shall ease your ache!
  • If you slay me, I shall return like the mighty PHOENIX!
  • You're gonna want to PHONE yourself an ambulance when we're done here.
  • You've seemed kind of PHONED in this entire fight.
  • I don't even know what PHONES are. We don't have that technology here!
  • Call this a fight? You're PHONING it in, buddy.
  • You're too much of a PHONY. I can't allow you to live.
  • I wish I could take a PHOTO of this for my scrapbook. My murder scrapbook.
  • Madam, watch your PHRASEOLOGY!
  • Let's get PHYSICAL.
  • I'm gonna hit you like a falling PIANO in an old cartoon!
  • After this, you won't have a nose left to PICK.
  • History always PICKS a winner. And this time it's gonna be me.
  • I'll make a PIE from your sweetmeats!
  • You wanna PIECE of me? Take this!
  • They'll only find PIECES of you tomorrow!
  • Why don't you take a long walk off a short PIER?
  • Why don't you go take two long walks off two short PIERS.
  • I'm gonna cut you up and bake PIES for the needy.
  • Gonna make you squeal like a PIG!
  • This little PIGGY went to market, and got butchered.
  • You've got a stink that even PIGS would find distasteful.
  • I'll take a PIKE position and stab you with a pike, you piker!
  • I'll mount various parts of your body on PIKES!
  • Why am I bothering to fight a PILE of crap like you?
  • My victories are PILED as high as your defeats!
  • I'm gonna heap PILES and PILES of pain upon you.
  • This is a bitter PILL, but you've gotta take it.
  • I'm a PILLAR of the community, and you're a... sewer of the community.
  • I am unstoppable as a result of countless vitamin PILLS!
  • I'll PILOT this ship of pain directly into your face!
  • You fight like a butterfly struggling on a PIN!
  • You might feel a little PINCH...
  • I'm gonna turn you into a PINCUSHION.
  • You will PINE for the happy days before you met me!
  • You PINED for the fjords, and now I'm gonna send you back to them.
  • I'll strew your bones among the PINES.
  • Are you fighting me or playing PING pong?
  • If I wear a red badge of courage, yours is a sickly shade of PINK!
  • I could beat you with one PINKY finger, probably!
  • I'm gonna pop your cork like a fine PINOT Noir!
  • You'll be feeling PINS and needles after this.
  • You'll be sorry we didn't just settle this over a PINT!
  • Pain comes in PINTS and you're gettin' some!
  • PIPE down, or I'll slug ya one! Actually, I will anyway.
  • If I were a PIRATE, I'd loot your booty, but I'm not, so I'll kick it instead.
  • I'm more dangerous than the top ten most dangerous PIRATES in the world!
  • You must be, as they say, taking the PISS.
  • Yeah, I'd be PISSED too, if I was as ugly and stupid as you are.
  • You're not such a wicked PISSER, are you?
  • Messing with me is as bad an idea as PISSING into the wind.
  • PISTACHIO is my favorite ice cream flavor, which is somehow relevant!
  • PISTACHIOS ain't that great! Just thought I'd mention 'em!
  • This would be a lot easier if I had a PISTOL. Or a hand grenade.
  • I exile thee to the fiery PIT of Hell, and stuff!
  • Which hurts worse: my attacks, or my PITHY one-liners?
  • Your skills are more to be PITIED than feared.
  • When it comes to you jerks, I am entirely PITILESS.
  • This is gonna be the PITS for you.
  • You are a fool, and I can only PITY you!
  • I'll leave every PIXEL in your body hurting!
  • I'm gonna hit you so hard, you'll shatter into individual PIXELS.
  • I've seen PIXIES that hit harder than you!
  • I'm gonna put you in your PLACE. A very painful place.
  • I'll dispatch you with a well-PLACED word!
  • Wouldn't it be nice if we could trade PLACES, and you could win for a change?
  • As monsters go, you certainly are PLACID. Wait, that's not the word I was thinking of...
  • If you knew what was good for you, you'd avoid me like the PLAGUE.
  • Too long have you PLAGUED this realm with your existence.
  • If you own two houses, then PLAGUES on both of them!
  • Never mix stripes with PLAID! Also, die.
  • Do you want your shroud done in PLAIDS or paisley?
  • Your incompetence is PLAIN to see!
  • I don't think your immanent defeat could be any PLAINER.
  • I shall call you The PLAINS, because your ass is grass!
  • I'll knock the PLAIT right out of your pigtail!
  • I'm gonna tie your guts in PLAITS.
  • My PLAN is very simple: to hit you until you stop moving.
  • You're a snake, and I'm about to boot you off this mortal PLANE!
  • I'm going to knock you through several PLANES of existence!
  • This will be a much nicer PLANET with you not on it.
  • I'll kick you so hard you'll see other PLANETS!
  • Time for you to walk the PLANK. Figuratively, I mean.
  • I shall find some PLANKS to make you a coffin!
  • Did you write "get the crap beat out of me" in your PLANNER this morning?
  • I hope you don't have any PLANS for the rest of the day, or the rest of eternity.
  • If I PLANT what's left of you after this, will it grow into an idiot tree?
  • I'm going to turn you inside-out and use you as a novelty tomato PLANTER.
  • Soon you'll be nothing but food for the PLANTS!
  • I'm gonna PLASTER your viscera across the landscape! It's gonna be super gross!
  • You're practically handing me victory on a PLATE!
  • Perhaps you should have worn heavier PLATED armor?
  • Here, let me loosen up the PLATES in your skull for you.
  • PLAY time's over -- now it's for real.
  • Well PLAYED. Is what you'll say to me. After this.
  • Let's see how this one PLAYS.
  • Your PLEA for mercy is hereby rejected!
  • No matter how you beg and PLEAD, I'm still gonna turn you into flan.
  • Tell me you're not going to be the guy who PLEADS for his life.
  • I am deaf to your PLEAS for clemency!
  • This has been such a PLEASANT day, I hate to spoil it by leaving you alive.
  • Take my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword), PLEASE.
  • I'm very PLEASED to meet you. ...Wait, I mean 'kill you'.
  • I'm going to win, and I don't care whether it PLEASES you or not!
  • Your death will be a very PLEASING experience. For me.
  • Kill you? Why, it would be my PLEASURE!
  • This is sure to knock at least one PLEAT out of your garments.
  • I'll knock the PLEATS out of your pants.
  • I will not rest until I have dispatched you. This is my solemn PLEDGE.
  • Fortunately, I got PLENTY of sleep in that bush last night.
  • I will not be PLIED with food or booze, but you're welcome to try.
  • If I had a pair of PLIERS, this could get a lot more interesting.
  • No PLINTH will mark your shallow grave!
  • It's sad seeing you PLOD through the same old moves time and again.
  • I hope you've reserved a burial PLOT!
  • You're gonna need a whole lot of tiny graveyard PLOTS when I'm finished.
  • I'll raise a lump on you the size of a PLOVER egg.
  • I'm going to PLOW through you like a . . . plow.
  • I won't fall for your transparent PLOY to not get killed by me.
  • I'm gonna fry you like a PLUCKED chicken.
  • Sorry pal, it's time for me to pull the PLUG.
  • Are those hair PLUGS? Boy, you really wasted your money.
  • Hold on. I wanna stick my thumb in you and see if I can pull out a PLUM.
  • A PLUME of blood will blossom from your chest!
  • I can sense PLUMES of smoke rising from the ashes of your charred hope.
  • I could beat you with a bath brush and a PLUNGER!
  • Hmm... what's the PLURAL of 'massacre'?
  • You must be the ne PLUS ultra of ineffectual stooges.
  • You're less threatening than a PLUSH bunny rabbit!
  • After I beat you I'll recline on the PLUSHEST of cushions!
  • Don't try to PLY me with compliments.
  • This one is gonna knock the POCKETS right out of your pants.
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) and your face will be like two peas in a POD.
  • Do they grow losers like you in PODS?
  • They'll write a POEM about how hard I'm about to hit you.
  • Bards are gonna write POEMS about your death. Limericks, probably.
  • To describe what I'm gonna do to you, they should've sent a POET.
  • There's a certain POETRY to violence. Enjoy this couplet!
  • The POETS are gonna have a field day with this epic battle!
  • POH, I say. POH!
  • That's a good POINT. Allow me to retort.
  • There will be a POINTED difference between this and something painless.
  • I'd give you a POINTER or two on fighting, if I thought it would help.
  • Do you even know how to fight? Here, let me give you a few POINTERS.
  • BAM! Two POINTS!
  • Man, I don't need this (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword). I could take you down with a POINTY stick.
  • My balance and POISE are without equal.
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) is like a snake, POISED to strike.
  • Every rose has its thorn, and mine are tipped with POISON!
  • I won't need any exotic POISONS to do you in.
  • You're helpless as a pig in a POKE!
  • I'm a sleeping lion you'll wish you never POKED!
  • This is my POKER face. Next I'll show you my stabber face.
  • This will hurt worse than a hundred red-hot POKERS.
  • How about a few POKES in the eye?
  • You and I are POLAR opposites. I'm attractive, intelligent, and awesome.
  • I'll mount your head on a POLE!
  • I will display various parts of you on POLES when this is over.
  • I'll beat you like the POLICE until every breath you take hurts!
  • This is how my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) POLICES your internal organs: with extreme prejudice.
  • My POLICY is to leave no ass unkicked.
  • You should've been more POLITE.
  • I'm taking a POLL of thugs: would you rather be killed by weapons, or magic?
  • I wish I had a horse -- your skull would be fantastic for playing POLO.
  • I'm taking you out with all the POMP and circumstance I can muster!
  • I could make a pretty nice PONCHO out of your skin. Are you waterproof?
  • I'd drown you, but I don't want to pollute my POND.
  • I'll dice you and feed the chunks to some PONIES.
  • If I can't have a PONY, I'll settle for your head on a pike!
  • You are a horrible creature and you smell of POO.
  • POOF! There go your chances!
  • POOH, I say to you. POOH POOH.
  • You're in trouble, and that starts with T, which rhymes with P, and that stands for POOL.
  • You should have POOLED your resources with a few other fighters!
  • There'll be nothing left of you but a couple of POOLS of goo.
  • Did you know that a POON is a kind of tree?
  • Look, I'm not doing a POOP joke. I have standards.
  • I'm gonna kick your butt until it POOPS out your skull.
  • You're a POOR excuse for a fighter!
  • You're gonna be two kneecaps POORER when I'm done here.
  • POP! goes the weasel!
  • I am the POPE of death!
  • You must be really POPULAR with the... ugly... whatever you are.
  • You're gonna be bleeding out of every PORE in a moment.
  • The stench of failure oozes from your PORES!
  • You're about as much of a threat as a side of PORK!
  • I'd rather be watching PORN than fighting you, so let's make this quick!
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) is a boat, and your face is the PORT.
  • You're like a mystic PORTAL to the Suck Dimension!
  • Prepare to have data overload in your pain PORTS!
  • Get ready to see my victory POSE.
  • The thread POSED by you is negligible.
  • Should I kill you fast, or slow? Hmm, that's a real POSER.
  • You guys are such POSERS! Lemme show you how it's done!
  • Are you going to fight, or just strike POSES?
  • You won't sound so POSH when you're talking through a sucking chest wound!
  • I POSIT that you won't be leaving this place alive.
  • I don't need a POSSE, I can handle you myself.
  • I'm pretty sure it's not POSSIBLE for me to lose to you.
  • Emily POST would probably object to what I'm about to do to you.
  • I'm about to go POSTAL on you.
  • Is there a reward POSTED for your head? Because I don't want to touch it otherwise.
  • You must be the POSTER child for ugly-induced brain dysfunction.
  • I think I've seen your face on POSTERS at the post office. Did you win an ugly award?
  • You should adjust your POSTURE, and everything else about your ridiculous fighting style.
  • It's time to defeat you or get off the POT.
  • I'll cremate you, then fertilize my crops with the POTASH.
  • You're small POTATOES.
  • If you have any healing POTIONS, now's the time to use them.
  • Oh my god, I'm dropping some POTS!
  • Are you chicken? Because your attacks are like POULTRY in motion.
  • And now, like the noble tiger, I POUNCE!
  • I'll POUND you like a nail.
  • Time to take a few POUNDS of your flesh!
  • I've opened the can of whoop-ass and I'm ready to POUR it out!
  • I'm about to rain down blows until your blood POURS!
  • You better not POUT; you better not cry; I'll hit you and then you will die!
  • BAM! POW! SOCKO!
  • Your POWER level is far too low to defeat me!
  • If you think you can beat me, I doubt your POWERS of deduction!
  • A POX on however many houses you happen to have!
  • POXES upon all of your houses.
  • Away with ye, thou POXY cur!
  • I'm gonna use you for target PRACTICE.
  • I am averse to lying, so I won't PRAISE your skills!
  • I can't wait to get PRAISED for this victory. Praise is awesome.
  • I've had tougher enemies riding in a PRAM! Because they were babies! Babies tougher than you!
  • Are you going to fight, or just PRANCE around like an idiot?
  • Are you even trying to fight, or is this some elaborate PRANK?
  • I'll put an end to your sophomore PRANKS!
  • Don't worry; you're not just a bad fighter. You're also an annoying PRAT.
  • If you've got someone to PRAY to, now's the time.
  • You had best say your PRAYERS! Don't forget to include everyone!
  • Did you know your mother PRAYS for you, before bed?
  • I don't mean to PREACH to the choir, but take this!
  • Don't PREEN like a peacock. Prepare to meet your maker!
  • I'm not the type who PREENS in front of a mirror. My skills are real!
  • Look! I got you a PRESENT!
  • Let's hear you say 'hail to the chief', because I'm the PRESIDENT of kicking your ass!
  • Don't PRESS your luck, pal -- give up now.
  • Stop the PRESSES! New headline: Fool Gets Beaten Down!
  • PRESTO change-o! You're a corpse!
  • I'm gonna win because I'm PRETTIER than you!
  • You're gonna find out I'm not just a PRETTY face.
  • Now the predator has become the PREY!
  • The PRICE of evil is death at my hands!
  • These injuries are PRICED to move!
  • Some people declare war on high PRICES, I declare war on you.
  • This one'll hurt far more than your PRIDE!
  • You'll look like PRIDES of lions mauled you when I'm through with you!
  • Did you hear the one about the rabbi, the PRIEST, and... you did? Oh well. Die!
  • If you were more PRIM and proper, you'd never have met this sorry fate.
  • My PRIMAL rage is about to be unleashed.
  • You're not ready for PRIME time!
  • My fists are PRIMED and ready to explode your face! Boom!
  • Let me give you a PRIMER on being beaten up. Step 1:
  • Your face really PRIMES my rage pump.
  • I'm gonna go PRIMEVAL on your ass!
  • You can call me the PRINCE of pain!
  • If two PRINCES kneel before you, it'll be to lay flowers on your grave!
  • 10 PRINT "It's time to die!" 20 GOTO 10.
  • My business cards are still being PRINTED, but I can give you a custom punch in the face.
  • I wish someone were photographing this beatdown, so I could get PRINTS made.
  • Let's PRIORITIZE: first, you lose this fight. Then, I dance on your grave.
  • Nothing can PRISE this victory from my hands!
  • I'm gonna lock you up in a PRISON made from your own ribcage.
  • I'm gonna turn your PRIVATE parts into a comical novelty paperweight.
  • Is it against the rules for me to kick you in the PRIVATES? Sorry!
  • You should've kept your eyes on the PRIZE.
  • You're gonna be the PRIZED centerpiece of my taxidermy bastard collection!
  • Don't take this personally -- I'm only doing it for the PRIZES.
  • I'm a PRO at kicking your ass.
  • You PROBABLY won't enjoy what I'm about to do to you.
  • Allow me to PROBE your capacity for pain!
  • Here come a few PROBES launched at your pain centers!
  • I hope my intention to kill you isn't going to cause a PROBLEM between us.
  • You think you've got PROBLEMS? I've got an ugly moron trying to kill me!
  • The due PROCESS of law is not really my concern here.
  • You couldn't beat me if you were armed with a cattle PROD!
  • Your inexperience PRODS you closer and closer to defeat!
  • Time to get with the PROGRAM! The kicking your ass program!
  • All your struggling merely PROLONGS the inevitable.
  • I'll make you a deal: if you win this fight, I'll take you to PROM.
  • You'll be lying PRONE on the floor when I'm done with you!
  • Get ready for the next PRONG of my attack.
  • I was thinking, after this, I could PROP you up and use you as a Halloween decoration.
  • It is by word alone that I PROPEL myself into battle!
  • Time to administer a PROPER beating.
  • I've got to give you PROPS for surviving as long as you have.
  • I've evaluated the PROS and cons of killing you. The PROS have it.
  • I inspire epic poems. You couldn't even manage a line or two of PROSE!
  • This blow will make my ancestors PROUD.
  • If you think you can beat me, you've got a long way to go to PROVE it.
  • I think with this blow I've PROVED I'm the best!
  • It won't be long 'til my superiority is PROVEN!
  • You are the exception that PROVES my patience.
  • Allow me to PROVIDE you with a new orifice.
  • It's nothing personal, you're just a PROXY for all of the evil in the world.
  • I'm kind of a PRUDE, so I'll avert my eyes as I beat you.
  • It's time to PRUNE your family tree a bit!
  • Your family tree is about to get PRUNED.
  • I've seen PRUNES with smoother moves than yours!
  • I'm gonna PRY out a couple of your vertebrae.
  • The horror of this beating may have lasting effects on your PSYCHE. Sorry!
  • Let's get this over with so I can go to the PUB.
  • I bet you can't wait 'til you hit PUBERTY.
  • Why don't you come back when you've finally got your PUBES.
  • Are you sure you want to be defeated in such a humiliating and PUBLIC manner?
  • Are there any good PUBS nearby? No? Oh well, die.
  • I'm thinking instead of wearing black to your funeral, I'll go with PUCE.
  • I'm gonna make you vanish in a PUFF of foul-smelling smoke!
  • I'm gonna smash your face in like one of those ugly PUG dogs.
  • I hate you almost as much as I hate PUGS.
  • Your lack of prowess makes me want to PUKE!
  • Stand still -- I don't want to PULL a muscle doing this.
  • I'm going to mash you into a thin gelatinous PULP.
  • You might wanna check your PULSE while there's still time.
  • This'll prime your PUMP.
  • They hurled ten puns at me to see if one would hurt me, but no PUN in ten did!
  • Kick! PUNCH! It's all in the mind!
  • It's time to punch your card, and I'm just the PUNCHER to do it!
  • I intend to PUNISH you for all the terrible things you do!
  • Do you feel lucky, PUNK?
  • Man, you PUNKS are getting on my nerves.
  • I've had it with your lame PUNS! Actually, mine are worse than yours. But still.
  • I'll PUNT you into the next county.
  • I won't stop until I've PUNTED you off the edge of the world.
  • Allow me to be the latest person who PUNTS you like a football!
  • Your PUNY brain cannot fathom my greatness!
  • Get ready for some 100 percent PURE pain.
  • Ha ha, I've met some PUREBRED doofuses in my time, but you take the cake.
  • I shall PURGE the world of your foul existence!
  • I won't rest until I've PURGED you and all your kin from these lands! Or until I get tired.
  • This attack PURGES you from the rolls of the living!
  • PURI is a sort of unleavened foreign bread. Why do you ask?
  • No longer shall you threaten the PURITY of this land.
  • You shall PURLOIN defeat from the jaws of victory!
  • I will win the champion's PURSE! I hope it matches my shoes!
  • A bunch of old ladies could beat you senseless with their PURSES!
  • If PUS comes out of the wound I'm about to inflict, see a doctor!
  • I guess PUSH has come to stab.
  • You've PUSHED me, now I'm gonna push you back.
  • Pain is the drug and I'm your PUSHER!
  • I don't mean to be PUSHY, but... actually... yes I do.
  • You're about as threatening to me as a PUSS in boots!
  • I wouldn't have thought it possible, but you keep getting PUSSIER!
  • You're as threatening as a declawed and shaved PUSSY cat!
  • I'll PUT you in your place, fiend!
  • It PUTS the lotion in the basket, or else it gets the (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) again!
  • You think you're a real mensch, but you're more of a PUTZ.
  • It's time to light your funeral PYRE.
  • They'll need multiple PYRES to dispose of you when I'm through with you.
  • Are you a veterinarian? 'Cause these PYTHONS are sick!
  • Like QAT, I'm worth a lot of points in Scrabble!
  • I don't have a problem with you QUA opponent, just you as someone who is alive.
  • I'll beat you as sure as a duck QUACKS!
  • Let's meet on the QUAD in an hour and fight. On second thought, let's just do it now.
  • I think ten reps of hitting you will be great for my QUADS.
  • You QUAIL before my blows. Also you look like a QUAIL.
  • The mightiest foe QUAILS before my might.
  • You think you're a match for me? How QUAINT.
  • This one will make you QUAKE in your boots.
  • You act brave, but I can see that your body QUAKES with fear!
  • I have nary a QUALM about destroying you!
  • I have no QUALMS about turning you into a bag of mulch!
  • I'll rearrange your QUARKS.
  • You're about to lose at least a QUART of blood.
  • I give fiends like you no QUARTER.
  • You're out of QUARTERS, so it's time to leave the arcade. By which I mean world.
  • Your obituary won't even fill a QUARTO.
  • Looks like you're a few QUARTS low on pain! Allow me to fill you up!
  • I'm sorry to QUASH your hopes and dreams like this.
  • Nothing I like better than hitting some kind of QUASI-human with a (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • QUAY is a word that has absolutely no business being pronounced like that.
  • Not even the QUEEN herself could strike as hard as I do!
  • Not even the QUEENS of old could save you now!
  • That QUEER feeling you're experiencing? That's fear.
  • I thought I'd enjoy fighting you, but your gross face just QUEERS the whole deal.
  • Nothing can QUELL my savagery. Really. It's quite savage.
  • If you fear you might survive this fight, I hope this attack QUELLS your fear.
  • A QUERY: did you really think you could beat me?
  • This is what happens to those who stand in the way of my QUEST.
  • I feel like I've QUESTED my whole life for satisfying to kill as yourself.
  • I am a mighty QUESTER! By which I mean adventurer. By which I mean die.
  • QUESTING is fun and all, but beating up monsters is really the best part.
  • To beat, or not to beat: that is the QUESTION.
  • You've got QUESTIONS, my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) has answers.
  • Let's get this over with. I've got QUESTS to finish.
  • I'm not a cruel (woman/man), so I'll make this QUICK.
  • You owe me twenty QUID. I'll get it from you one way or another.
  • Be QUIET! I can hardly hear myself killing you.
  • I'll still be standing after your screams have QUIETED!
  • You're making a lot of big noise, but you're about to get QUIETER!
  • I'll hope this blow QUIETS your heart forever!
  • The QUILL may be mightier, but my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) is sufficiently mighty for the likes of you.
  • There aren't enough QUILLS to write a fitting ode to my prowess!
  • I'll make a filthy QUILT out of your clothes.
  • You'll need some QUILTED tissue to pick up all the blood you're about to spill!
  • Your mother is the worst QUILTER in the entire county!
  • I'll get the QUILTERS to make you a lovely shroud!
  • It'll take a lot of QUILTS to sop up your blood!
  • I dunno what a QUINCE tastes like, but it sounds like it'd be really sour, doesn't it?
  • Are you a QUINT? If so, I'll also have to hunt down your four siblings.
  • I can't think of a good QUIP, so I'm just gonna kill you.
  • I have no time for clever QUIPS. Have at you!
  • It would require a QUIRE of scrolls to tell my epic tale!
  • I am unable to QUIT, because of my high degree of legitimacy.
  • Are you QUITE finished dancing around? I've got places to be.
  • Time for you to call it QUITS.
  • It's good that you aren't a QUITTER. I can respect that.
  • You haven't got a single arrow left in your QUIVER, so quake with fear!
  • A thousand arrows in a hundred QUIVERS won't avail you!
  • Pop QUIZ time! My fist plus your face equals what?
  • Off to the QUOD with you. It's like a jail, only you're dead.
  • I'll hit you so hard you'll think a QUOIN fell on you.
  • Let's hurry up an finish this fight. I've got a QUOTA to fill.
  • Sorry about this, but I have jerk-killing QUOTAS to meet.
  • Have you got a QUOTE for "Famous Last Words of the Terminally Stupid"?
  • How would you like your last words to be QUOTED?
  • Not to be a QUOTER but, in the words of everyone you've ever met, I'm so disappointed in you.
  • Do you have any pithy QUOTES for your tombstone?
  • QUOTH the adventurer, Nevermore!
  • I'm gonna put you down like a RABID dog!
  • I'll put you down like a badger with RABIES.
  • In the RACE to victory, I will be the winner!
  • Your heart RACED when you saw me, in anticipation of your doom!
  • I'll finish this fight, then it's off to the RACES.
  • Are you RACING your friends to see who gets to the graveyard first?
  • I'll do more harm to you than RACISM does to our society!
  • Look, I'm not a RACIST. It's specifically you that I hate.
  • Don't RACK your brains too hard. Just take your licks.
  • This is gonna be totally RAD.
  • No soap, RADIO.
  • You're giving me more static than old-timey RADIOS! Prepare to be silenced!
  • I'll chop you like a RADISH.
  • Buddy, you are up the creek without a RAFT.
  • I've had harder fights with a damp RAG!
  • RAGE, RAGE against the beating I'm about to lay on you.
  • I have RAGED long enough against your machine. It's time to strike!
  • Every man RAGES against his inevitable defeat. You'll be no different!
  • This is a real RAGS to riches story. For me, after I take all of your stuff.
  • I'll defeat you then RAID your fridge.
  • No RAIDERS will come searching for your lost carcass!
  • I'm here to make RAIDS on your well-being and self-esteem!
  • I'll run you out of town on a RAIL.
  • Prepare to be thoroughly RAILED!
  • If you think you can survive this fight, you've gone off the RAILS!
  • I'm gonna make it RAIN...
  • It's about time someone RAINED on your parade!
  • Feel my wrath as it RAINS down upon you!
  • RAINY days and your face always get me down.
  • I'm about to RAISE some hell!
  • Your mother should've RAISED you better.
  • This RAISES some serious questions about your survivability.
  • You're going to wither like a RAISIN in the sun!
  • I'll turn your eyes into RAISINS! Somehow!
  • Take this, you foppish RAKE.
  • Prepare to be RAKED over the coals!
  • You'll feel like you stepped on a comically-placed series of RAKES!
  • You'd better dodge because I'm about to RAM!
  • It's time to RAMP up this beat-down!
  • Excuse me as my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) RAMS itself down your throat of its own accord.
  • Your time just RAN out, buddy.
  • I'll throw you out like RANCID buttermilk.
  • I'll do the universe a RANDOM act of kindness and take you out of it.
  • I'll hit you harder than some guy named RANDY!
  • You RANG? ...Like a gong, when I hit you in the head?
  • Your attacks are stilted and lacking in RANGE.
  • I'll track you like a RANGER until you're exhausted!
  • Your chance of winning RANGES from zero to none!
  • You must be one of the rank-and-file. Emphasis on RANK.
  • Beating you up RANKS highly on my to-do list.
  • I wonder if I could RANSOM you off to anyone? I guess I'd have to take you alive, though.
  • Your RANT has gone on long enough.
  • I've RANTED long enough. Let's end this.
  • Get ready for another one of my epic RANTS.
  • I'll call you the RAP because you're about to get beat!
  • It would be terrible of me to make a joke that trivializes RAPE, so instead I'm just going to murder you.
  • There's simply nothing funny about being RAPED.
  • In French, a cheese grater is called a RAPER!
  • Why are you making me say RAPES? You have serious issues.
  • Your defeat shall be RAPID, like a turbulent river.
  • I can't think of anything clever or funny to say about a RAPIST!
  • Your attacks are far from well done, and the possibility of your survival is RARE.
  • I have RARELY been beaten, and certainly not by the likes of you!
  • It's rare to find someone who survived a fight with me, RARER still someone who won!
  • I hope you drop some good RARES.
  • Being all talk and no skill doesn't make you the RAREST of specimens.
  • You're really trying to fight me? How RASH.
  • You've got a bit of a RASP in your voice. By which I mean (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) in your throat.
  • I smell a RAT.
  • On a scale of one to ten, I RATE you... dead.
  • This beatdown has not yet been RATED.
  • Ask your mother what her going RATES are!
  • I'd RATHER win this fight than lose it. Just saying.
  • Did you use up your entire RATION of brain-power already?
  • Time for your daily pain RATIONS!
  • The RATS will gnaw on your jibbly bits!
  • Have you been practicing your death RATTLE?
  • What's that RATTLING noise? Did something come loose in your skull?
  • This beating will get RAVE reviews.
  • You've ranted and RAVED long enough. Let's end this.
  • Quoth the RAVEN: "I'm gonna kill you and then eat your eyes."
  • May the RAVENS feast upon thy entrails!
  • I'm gonna chew you up like a RAVER does a pacifier!
  • I've met more menacing fighters at RAVES!
  • Your hide is gonna be RAW after this.
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) is the RAY of light that will pierce the darkness of your face.
  • You'll be food for the RAYS in the ocean when I'm through with you!
  • I'm gonna RAZE you to the ground and spit on the ashes.
  • We'll see how big you are when I've RAZED you to the ground!
  • I'm gonna raze you! 'Cos I'm a RAZER!
  • I won't raise false hopes while my attack RAZES your aspirations!
  • I'll dispatch you and then set about RAZING your entire village!
  • I slice like a ninja and cut like a RAZOR-blade!
  • I'll make you look like you fell into a pit full of RAZORS!
  • Victory is within my REACH!
  • Your REACTIONS to extreme pain are pretty amusing.
  • READ my lips: You're going down.
  • I knew I READIED my weapon for a reason.
  • The terror in your eyes READS as bold as a newspaper headline.
  • READY... steady... die!
  • Things are about to get REAL.
  • Let's be REALISTS here. I'm the hero. You can't possibly win.
  • I'm more powerful than you REALIZE.
  • You know, I just REALIZED -- when's the last time I ate any food?
  • What happens when your boss REALIZES you screwed up so badly?
  • Do you REALLY think you stand a chance at beating me?
  • I'm the most powerful fighter in the REALM!
  • Welcome to the REALMS! Have a nice death!
  • I'm about to defeat you. For REALS.
  • Call me an auger, coz I'm gonna REAM all your holes.
  • I could write REAMS of critique of your sad skills!
  • You have sown the wind, and you shall REAP the whirlwind!
  • You may not fear the REAPER, but you're gonna fear me in a minute.
  • He who sows discontent REAPS pain. Here comes the scythe.
  • I bet they call you the REAR Admiral, because of how your face looks like a butt.
  • If you had a hundred REARS, I would kick each one individually!
  • Good thing I don't need a REASON to kick your ass.
  • I need no REASONS to beat you, just opportunity.
  • You are soon to be a REBEL without a head.
  • Defeating you will be easier than solving a REBUS. Seriously. Those things are hard.
  • You never should have left the REC room.
  • RECENT events have convinced me that I can't let you leave here alive.
  • I must say I've had friendlier RECEPTIONS.
  • You should have RECKONED on getting beat. Today's your day of reckoning!
  • You must hold the world RECORD for "Dumbest Evil Minion".
  • I'm gonna break all the RECORDS for how badly I'm gonna break your face.
  • You're really making me see RED!
  • There's no way for you to REDEEM yourself at this point.
  • There'll be no option to REDO this fight!
  • I won't attack until I see the REDS of your eyes. Also, you should probably see a doctor.
  • This ought to REDUCE your lifespan.
  • I bend like the REED, you break like the wind.
  • I'll leave your body in the REEDS down by the pond!
  • Man, you REEK! What do you use for shampoo -- pig urine?
  • Everything about you REEKS of desperation!
  • I've set the hook. Time to REEL you in!
  • The mind REELS at your level of incompetence.
  • Please REFRAIN from injuring my pretty face, thanks.
  • Sing once more the sad REFRAINS of your defeat!
  • Your pauper's attacks are no match for my REGAL skills!
  • Give my REGARDS to the last monster I killed!
  • If you were a king, this would be REGICIDE. Maybe also if your name is Regis. Is it?
  • I should warn you, I made it to REGIONALS in my varsity face-punching team.
  • You'll feel pain in all the REGIONS of your body!
  • You're gonna REGRET that.
  • If you've got any last REGRETS to express, now would be a good time.
  • Your REIGN of terror is coming to an end.
  • Maybe if you REIN in the excitement a little, you won't hit like a spaz.
  • I've got you by the REINS.
  • Time for you to REJOIN the souls in the afterlife!
  • If you're feeling inadequate, I'm afraid I can't RELATE!
  • Say, are all you guys RELATED?
  • I'll hit you so hard all your known RELATIONS will feel it!
  • This should help you RELAX.
  • Maybe you'd fight better if you were more RELAXED. Nah, probably not.
  • Beating up foes always RELAXES me.
  • My weekend plans include RELAXING and beating you senseless.
  • I'm the new model and you're a useless old RELIC!
  • I'll make RELICS out of your fingerbones.
  • I shall beat you down with RELISH! And mustard!
  • Look on the bright side -- at least you won't get the chance to RELIVE any of these horrible memories.
  • You'll lose this fight -- on that you can RELY.
  • When I'm through with you, little shall REMAIN!
  • They're gonna send your REMAINS home in a tiny paper bag!
  • I'll be REMASTERING slow-motion footage of my epic win later today.
  • Wait a minute, I REMEMBER you... didn't I kill you already?
  • Let me just REMIND you who the hero is around here.
  • Your face REMINDS me of a thing I meant to hit.
  • I'm gonna REMIX your internal organs!
  • I shall REND your flesh asunder. Verily.
  • My scorn tears your heart as my weapon RENDS your flesh!
  • Your lease on life is almost up, and you can't afford the new RENT!
  • You've only RENTED your time on earth, and your lease is up!
  • You're the worst RENTER your landlord ever had.
  • The RENTS on your vital organs are overdue. I'm here to repossess them!
  • Defeating you will be good for my REP.
  • It's gonna take a whole lotta duct tape to REPAIR what I'm about to do.
  • You're about to be in dire need of REPAIRS!
  • Beat you up, rinse, REPEAT.
  • REPENT, Harlequin!
  • This is all going in my REPORT.
  • The REPORTS of your demise were premature, but not at all exaggerated.
  • You REPULSE me.
  • I'd like to make a REQUEST: die.
  • I'm doing some RESEARCH into the effects of extreme pain on bastards. You can be my control group.
  • I deeply RESENT the fact that you aren't dead yet.
  • I'm gonna RESET you to your default setting: dead.
  • There'll be nothing left of you but a foul-smelling RESIDUE.
  • There'll be nothing left of you but a sticky RESIN.
  • Don't try to RESIST me.
  • I am quite RESISTANT to your charms.
  • I'm gonna RESIZE you slightly smaller than before.
  • Your death will be a blessed RESPITE. For me. Because I'm sick of looking at you.
  • You'll get no RESPITES from this beat-down!
  • Your face offends my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword), and my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) RESPONDS in kind.
  • Mess with the best, die like the REST.
  • You really should've RESTED up for this fight.
  • I'll make sure you're dead and not merely RESTING.
  • I'll RESTRING my violin with you-gut strings!
  • My weapon will taste blood before it RESTS!
  • This fight will inevitably RESULT in your demise.
  • Your RESULTS are back, and I regret to inform you, you have two seconds to live.
  • You will never overcome my wholesale violence with your RETAIL resistance.
  • It's terrible to call someone a RETARD. Even if it's totally true.
  • Don't be RETICENT -- this is likely to be your last chance to speak.
  • Your performance isn't up to par. Perhaps it's time for you to RETIRE!
  • Maybe you should just RETURN to your cave and think about the mistakes you've made.
  • Time to REUNITE you with the dust from whence you came!
  • This agression of yours REVEALS a deeply disturbed personality.
  • Let's just REVIEW: you're ugly and stupid and I'm going to give you a beating you'll never forget.
  • I can see why you guys are so REVILED.
  • You're revolting, and I REVOLT against the idea of letting you live!
  • Your very presence REVOLTS me.
  • I'm more deadly than a Tyrannosaurus REX!
  • I'm about to REZONE your face as a "bruises only" neighborhood.
  • I'm about to charge you like a RHINO!
  • This is likely to crack a RIB.
  • I'm going to make a novelty lampshade out of your RIBS.
  • I'll be all over you like white on RICE!
  • I've eaten many delicious RICES, and also I'm going to kill you now.
  • You think you can take me? Man, that's RICH.
  • I will defeat you and then plunder all of your RICHES.
  • I'll RICK your bones and dance on the pile!
  • Admit it -- that's just RICOTTA cheese in your skull, isn't it?
  • The world would be well RID of you.
  • You're about to get RIDDEN hard and put away wet.
  • Hold on -- it's gonna be a bumpy RIDE.
  • The Grim RIDER in black approaches for your soul!
  • Do you hear the hoofbeats of the pale RIDERS coming for you?
  • Your destruction RIDES toward you on a swift horse!
  • I'll throw you down like a flower off of Chocktaw RIDGE!
  • I'll knock the RIDGES right out of your brow.
  • Your life is RIFE with strife. Allow me to end it!
  • I could RIFF comedically on your foolish actions all day. Just like a handsome writer I know.
  • I'll dispatch you, then RIFLE through your belongings.
  • There is a sizable RIFT between your ego and your ability!
  • You thought you could RIG this fight, but you couldn't.
  • If kicking your ass is wrong, I don't want to be RIGHT.
  • I've got you dead to RIGHTS, buddy.
  • You fail to measure up to my RIGID standards!
  • I'll leave you feeling like you were run over by two big RIGS!
  • Man, you just had to go and RILE me up.
  • That's it, now you've got me RILED up.
  • Having to fight the likes of you really RILES me!
  • I'll knock you to the RIM of the world and back.
  • I'm going to leave a RIME of failure on your very soul!
  • I'll loot your body and buy some custom RIMS with the spoils!
  • When I'm done with you, there'll be nothing left but the RIND.
  • I'll chew you up and spit out the RINDS.
  • I'll RING you like a bell.
  • You're a dead RINGER for the guy I killed earlier.
  • I'm gonna run RINGS around you! And then kill you.
  • If you don't know how to skate, stay off the RINK!
  • Beat you up, RINSE, repeat.
  • It'll be a while before I've RINSED your blood off my hands!
  • My maid will complain about you as she RINSES your blood from my clothes!
  • You think you can beat me? What a RIOT!
  • There would be RIOTS in the streets if I let you live.
  • I'll RIP you a new one!
  • Your life is like a fruit, RIPE for the picking.
  • Perhaps if you had taken longer for your skills to RIPEN, you wouldn't be such a rotten fighter!
  • My hatred for you is like a RIPENING fruit.
  • My skill RIPENS as yours starts to rot!
  • You smell RIPER than a month-old melon.
  • How's it feel to have your still-beating heart RIPPED from your chest?
  • Let me show you how an expert RIPS someone a new one.
  • This is sure to get a RISE out of you.
  • I see you have not RISEN to the challenge of beating me!
  • It takes an early RISER to defeat me!
  • The bile RISES in my throat at the mere thought of you.
  • I deem your attempts to attack me RISIBLE!
  • You took the RISK, so I'll get the rewards.
  • You never should have RISKED a fight with me!
  • I hope you knew the RISKS when you joined up.
  • You know, this is a pretty RISKY course of action you're taking, attacking me like this.
  • Don't worry; being beaten by me is practically a RITE of passage around here!
  • There's not even time for last RITES!
  • You're no RIVAL to me.
  • I'm rising up to the challenge of all RIVALS!
  • I will RIVE you asunder!
  • RIVEN was an awesome game. Also, take this!
  • You're up sewage RIVER without a paddle!
  • RIVERS of your blood will stain this land.
  • Staples my not be enough to put you back together -- they might need RIVETS.
  • I'll crush you like a ROACH.
  • Hit the ROAD, jerk!
  • How many ROADS must a man walk down before he gets beaten up by me?
  • No matter how far you ROAM, I will find you and destroy you!
  • You're a wild ROAN and I'm about to break your spirit!
  • Wild ROANS couldn't make me lose this fight!
  • Your mousy squeak is no match for my weapon's ROAR!
  • I look forward to the ROARS of the crowd after I defeat you.
  • I'm gonna ROAST you like the turkey you are!
  • Have you ever been ROASTED? I don't mean in the comedy sense.
  • In a minute, I'm gonna be ROASTING your chestnuts over an open fire.
  • I will ROB you of your dignity. And your valuables.
  • This'll knock the ROBE right off your wizard. So to speak.
  • I'll leave here ROBED in your skin!
  • This is gonna knock the seams out of your ROBES. Even the ones you're not wearing.
  • Look! The first ROBIN of spring! Oh, my mistake, that's a vulture.
  • I'll beat you like a malfunctioning ROBOT beats its hapless human owner.
  • I will defeat you, and then read a book about ROBOTS.
  • I hope this attack ROBS you of your pride.
  • If this doesn't work, I'll just crush your skull with a ROCK.
  • Your world is about to get ROCKED.
  • Prepare to be ROCKETED to what's left of the Moon.
  • I'd threaten to fill your skull with ROCKS if that wasn't plainly already the case.
  • This is gonna be a ROCKY road for you.
  • Spare the ROD, spoil you.
  • I'm going to knock you off the high horse you RODE in on.
  • I'm gonna take you down like a raptor takes down a small RODENT!
  • RODENTS will nibble on your lifeless carcass!
  • I'm gonna stomp you like a bull stomps a RODEO clown.
  • I'd spare the RODS in this fight, but I don't want to spoil you.
  • I'll chop you so fine you'll look like ROE.
  • Your blood will flow like rouge, you ROGUE!
  • You don't belong in my gallery of ROGUES.
  • See the fury ROIL beneath my calm!
  • My ROLE in this fight is that of the winner.
  • Let's stick to our pre-defined ROLES: I'm the winner and you're the loser.
  • Can't stop now! I'm on a ROLL!
  • You'll be flat when this steamroller ROLLS over you!
  • You call this a fight? It's more of a hearty ROMP to me!
  • I'll defeat you, then compose a RONDEL to commemorate the battle.
  • The roof, the roof, the ROOF is on fire!
  • My knight's about to take your ROOK, and you think we're playing checkers!
  • ROOKS are gonna be plucking the eyeballs out of your lifeless corpse!
  • There isn't ROOM in this adventure for both of us!
  • You remind me of a guy I ROOMED with in college. I hated that guy.
  • Think of the chambers of your heart as ROOMS in a house. And me as a wrecking ball.
  • Your skull isn't quite ROOMY enough. Let me fix that.
  • Crows will ROOST in your ribcage as you rot!
  • Is there a pigeon that ROOSTS in your skull, or something?
  • If you want to ROOT for the winning team, cheer for me!
  • Just stay ROOTED where you are -- it'll make you easy to hit.
  • You'll be aching down to the ROOTS of your hair when I'm done with you!
  • You're at the end of your ROPE.
  • How'd I get ROPED into fighting a loser like you?
  • Let me show you the ROPES. This one is for hanging.
  • Mess with a ROSE, you're gonna get the thorns.
  • After I defeat you, I shall stop and smell the ROSES!
  • You're about to get knocked off of next season's ROSTER.
  • Your outlook isn't particularly ROSY at this point...
  • I'm gonna dispatch you and leave you here to ROT.
  • You should improvise. You fight by ROTE!
  • My last foe ROTS in a grave!
  • Something is ROTTEN here, and that thing is you.
  • I'll use your blood as ROUGE.
  • This is gonna be ROUGH.
  • I wouldn't expect you to last another ROUND!
  • I'll go as many ROUNDS as you got, buster!
  • Beware, wretch, lest you ROUSE the demon within me! ...Oh, or maybe that's just gas.
  • I shall ROUT you forthwith.
  • There is no ROUTE to victory for you!
  • Wherever you ROVE, my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) will be waiting for you.
  • I'll hit you 37 times in a ROW.
  • Charon ROWS his boat your way!
  • You're a ROYAL pain in the neck, so you've earned a regal beat-down.
  • To die, to sleep, perchance to dream -- aye, there's the RUB!
  • I'll throw you out with the rest of the RUBBISH.
  • Hey, RUBE!
  • Jeez, why am I surrounded by such RUBES?
  • I'm here to slay foes, not give foot RUBS!
  • I'll paint this land with your RUBY-red blood!
  • I hope you don't think it's RUDE of me to give you such a severe beating.
  • You'll RUE the day you crossed me.
  • I'm about to cut a RUG, then pull it from under you!
  • I'm gonna pull all the RUGS out from under you!
  • This is probably going to RUIN your shoes.
  • If it's any consolation, this fight has absolutely RUINED my manicure.
  • I'm going to leave you in RUINS!
  • Adventurers RULE OK?
  • Oh man! That attack RULED! Did you see that?
  • Even if you were a foot tall you wouldn't be a RULER!
  • You come up short on any number of RULERS!
  • I get to kick your ass and be a hero? This RULES!
  • All the RUM in the world won't make this hurt any less.
  • The rivers will RUN red with your blood.
  • In rectal verse, I even RUNE!
  • The ancient RUNES of wisdom have instructed me to kick your ass.
  • Judging by your brains, you must be the lowest RUNG on the totem pole around here.
  • Time to knock you down a few RUNGS on the Alive Ladder!
  • No RUNIC incantation can save you now!
  • You'll be dead before the fastest RUNNER could go for help!
  • Send swift RUNNERS to tell of my impending victory!
  • There's no use RUNNING. I'll catch you.
  • I'll hit you so hard it will give you the RUNS!
  • You must be the RUNT of the litter.
  • Were all of your mother's children RUNTS, or just you?
  • I hope a RUPEE pops out when I slay you.
  • I'm about to RUPTURE some of your organs.
  • No paltry RUSE will help you beat me!
  • I see through all of your desperate RUSES.
  • I don't mean to RUSH you, but could you hurry up and die?
  • You kind of RUSHED into this without thinking, didn't you?
  • Now see what happens to the fool who RUSHES in to combat with me!
  • My sword will RUST by the time you finally attack!
  • You must not get in fights often. It looks like your skills have RUSTED!
  • If you'd prefer a more RUSTIC death, I'll stab you with a pitchfork.
  • I'm a little bit RUSTY. Fortunately, you're solid rust.
  • Stuck in a RUT? I'll knock you out of it!
  • If you were in the RYE, I wouldn't bother to catch you!
  • I'm done rattling my SABER. It's time for stabbing.
  • If you can manage to survive this fight, let alone win it, I'll buy you a SABLE coat.
  • You'll wish you had never crawled out of your egg SAC!
  • I'd like to beat you with a SACK of doorknobs, but this (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) will have to do.
  • You're about to get SACKED like York.
  • They're gonna need multiple SACKS to haul your carcass out of here!
  • Don't worry; I'll make sure you're buried in SACRED ground.
  • Isn't it SAD to think you'll soon be lying in a heap on the floor?
  • If you're depressed now, you're about to get SADDER!
  • I do hate to SADDLE you with this crushing defeat.
  • I'm not a SADIST or anything, but I just can't get enough of beating the crap out of you.
  • I won't feel a moment of SADNESS when you're gone.
  • I'll crush you like a SAFE dropped from a bridge.
  • The world will be a SAFER place without you in it!
  • I'm a loaded gun and the SAFETY is off!
  • Already you're starting to SAG like a week-old balloon!
  • Your SAGA is about to end.
  • Epic SAGAS will be written about this beating.
  • As the SAGE said, I don't start fights, I finish them!
  • The greatest SAGES couldn't teach you how to beat me!
  • Momma SAID knock you out!
  • It's time you set SAIL for the shores of the underworld.
  • If you're thinking of surrendering, that ship has already SAILED.
  • Once I'm done with you, the rest is gonna be smooth SAILING.
  • Hello, SAILOR.
  • Watch as your hope of winning SAILS by!
  • It'd take the patience of a SAINT to endure you. I'm not that patient.
  • Not even the SAINTS can help you now.
  • For Pete's SAKE, just die already!
  • Ha ha ha! ...Sorry, I was just thinking about SALAD. Salad is pretty funny.
  • You're tubby and slow. Maybe eat more SALADS?
  • You're in luck! Beat-downs are on SALE today!
  • If you're peddling the idea that you'll win this fight, you're not making any SALES!
  • The only SALIENT point here is that you suck, I'm great, and you're going down.
  • Your SALINE tears will wet the ground!
  • I'd spit on you, but I wouldn't waste the SALIVA!
  • If I had a pet SALMON, I would feed you to him.
  • All your friends at the SALON will mourn your passing.
  • All the SALONS in the world won't make you look good after this.
  • By noon I'll have buried you and gone back to the SALOON!
  • Not to rub SALT in your wounds, but...
  • Soon your wounds will be freshly SALTED!
  • I'll be the SALTER of your earth.
  • I'm SALTIER than most opponents you've faced.
  • You'll need smelling SALTS after this.
  • Your SALTY language is unacceptable. I'm gonna wash your mouth out with my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • I SALUTE your dedication to being nameless cannon-fodder.
  • No SALVE will help the wounds you're about to get!
  • No amount of SALVES will heal the wounds I'll inflict!
  • Oh yeah? Well SAME to you, buddy!
  • Like SAND through the hourglass, my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) is about to go through your face.
  • This is gonna feel like pressing your face to a belt SANDER.
  • The SANDS of your hourglass have almost run out!
  • You're a house built on SANDY land, and you're about to fall!
  • No SANE person would try to pick a fight with me!
  • I'll be a lot SANER once you're defeated.
  • Gross, I'm gonna have to get my entire body SANITIZED after this.
  • Maintenance of my SANITY requires that I dispatch you.
  • My heart SANK when I saw what a sad excuse for an opponent you are!
  • You'll be leaving here SANS face, and I find that quite comical.
  • This'll SAP your resolve!
  • Don't get all SAPPY.
  • I'll make a SASH out of your hide.
  • Don't you SASS me!
  • You shouldn't have SASSED me.
  • Don't get SASSY with me, bud.
  • I've SAT on furniture with better fighting skills than yours!
  • This will SATE my appetite for destruction!
  • I won't be SATED until you're defeated.
  • I'll defeat you, then retire to the SATIN sheets of my boudoir!
  • This is neither allegory nor SATIRE, just a plain unvarnished beat-down!
  • Prepare to taste the secret SAUCE! Its main ingredient: pain!
  • I'll serve up your carcass with a variety of tasty SAUCES!
  • You'll need a SAUNA after this.
  • You think you're a hot dog, but I'm about to turn you into SAUSAGE!
  • I'm gonna turn you into black market SAUSAGES!
  • The SAVAGE heart within my breast yearns for your destruction!
  • I hope you used the last SAVE point!
  • You shall not be SAVED this time!
  • It'd be a real time SAVER if you'd just off yourself.
  • There won't be any last-minute SAVES for you!
  • I'm SAVING the best attack for last.
  • I buy ass-kickings in bulk and pass the SAVINGS on to you!
  • I'm the SAVIOR of these lands! Except for the bits with you on them.
  • Don't bother looking around -- there are no SAVIORS to be found.
  • I shall SAVOR this victory.
  • I came, I SAW, I beat your ass.
  • They're gonna play "Yakety SAX" at your funeral.
  • Would you prefer bagpipes or SAXES at your funeral?
  • Sorry, what did you SAY? I couldn't hear over the sound of me beating the hell out of you.
  • Sorry to interrupt you... You were SAYING?
  • Simon SAYS: get your face smashed in!
  • You're gonna be one big SCAB when this is over.
  • This is gonna leave some SCABS.
  • This one's gonna SCALD you.
  • The SCALE of justice has found you lacking.
  • If only your skills were SCALED to match mine!
  • I'm gonna kill you with every tool on my swiss-army knife -- even the fish SCALER.
  • Get ready for the SCALES of justice.
  • You're SCALIER than a lizard, and you smell like a muskrat.
  • I'm afraid your training dojo was a SCAM!
  • Looks like those fighting classes you took were SCAMS.
  • You're going to need some sort of as-yet-uninvented medical SCAN when this is over.
  • My SCANS show there's no intelligent life on your side of this fight.
  • You have SCANT chance of surviving this fight!
  • I'm gonna turn your entire skin into one giant SCAR.
  • You don't SCARE me! Eat this!
  • Don't be SCARED. Wait. Actually you probably should be SCARED.
  • The thought of beating you SCARES me not at all, but it should scare you!
  • You're about to look like you're wearing a crimson SCARF!
  • I've worn Halloween costumes SCARIER than you!
  • Oh, am I SCARING you? Good.
  • I hope you like SCARLET, because I'm gonna decorate this room with your blood!
  • Even if you survive this, you'll be SCARRED for life!
  • I'm gonna add some fresh new SCARS to your collection!
  • I'll destroy you so fast it'll be SCARY!
  • Shoo! SCAT! Beat it!
  • You're about to exit the SCENE, pal.
  • Let me give you a behind-the-SCENES look at The Pain Show.
  • I think, instead of going right for your skull, I'll take the SCENIC route.
  • Do you smell the sickly SCENT of your own defeat?
  • You're like a defeat SCENTED air freshener.
  • I find your SCENTS offensive. It's time to sanitize you.
  • I'm about to catalize a SCHISM between your head and your neck.
  • Welcome to the school of hard knocks. Prepare to become a Rhodes SCHOLAR.
  • Call me the bus driver, 'cause I'm taking you to SCHOOL!
  • You're about to get SCHOOLED.
  • If I can't beat you with magic, I'll use SCIENCE! It works!
  • You're not the last SCION. You're not even a Corolla!
  • Obviously your mother didn't SCOLD you enough, so I'm going to do it with this (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • Would you like a SCONE? No? How about a beating?
  • You know, I think after I rip your lungs out, I could go for some SCONES.
  • Let me give you the hot SCOOP: You're going down.
  • SCOOT a little closer, so this will hurt more.
  • When I'm done, you're gonna need a little SCOOTER to get around.
  • You fight like a dog who SCOOTS his butt across the floor!
  • The SCOPE of this beating will be epic!
  • I've SCOPED out the future, and bad news: you're not in it.
  • I'm about to hit you four SCORE and seven times!
  • No matter how this fight is SCORED, I'll win by being alive at the end!
  • I have some SCORES to settle with you!
  • Hell hath no fury like the SCORN I'm about to heap on you.
  • I'd like to fill you with SCORPIONS and sew your mouth shut, but I don't have enough time. Or scorpions.
  • I will SCOUR you from the face of this world.
  • You're about to get SCOURED like a dirty pan!
  • Prepare for your demise, vile SCOURGE!
  • I'll wipe you out like Gandalf SCOURS the Shire!
  • I'm gonna wipe that SCOWL off your face... with my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword)!
  • G'wan, SCRAM, kid! Ya bother me!
  • Time to toss you on the SCRAP heap.
  • This is going to be quite a SCRAPE!
  • You may have SCRAPED by in your last fight, but you won't survive this one.
  • Take this, you filthy cat SCRAPER.
  • Soon you'll be SCRAPS for dogs to fight over!
  • This one'll really make you SCREAM.
  • I hope you aren't a SCREAMER. I have sensitive ears.
  • Your SCREAMS are shrill, atonal, unmelodic music to my ears.
  • Your bones will be scattered among some SCREE when this is over.
  • Get ready for a withering SCREED.
  • I've really got to SCREEN my opponents more thoroughly.
  • SCREW you!
  • If you know a good SCRIBE, you should get him to write up your will.
  • The SCRIBES are gonna have a lot to say about this fight in the history books.
  • I've got a tingling in my SCROTUMS.
  • You get no love from me! It'd take hours to SCRUB off your stench!
  • No fortune teller could SCRY your future, because you haven't got one.
  • You aren't gonna get away with this, you SCUM!
  • You're among the SCUMS of the earth!
  • The Reaper's SCYTHE draws ever nearer...
  • If you think the SEA is a harsh mistress, try this on for size.
  • This blow will SEAL your fate.
  • Your fate, like my lips, is SEALED.
  • I call my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) "The Closer" 'cause it SEALS every deal.
  • I'll rip you open like a SEAM.
  • My grandpa was a SEAMAN, and he didn't appreciate people making jokes about it.
  • I'll pull you apart at the SEAMS!
  • This one's going to SEAR you like a roe, or a buck!
  • You'll have to SEARCH the tall grass for your spleen after this!
  • This fight will be forever SEARED into your memory!
  • Enjoy a heaping helping of SEARING pain!
  • Like a roe or a buck, I will avert my eyes as my attack SEARS your flesh!
  • Get ready to sail the SEAS of pain.
  • 'Tis the SEASON... for death!
  • This'll have you on the edge of your SEAT.
  • I have a deep-SEATED predilection for violence.
  • I'm gonna knock you all the way back to the cheap SEATS!
  • Hey, could you hold my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) with your face for a SEC?
  • Now go away, or I shall beat you a SECOND time.
  • The SECRET to my success is fighting losers like you!
  • You have too many SECRETS. Here, I'll knock some out of you.
  • I'm putting an end to your entire SECT of weirdos!
  • Are you trying to SEDUCE me? It won't work. Like, it really, really won't work.
  • Bet you didn't SEE this one coming!
  • You have planted the SEED of your own destruction.
  • You planted the SEEDS of evil -- now harvest the consequences!
  • I'm cleaning up the SEEDY underbelly of this land, starting with you.
  • If you SEEK humiliation, you'll find it here!
  • You SEEM tired, want to take a break? Ha ha, just kidding.
  • I bet attacking me SEEMED like a good idea at the time, huh?
  • SEEMS like you need someone to teach you some manners.
  • I thought I'd SEEN ugly, but your face takes the prize.
  • Don't worry. The bleeding will slow to a SEEP, then it'll stop entirely.
  • I'm sure flowers will grow where your blood SEEPS through the earth!
  • Here's one from the SEER to the sucker!
  • SEERS have prophesied that I will defeat you!
  • Every man who faces me SEES the Grim Reaper!
  • This blow will be equivalent in size to a SEI, which is a type of whale. It's big.
  • I'm going to SEIZE this opportunity to teach you a lesson!
  • I'm SEIZED by the sudden desire to see what you look like with your face inside-out.
  • Don't blame me when your heart SEIZES up!
  • Are you trying to attack, or having a SEIZURE?
  • Perhaps I should SELECT a more worthy opponent?
  • Nature SELECTS the fittest, and you didn't maket the cut.
  • It's like you guys don't have any SELF-control at all.
  • Phew! Smells like you're past your SELL-by date.
  • Try to keep your kidneys away from my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword), okay? I plan on SELLING them later.
  • Violence SELLS, and I'm about to make a fortune.
  • You're as foul as cooties and rat SEMEN.
  • This'll hurt worse than being run over by a SEMI.
  • You're not worth a SEN. And a SEN is barely worth anything!
  • You're less trustworthy than a SENATOR.
  • I'm gonna SEND you back to the pit that spawned you!
  • I'm stamping you Return to SENDER!
  • The SENECA had a word for this. I think it was "ouch".
  • If you think you can beat me, you must be SENILE.
  • Congratulations! I'm promoting you to SENIOR Twitching Corpse!
  • I'm starting to get the SENSE that you don't like me very much.
  • Have you taken leave of your SENSES?
  • Be SENSIBLE and stay down!
  • This will be like the opposite of a SENSUAL massage.
  • Did you get the memo I SENT? About how I'm going to kick your ass?
  • You're a mutant and I'm your SENTINEL!
  • You smell like a SEPTIC tank.
  • If you like this attack, you'll love the SEQUEL!
  • I'm gonna break every one of your bones in SEQUENCE, starting with your toes.
  • I'll knock the SEQUINS off your unitard!
  • Try to be SERENE about your impending demise.
  • I am both a hero and a SERIAL murderer.
  • Prepare for a SERIES of painful humiliations!
  • Why so SERIOUS? Oh, because I'm about to kill you. I guess it makes sense for you to be SERIOUS.
  • You think you can beat me? You? SERIOUSLY?
  • Even without a SERRATED blade to move back and forth, I'll make short work of you!
  • You may call me your waiter, because I'm about to SERVE you.
  • Revenge is a dish best SERVED by me.
  • Don't like it? Well, it SERVES you right!
  • You want me to kick your ass? Well, I'm glad to be of SERVICE!
  • Normally I charge a fee for these SERVICES, but I think I'll kill you for free.
  • Ready, SET, bleed.
  • I'm a bastard-smashing record-SETTER!
  • You can call me a SETTLER, because I'm going to settle your hash!
  • I'm gonna hit you SEVEN times, then go to St. Ides.
  • I'm afraid I'm going to have to SEVER all contact with you. Also, your arteries.
  • I'll give you SEVERAL beatings, but let's start with just one.
  • Allow me to demonstrate how my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) SEVERS your neck.
  • Do you know how to SEW? Well stitch this!
  • Oh, it's you--the SEWER must be backed up again.
  • Back to the SEWERS with you, vermin.
  • Ooh, you're gonna want to get that SEWN back on.
  • This is gonna be better than SEX. For me, I mean. Not for you.
  • I'll hit you so hard you'll forget the first time you SEXED an animal for biology class!
  • SEXES is the hottest palindrome! Also, take this!
  • Not only am I stronger and smarter than you, I'm SEXIER, too!
  • I'm the SEXIEST adventurer alive, and I'll brutally murder anyone who says different!
  • Let's get this over with; I've got SEXING to do.
  • Is it SEXIST to say you fight like a girl? A ten-year-old girl?
  • No number of SEXTANTS will navigate you safely through this fight!
  • A SEXTET of compatriots wouldn't help you beat me!
  • You're gonna need more than just SEXUAL healing when I'm done here.
  • You'll be considerably less SEXY after this...
  • You're about to turn a whiter SHADE of pale.
  • My future's so bright, I gotta wear SHADES.
  • There'll be nothing left of you but your SHADOW once I'm finished.
  • Your SHADY dealings are about to come to an abrupt end.
  • You mess with the arrow, you're gonna get the SHAFT.
  • If you SHAG like you fight, I feel sorry for your lover!
  • You fight like your mother SHAGS: it's over far too soon!
  • I'm the SHAH of slaughter!
  • It will be hard for you to SHAKE the sting of defeat!
  • You're looking a bit SHAKEN. Wanna take a break? Have a cup of tea? Die?
  • I'm thinking your skull would make a good novelty cocktail SHAKER.
  • This fight SHAKES my belief that I'll ever find a worthy opponent.
  • You're getting SHAKY. Maybe you should sit down for a minute.
  • SHALE is a type of oil-rich stone. But that's not important right now. Take this!
  • You SHALL not pass!
  • I can't be bothered to dig a deep one, so I'll bury you in a SHALLOW grave!
  • Thou SHALT not kill. Me, on the other hand...
  • You hit as hard as a pillow. You're a total SHAM!
  • How fast I beat you will SHAME your entire family!
  • You have SHAMED your ancestors. They asked me to do this to you.
  • Your ugliness SHAMES your entire ancestral line.
  • If we were in prison together I would SHANK you!
  • I'll build a SHANTY out of your bones. A very, very small SHANTY.
  • You may be out of SHAPE now, but you'll be worse when I'm done with you!
  • I'll keep your heart in a heart SHAPED box!
  • I am the SHAPER of your destiny, which, by the way, ends here.
  • I'll bend you into all sorts of unpleasant SHAPES!
  • When I'm through with you, you won't have a SHARD of dignity left!
  • I'm gonna break your bones into tiny pointy SHARDS.
  • Momma taught me to SHARE, so have some of this!
  • You'll get the full portion of my beatdown. None of it will be SHARED!
  • I've always been an enthusiastic SHARER of violence.
  • Your SHARES in Pain, LLC have just matured!
  • I'm not selfish -- I enjoy SHARING pain.
  • You mess with a SHARK, you're gonna get the teeth.
  • This is so easy, I'm beginning to suspect I'm being SHARKED.
  • A pack of SHARKS wouldn't wound you as bad as I'm about to!
  • You're about as SHARP as a week-old mushroom!
  • I'm just gonna SHARPEN my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) on your ribs, if that's okay.
  • I've seen marshmallows SHARPER than you!
  • I've SHAT things more intimidating than you!
  • Get ready for the closest SHAVE you'll ever experience.
  • Your friends are gonna think you SHAVED with a lawnmower this morning.
  • I hope you're clean-SHAVEN for the coroner!
  • I've been preparing for this since I was a little SHAVER!
  • Let's hope this attack SHAVES a few years off your life!
  • I'm SHAVING years off your life!
  • That's what SHE said.
  • I'm going to SHEAR you like a sheep!
  • You won't be so snarky after I've SHEATHED my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) in your lung.
  • This is the sound of me SHEATHING my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) in your torso.
  • Get ready to SHED some of those unwanted pounds.
  • You're rapidly SHEDDING any hope of winning!
  • I'm going to cut you in half and lock you in two SHEDS! Or something.
  • Your flop sweat forms an oily SHEEN over your entire body!
  • Let's face it: I'm the wolf and you're the SHEEP!
  • I'm doing this for the SHEER joy of it.
  • When I'm done with you, you won't need a SHEET to dress like a ghost!
  • You must be six or eight SHEETS to the wind, if you think you can take me!
  • I'll keep a souvenir of your defeat on my trophy SHELF!
  • You've really come out of your SHELL. Allow me to shove you back in!
  • I wonder if I could make a little SHELTER out of your skin and ribcage.
  • I've never SHIED away from a good fight!
  • Nothing can SHIELD you from this onslaught.
  • Your SHIELDS are useless against my awesomeness!
  • Your SHIFT at the pain factory just started!
  • Are you a real monster, or just a SHILL? You aren't very threatening.
  • I'm gonna kick you in every SHIN you have.
  • I'm gonna SHINE my shoes with your lungs.
  • I SHINED my shield today, so try not to bleed on it too much!
  • I'm fixing to give you a big purple SHINER!
  • I'm going to give you a couple of SHINERS, Jack! So get off the trolley or I'll give you the rope-a-dope!
  • I'm gonna ram this weapon where the sun never SHINES!
  • My trophy shelf is about to get SHINIER!
  • This will hurt worse than four stubbed toes and two barked SHINS.
  • You want to see my bad side? SHINY. Let's be bad guys.
  • If you were waiting for a beating, your SHIP just came in!
  • Your SHIPS have come in, and they're all SHIPS of pain.
  • You're as good a fighter as an obese hobbit from the SHIRE!
  • I'm the toughest fighter in all the SHIRES.
  • Killing you is a duty I'll not SHIRK!
  • This one's gonna knock your SHIRT off.
  • I wonder how many SHIRTS I could make out of your hide?
  • I'm pleasantly surprised that I'm allowed to say SHIT!
  • I have more disdain for you than for a dog who SHITS on my bed!
  • I appear to have a relatively SHITTY vocabulary!
  • This'll hurt like a SHIV in the shower.
  • This'll send a SHIVER up your spine.
  • I'll leave you washed up and bleeding on the SHOAL!
  • Prepare to be cast on the rocky SHOALS of death!
  • How will you be SHOD once I defeat you?
  • You won't be as pretty when you're on the bottom of my SHOE.
  • I'm gonna beat you senseless and then steal your SHOES.
  • The light of day has SHONE on you for the last time!
  • You buzz like a fly. SHOO!
  • Whoo! I'm all SHOOK up!
  • I prefer to SHOOT first and ask questions never.
  • I'm going to be a straight SHOOTER here: you're doomed.
  • You'll be pushing up bamboo SHOOTS soon.
  • Do you suppose there's a SHOP were you can buy more prowess?
  • If you remembered to SHORE up your defenses, this wouldn't hurt as much.
  • If you had SHORED up your defenses, maybe you'd have a chance.
  • I'm going to kick you onto the distant SHORES of next week!
  • I'll soon have you SHORN like a sheep and ready for slaughter!
  • Life is SHORT. Especially yours.
  • I'm about to SHORTEN your lifespan!
  • Hmm, you're SHORTER than I imagined you would be.
  • I'll turn the pants of your life into SHORTS!
  • If anybody asks -- I SHOT first.
  • This SHOULD be over pretty quickly.
  • Ooh, did I dislocate your SHOULDER? That's not gonna make you a better fighter.
  • It won't do you any good, but go ahead and SHOUT for help!
  • Take this, I SHOUTED, referring to myself in the past tense.
  • Push is about to come to SHOVE.
  • Since I'll be digging your grave, I hope you brought a SHOVEL!
  • You need to be pushed to the ground, and I'm the SHOVER to do it!
  • Let me be the one who SHOVES you into an early grave!
  • Is this your first fight, or something? Let me SHOW you how it's done.
  • You should never have SHOWED your face around here.
  • Prepare to explode in a SHOWER of gore!
  • Have you ever been SHOWN your own intestines?
  • I'm going to hit you so hard, your bones will spray out like SHRAPNEL!
  • Man, you must not have a SHRED of dignity left.
  • I think I'll build a SHRINE in memory of your incompetence.
  • There won't be any SHRINES built to your memory!
  • I hope you brought your own burial SHROUD!
  • I'm going to kill you and bury you under some anonymous SHRUB.
  • You won't be able to SHRUG this one off.
  • SHUN. SHUN the unbeliever.
  • Allow me to SHUNT you off of this mortal coil!
  • You'll wish my attacks had been SHUNTED to some other unlucky sap!
  • SHUT your mouth, or I'll shut it for you!
  • You're on a SHUTTLE to Paintown.
  • C'mere and let me smash your face in. Don't be SHY.
  • I'm sure to defaet [SIC] you.
  • Do you know a veterinarian? Because my pythons are SICK!
  • You're on the wrong SIDE of history, villain!
  • I'm gonna split your SIDES. Not with laughter, but with violence.
  • You'll be breathing out of your nose SIDEWAYS when I'm done with you!
  • I'm a one-(woman/man) SIEGE, and here comes the catapult! Or something.
  • You're about to get SIEGED like a castle!
  • I'm gonna put so many holes in you, they'll be able to use you as a SIEVE.
  • The thought of continuing to fight you makes me SIGH.
  • This injury is coming to you special delivery! SIGN here.
  • Dear jerk: die. SIGNED, (your name).
  • When it comes to death warrants, I'm a SIGNER!
  • The SIGNS indicate that you aren't leaving here alive.
  • SILENCE, worm! Speak not until you are spoken to!
  • You're about to be SILENCED for good.
  • This last blow SILENCES you forever!
  • This is gonna be SILENT, but deadly.
  • My attacks are as smooth as SILK!
  • Prepare for the SILKEN embrace of death.
  • They won't use SILKS for your shroud. You'll probably get burlap!
  • I'll make pies out of you and leave them cooling on window SILLS!
  • You really think you're going to win? You're so SILLY.
  • This is going to hurt worse than that time that SILO fell on you.
  • I'm going to stomp you into SILT!
  • The ground in which I'll bury you will be SILTY!
  • This is a two-person fight, and you're about to win the SILVER medal!
  • Your cloud is about to be bereft of its SILVERY lining.
  • Your face and my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) are not SIMILAR, but they're about to be close together.
  • I will defeat you like a SIMILE defeats ambiguity.
  • Are you going to hit me, or just prance and SIMPER?
  • This fight will be SIMPLE -- I will win, and you will lose.
  • One does not SIMPLY win a fight with me!
  • The wages of SIN is this!
  • SINCE you're so ugly, I'll just put you out of your misery.
  • Though my taunts are snarky, my loathing for you is quite SINCERE.
  • I don't mean to go on a tangent, but this isn't a good SINE for you!
  • I'll calculate the SINES of... no, wait. I'll just attack you, that's easier.
  • I'm gonna cut out your SINEWS and turn you into an awful marionette!
  • You're gonna SING soprano in a minute!
  • This'll SINGE your eyebrows!
  • Your eyebrows are gonna be SINGED after this one.
  • You're a better SINGER than a fighter, and you don't sing particularly well!
  • There won't be any SINGERS writing ballads for you!
  • I can't think of a SINGLE reason to let you live.
  • I know why the caged bird SINGS -- it's because he hates you.
  • The ship of your life is about to SINK.
  • You're clearly not a swimmer, but a SINKER!
  • You've made a titanic blunder, and now you're SINKING!
  • I see your face go pale as your heart SINKS in your chest!
  • You've SINNED plenty, and here are the wages of it.
  • SINNER or saint, you're about to meet your maker!
  • Join the line of SINNERS I've sent to purgatory!
  • Your days of SINNING are about to come to an end.
  • Prepare to die for your own SINS!
  • Hold still and I'll drill you a new SINUS cavity.
  • I'll kick your butt so hard you'll feel it in your SINUSES!
  • Take a SIP from my cup of pain!
  • Yes SIR, that's my weapon in your neck.
  • Your name is mud, and you can call me SIRE!
  • I'll hit you so hard the guy who SIRED you will feel it!
  • Hear the SIREN song of your impending doom!
  • I'll make you feel like SIRENS turned you into a toad!
  • Sucker M.C.s better call me one of their SIRES!
  • You're gonna look like chopped SIRLOIN when I'm done with you.
  • Tell your SIS I said hi.
  • Maybe if you were less of a SISSY, this wouldn't be happening to you.
  • I've had harder fights with my SISTER!
  • SIT on this!
  • Welcome to the future SITE of your unmarked grave.
  • If I fits, I SITS, and if its you, I beats.
  • I'm gonna hit you so hard you'll be seeing SIX of me.
  • I'm afraid we're at SIXES and sevens here, so you'll be eight by nine!
  • SIXTY percent of the time, this attack works every time!
  • It is my intention to do a SIZABLE amount of damage to your skull.
  • Try this on for SIZE!
  • I'm ordering you a super-SIZED combo meal of pain!
  • This beating comes in several SIZES.
  • I see you SIZING me up. I'll save you the trouble: I'm huge.
  • SKATE or die! Wait. Never mind that first option.
  • You've SKATED through life for too long. It's time to grow up and die.
  • Later, SKATER.
  • SKATERS gonna skate, haters gonna hate.
  • Tell me, is it sad to watch as your hope of victory SKATES by you?
  • You are SKATING on the thinnest of ice!
  • There's gonna be nothing left of your face but a SKID mark.
  • You'd be a great fighter if you had just one thing: SKILL!
  • I'm far too SKILLED for you to defeat me.
  • My SKILLS are more than a match for the likes of you.
  • I'm just gonna SKIM a little off the top -- of your skull.
  • I'll knock you right out of your SKIN!
  • I hope this attack SKINS you alive!
  • Let's just SKIP to the part where I kick your ass.
  • Let's not SKIRT the issue: you're going to die.
  • We've SKIRTED the issue long enough -- have at you!
  • I bet I could beat you one-handed while wearing SKIS!
  • I'm gonna put on a SKIT about beating you up. Let's rehearse.
  • I'm gonna fill your SKULL with vodka, and then throw it away just to spite you!
  • I'll knock you SKY high!
  • I'm going to give your skull a SKYLIGHT!
  • I've got a mortuary SLAB all picked out for you.
  • They're gonna need several seperate mortuary SLABS when I'm done with you!
  • I won't cut you any SLACK, but I could cut you a sucking chest wound.
  • You must've been a real SLACKER in fighting school.
  • SLACKERS like you will never learn, will they.
  • I'm gonna melt you down into SLAG!
  • You're far less skilled than most I have SLAIN!
  • Nothing can SLAKE my thirst for violence.
  • My thirst for blood has yet to be SLAKED!
  • I'm going to SLAM you like poetry!
  • Yet another door SLAMS in your sad, sad face!
  • You'll never SLANDER my good name again.
  • I don't understand the SLANG of kids today, and it makes me very angry!
  • You'll walk at a SLANT after this one.
  • The last article you wrote was unforgivably SLANTED. Take this!
  • This is gonna be a real SLAP in the face.
  • This won't be just a couple of SLAPS on the wrist!
  • I will SLASH you and leave you on your duff.
  • Observe how my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) SLASHES your torso into ribbons!
  • Let's make this quick. I've got a full SLATE of fools to beat today!
  • I'm sorry, but you're SLATED for demolition today.
  • I'm going to wipe your SLATES clean!
  • Perhaps instead of killing you, I'll keep you for a SLAVE. Nah, that'd just be wrong.
  • I hope you enjoy this plate of hot, steaming death--I SLAVED away all morning to make it.
  • You'll wish I had sold you to a SLAVER when I'm done with you!
  • War is peace, freedom is SLAVERY, and you're a good fighter.
  • As SLAVES must ultimately overthrow their masters, I must ultimately beat you up and take your stuff.
  • I'll shred you into a SLAW!
  • I'll shred you like some SLAWS.
  • Forsooth, ye varlet, for I shall SLAY thee!
  • Hi, I'll be your SLAYER this evening. Can I start you off with a stabbing?
  • If you thought I was funny before, wait 'til this one SLAYS you!
  • I bet I could make a pretty good SLED out of your ribcage.
  • Hear the SLEDGES with their bells? Those bells toll for you!
  • I'll break off your arms and use them as SLEDS.
  • It's time for you to take the big SLEEP, dirtbag.
  • The SLEEPER must awaken. I know - I'll wake him up by beating you senseless.
  • My last opponent SLEEPS beneath the daisies!
  • Watching you try to fight is making me SLEEPY.
  • This rain of pain and snow of blows will lead to a SLEET of defeat!
  • This may end up being the first time I actually SLEPT through a fight.
  • Here's a whole SLEW of hurt for you!
  • I'm gonna SLICE you like a loaf of homemade bread. Or something.
  • Let's see how tough you talk with your neck SLICED open.
  • I am the SLICER, and you're the slicee.
  • How many SLICES of this pain pie would you like? All of them? Done.
  • Check out this SLICK move.
  • You may think you're pretty slick, but my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) is SLICKER! Because of your blood on it!
  • I wish I'd have fought you before you SLID into incompetence.
  • See how easily you SLIDE into defeat!
  • Let's get this over with so I can go get a SLIDER at the tavern.
  • I'll slice your body into SLIDERS!
  • Watch as your hope of winning SLIDES away!
  • Hear that? That's the sound of your life SLIDING away.
  • Your chances of survival are SLIM and none!
  • I'm going to pound you into a puddle of SLIME!
  • I'll leave you feeling like you got SLIMED by a ghost!
  • I've fought SLIMES with better skills!
  • Keep your SLIMY appendages to yourself, villain!
  • I'm sending you home with your ass in a SLING!
  • Get ready for the SLINGS and arrows of outrageous fortune!
  • I'm gonna enjoy watching you SLINK out of here with your teeth in your pocket.
  • You can't give me the SLIP that easily!
  • See how quickly your life SLIPS away!
  • I'm gonna SLIT your throat and leave you for the vultures.
  • I'll cut more SLITS in you than a sheet-slitter could slit sheets!
  • The wounds I'll give you will be, apparently, SLITTY!
  • Not a SLIVER of dignity will remain when I'm through with you!
  • I'll be picking SLIVERS of you out of my teeth after this.
  • Why do I have to fight this SLOB? Send out someone with a little class!
  • Let's not make this fight a SLOG. I'll kill you quickly!
  • No clever SLOGANS this time, just a beating!
  • Let's get this over with -- I need to go SLOP the hogs.
  • You're definitely on a downhill SLOPE!
  • Let's get this over with. I want to hit the SLOPES.
  • That SLOSH you hear is your blood hitting the floor.
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) is Tab A, and your skull is SLOT B.
  • You're slower than a glue-covered SLOTH!
  • You'd have better odds playing the SLOTS than you do of beating me!
  • If you were any more SLOW you'd be going backwards!
  • You've SLOWED down a bit -- getting tired, champ?
  • You're SLOWER than a slug on sandpaper!
  • I'm going to pound you into SLUDGE! If I can find some sludge nearby!
  • You're a pathetic, miserable SLUG!
  • You'll soon be food for the SLUGS.
  • I'll muck your SLUICE box!
  • I'm a penthouse apartment and you're a SLUM!
  • I'll not rest until you're SLUMPED over in defeat!
  • Your very name is a SLUR against all of your people!
  • I hate it when people SLURP their food. I also hate you.
  • I'm going to beat you into a thin SLURRY.
  • Not only am I about to kill you, but your mother's a SLUT!
  • Beating you will be as easy as the SLUTS in your family tree!
  • You're a SLY one, but not SLY enough!
  • I am going to give you such a SMACK!
  • I'm gonna use your SMALL intestine for... I dunno, a jump rope or something.
  • Your chances of survival shrink ever SMALLER!
  • If you were SMART, you wouldn't have attacked me.
  • If you were SMARTER, you'd just walk away.
  • I've got more SMARTS in my little finger than you've got in your whole body!
  • SMASH! SMASH! SMASH!
  • What does my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) do? It SMASHES you.
  • I'm gonna SMEAR you all over the landscape!
  • There won't be anything left of you but red SMEARS on the walls!
  • I can SMELL the defeat on you! It smells like rotten cranberries!
  • You fight like a dead fish, and you've SMELT like one, too!
  • This is gonna feel like being dropped in a SMELTER.
  • I'm about to wipe that SMILE off your face!
  • Such an easy victory! The gods have SMILED on me!
  • After this is over, I'll be the SMILER, because victory makes me happy.
  • Fortune SMILES on me. You? Not so much.
  • Wipe that insufferable SMIRK off your face.
  • Verily I SMITE thee!
  • This is the hand that SMITES you down!
  • When we're done here, you'll need a doctor and your sword will need a SMITH!
  • I'm gonna blast you into SMITHEREENS!
  • I will enjoy SMITING you.
  • You're less hazardous to my health than SMOG!
  • I'm gonna SMOKE you like a pound of bacon!
  • I just totally SMOKED some pals of yours, and I'm gonna do the same to you!
  • You're short of breath already? Are you a heavy SMOKER?
  • I will smite you until you are comprehensively SMOTE.
  • You won't look so SMUG when your face is on the other side of your skull.
  • I'm gonna wipe that SMUGNESS right off your face!
  • I'm all over you like SMUT on corn!
  • If fights were food, you wouldn't even be a SNACK.
  • Looks like your plan hit a SNAG -- me!
  • I will crush you like a SNAIL beneath my boot.
  • You'll be food for the SNAILS when I'm through with you!
  • Take this, you sneaky SNAKE.
  • Your blood has SNAKED through your twisted veins for long enough.
  • I'll kick you off this plane like a bunch of SNAKES!
  • I'll SNAP your neck like a toothpick!
  • The next thing you'll hear is your femur, as it SNAPS.
  • I'll kick you like a bass drum and hit you like a SNARE!
  • You've been SNARED by your own ineptitude.
  • I won't be caught in your SNARES!
  • Look, when I call you ugly, that's not just SNARK. You are demonstrably gross.
  • Don't you SNARL at me! It's very rude!
  • You'd be better off trying to SNEAK away in shame!
  • Wipe that SNEER off your face, or I'll slice it off!
  • Sorry if I SNEERED at you just then. You're just so hopeless.
  • I'm sure everyone you meet SNEERS at you.
  • You know how sometimes it feels like you're going to SNEEZE, but you don't? I hate that!
  • One time I SNEEZED, and what came out looked like you!
  • No need to be SNIDE.
  • I'll dispatch you, then go on a SNIPE hunt. My friends are all jerks.
  • I'd say you're finished, unless you have a SNIPER hidden somewhere.
  • You've SNIVELED your last, wretch.
  • I hate to be a SNOB, but I can't even stand looking at you.
  • I'll wear your hide as a SNOOD!
  • Not to be SNOOTY, but I am way better at fighting than you are.
  • This fight is a real SNOOZE. Let's get it over with.
  • At least you won't SNORE after I decapitate you!
  • Sorry if I SNORED a bit just then. You're not the most dynamic fighter.
  • Just so you know: your mother SNORES.
  • I'll dispatch you, then head to the pub for a SNORT of fine brandy.
  • How many different things have you SNORTED today?
  • You're an obnoxious little SNOT.
  • I offer you cold comfort: there's SNOW way you're getting out of this alive!
  • The SNOWS would cover your bones, if it ever snowed here.
  • Soon you'll be nice and SNUG in a pine box!
  • A SOAK in the hot tub won't cure the pain I'm about to deal out!
  • The ground will be SOAKED in your blood when this is over.
  • I'll make SOAP from your rendered fat!
  • Can we hurry up and finish this? I'm missing my SOAPS.
  • I will SOAR like an eagle as you sink like a stone!
  • You're SOARING for a goring!
  • While your prospects sink, my talent SOARS!
  • Don't SOB -- that'll only make it worse.
  • If I'd have known this would be so easy, I wouldn't have done it SOBER!
  • I'm going to use your head as an amusing novelty SOCCER ball.
  • Gosh, I never know what to say in awkward SOCIAL situations like this.
  • You're a menace to SOCIETY.
  • I'm gonna SOCK you one right in the kisser!
  • I'll bet you've never been SOCKED this hard before!
  • I'll rip your arm from its SOCKET and beat you with it!
  • I don't think you're gonna like what I do to your eye SOCKETS.
  • This is going to knock your SOCKS off, and not in a good way.
  • I'm going to pound you into the turf if you don't SOD off!
  • I'll bash your head in and then go have a SODA!
  • You wanna go grab some SODAS after this? Uh, I mean, die!
  • This beating may be painful, but at least it's not SODOMY!
  • Time for your dirt nap -- just like the rest of those poor SODS!
  • I'll upholster my SOFA with your skin!
  • A dozen SOFAS couldn't break the fall you're about to take!
  • Sorry, but if I don't kill you, everyone'll think I'm going SOFT.
  • Maybe some pummelling will SOFTEN that hide of yours.
  • Your hide is a lot SOFTER than I expected. Your bones, too.
  • Some days I'm a real SOFTIE. Today is not one of those days.
  • Your drawers will be SOGGIER when this is over.
  • You're about as tough as a SOGGY noodle.
  • Careful not to SOIL yourself because of the pain.
  • You appear to have SOILED yourself. It happens all the time to people who face me.
  • This attack is likely to result in you SOILING your trousers.
  • Ugh, I must beat this fool before it SOILS its trousers out of fear.
  • You're SOL now, buddy! By which I mean the fifth tone of a diatonic scale.
  • You can take SOLACE in the fact that your pain, like you, will be short-lived.
  • I'm gonna knock your ass right out of the SOLAR system!
  • You should never have SOLD your soul to evil.
  • Well, maybe you can SOLDER those bones back together. Or duct tape?
  • Don't worry, after you're gone I'll SOLDIER on somehow.
  • My fists are like SOLDIERS, and you're about to get invaded.
  • I wouldn't scrape you off the SOLE of my shoe!
  • It is my SOLEMN vow to crush and humiliate you.
  • This will be a SOLID hit, you snake.
  • Your doctor's gonna have to take you off SOLIDS for a while.
  • You're gonna regret attacking me SOLO!
  • I believe I've thought of the perfect SOLUTION to your ugliness problem.
  • I'm about to SOLVE your little "being alive" problem.
  • Are you tired of being alive? Problem SOLVED.
  • This sword is my problem SOLVER!
  • Let's hope this attack SOLVES your "being alive" problem.
  • How about SOME of this? You like that?
  • This is great, I've been hoping SOMEONE would be dumb enough to attack me.
  • I think there's SOMETHING wrong with your skull. It's still in one piece.
  • SOMETIMES I just get so angry.
  • If I had a SON, I would forbid him to marry you.
  • Your eyes will be so swollen after this you'll need SONAR to get around.
  • Some bard is gonna write a SONG about how gruesomely I killed you.
  • They'll write SONGS about this battle.
  • I'm gonna kill you so fast, they'll hear the SONIC boom in the next county.
  • Bards shall compose SONNETS in honor of my victory!
  • I won't write SONNETS in your memory. Not even a haiku.
  • It's time to take you to the woodshed, SONNY.
  • I'll hit you so hard your SONS will feel it!
  • Don't worry; it'll all be over SOON!
  • I'll win this fight SOONER or later. Probably SOONER.
  • When I'm done with you, there'll be nothing left but SOOT!
  • You'll never beat me, SOOTY knave!
  • I'm gonna kick your ass so hard, your grandma will be SORE.
  • This is going to leave a number of SORES.
  • SORRY, was that your spleen?
  • Kill 'em all, and let The Hand SORT 'em out!
  • Prepare to be SORTED, alphabetized, and filed!
  • You're about to experience all SORTS of unpleasant stimuli!
  • Don't be such a SOT.
  • I am about to liberate your SOUL from its mortal cage!
  • Prepare to join the other poor SOULS who lost to me!
  • I'll give you a SOUND thrashing!
  • I love the SOUNDS your bones make as they shatter.
  • I'll make SOUP with your bones!
  • Allow me to wipe that SOUR expression from your face.
  • I'll be the SOURCE of more pain than you can imagine.
  • For you, the fresh smell of victory SOURS into the foul stench of defeat!
  • This fight is about to go SOUTH for you.
  • You reap what you SOW, dirtbag!
  • You SOWED the wind, now it's time to reap the whirlwind.
  • I'll spill so much of your blood you'll never get the red off your SOX!
  • I'll serve you your own liver for breakfast. With SOY sauce.
  • The best SPA in the world won't make you feel better after this.
  • In SPACE, no one can hear you scream. Down here, they'll hear it all over town.
  • ...Oh, sorry, I SPACED out for a second there. Are you still trying to kill me?
  • Let's call a SPADE a SPADE, and then hit you with it.
  • You want violence? You'll get it in SPADES.
  • I'm gonna cut you into little blocks and sell you as discount SPAM.
  • The SPAN of your life grows ever shorter!
  • I'm gonna knock all the SPANGLES off your leotard.
  • I'm about to SPANK you like a bad, bad donkey!
  • Prepare to get SPANKED, and not in a fun way!
  • If you intend to SPAR with a god, make sure your arms are long enough!
  • Have you got a SPARE liver? No? Well, that's a pity.
  • Nobody will be SPARED my wrath. Especially you.
  • Sorry about your liver. Did you bring SPARES?
  • Was that an actual attack, or just a muscle SPASM?
  • It's time to end this little SPAT of ours.
  • Get ready for a SPATE of bleeding.
  • If I could go back in time, I'd have your mom SPAYED.
  • I don't expect perfection, but do you have to fight like a total SPAZ?
  • Every time you SPEAK, my opinion of you falls even lower.
  • I bet the SPEAKERS at your funeral are really gonna struggle to come up with nice things to say.
  • A blow to the head SPEAKS louder than words.
  • I'm gonna put your head on a SPEAR and use it to decorate my front yard.
  • Cower as my attack SPEARS you through the very soul!
  • Whew, you sure are a SPECIAL one, aren't you?
  • Today's SPECIALS are a fresh knuckle sandwich, and a massive concussion.
  • What SPECIES are you? Are you a person? I don't understand.
  • Can you feel the grim SPECTER of death approaching, carrying his grim sceptre?
  • You've SPED up your death significantly by attacking me.
  • No time for a fancy SPEECH, I'm here to kick your ass.
  • Your SPEED is no match for my cunning.
  • There's no hex, curse or SPELL that will avail against me!
  • I'm going to assume your name is SPELT m-o-r-o-n.
  • You haven't got much time left to SPEND!
  • After this, you'll be SPENT.
  • I'll beat you so hard your daddy's SPERM will feel it!
  • Your face just makes me want to SPEW forever without stopping.
  • This fight's a little bland. Let's SPICE it up a bit!
  • I hope this devastating attack SPICES up this boring fight!
  • Prepare yourself -- this one is gonna be SPICY.
  • I am the SPIDER, and you are the fly. Skitter skitter.
  • You know, I really hate SPIDERS. They're so gross. I don't know why I'm telling you this.
  • Have you SPIED any chance of your winning this fight? I didn't think so.
  • I've heard this SPIEL before.
  • I cannot abide SPIES, and there's a very slim chance that you are one. Take this!
  • Since you don't have a blood SPIGOT, I'll have to improvise.
  • I'm gonna swap my lawn flamingo for your head on a SPIKE.
  • This pain is unlikely to be SPIKED with pleasure.
  • I'm about to SPILL some blood, or any other fluids you've got!
  • No sense in crying over SPILT blood.
  • I'm going to put you in the SPIN cycle and hang you out to dry!
  • I'm here to teach you the real meaning of SPINAL fracture!
  • I'm gonna tear out your SPINE and beat you to death with the pelvis end.
  • I am as SPINED as you are spineless.
  • Take this, you SPINELESS coward!
  • I wish you had multiple SPINES for me to break.
  • I'll hit you so hard you'll get the SPINS.
  • I'm gonna slice you up like a SPIRAL-cut ham!
  • I'll carve SPIRALS into you like a ham!
  • I'm gonna hang your sorry carcass from a SPIRE as a warning to others!
  • You shall never again see the SPIRES of your native land!
  • Is your SPIRIT flagging yet? How about if I kick you in the parts again?
  • Blood will SPIRT from your many wounds!
  • I'll bury you, then SPIT on your grave.
  • I was considering just knocking you out, but now I'm gonna kill you just out of SPITE.
  • Are you still alive? You're just doing it to be SPITEFUL, aren't you?
  • I'll be the one who chews you up and SPITS you out!
  • You're about to go SPLAT. Call it onomatopoetic justice.
  • The SPLATS my fists are about to make will be very satisfying.
  • This one's gonna rupture your SPLEEN.
  • I have two SPLEENS and I'm ready to vent 'em!
  • You're a SPLINTER and I'm the tweezers!
  • I'm gonna SPLIT you down the middle like a two-stick popsicle!
  • This is gonna SPOIL your day.
  • You're a SPOILED brat. Prepare to be spanked!
  • SPOILER alert: I'm about to kick your ass.
  • Sorry for the SPOILERS, but this fight ends with you in the ground.
  • To the victor go the SPOILS. And I just love SPOILS.
  • I thought that last guy was ugly, but I guess I SPOKE too soon.
  • Your destruction is imminent. I have SPOKEN.
  • Boy, you soak up damage like a SPONGE.
  • They're gonna need a lot of SPONGES to mop up your remains.
  • Boo! Sorry, did I SPOOK you? Do you need to change trousers?
  • A penny for a SPOOL of thread, a penny for a beating.
  • There is no SPOON. There is only pain.
  • Not only will I kill you, but I SPOONED your mom last night!
  • There'll be so little left of you, they'll dig your grave with SPOONS.
  • You're no better than the SPOOR of a goat.
  • Anyone seeking you will not even find your SPOORS!
  • I have met fungus SPORES with more fighting acumen than you possess!
  • Killing you will be fine SPORT!
  • Do you like SPORTS? Because your head would make a pretty good football.
  • This will really hit the SPOT.
  • I'll smack you so hard you'll see SPOTS!
  • I'm tired of listening to you SPOUT nonsense. Die!
  • Let's get this over with before I SPRAIN my ankle.
  • You're about to emit a SPRAY of teeth!
  • I hope you don't have any plans till next SPRING, coz that's when you'll be waking up.
  • You're doing SPRINTS and I'm in it for the long haul!
  • You're going to fight me? What a willful little SPRITE you are.
  • You won't be so SPRY in a full-body cast!
  • I'll raise a lump on your head the size of a SPUD.
  • The last guy I fought, I SPUN him like a top!
  • I hope you don't mind me killing you like this -- it was all pretty SPUR-of-the-moment.
  • This is how I SPURN unwanted advances -- with a (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • You have SPURRED in me a desire to beat you senseless.
  • That SPURT of blood is an indication that you aren't going to win.
  • The fight's not half over and you're already SPUTTERING to a halt!
  • I SPY, with my little eye, something that's about to have the crap beaten out of it.
  • I could defeat a whole SQUAD of you.
  • You're a gibbering, SQUAMOUS jackanape!
  • Now would be a good time to get SQUARE with whatever gods you worship.
  • You should never have SQUARED off against me.
  • I'll knock the SQUARES out of all of your pockets!
  • I'm going to SQUASH you like a gourd and smash you like a pumpkin!
  • You obviously know SQUAT about fighting.
  • SQUEAL like a pig!
  • You smell like a SQUIB. Or, wait. Am I thinking of a squid?
  • I'll strangle you like a giant SQUID!
  • I'm gonna cut you into chum and feed you to the SQUIDS!
  • You know, if I SQUINT, you almost look sentient.
  • This one will make even the SQUINTERS open their eyes wide!
  • You aren't fit to be the SQUIRE of the knight that gets defeated by me!
  • I don't need any SQUIRES, I'll defeat you all on my own.
  • I wish you wouldn't SQUIRM like that, you're throwing off my aim.
  • You're a little SQUIRT about to get drowned in a raging river!
  • Mad, I didn't expect you to be this SQUISHY.
  • Let me take a STAB at defeating you!
  • If your home environment had been more STABLE, you'd have avoided this sorry fate.
  • I may not be the first, but let me be the last person who STABS you.
  • STAG party? Whoops, I thought you said stab. Sorry!
  • All the world's a STAGE, and you're about to exit.
  • I couldn't be winning this fight any harder if it were STAGED.
  • This is gonna be a whirlwind tour of all of the STAGES of grief.
  • You are a STAID and stalwart foe, but I will demolish you just the same.
  • When I'm done with you, you'll just be a STAIN on the floor.
  • This whole area will be STAINED with your blood after this.
  • If you get blood STAINS on my new shirt, I'm gonna be mad.
  • If anyone asks, you tell them you got these bruises falling down a STAIR!
  • Do you have STAIRS in your... never mind.
  • If you don't understand what's at STAKE, you'll soon be tied to one!
  • You STAKED your claim, and I'm jumping it.
  • Time to raise the STAKES!
  • Both your wit and your fighting tactics are STALE!
  • Your wit is STALER than month-old bread.
  • I'll snap you like a STALK of celery.
  • It won't do you any good to STALL; I'll corral you for sure!
  • You've STALLED long enough -- when are you going to fight me for real?
  • I'm going to STAMP the evil out of this valley, starting with you.
  • You're an official document and I'm the STAMPER!
  • Your STANCE on this issue is indefensible!
  • I can't STAND the thought of not beating nine kinds of hell out of you.
  • This is my STANDARD means of dealing with grunts like you.
  • You are not up to my STANDARDS.
  • The best fighter STANDS no chance of beating me. How are you going to?
  • Your attacks need a little STANK on them!
  • Violence is a STAPLE of my psychological diet.
  • I don't even need this (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) -- I could beat you with a STAPLER!
  • They're gonna need a whole lot of STAPLES to put you back together.
  • I'm filming a documentary about pain, and you're the STAR!
  • I will leave your corpse to STARE unblinking at the sky!
  • If looks could kill, you'd have STARED me to death by now!
  • My last enemy's skull now STARES blankly at the sky!
  • Quite STARING at me like that, it's really awkward!
  • This will be in STARK contrast to something that does not kill you.
  • How does it feel to know that I STARRED in the most interesting scene in your life?
  • My new film is called 'A Loser Gets His Skull Caved In' -- STARRING you!
  • You're yet another STARRY eyed loser to add to my list!
  • You'll be seeing STARS after this.
  • Are you gonna START fighting for real, or are you just screwing around?
  • How much do I hate bastards attacking me out of nowhere? Man, don't get me STARTED!
  • Sorry, I didn't mean to STARTLE you -- just kill you.
  • Let me know when you're done messing around and the fighting STARTS.
  • I'm STARVED for attention, and this is how I express that.
  • I hope you have an extra STASH of hitpoints somewhere!
  • Maybe they can put you in STASIS and revive you when there's a cure for having gotten your ass kicked.
  • You're gonna need a blood transfusion, STAT.
  • You're gonna be in a pretty sorry STATE when I'm done with you.
  • No STATEHOUSES will display a plaque commemorating your death!
  • I'm pretty sure looking like that is illegal in several STATES.
  • You're about to become a STATISTIC.
  • Maybe this murder will STAVE off my inevitable descent into madness.
  • I'm fighting you because only violence STAVES off my madness.
  • I'll not grant you a STAY of execution!
  • If only you had a friend who would die in your STEAD!
  • Ready, STEADY, attack!
  • After I beat you, I'm going to have a nice, rare STEAK.
  • I'll fillet you, marinate you, and grill you: let's raise the STEAKS on this fight!
  • I'm gonna STEAL your kidneys to sell on the black market.
  • Halt, STEALER. Man. There has got to be a better word for that.
  • You've been caught STEALING. Time to pay the price for it.
  • You will feel dread as my weapon STEALS your last breath!
  • Take no prisoners! Full STEAM ahead!
  • Now don't get STEAMED, I'm just trying to kill you.
  • They'll be able to fit your body in a STEAMER trunk when I'm done with you!
  • I banish you back to the STEAMING pile that birthed you!
  • Your presence STEAMS me to no end.
  • You are a mere beast of burden, not a noble STEED!
  • Not even the mightiest of STEEDS would enable you to escape my wrath!
  • Taste my STEEL!
  • You don't look like someone who STEELS themselves for a good fight!
  • I'd say you stand a chance, but I'm not willing to STEER you in the wrong direction!
  • I'm STEERING the ship of my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) into the iceberg of your face.
  • I hope this beating STEERS you down a more righteous path.
  • I'm gonna send you home in a novelty souvenir beer STEIN.
  • I'll quaff beers from STEINS tonight!
  • I imagine your violent tendancies STEM from the fact that you're so ugly. And dumb.
  • The STENCH of defeat will fill your nostrils!
  • The STENCHES you produce are about to get a lot worse.
  • You won't make it a single STEP past me.
  • You should take STEPS to improve yourself!
  • I sure hope you're STERILE, because the world certainly doesn't need any more of you.
  • You'll not tarnish my STERLING fighting reputation!
  • I'm going to give you a STERN talking-to. Well, my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) does most of the talking.
  • You should've used more than one STEROID, you cheapskate.
  • I'm about to cook up a heaping helping of loser STEW!
  • You're about to be STEWED in your own juices!
  • I won't need a STICK or a stone to break your bones!
  • You're in a real STICKY wicket now!
  • Victory over me is a STILE you won't be jumping over!
  • You'll leap no more STILES after this fight, whatever that means!
  • I've STILL got a whole lot of fight left in me!
  • I won't rest until I've STILLED your heart.
  • When I'm done with you, you'll only need one STILT.
  • Even on STILTS, you couldn't measure up to me.
  • My (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) isn't named STING, but that's what it's gonna do to your kidneys.
  • I've been floating like a butterfly, but now you'll feel my STINGER!
  • Life is like a box of wasps, and you're about to get the STINGERS.
  • Let me know if this STINGS. So I can make fun of you.
  • You'd better not be STINGY with the loot!
  • You need some training and a shower. You STINK in every sense of the word!
  • You're a real STINKER, you know that?
  • Good grief, your breath STINKS! What have you been eating?
  • Geez! Even for a monster, you're STINKY!
  • You're about to do a STINT in Limbo!
  • If you STIR up a hornets' nest, you're gonna get stung.
  • This battle STIRS my soul to greatness.
  • Can your mother sew? Tell her to STITCH this!
  • Violence is my STOCK in trade. Let me show you.
  • I'll light a STOGIE with your funeral pyre.
  • It's very STOIC of you to stand up to such a beating.
  • I'll STOKE the boiler of my rage until I'm steamed up enough to beat you!
  • The boiler of my righteous indignation is so totally STOKED, man!
  • It's too late to try and protect your dignity. I already STOLE it!
  • Your life is down to its last STOLEN minutes!
  • I can give you a new STOMA way cheaper than a surgeon can.
  • I'm going to STOMP you into paste!
  • My fists are STONE and your ass is glass!
  • If you think you're going to beat me, you must be STONED.
  • Only a STONER would think it was funny to attack with this word!
  • This is what you get for hanging out with STONERS.
  • Sticks and STONES can break your bones, and so can my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • Wilt beneath my STONY glare!
  • Didn't want to get beaten up? Then you shouldn't have STOOD in my way.
  • Beaten by a STOOGE like you? Never!
  • I think you're a total STOOL, only without the 's.'
  • I've had STOOLS tougher than you are!
  • I would never STOOP to childish name-calling, you butthole!
  • This oughtta put a STOP to your nonsense...
  • Sorry bud, but the jerk STOPS here.
  • I'm about to put you in cold STORAGE!
  • Wait'll you see what I've got in STORE for you!
  • I don't think you've STORED away enough courage to defeat me!
  • Your face is about to be the STORER of my fist.
  • This isn't my last can of whoop-ass; I have hidden STORES!
  • I'm putting an end to your long and STORIED history of inadequacy.
  • I've heard STORIES about you... actually, they were more like jokes.
  • Aren't you getting tired of STORING all of your blood on the inside? Here, let me help you.
  • You'll wish you had never been brought by the STORK!
  • Prepare for the perfect STORM of violence.
  • You'll wish you had STORMED out of this fight before it started!
  • I strike with the fury of a thousand STORMS!
  • Let me tell you a little STORY about getting thoroughly thrashed.
  • Prepare to be roasted on the STOVE of my fury.
  • They're gonna cook your soul on STOVES! ...You know, in Hell.
  • I'm gonna STOW my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) in your midsection.
  • I don't know if I actually have to hit you, or just wait until you crack from the STRAIN of facing me.
  • Given that we're trying to kill each other, our relationship feels a bit STRAINED.
  • I'm going to put you through the STRAINER!
  • It STRAINS credulity to imagine that you might beat me.
  • I'm about to pluck the last STRAND of your destiny.
  • I'm about to cut all the STRANDS of your fate.
  • You're really creepy and STRANGE.
  • You're a strapping young thing. Here comes the STRAP!
  • This'll knock the STRAPS right off your backpack.
  • Right! That's the STRAW that broke the camel's back!
  • You guys are really grasping at STRAWS.
  • I'll skin you like a STRAY cat.
  • My winning STREAK isn't going to end with you.
  • You know what would liven up this dull fight? A couple of STREAKERS.
  • This STREAM of well-placed hits may make you release a stream of your own!
  • I'm taking you to the intersection of Hurt STREET and Pain Avenue!
  • Don't take this personally. I've been under a lot of STRESS lately.
  • Your various parts will be STREWN all over this battlefield!
  • I'm not done yet! I'm just hitting my STRIDE!
  • We've made great STRIDES in murder technology over the years.
  • I'm about to cause you some serious STRIFE.
  • I'm a union-buster, and all your organs are going on STRIKE!
  • That's three STRIKES, buddy. You're out.
  • I'd STRING you up, if I had any string.
  • I'll use your guts for violing STRINGS!
  • I'll STRIP the meat right off your bones!
  • That's a rather fetching yellow STRIPE down your back.
  • I'll whip you so hard people will think you're wearing a red STRIPED shirt.
  • Time for you to earn your STRIPES!
  • You really should STRIVE to improve your fighting skills!
  • I'm the mightiest titan who ever STRODE across the world!
  • I'm gonna take you down with a single STROKE!
  • You are weak, and I am STRONG!
  • You'd better fret and STRUT while you still can.
  • Ever STUB your toe on a brick? This will be much worse.
  • Let me help you out of this rut you're STUCK in. Meaning life.
  • I am a super-STUD.
  • Future tacticians will STUDY this move.
  • I'm gonna beat you and hit you and kill you and STUFF.
  • I'm gonna do a lot worse than just STUN you.
  • You're fragile as a butterfly, and about to get STUNG by a bee!
  • I hope this attack at least STUNS you!
  • You should bring in your STUNT double for this one!
  • Enough of your STUNTS. Have at you!
  • Attacking me was a pretty STUPID move, buddy.
  • Maybe you should snap out of your STUPOR longe enough to attack me for real.
  • There's a STY in your eye. Here, let me knock it out for you.
  • Not only will I beat you, I'll do it with STYLE.
  • I am proficient in all STYLES of combat.
  • It'll take the STYLISTS hours to make your corpse look good!
  • I bet you think you're pretty SUAVE.
  • My SUAVITY is unmatched even in the finest night clubs.
  • I find your combat skills SUB-par.
  • I'm going to make you the SUBJECT of my new masterpiece, "Bastard With a Crushed Skull".
  • This victory will be SUBLIME.
  • I am going to give you SUCH a beating.
  • I can't put it more politely: you SUCK.
  • I've fought a lot of foes, but none have SUCKED as hard as you do.
  • I'm gonna get you, SUCKER.
  • SUCKS to be you right now.
  • Feel free to SUE for damages if you survive this!
  • I'd beat you harder, but I'm worried I'd get SUED.
  • I shall beat you as bad as I beat that fool who stepped on my blue SUEDE shoes!
  • Have you been using your skull for SUET storage?
  • SUGAR is sweet, but this is gonna be bitter.
  • No SUGARS could mask the bitterness of your defeat!
  • Here's a health tip: Avoid SUGARY snacks, and beatings like the one I'm about to deliver.
  • Remind me to get my good SUIT pressed, so I'll have something to wear to your funeral.
  • I'm gonna cut you into so many bits, your tomb will have to be a SUITE.
  • You're better SUITED to be a farmer than a fighter.
  • I hope the SUITERS make a burial suit that suits you!
  • I can beat you now or beat you later. Either way SUITS me.
  • Are you gonna SULK like a baby if I don't let you win? Too bad!
  • It's no good SULKING. Just get used to the fact that I'm gonna kill you.
  • Don't get all SULKY. Everybody has to die sometime.
  • Try not to be too SULLEN about your impending loss.
  • You won't SULLY my name with defeat!
  • I am the SULTAN of Slay!
  • Don't try to be coy and SULTRY, just come take your medicine!
  • The SUM total of your skills could fit in a flea's navel.
  • You won't live to see another SUMMER.
  • I'm gonna take you down like a SUMO takes down a sushi buffet!
  • I think 'jerkface' SUMS you up pretty well.
  • This one's going where the SUN don't shine.
  • I shall SUNDER your ties with the mortal plane!
  • There'll be nary a song SUNG about you; or at least, not any flattering ones.
  • Let's face it; your ship of hope has SUNK!
  • You're making my disposition considerably less SUNNY.
  • I'm gonna cut a SUNROOF in your chest. You know, for your heart.
  • My hatred for you burns like a thousand SUNS!
  • This fight is a joke. Well, at least I'm getting a good SUNTAN.
  • Hey, 'SUP. I'm gonna kick your ass now, k?
  • You should never have tugged on this SUPER man's cape!
  • That attack was so SUPERB, even you should be applauding.
  • I fully SUPPORT your right to have your skull caved in.
  • Much like your mother, my victory is a SURE thing!
  • I'm gonna SURF a wave of blood, all the way to... uh... I dunno, the bar?
  • I'll polish all of your SURFACES. With... pain!
  • I feel a SURGE of power! I think that latte I drank just kicked in.
  • No, you may NOT borrow my SURGER.
  • I'm about to perform a little impromptu SURGERY on your face.
  • You'll be shocked at how my power SURGES!
  • I'm feeling SURLY, and I'm taking it out on you.
  • I'll leave you tattered and holey like an old SWAG of cloth!
  • I SWAM in rivers of blood before this!
  • You'd better sing your SWAN song while there's still time.
  • Did you know SWANS sing before they die? Ready for your solo?
  • Can we SWAP places for a bit? I'm always on the left.
  • I dance like a butterfly and kill like a whole SWARM of bees!
  • I'm gonna SWAT you like a bug! An ugly, smelly bug!
  • Your reign of terror will hold SWAY no longer!
  • I SWEAR, it's like you're not even trying.
  • I don't like SWEARING, so watch your mouth when this attack hits.
  • I'm not allowed to say any really nasty SWEARS, so... get bent!
  • I'm gonna break your skull without breaking a SWEAT!
  • I could beat you up, or I could knit you a SWEATER. Unfortunately, I never learned to knit.
  • Ugh, I get the cold SWEATS just thinking about what it must be like to be you.
  • SWEEP the leg!
  • Revenge against you will be oh so SWEET.
  • My victory will be SWEETER than a strawberry pie.
  • SWEETS to the sweet, beatings to the you!
  • Your face will SWELL up like a balloon after this.
  • It's time for me to SWIM and you to sink.
  • Filthy SWINE! I'm gonna make you squeal!
  • I will defeat you with a single SWING of my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • Now the pendulum SWINGS in my favor!
  • Allow me to destroy you while you SWIPE ineffectually at me!
  • This'll leave you SWOLLEN.
  • I'll make you SWOON like an old Southern lady!
  • SWOOSH!
  • Prepare to see the glory of my terrible swift SWORD...
  • I'm thinking I might use your ribcage as a rack to keep SWORDS in. Okay?
  • I SWORE I'd never let an inferior opponent defeat me!
  • I am SWORN to smite evil, and you're looking pretty evil right now.
  • Should new acquaintance be destroyed, and auld lang SYNE?
  • I'll make your blood flow like SYRUP from a tree.
  • I've got a SYSTEM. It mostly involves beating you up.
  • I've come to collect on your bar TAB.
  • This isn't a mudhole. It's an operating TABLE.
  • This discussion has been TABLED. Now is the time for action. Specifically, violent action against you.
  • The TABLES are about to be turned, my friend.
  • I've been keeping TABS on you a while, and I'm none too impressed.
  • Agreeing to fight me is TACIT approval for me to beat your ass!
  • You're gonna fold like a TACO!
  • Man I sure could go for some TACOS right about now.
  • Screw TACTICS, I'm just gonna beat you to death.
  • You're a TAD weak for fighting someone of my stature, don't you think?
  • TAG! You're it!
  • I'm gonna pull your arms off like mattress TAGS.
  • I'm going to pin the TAIL on your donkey!
  • You're a pretty lousy fighter. Maybe you'd be a great TAILOR, though, for all I know.
  • Do you know some good TAILORS? Maybe they can stitch this!
  • I'll snip the TAILS off the rats which represent your life in this... weird metaphor.
  • I will remove your evil TAINT from this land! ...ha ha ha, sorry, I can't say that with a straight face.
  • This ues to be a nice place, but you've TAINTED it with your very presence!
  • Your very existence TAINTS this world.
  • TAKE that!
  • I've never TAKEN the easy way out of a fight!
  • I am the giver of violence, and you are the TAKER.
  • I'll offer ten to one against this goon beating me. Any TAKERS?
  • I'll do whatever it TAKES to defeat you.
  • You will be but a footnote in my glorious TALE!
  • My TALENT and hard work make me unstoppable.
  • Don't take it so bad; I'm sure you're TALENTED at something.
  • You should stick with your TALENTS -- like being ugly, and whimpering in pain.
  • Bards are gonna be telling TALES about your spectacular death for years to come.
  • Maybe we can TALK this over. Ha ha! Just kidding!
  • You're quite a TALKER, you know that? Shut up!
  • Keep TALKING, wiseguy. I'll just be over here beating your face in.
  • You'll want to plug your ears when my fist TALKS!
  • Beating you is no TALL order.
  • You'll wish you were a little bit TALLER after I cut you off at the knee!
  • Come, Mr. Tally-man, TALLY me brutal beatdowns!
  • Soon you'll feel Death's icy TALON in your heart!
  • Mess with an eagle, you're gonna get the TALONS.
  • Nothing can TAME this savage beast.
  • You fight like a lion! A lion that's been thoroughly TAMED, that is.
  • You're TAMER than a sedated turtle!
  • In this story, my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) TAMES your face.
  • I'll TAN your hide, buster.
  • You're about to taste the TANG of your own blood.
  • You TANGLE with me, this is what you get.
  • You'll wish you never TANGLED with me!
  • It takes two to TANGO -- me and my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword)!
  • I'm a TANK and I'm about to tread on you!
  • Jeez, how much blood is there in you? Do you buy it by the TANKER?
  • Here's hoping your attempt to dodge this TANKS!
  • I won't rest until I've TANNED your hide!
  • Shall I give your hide to the TANNERS when this is over?
  • Enjoy the TANNINS in the wine made from the grapes of my wrath!
  • I don't care how many TANTRA you throw; you're going down!
  • Feel that TAP on your shoulder? It's the Reaper.
  • I'll get a hearty laugh replaying the TAPE of this one!
  • I wish I had TAPED this fight so I could chuckle about it later.
  • I wish I was making TAPES of this fight, so I could replay it when I was feeling blue.
  • Don't worry, I'll make sure they play TAPS at your funeral.
  • I'm gonna beat the TAR, and the stuffing, and everything else out of you!
  • If you were looking to get the jump on me, you're a little TARDY!
  • A TARE is the seed of a vetch. I don't know what a vetch is.
  • The finest TARGE would not protect you against this onslaught!
  • I've had uglier TARGETS, but not much uglier.
  • I won't let you TARNISH my perfect combat record.
  • I'll pound you like a TARO root.
  • I should have put a TARP down, so I don't get your blood all over the ground.
  • If I'd known you were gonna bleed this much, I would have put down some TARPS.
  • Get ready to be TARRED and feathered.
  • You're going to be feeling a little TARRY and feathery after this.
  • Beating you will be a trivial TASK!
  • I'm going to spin you like a burlesque dancer's TASSEL!
  • Does this (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) TASTE funny to you?
  • I have TASTED your fear! It tastes like black licorice.
  • I'll knock the TASTERS right off your tongue. That's what those things are called, right?
  • Do you taste that? It TASTES like bitter defeat!
  • Victory is far TASTIER than defeat!
  • Your fighting skills are a load of old TAT!
  • I'll smash you like a rotten TATER.
  • My next TAUNT will be far cleverer than this one.
  • My fighting prowess is only matched by the cleverness of my TAUNTS.
  • Man am I glad there's a decent TAVERN back in town.
  • I'm here to collect the blood TAX. Pay up.
  • I won't be TAXED in the slightest by beating you!
  • This fight may be killing you, but it barely TAXES me!
  • Call me the TAXI driver, coz I'm gonna take you to... um... well, whatever!
  • I hope fighting so poorly isn't too TAXING to your self-esteem.
  • They'll need three TAXIS to haul off all the pieces of you!
  • This'll be over before afternoon TEA!
  • I'm here to TEACH you a thing or two about pain! Here's your homework assignment.
  • You're fighting style is so wooden, I thought you were made of TEAK!
  • I'll knock you ass over TEAKETTLE!
  • You're yellow through and through, and I much prefer TEAL!
  • You're about to take one for the TEAM.
  • You were always picked last on TEAMS as a kid, weren't you?
  • I'm gonna TEAR out your organs and use your torso for a suitcase!
  • I hereby declare myself the TEARER of new orifices!
  • See this? This is me TEARING you a new one.
  • Your TEARS are precious to me. Give me some more.
  • You aren't dead yet? Man, you are such a TEASE.
  • Here's a TEASER for the end of this fight: you on the ground, me laughing.
  • Neither TECH nor magic can stop me.
  • Prepare to witness my unstoppable fighting TECHNIQUES!
  • I can destroy you. I have the TECHNOLOGY.
  • I'm gonna use your eye socket as a golf TEE. Or something.
  • Your skull TEEMS with a writhing nest of worms! I assume!
  • I was fighting better than you when I was a mere TEEN!
  • You're as clueless as the TEENS these days with their rock and roll music and their rollerskates!
  • Hold still, this might hurt just a TEENY bit.
  • I'm gonna knock your TEETH so far down your throat, you'll be able to use your butt for chewing!
  • Sit the hell down! Don't make me TELL you again!
  • Now you've done it. You've gone and made me lose my TEMPER.
  • The thought of putting you out of my misery sure is TEMPTING.
  • I know TEN ways to kill a man with a rolled-up newspaper.
  • Magic's okay, but I TEND to prefer a good solid (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword).
  • This will be the opposite of TENDER.
  • If you keep swinging your weapon all willy-nilly like that, you'll get TENDONITIS!
  • I'm going to use your TENDONS as dental floss!
  • The central TENETS of my fighting technique include winning, winning, and being victorious!
  • I'd rather be playing TENNIS!
  • You look pretty TENSE. Maybe I can help that, by knocking you unconscious.
  • I'll make a TENT out of your skin!
  • Mess with an octopus, you're gonna get the TENTACLES.
  • We should have fought while on a camping trip; that'd be the only way it would be in TENTS.
  • Your attacks are as TEPID as a cup of lukewarm tea!
  • This is really going to suck for you in the short TERM.
  • I shall put you six feet beneath TERRA Firma!
  • Flee from me in pants-wetting TERROR!
  • TERSE: I will beat you.
  • Hold still a moment while I TEST the integrity of your ribcage.
  • You're a pain TESTER and the exam's about to begin!
  • Don't mess with TEXAS! (Texas is my uncle's name, and he's pretty mean.)
  • Perhaps you should have studied some martial arts TEXTS to avoid getting beaten so soundly?
  • Look, it's very simple: I'm better THAN you. That's all.
  • THANES will write songs of my victory today.
  • No need to THANK me for this. It's my civic duty.
  • You won't be saying THANKS when this is over.
  • Take THAT! And THAT! And THAT!
  • Maybe this will THAW that icy heart of yours!
  • This'll be THE most painful thing you've ever felt.
  • From Hell's heart I stab at THEE!
  • All fiends eventually get THEIR comeuppance. Here comes yours.
  • Even if everyone told you you're going to win, don't believe THEM!
  • The basic THEME of this fight is that I rule and you suck.
  • Man, your buddies are gonna crap THEMSELVES when they see what happened to you.
  • I'm gonna defeat you, THEN go have a beer.
  • THERE can be only one!
  • Did you like that? How about one of THESE?
  • THEY say every dog has his day, but I don't think you'll live to see yours.
  • Stop, THIEF!
  • Your excuses are wearing pretty THIN.
  • Faugh! Varlet, THINE breath doth possess the malodor of a flatulent goat!
  • It's no big THING to defeat the likes of you!
  • Breaking your face, putting your ass in a sling -- these are a few of my favorite THINGS.
  • If you think you can beat me, you got another THINK coming.
  • I can tell you aren't a deep THINKER.
  • Even though this is a duel, you'll somehow manage to come in THIRD.
  • I'll cut you into THIRDS!
  • Are you THIRSTY? How about a nice hot cup of pain?
  • THIS is going to hurt me way less than it hurts you.
  • THISTLE hurt you a lot more than it does me.
  • I'm gonna cut off your THORAX!
  • You're a real THORN in my butt. Side. I meant side.
  • This is going to hurt like a crown of THORNS.
  • I'm gonna beat you so THOROUGHLY, they'll use your carcass for mulch.
  • THOSE who defy me pay the price.
  • Prepare thyself for death, THOU vile cur!
  • This is tiring. You're pretty fun to hit, THOUGH.
  • If you THOUGHT you were going to win this fight, you THOUGHT wrong.
  • Even if I kill THOUSANDS of you guys, I don't think I'll ever get tired of it.
  • I shall sever the THREAD connecting your body and soul!
  • I'll cut the loose THREADS off of your garments, and also your throat.
  • You're no THREAT to one as mighty as me!
  • You've got 'till the count of THREE to surrender. ...Three!
  • I shall hit you, then I shall hit you THRICE more.
  • I love killing you guys -- your death THROES are hilarious!
  • I'm gonna use your skull to decorate my THRONE. By which I mean toilet.
  • I'll make THRONES from your bones.
  • I'm THROUGH with playing nice! Eat this!
  • I'm going to leave holes THROUGHOUT your entire miserable carcass.
  • Any bone I THROW you is gonna be one of your own.
  • You'll make a satisfying THUD when you hit the ground!
  • No two-bit THUG like you is gonna get the best of me!
  • I'll crush you like an ant under my THUMB.
  • And THUS was the vile monstrosity slain!
  • Prepare to meet THY doom, jerkwad!
  • Is that a TICK on your head? Here, I'll knock it loose for you.
  • You act tough, but I think you're sellin' wolf TICKETS.
  • Your bizarre facial TICS are kind of distracting me. Weirdo.
  • I'm going to hit you harder than a TIDAL wave!
  • Here's a beat-down to TIDE you over until next time!
  • The TIDES have turned, my friend.
  • I'll make your death neat and TIDY, if not at all painless!
  • Let's get this over with. I wanna get back to town and TIE one on.
  • I could beat you with both hands TIED behind my back, but it wouldn't be as much fun!
  • Wow, that is really some top-TIER ugly. Kudos.
  • What will you do without us? I'm cutting your family TIES!
  • I knew you'd turn out to be a paper TIGER.
  • I'm gonna feed you to the TIGERS.
  • I'm gonna beat you TIL candy comes out.
  • Like the noble TILDE, soon you won't exist in this language!
  • I'm gonna TILE the floor with you.
  • I wish this floor were TILED so I could mop it with you!
  • They'll be cleaning your blood off the TILES for weeks!
  • How about I just wale on you TILL the cows come home?
  • I'm going at full TILT!
  • TIME to make the doughnuts!
  • I TIMED my last fight. It took me exactly thirty seconds to win.
  • My TIMELY attacks will make your time run out!
  • The TIMER of your life is about to run out.
  • Set your TIMERS, because I'm going to end this quickly.
  • The TIMES, they are a-changing!
  • You're as TIMID as a mouse, and I'm a cat!
  • I'm gonna open a can of whoop-ass, and it does just what it says on the TIN.
  • I'm going to tear you into little bits and burn you as TINDER!
  • If I had a fork, I would stab you with every TINE!
  • Feel the prick of the TINES of the Fork of Despair!
  • You're getting kind of a green TINGE. Are you feeling okay?
  • My cans of whoop-ass do what they say on the TINS!
  • What is your armor made of? TINSEL?
  • This may hurt, just a TINY bit.
  • Keep the TIP. The TIP of my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword)!
  • If you've enjoyed this beating, TIPS are gratefully accepted.
  • Let's not TIPTOE around the point: you suck.
  • Are you finished with that little TIRADE? Good.
  • I am sick of your TIRADES! Just die already!
  • I'll never TIRE of beating you.
  • I'm getting TIRED of your crap!
  • My wit sometimes becomes weary, but my will to fight never TIRES!
  • I am TIRING of this fight. Let's end it.
  • You'll be as meek as a TIT when this is over. What? Stop laughing!
  • I'm as strong as a TITAN!
  • Which bird is funnier: the TITMOUSE, or the booby?
  • You're as useless as TITS on a boar.
  • If I've TOAD you once, I've TOAD you a hundred times -- don't mess with me when I have a cold!
  • You're no match for me, regardless of what your TOADIES say!
  • When I'm through with you, your brains will be squirming like TOADS!
  • This is my butter knife, and you're TOAST!
  • Your butt is bread and I'm a TOASTER!
  • They'll be making TOASTS to my prowess and your memory later!
  • TODAY is not a good day for you.
  • This'll hurt way more than a stubbed TOE.
  • This'll keep you on your TOES.
  • I'll knock you right out of your TOGA.
  • Nice TOGS, but there's some blood on them. Oh, wait. Not yet.
  • Being an adventurer is a lot of hard work and TOIL, but moments like this make it all worth it.
  • If there was a TOILET handy, I'd give you a swirly.
  • I'm about to flush you like some TOILETS!
  • Consider the lily of the field. It TOILS not, nor does it get hit like you're about to.
  • I'll relax with a TOKE after I smoke you!
  • Consider this a TOKEN of my lack of esteem for you!
  • Just think of these wounds as TOKENS of my affection.
  • You may think you're a midnight TOKER, but I think you're just a joker.
  • Well, I TOLD you not to make me angry.
  • Let's make this quick. I have some TOLE to paint!
  • My TOLERANCE for you has reached an end.
  • You've crossed me, and now you have to pay the TOLL.
  • You're headed straight for the TOMB.
  • I hope you have several TOMBS picked out, coz I'm cutting you into lots of bits.
  • What do you want on your TOMBSTONE? Pepperoni?
  • I'm going to throw the TOME at you!
  • The ancient TOMES of Wisdom have instructed me to kick your ass.
  • I'm gonna hit you like a TON of bricks.
  • The TONAL qualities of your skull are really quite impressive.
  • Don't you dare take that TONE with me, pal!
  • Your flabby body is no match for my TONED physique!
  • I'm tired of paying too much for TONER! It's infuriating!
  • The copiers of your fighting skills are all out of TONERS!
  • I don't like the TONES of your voice and muscle.
  • I'm coming at you hammer and TONGS!
  • Here's where I feed you your own TONGUE, so I don't have to hear your mouth-noises.
  • I'll hit you so hard you'll speak in TONGUES for a week.
  • If you could only see that no TONIC will heal the wounds I will inflict, then maybe you would understand.
  • You'll need the finest unguents and TONICS to recover from this beating.
  • If cowardice were gold, you'd have TONS of the stuff!
  • I'm gonna tear out your throat and beat you with the TONSIL end!
  • I'm gonna knock out your TONSILS.
  • It's TOO late to get out of this alive, villain!
  • Fool of a TOOK!
  • You may hold a weapon, but you're still a TOOL!
  • You're like all the other TOOLS who have lost to me!
  • I'll beat you quickly and then go watch some TOONS!
  • Not to TOOT my own horn, but I'm pretty great.
  • I'm gonna break my sword off in your TOOTER.
  • Was that a TOOTH you just spit out? Gross!
  • TOP of the world, Ma!
  • I'll raise a lump on your head the size of a TOR.
  • You're about to get TORE up.
  • I'm TORN between slaying you, or just killing you.
  • Perhaps it's time for you to TOSS in the towel!
  • You'll soon be TOSSED away like last night's trash!
  • Take this, you TOSSER.
  • Ever notice how the word TOT looks just like a drum kit?
  • TOTAL carnage! I love it!
  • TOTAL carnage! I love it!
  • The sum TOTALS of all who have beaten me, I can count on one finger.
  • You're gonna need a paper bag to TOTE your head around in!
  • You've TOTED your head around for long enough, don't you think?
  • I am TOTES going to beat you, omigod omigod.
  • Let's get this over with so I can go home and eat some TOTS.
  • You'll teeter, you'll TOTTER, you'll fall down!
  • I'll peck you like a vicious . . . um . . . TOUCAN!
  • Ew! Don't TOUCH me!
  • Come on then, if you think you're TOUGH enough!
  • I'm going to tenderize you to TOUGHEN me up!
  • I'm TOUGHER than you thought, huh?
  • How about I give you a TOUR of your internal organs?
  • This beating will be so epic, they'll give TOURS of your grave.
  • You're gonna need someone to TOW you to the junkyard after this.
  • Head TOWARD the light!
  • The light! Move TOWARDS the light!
  • Hope you brought a TOWEL, because you're gonna want to throw it in. Or something.
  • It's time for you to throw in the TOWELS. All of them.
  • I am a TOWER of strength!
  • The angel of death TOWERS over you!
  • I'm really gonna go to TOWN on you, jerkwad.
  • Sure, they're just TOWNIES, but you still shouldn't terrorize them.
  • How many TOWNS ran you out of them before I met you?
  • This is TOXIC, and you're going under!
  • You are a TOXIN, and I am the cure.
  • Purging those TOXINS from your body was a waste of time.
  • I'm not gonna TOY with you for much longer.
  • I'm gonna put you away, like I did the rest of my TOYS.
  • You'll be gone without a TRACE.
  • I'll be long gone before the police have TRACED a chalk outline around your body!
  • I'm gonna remove all TRACES of you from this earth.
  • It's starting to get hard to keep TRACK of how many of you guys I've wasted.
  • This blow will stop you in your TRACKS.
  • You're gonna be in TRACTION for the rest of your miserable life.
  • The most unlucky man alive wouldn't TRADE places with you!
  • Call me a traveling TRADER: you give me grief, I give you pain!
  • I wonder if I could sell your carcass to TRADERS for the cost of a pizza.
  • You should've learned one of the TRADES instead of taking up a life of evil.
  • Your death would be considered a TRAGEDY, if anyone liked you.
  • Your tale is TRAGIC, but at least it's almost over.
  • They will know me by the TRAIL of dead.
  • You've TRAILED behind me this entire fight!
  • If that's the best you can do, I'll be in my TRAILER until you rehearse more.
  • I'll put your coffin on a couple of TRAILERS and haul it away!
  • Happy TRAILS, pardner.
  • You can't stop the pain TRAIN coming your way!
  • I'm TRAINED in more than thirty ways to kill a man. This is number twelve.
  • If you survive this fight, consider hiring a TRAINER.
  • I'm going to knock you out of your TRAINERS and socks!
  • No one TRAINS harder than I do to win these fights!
  • Mercy was never my strongest TRAIT.
  • You're a TRAITOR to all that is good.
  • This is what we do to TRAITORS around these parts.
  • Your tired TRAITS have left you in dire straits!
  • I won't walk you to death's door, but I'll put you on the TRAM!
  • I'm about to stamp you like a TRAMP!
  • Hah! You've fallen right into my TRAP!
  • I plan to work my lats, delts, and TRAPS beating you down!
  • It's time to take out the TRASH! Bam! I'm comparing you to trash!
  • Did you get TRASHED before coming to fight me? That's really disrespectful of my time.
  • You've read your last TRASHY romance novel.
  • You're about to TRAVEL to the Great Beyond.
  • In all my TRAVELS, I've never met such an inept jerk.
  • I'm gonna serve you your ass on a silver TRAY.
  • I will serve you five courses of beating, on fine silver TRAYS.
  • I'm about to TREAD on you.
  • Even the Devil TREADS lightly when I'm around.
  • Does TREASON number among your crimes? It probably does.
  • I will always TREASURE the memory of how thoroughly I destroyed you.
  • Let me TREAT you to a punctured lung!
  • Allow me to read you my new TREATISE on the debilitating effect of spinal fractures.
  • I will use your sweetmeats as dog TREATS.
  • If you were any more wooden, I'd think I was fighting a TREE!
  • I'll festoon the TREES with your entrails!
  • Get ready to take a short TREK to the afterlife.
  • I'm seeing a TREND here: you guys attack me, and I kill you.
  • Beating you up has gotten TRENDY, but I'm not one to rock the boat.
  • I'll TREPAN you, then give you a third black eye.
  • I'll not leave a single TRESS of your hair untouched!
  • I sentence you to a TRIAL by (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword)!
  • All your TRIALS will soon be over!
  • I'll defeat you, then go get a sweet TRIBAL tattoo.
  • You're in the wrong TRIBE, pal.
  • No TRIBES would accept a fighter as pathetic as you!
  • I'll slice and dice you in a TRICE!
  • Hey, wanna see a neat TRICK? Close your eyes!
  • Blood will be TRICKLING out of your ears after this.
  • Many have TRIED to beat me. They tried and died.
  • You couldn't defeat me if I gave you a hundred TRIES.
  • I warn you; I'm in fighting TRIM!
  • I hope this TRIMS a few years off your life.
  • Prepare for a short TRIP and a long fall!
  • I've had enough of your TRIPE. Take this!
  • I'm going to double my pleasure and TRIPLE your pain!
  • On the bright side, your number of badass-looking scars has easily TRIPLED.
  • If you think you can beat me, you've taken too many acid TRIPS!
  • Please stop talking; your threats just sound so TRITE.
  • I'll scorch the very earth on which you have TROD!
  • I know I shouldn't feed a TROLL, but here's a knuckle sandwich.
  • I'd insult you, but I probably shouldn't feed the TROLLS.
  • I could defeat a whole TROOP of the likes of you.
  • It's a tired TROPE, but I'm about to sever your head.
  • It might be one of the tired TROPES, but I'm the hero and I'm going to conquer!
  • I will TROUNCE you quite soundly.
  • I've had a harder fight with a smoked TROUT!
  • I will eat you like a bear eats TROUTS.
  • You're a real treasure TROVE of ineffective attacks!
  • They'll be scraping bits of you of the concrete with TROWELS!
  • Looks like when they were giving fighting lessons, you were TRUANT!
  • There shall be no TRUCE -- this fight is to the finish!
  • Several TRUCKS are about to deliver a cargo of pain.
  • Let my aim be TRUE...
  • I'm here to wrong the rights and false the TRUES! And also to beat you up.
  • I believe you'll find my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) TRUMPS your face.
  • I'm going to TRUNCATE you at the neck!
  • You mess with the elephant, you're gonna get the TRUNK.
  • If I'd known you were gonna bleed this much, I would've brought swim TRUNKS.
  • After this fight, you'll have to wear a TRUSS for the rest of your life!
  • I TRUST you've brought your own coffin?
  • Time to face the TRUTH.
  • If you think you can take me, just TRY it!
  • You're really TRYING my patience, scumbag!
  • Prepare to die, you worthless TUB of guts and stuff!
  • What is this, some kind of TUBE?
  • I've fought TUBERS tougher than you!
  • Buddy, you're throwing your life down the TUBES!
  • I hoped you TUCKED your kids in last night, 'cause they'll never see you again.
  • You might feel a slight TUG.
  • Your cry of pain really TUGS at my heartstrings. I hate that!
  • I'll plant a TULIP on your grave when this is over.
  • I'll knock the TULIPS right off of your face!
  • You should get that neck TUMOR looked at. Wait... is that your head?
  • I'm deadlier than TUMORS.
  • I'm gonna come down on you like a TUN of bricks! By which I mean a cask or barrel. Of bricks.
  • You can't TUNA fish, but I can beata you!
  • You'll be whistling a different TUNE when I'm done with you.
  • Will this attack disable you, or kill you outright? Stay TUNED!
  • You should've been a piano TUNER instead.
  • Were your parents piano TUNERS? I don't know why that's important, I just thought I'd ask.
  • I'll make a xylophone out of your ribs, and play jaunty TUNES on it.
  • TUNG oil is used to make varnish, but that isn't important right now.
  • Try not to get any blood on my TUNIC, okay?
  • That light at the end of the TUNNEL? That's my fist!
  • Go back and hide in the underground TUNNELS you undoubtedly live in!
  • I'd try to teach you some skills, but you can't polish a TURD.
  • I've seen TURDS more appealing than you.
  • Time for you to hit the TURF!
  • TURN around for a second -- I've got a surprise for you.
  • Maybe if your mom had given you a hug now and again you wouldn't have TURNED out so evil.
  • So it TURNS out you're less of a fighter than you thought. What a surprise.
  • Like the TURTLES, it's ass-kickings all the way down!
  • You mess with the boar, you're gonna get the TUSK.
  • If you think you're gonna win this little TUSSLE, you've got another think coming!
  • I won't even wear a TUX at your funeral!
  • If I'd have known I was fighting such a fancy opponent, I'd have worn my TUXEDO.
  • There will be very little room TWEEN you and the ground when this is over.
  • I have the strength of TWENTY of the likes of you.
  • Get out of my face! I'm not gonna tell you TWICE!
  • Do you have a TWIN? Because this would go a lot faster if I could kill two of you at once.
  • Are those your arms, or just lengths of limp TWINE?
  • I'm gonna leave you TWISTING in the wind.
  • Take this, you TWIT.
  • I'll show you a thing or TWO!
  • Sorry pal, you just aren't my TYPE.
  • UGH. Yeah, that's pretty much all I have to say.
  • I want you to know that it is your UGLINESS that forces me to do these things.
  • And you're UGLY, too!
  • This will be the ultimate showdown of ULTIMATE destiny!
  • Get ready for an ULTRA-beating.
  • A smile might be your UMBRELLA, but it won't stop me raining blows on you.
  • UMM... What?
  • Now that was just UNCALLED for.
  • I'll make you cry UNCLE!
  • I'll hit you so hard you cry multiple "UNCLES!"
  • I'm gonna put you six feet UNDER!
  • I'm going to bury you UNDERNEATH a nice shady tree... so birds will poop on your grave.
  • That last attack was terrible. Are you sure you don't wanna hit 'UNDO'?
  • What are you? Some UNHOLY combination of human and pig?
  • Your face and my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) are about to form a more perfect UNION.
  • I'm gonna kick you right in the UNIT!
  • UNITED I stand, divided you fall.
  • I'll knock you across the UNIVERSE.
  • I'm gonna take you to UNIVERSITY. It's like taking you to school, but more so.
  • I guess I'm just gonna kill you now, UNLESS you have any better ideas?
  • UNLIKE you, I'll be leaving this fight with all of my limbs still attached.
  • My work here is UNPAID; I just genuinely enjoy beating people up.
  • Now you see my UNROBED fury! Avert your eyes!
  • Your continued existence is quite UNSATISFACTORY.
  • UNSURE if I'm a really great fighter or you're a really lousy one.
  • I'm gonna beat you UNTIL the cows come home.
  • I say UNTO thee: die!
  • I shall lay the smack down UPON thee!
  • Your life is all downs and no UPS.
  • I've got the URGE to do some damage.
  • My therapist says I should ignore my violent URGES. I disagree.
  • URINE real trouble now, buddy!
  • There won't even be enough of you left to fill an URN.
  • I'll not leave a single USABLE part of you!
  • I'm gonna USE your skull for a cereal bowl.
  • You know, I'm starting to get USED to murdering you guys. That's probably a bad sign.
  • Your mom was a heavy drug USER, huh?
  • I fight for the USERS!
  • I will admit, you've got your USES. Like fertilizer.
  • I've considered USING your guts as garters, but that sounds pretty gross.
  • I'm USUALLY much nicer, but you just rub me the wrong way for some reason.
  • I shall dispatch you with UTMOST haste.
  • It's time you VACATED these premises.
  • You're about to go on a permanent VACATION.
  • VAGINA! It's not a dirty word!
  • VAGINAS are tougher than you are!
  • You don't even have a VAGUE idea of how to do this, do you?
  • You'll VAIL at the end of this fight!
  • You're so VAIN, I'll bet you think this attack is about you.
  • Soon you will be beyond this VALE of tears!
  • You're about to travel beyond the VALES of death!
  • Should I hand you your ass, or give it to your VALET?
  • If you're worried you're about to hurt a lot, it's a VALID concern!
  • Forsooth, none shall mock nor impugn my VALOR! So there!
  • You add nothing of VALUE to the world. It's time to remove you from it.
  • You are a VALUED customer of my violence emporium.
  • Your VALUES differ slightly from mine, so you must die.
  • Beating you will be as easy as taking candy from a stranger in a VAN.
  • I'll make a weather VANE from your sternum.
  • I'll leave you swinging like a sack of weather VANES!
  • I'm gonna make you VANISH like magic! Blood magic.
  • Watch as your hope of victory VANISHES!
  • Any delusion of capability on your part is mere VANITY.
  • You're about to feel like you're being run over by a series of VANS!
  • Man, I am so sick of your VAPID nonsense.
  • When I'm done, there'll be nothing left of you but VAPOR!
  • I'm gonna hit you so hard, it'll VAPORISE your entire family.
  • You're gonna drop like a Southern belle with a case of the VAPORS!
  • You're about to get a bad case of the VAPOURS.
  • Your bruises and wounds will be VARIED and severe.
  • The result of my attack VARIES, but in this case it should be fatal!
  • I will hurt you in VARIOUS ways.
  • I'll VARNISH my furniture with your blood!
  • My punishments VARY from opponent to opponent. Yours will be quite severe.
  • I'll shatter you like a porcelain VASE!
  • I wonder how many VASES of flowers people will bring to your funeral?
  • The gulf between our skill levels is VAST.
  • They'll have to regrow you in a VAT after this!
  • They'll have to regrow you from bits in VATS after I'm done with you.
  • Do you prefer a simple coffin, or a fancy burial VAULT?
  • I'll open the VAULTS that contain your innards!
  • I'll be here all week! Try the VEAL!
  • Watch my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) as it VEERS toward your face.
  • I'll give you a sound beating with a side of VEG.
  • Allow me to pull back the VEIL of infinity for you.
  • I'm about to shove you through the VEILS separating this life and the next!
  • You'd better calm down, before that VEIN in your forehead bursts.
  • There's too much blood in your VEINS. Here, I'll let some of it out.
  • You mess with the platypus, you're gonna get the VENOM. Seriously. Did you know those things were venomous?
  • I'm about to VENT my spleen by venting yours.
  • I'm going to add a few VENTS in your hide to let the loser out!
  • I am from Mars, you are from VENUS. Mars attacks!
  • No power in the VERSE can stop me! Or the chorus either!
  • The bards will write epic VERSES about how badly I'm about to beat you!
  • Maybe VERSION 2.0 of you will do better!
  • Maybe VERSION 2.0 of you will do better!
  • This is it: me VERSUS you, mano a... thing-o.
  • I am going to hurt you. Badly. VERY badly.
  • I'll defeat you and then drink a VESPER. Shaken, not stirred.
  • You should've worn your (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword)-proof VEST for this fight.
  • I have a VESTED interest in winning this fight.
  • You've destroyed the last VESTIGES of my patience.
  • I'd recommend you a good doctor, but maybe a VET would be more appropriate.
  • You want to stay alive? Sorry, I have to VETO that motion.
  • I dunno if a regular doctor would take your case. Maybe you can go to the VETS?
  • This might VEX you a little.
  • You have VEXED me for the last time.
  • It VEXES me to think how little a challenge this fight is.
  • Thou art VEXING me beyond all rational capacity, varlet!
  • I'm going to stab you in the heart, VIA your butthole.
  • There won't be enough left of you to fill a one-ounce VIAL.
  • Vampires should be ready to scoop up your blood into VIALS!
  • I'm getting kind of a "scared loser" VIBE off of you.
  • You're giving me bad VIBES, here.
  • I'll thump you like a VICAR thumps a bible.
  • Gentleness may be a virtue, but beating down fools is my VICE!
  • I have many VICES, but beating you is my favorite.
  • This will be the latest in my endless series of VICTORIES.
  • I'm going to want to see the VIDEO replay of this attack.
  • I'm gonna give you the kind of beating you normally only see in VIDEOS.
  • It's cute how you guys all VIE for my attention. If only you weren't trying to kill me, we could be pals.
  • You VIED for dominance, but you won't get it.
  • It's nothing personal, you're just blocking my VIEW.
  • Your VIEWS on ethics and morality differ from mine. Die!
  • You have neither the skills nor the VIGOR to compete against me!
  • I strike at your heart, VILE beast!
  • I've never met a VILER, more despicable cur than yourself!
  • You're the VILEST thing I've ever laid eyes on.
  • Looks like your chances are dying on the VINE!
  • Soon VINES will grow through your bleached ribcage!
  • Your screams have the analog warmth of VINYL.
  • Voila! This attack hits harder than a VIOLA!
  • Voila! This attack hits harder than a VIOLA!
  • I'm afraid I have to VIOLATE your right to be alive!
  • VIOLENCE, as you may have noticed, is my specialty.
  • I'm not normally this VIOLENT. Well, actually, yes I am.
  • Your yellow cowardice pushes my red rage into VIOLET!
  • You'll be pushing up VIOLETS soon.
  • Heck yeah I like VIOLINS! Check out this attack! ...What?
  • They call me the VIPER, because I'm here to kill you.
  • Messing with me is like stirring up a nest of VIPERS.
  • I bet the video of this fight will go VIRAL!
  • I bet the video of this fight will go VIRAL!
  • If you were any less VIRILE you'd be a eunuch!
  • Prepare for a VIRTUOSO symphony of pain.
  • I'm gonna kill you like a vaccine kills a VIRUS.
  • I hope you're not feeling too optimistic VIS -a-vis your survival chances.
  • I hope you have a VISA for next week, coz that's where I'm knocking you to.
  • Time to vivisect your VISAGE!
  • You won't escape the VISE-grip of death!
  • I'm having a VISION! Of you, beaten to a pulp!
  • Time for you to go VISIT your maker!
  • You should be wearing a protective VISOR!
  • I'm going to turn your VITAL organs into jam.
  • Here comes one straight at your VITALS!
  • I'll not seduce you like a VIXEN, I'll pummel you like Blitzen!
  • There'll be no VIXENS waiting for you back at the tavern!
  • I am a VOCAL opponent of everything you stand for.
  • I'll provide the percussion, and your screams will be the VOCALS.
  • Violent retribution is really in VOGUE right now.
  • Please shut up -- your VOICE gives me the jibblies.
  • Have I VOICED my displeasure at your repulsive appearance?
  • Those VOICES you hear are your ancestors urging you to join them!
  • Prepare to commit your body to the VOID!
  • Sorry, but I think this VOIDS your warranty. On your lungs.
  • VOILA!
  • I'm as VOLATILE as nitroglycerin and twice as cool!
  • Like a VOLCANO, I'll erupt!
  • You smell like a monkey, and you look like a VOLE.
  • You're going to be food for the VOLES!
  • I'm charging this attack with every VOLT in my batteries!
  • You'll look like you've taken a thousand VOLTS to the brain when I'm through with you!
  • Your head is just entirely full of VOMIT, isn't it?
  • Here's where I do that VOODOO that I do so well!
  • Mercy or violence? I VOTE violence.
  • Good news! You've been VOTED most likely to get beaten up!
  • No VOTER in the land would choose you over me.
  • No matter what the VOTERS say, this fight's going my way!
  • The VOTES are in, and it's a landslide.
  • I'm VOTING you off the mortal plane!
  • I've taken a VOW to destroy you!
  • I'll disembowel you with this VOWEL!
  • Your expressions of pain will consist mainly of VOWELS.
  • I don't make a lot of VOWS, but I promise not to leave your skull uncrushed.
  • Bon VOYAGE! Send me a postcard from the middle of next week!
  • I don't like to be VULGAR, but I'm about to beat your ass like a kick drum.
  • Get ready for a big WAD of pain.
  • You've just begun to WADE in the deep pool of pain!
  • The blood's going to run so deep in a minute, I'll need WADERS!
  • You're like a kid who WADES in alligator-infested water!
  • You'll be WADING in your own blood after I'm through with you!
  • I WAG my finger in your direction, fiend.
  • I pay people in beat-downs, and you're going to earn more than minimum WAGE!
  • You've WAGED your campaign of fear for too long.
  • I'd WAGER you'll be stone dead in a moment.
  • I hope no one placed WAGERS on you winning this fight. I hate to cost people money!
  • The WAGES of sin are... death!
  • My fists are WAGING war on your face!
  • I'll fix your WAGON.
  • I'm about to fix your little red WAGONS!
  • I am the tail that WAGS the dog!
  • Gnash and WAIL all you want, it won't change your fate.
  • Remember that time you WAILED in pain when I hit you with my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword)?
  • This attack will likely prompt a lot of gnashing of teeth and WAILING.
  • I can still hear the WAILS of the last opponent I vanquished!
  • Though it may seem a waste, I'll cut you off at the WAIST!
  • Let's get this over with. I'd hate to make the Grim Reaper WAIT to take you!
  • You should've WAITED tables for a living, instead of turning to crime.
  • Fighting isn't really your thing. Have you tried being a WAITER?
  • If you had tipped your WAITERS better, maybe this wouldn't have happened.
  • Were you WAITING long? I'll try to make this quick.
  • Time WAITS for no man, and you're out of time!
  • Your right to live has been WAIVED.
  • WAKE up, Mr. Henderson -- it's time for your murder pill.
  • If I cut you into multiple pieces, will your friends hold multiple WAKES? Oh wait, you don't have any friends.
  • Why don't you take a long WALK off a short pier.
  • Up against the WALL, scumbag!
  • I'll make a WALLET out of your hide.
  • I won't just mop the floor with you, I'll wash the WALLS, too!
  • I am the WALRUS. Goo goo ga joob.
  • You're looking WAN -- is it because you fear your impending demise?
  • With a wave of my magic WAND, I shall transform you into... a corpse!
  • Not all who WANDER are lost, but you definitely are.
  • Are you a fighter, or just one of those crazy hobos that WANDERS around getting in trouble?
  • A handful of magic WANDS won't help you!
  • I see your power is beginning to WANE!
  • My interest in this fight has WANED. Let's get it over with.
  • My skill waxes as your chance of surviving WANES!
  • Words cannot express how much of a WANK you are.
  • I can't think of anything clever to say, so I'm just going to call you a WANKER.
  • You WANT a piece of this? Huh?
  • I just WANTED to let you know: I really hate you.
  • Get ready for a display of WANTON violence.
  • Now there's a face that just WANTS me to smash it.
  • I hope you realize: this means WAR.
  • Somebody better call the trauma WARD!
  • You should have put forth more effort and WARDED off this attack!
  • No hex or curse WARDS off my rage!
  • I'm the pain peddler. Here, try my WARES!
  • This is just a WARM up.
  • Your pathetic attempt WARMS my heart.
  • I should WARN you -- this is going to hurt a lot.
  • You can't say you haven't been WARNED. Time do die!
  • I should feel bad about this, but you've had plenty of WARNINGS.
  • Next time, listen to the wise man who WARNS you not to pick a fight with me!
  • Are you really that slow, or are you caught in a time WARP?
  • Your moral fiber is WARPED.
  • I hope this WARPS your perception of yourself as a competent fighter!
  • I've dispatched the mightiest WARRIORS in the land. You'll be no trouble at all.
  • I've lived through plagues, famines, and WARS. You don't stand a chance.
  • You're a WART on the world, and I'm the folk remedy!
  • I've seen WARTIER foes than you, but not many.
  • This'll knock the WARTS right off your nose.
  • You're ugly, WARTY, and you have bad breath.
  • You'd be wise to be a little more WARY of me!
  • I WAS going to let you go, but I changed my mind.
  • I'm hot like WASABI when I bust heads!
  • You'll never WASH away the stink of failure!
  • You're all WASHED up, jerkface!
  • After this, you're going to look like somebody accidentally ran you through the WASHER.
  • This will hurt a lot more than a WASP string.
  • I'm gonna flatten you like a cheese-slicer flattens WASPS!
  • I'm gonna WASTE you.
  • The very oxygen you breathe is WASTED on the likes of you!
  • Stop being a WASTER of my time -- it's making my sentences all awkward.
  • I shall banish your soul to the ethereal WASTES!
  • I'm not WASTING any more time on the likes of you.
  • WATCH this, I'm gonna make your liver disappear. Presto!
  • I'll WATER my plants with your blood!
  • Soon you will sink beneath the black WATERS of death!
  • This will send you to a WATERY grave. Or a dry one.
  • I will wash over you like a WAVE.
  • Did you see that? The Grim Reaper just WAVED at you.
  • You should have to sign a waiver before you become a weapon-WAVER!
  • My resolve never WAVERS, nor does it sign any waivers!
  • This pain will come in WAVES.
  • Blood loss will soon make your vision go all WAVY.
  • WAX on, WAX off.
  • I've WAXED nostalgic long enough -- it's time to wax violent!
  • I'll place a flower upon your WAXEN corpse!
  • They call my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) The WAXER, because of all the whacks it delivers.
  • Some of us are WAXERS, and some of us are waners.
  • My skill at fighting WAXES ever stronger!
  • Your skin couldn't be any WAXIER if you were wearing a candle mask.
  • Okay, enough WAXING poetic. Die now!
  • Urgh, what's this WAXY residue you're leaving on my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword)?
  • I'll do this my WAY.
  • Allow me to show you the error of your WAYS.
  • I am strong, and you are WEAK.
  • I'll WEAN you from your pesky reliance on breathing.
  • Try again after your mother WEANS you!
  • I could probably beat you with a strong sneeze, but I'll use my WEAPON.
  • I could defeat you even without WEAPONS.
  • I'll WEAR your skin as a cummerbund.
  • My patience with your failure WEARS thin!
  • I grow WEARY of this fight! Hurry up and die so I can fight someone cooler!
  • Don't think you're gonna WEASEL your way out of this one!
  • You'll feel like WEASELS ripped your flesh when I'm done with you!
  • This is one storm you won't have WEATHERED.
  • Oh, what a tangled WEB I weave. A WEB of pain.
  • Your face and my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) are about to be WED.
  • This will hurt a WEE bit.
  • This world is a garden, and you are merely a WEED!
  • You'll be searching for your spleen in the tall WEEDS!
  • Man, you have a face that I could punch all WEEK.
  • It's gonna take WEEKS to clean up the blood when I'm done with you.
  • I've never understood the appeal of rock band WEEN!
  • I'm guessing there won't be a lot of people to WEEP at your funeral.
  • You're about to lose some WEIGHT.
  • I'll call you Oscar Mayer, because you're a total WEINER!
  • You're pretty WEIRD. ...That's all I have to say, I guess.
  • Did you have to WELD your hat to that iron skull of yours?
  • You won't be feeling WELL after this.
  • I'm going to beat you until you're just a single giant WELT.
  • You'll be WELTED when we're done, and not in a fun way!
  • I'm gonna beat you till you've got WELTS growing out of your other welts!
  • You'll wonder where all of your blood WENT.
  • Where WERE we?
  • East is east and WEST is west, and I'm gonna rip you a new bunghole.
  • You couldn't fight your way out of a WET paper bag.
  • It won't be long before your blood WETS the grass!
  • I sure am having a WHALE of a time! Because you're fat like a whale!
  • Sheesh, look at you. They didn't need a hero, they needed a WHALER.
  • I'll feed you to the WHALES.
  • It's time for some WHAPS about the head and neck.
  • You won't know WHAT hit you.
  • I'm here to stop your nefarious plan... WHATEVER it turns out to be!
  • It's time to separate the WHEAT from the chaff!
  • The WHEEL of time is about to run you over.
  • WHEN you get to hell, tell your mother 'hi' for me.
  • WHERE do you want it -- the belly or the head?
  • WHEREAS you are found to be an annoyance, and furthermore distasteful to the sight, it is the decision of this committee to destroy you.
  • I can't decide WHETHER to smash your face, or kick your ass.
  • WHICH organ would you prefer me to stab you in?
  • Hold my beer WHILE I bludgeon you.
  • I'm not just doing this on a WHIM -- I genuinely hate your face.
  • Don't WHINE. You had this coming.
  • Don't be such a WHINER. Take your defeat like a man!
  • I shall pay no heed to pleas, bargains, or WHINES!
  • I'll WHIP your ass!
  • I'm on you like WHITE on rice!
  • Prepare to turn a WHITER shade of pale!
  • I was gonna wait till I saw the WHITES of your eyes, but they're all weird and bloodshot.
  • I'm a real WHIZ at violence.
  • WHO's your daddy? I ask so I can defeat him after I defeat you.
  • WHOA -- is that your spleen? Look, maybe you should pick that up. I'll wait.
  • This is gonna hurt you a WHOLE lot more than it does me.
  • For WHOM does the bell toll? You, that's WHOM.
  • I'd say your mother's a WHORE, but that's rude, and besides, she's never charged me.
  • You're a lousy fighter. You'd be better off having WHORED yourself for money.
  • Speaking of WHORES, how are your mother and sister doing?
  • WHOSE ear is this? Is this yours?
  • WHY beat you? WHY not?
  • This wound will be WIDE as a church door!
  • I'm about to WIDEN the space between your ears!
  • Your various orifices need to be WIDENED. Allow me.
  • The gap between our skill levels WIDENS with every round!
  • No one WIELDS as much power as I do!
  • I was gonna make a joke about how ugly your WIFE is? But I don't know if you're married.
  • You'd need one heck of a WIG to make up for that face.
  • I'll knock the WIGS off of your mannequins!
  • Your skills are tame, but I'm about to go WILD!
  • Back in my WILDER days, I'd have beaten you even worse.
  • I shall banish you to the WILDS!
  • Your WILES are insufficient to save you from this.
  • Where there's a WILL, there's me, kicking your ass.
  • I see your courage WILT in the face of my onslaught!
  • Looks like your desire to fight has WILTED!
  • Your confidence WILTS before my might.
  • You're a WILY opponent, I'll give you that!
  • Maybe if you were less of a WIMP, you'd stand a chance.
  • If you were less WIMPY, you'd stand a chance against me.
  • I'm sure to WIN against the likes of you.
  • I'll hit you so hard your grandkids will WINCE!
  • I'll beat you so hard that your grandmother WINCES!
  • Do you feel the icy WIND of your impending doom?
  • I'll scatter you to the four WINDS!
  • I see you've aged like WINE: you've turned to vinegar.
  • I will uncork many fine WINES to celebrate this victory!
  • If you haven't practiced dying, it's okay to just WING it.
  • The WINGED angels are descending for your soul!
  • If you've always wanted to be an angel, you're about to earn your WINGS!
  • I think I'll catch a couple WINKS. Wake me up when you're ready to fight.
  • If you see any pigs fly overhead, that means you'll be the WINNER of this fight.
  • Hey, don't worry about it. We can't all be WINNERS.
  • You take the losses and I'll take the WINS!
  • Now is the WINTER of your discontent!
  • You've seen the last of your WINTERS!
  • I'll WIPE you off the face of this world.
  • You're about to be WIPED off the face of the earth!
  • I'm about to be a floor WIPER, and you're about to be the floor wipe!
  • They call my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) The Wiper, because it WIPES the floor with foes like you.
  • You're walking on a very thin WIRE, my friend!
  • Sorry, I guess I'm just WIRED for violence.
  • If you think you're going to win, you have your WIRES crossed!
  • If you were WISE, you'd run away from this fight!
  • If beatings give you wisdom, you're about to get a lot WISER.
  • You'll WISH you had never been born!
  • You aren't the pony I WISHED for!
  • I'll bet your mother WISHES you had never been born.
  • When I'm done, there won't be anything left of you but little WISPS of smoke.
  • I wish I knew what WIST meant, so I could cleverly insult you with that word!
  • I wish you would show just an inkling of WIT to make this fight worthwhile.
  • Whoo, I bet some WITCH could make a real crazy brew out of your face.
  • You're either WITH me, or you're against me.
  • No matter whither thou goest, I will beat you about the WITHERS!
  • You must seek your answers WITHIN yourself. Let me help by eviscerating you.
  • Let's see how long you can last WITHOUT your liver.
  • If you had your WITS about you, you'd have avoided this fight!
  • Yeah, I bet you think you're real WITTY. Dick.
  • All of your WIVES are about to be widows!
  • I'm the WIZARD of pain! Abracadabra!
  • It won't take a council of WIZARDS to defeat you -- I'll do it alone!
  • I'm about to further WIZEN your already cracked face!
  • I'll look back on this fondly when I'm a WIZENED old man!
  • I'll stay young and beautiful while your face WIZENS!
  • WOE is me! ...No, wait. Not me, you.
  • I am the instrument of all your WOES! Or something.
  • You'll be sorry you WOKE up this morning.
  • If you try to mock me you'll get knocked! I'll stir-fry you in my WOKS!
  • I'm hungry like the WOLF, and you look like you're on your way to Grandma's house!
  • You'd better hang on tighter just to keep from being thrown to the WOLVES!
  • I'd say you fight like a WOMAN, but many women are quite excellent at combat, and you're not.
  • Your journey started in the WOMB, and ends here.
  • You've terrorized the men and WOMEN of this valley for too long.
  • This fight is already WON!
  • I've gotta WONDER what made you think you could beat me!
  • You think you can beat me? Will WONDERS never cease?
  • I WONT show you any mercy! Or apostrophes!
  • WOO! Violence! WOO!
  • My theory is that your head is made of solid WOOD. Now to test this theory...
  • I'll bury you in a WOODED glen.
  • Man, I've fought training dummies less WOODEN than you.
  • WOODLAND creatures will feast on your bones.
  • Your next stop is a shallow grave in the WOODS.
  • You must have WOOL between your ears if you think you can fight me!
  • You've pulled the WOOLS over your last sets of eyes.
  • In the beginning was the WORD, and the word was 'die'.
  • You're so ugly, WORDS simply fail me.
  • Man, you're a WORDY son-of-a-gun, aren't you?
  • This blow will be a WORK of art.
  • Wow, I was just messing around. I can't believe that attack WORKED!
  • Are you WORKING at being this ineffectual, or does it just come naturally to you?
  • I'm gonna give you the WORKS.
  • You're entering a WORLD of pain, my friend.
  • I am become death, the shatterer of WORLDS!
  • Prepare to be food for the conqueror WORM!
  • Prepare to be food for the WORMS!
  • All right, you've WORN out your welcome, buddy!
  • All your WORRIES will soon be over!
  • I wouldn't WORRY about your future. You don't have one!
  • Hey, it could be WORSE for you -- wait, no, it couldn't.
  • Your condition is about to WORSEN significantly.
  • You are simply the WORST excuse for a monster I've ever met.
  • You're barely WORTH the time it'll take to defeat you.
  • Maybe you wouldn't beat someone to a pulp, but I WOULD!
  • Trust me, this won't be just a flesh WOUND!
  • How are those WOUNDS? Like 'em? Want some more?
  • I WOVE you this great shroud; hate to see it go to waste.
  • You've WOVEN a wicked web, and I'm here to sweep it away.
  • Man, I feel like you guys are generally pretty ugly and stupid, but WOW!
  • I'll WRACK you with pain.
  • Let's WRAP this up, I've got stuff to do.
  • Well, that about WRAPS it up for you.
  • I've got more WRATH than a bunch of grapes!
  • This is the last havoc you'll ever WREAK.
  • I'm going to check you, and then WRECK you.
  • After this, a WREN will make a nest out of your sinews.
  • Time to WREST control of this fight!
  • I'm gonna WRING your stupid, ugly neck!
  • I'm going to punch the WRINKLES off your face!
  • This'll be considerably more than a slap on the WRIST!
  • I'm about to WRITE your epitaph!
  • Mother wanted me to be a WRITER.
  • This one WRITES your epitaph!
  • Your fate has already been WRITTEN, and it's not good...
  • If beating you is WRONG, I don't want to be right.
  • Two WRONGS don't make a right. Let's try three.
  • That's all she WROTE.
  • Spare me your WRY commentary.
  • Pfft, what was that? Boy, you sure are a WUSS.
  • You smell like a YAK.
  • Your face will look like a YAM when this is over.
  • My weapon is the Yin to your skull's YANG. Or something.
  • You YANKED the chain, now get ready for the dog.
  • Shut your YAP already.
  • Some die by inches, but you'll get the whole YARD!
  • You'll die by inches with pain by YARDS!
  • This fight won't make an epic YARN; you're barely fighting at 'dirty limerick' level!
  • Jeez, your attacks make me YAWN. Is that all you've got?
  • I am the greatest! Ooh YEAH!
  • I'll knock you into next YEAR.
  • It'll be YEARS before you're ready to face me!
  • Much like bread made with YEAST, I shall rise!
  • You're probably one of those people who spells "yeah" YEH, aren't you.
  • Are you dead yet? Just give me a YELL or something.
  • I have a YEN to beat you into a pulp!
  • I'm gonna mess you up pretty bad, YEP.
  • Am I going to beat you to a pulp? YES. Yes I am.
  • I'm not through with you YET, buddy.
  • Your face is the YIN to my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword)'s yang.
  • You're going to fold like a YOGA instructor! Or something.
  • There's not been a fighter so outmatched as you since days of YORE!
  • This is gonna hurt YOU more than it hurts me. Like, a lot more.
  • I've been thrashing fools like you since I was YOUNG!
  • You're gonna be carrying YOUR face home in a paper bag!
  • Up YOURS, buddy.
  • You better check YOURSELF before you wreck yourself.
  • YUCK, I think some of your blood got on me.
  • This'll be a funny story to tell around the YULE log.
  • Is this gonna hurt, you ask? YUP.
  • Every time you zig, I'll ZAG!
  • All of the zigs and ZAGS have led us to this moment: your doom!
  • I've been in ZANIER fights, but sometimes it's nice to just beat up a dude without all the comedy.
  • Get ready for a ZANY, madcap adventure... of pain!
  • ZAP! Pow! Socko!
  • Watch as my attack saps your will and ZAPS your body!
  • My ZEAL for defeating you knows no bounds!
  • It's not like I'm a ZEALOT or anything, I just really like killing you guys.
  • Not even the most committed of ZEALOTS would step to me the way you dared to!
  • You're a ZEALOUS little punk, aren't'cha?
  • My zeal is like ten ZEALS compared to your zeal.
  • I'm going to beat you up, then paint you like a ZEBRA. Y'know, just for fun.
  • I'm gonna crush you like a herd of stampeding ZEBRAS!
  • Just like ZED, you will be dead soon!
  • I haven't even reached the ZENITH of my power!
  • You have ZERO chance of leaving here alive!
  • I'm writing you a money-order for pain, and I'm using all the ZEROES!
  • Your friends are all ZEROS, and you are too.
  • Your tears will only add ZEST to my victory.
  • Some people prefer their revenge sweet, but I like mine ZESTY.
  • Take off every ZIG! For great justice!
  • Yeah, your chances of getting out of here alive are basically ZILCH.
  • Maybe if you had more ZINC in your diet, you wouldn't be such a loser.
  • I'm gonna beat you up and then write about it in my ZINE.
  • Can I interest you in one of my hand-printed adventuring ZINES?
  • Your mama's so fat, she's at risk for Type II Diabetes! ZING!
  • Man, I've gotten some pretty good ZINGS on you and your buddies. Is anyone writing these down?
  • I'm gonna knock you into the next ZIP code!
  • I'll be gone before the coroner ZIPS your body bag!
  • I'm gonna pop you like a ZIT!
  • On the bright side, at least this'll pop some of your ZITS.
  • What's your ZODIAC sign? The Ugly Butthole?
  • I sure hope I'm fighting a ZOMBIE right now! That would be a sweet coincidence.
  • The only thing you have to fear is me. And ZOMBIES, I guess.
  • Oh yeah! I'm in the ZONE!
  • Are you too ZONED out to defend yourself?
  • I don't know if the ZONERS allow wussy parking here!
  • ZONES rhymes with 'bones', and I'm gonna break all of your bones.
  • Let's finish this, I'm kind of ZONING out already.
  • They never should have let you out of the ZOO.
  • If I'd known I was gonna have to deal with freaks like you, I'd've majored in ZOOLOGY
  • ZOOM! That's the sound of your approaching doom.
  • Watch as my (staff/wand/weapon/orb/fist/tusk/knife/sword) ZOOMS at your face.
  • Your mama needs two tickets to go to ZOOS: one to get in and one to get out!
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